One Week in San Diego

One Week in San Diego

In December of 2018 I was arrested for possessing roughly 3 grams of marijuana, a pipe with marijuana residue, and 4 gummy edibles, the combined potency being roughly the equivalent of 1 gram of marijuana.  Most of my money was required to bond out of jail and retrieve my car from impound.  This occurred on my third day in Florida where after about 9 months of interstate moving I went there to relax and write for the winter.  I stayed in Florida for about 2 and a half months after receiving those charges trying to make money finding work through Craigslist gigs but it was not enough for me to get ahead and become established.  

My daughter’s mother offered on several occasions for me to return to Wisconsin and stay with them while I fought my cases and after I went to my arraignment in February of 2019 I reluctantly accepted.  I stayed for about a week but I was unable to make any money and so I returned to Florida.  I spent about two weeks in Florida before I understood why I left Florida to begin with and returned to Wisconsin where I stayed until about a week ago.  

There are a variety of reasons I cannot advance my work in Wisconsin that goes beyond the warrants I had into things that are difficult for me to articulate and even more difficult for anyone not familiar to understand even if I did articulate them properly.  In addition to an inability to achieve any progress towards my goals I recognized how my presence at the house was imposing on the lives of my daughter and her mother.  Her mother claims she isn’t looking for anyone but whether she’s looking or not she cannot establish a relationship with anyone else who has similar values as she does who would broaden her experiences and enrich her life while I’m there.  For my daughter when she has friends over they cannot use the living room because I was living in the living room.  Generally speaking I have my ambition which is my wife, the advancement of material and ideas which represents liberty and truth.  They have their likes and pursuits which is not that.  I’ve written more about this on my author page.  I had to leave.  

I only had about $800 and my car was on it’s last leg back in June so I junked it.  I’ve been in worse situations before.  Initially I intended to come to San Diego, find a shelter, apply for state benefits and then apply for SSI for Oppositional Defiant Disorder claiming it prevented me from maintaining employment.  The disorder itself is bullshit but I have a history of verifiable behavior including at jobs that would qualify as meeting the criteria.  I also intend to destroy this disorder as well as others through objective morality. 

I quickly changed course.  I intended to apply for benefits, seek shelter, and then work to save money and buy a car if of course none of the articles I have pending in various academic journals are accepted and bring attention to my ideas which should attract funding.  No progress was achieved and I decided that I needed to leave.  With $600 I found a place to stay in Vegas for $300 a month, and bought a plane ticket for roughly $90.  I’m confident I will find work within a few days and I’ll go from there.  The following chronicles my experience in San Diego over the course of a week.  

Sunday, November 8th, 2020

In 2015 when my van broke down in San Francisco, San Francisco health and human services offered shelter the first day I identified myself as being homeless.  I presumed San Diego would operate similarly, but the $27 flight was for Sunday, where the following day was probably in the neighborhood of $100 or more.  I posted an ad on CL to see if anyone had a room or a couch they would be willing to rent me for $15 to $20, for some help around the house, for my company, or the good feelings associated with knowing they’ve helped someone.  I received multiple responses most of which were sexually charged.  There was one from a man named Gerry who said he had an empty guest room detached from the house and I could spend the night there free of charge.  

My first order of business was to purchase a THC cartridge.  This was imperative business to me to take away the stress of being in a new area and figuring a lot of things out on the fly.  The first dispensary I looked up was nearby.  I walked to it and there was no dispensary at that location.  I googled another dispensary that was supposed to be near university avenue and about 3 blocks from I think I15 and there was no dispensary there.  I went to a taqueria and purchased a Torta which was one of the worst tortas I’ve ever tasted.  I called Gerry and he offered to pick me up, my location not being far from his house.  

He was older and mentioned that he lived alone, appreciated the company, and mentioned he recently had hernia surgery and claimed he broke his hip from his dog pulling him over.  There was some other conversation but I noticed an assortment of items sitting on the chair that looked like they belonged somewhere else.  I asked him if he wanted me to move the items and he said he didn’t know where he wanted to put them yet.  He told me I could go check out the room.  

The room was perfect for the night.  A couch with blankets and a fan.  I like a fan to fall asleep.  I laid down for about an hour and then went back to the house.  I didn’t want to just go in the room and not provide some company or assistance as I agreed to do.  In the house the second time he asked me if I partied.  I asked what he meant by that since that term means a lot of different things to different people.  No one has actually ever smoked crack, it hasn’t happened, that’s just partying.  In this case he was talking about meth.  I told him I didn’t do that I pretty much only smoke weed although there are times when I’ve done other drugs (like cocaine) but didn’t really do it. (1)  In social settings and I’m drinking with people who are doing cocaine I’ll do a line with em.  It feels good for a little bit and then I become stupid, and there are people who I used to associate with who liked to give me a line just for those purposes.  A little while later he asked if I wanted to smoke or snort some meth.  I declined.  I presume this was probably an effort to work up towards some sexual end that he believed the meth would have facilitated.  

1: Meaning I’ve done it in social settings when offered but typically didn’t buy or pursue it outside of the company of those who are doing it.

Shortly after I declined the offer he received a phone call he said was from his brother.  He went in his den area and when he came out he said he had to go fix a furnace at an apartment.  I went to the guest house and relaxed for a little while.  A few hours later he texted me he’d be back in 5 minutes.  Probably an hour maybe a little longer after that I texted him to ask if I could use the bathroom he told me to come in.  I used the bathroom. We exchanged a few words and I told him I appreciated him letting me sleep in his guest house, it really helped to save the money. 

Monday, November 9th, 2020 

I don’t remember the exact time I left but I believe it was about 7:30.  I just remember wanting to get to human services at about the time they opened.  I went to the 7/11 which was about 4 blocks from his house, purchased a water, a string cheese, and something else I cannot remember.  San Diego HHS is not like San Francisco HHS.  They do not place people in shelters and they don’t immediately do an interview and provide you an EBT card like they do in SF.  I filled out an application and was told I would be receiving a call for an interview later in the day.  

I went to the library located near 28th and Ocean something, which was a street not near the ocean.  I thought the library was the building on the corner so I went to the park which was next to the building under construction.  While I was waiting for the call I began working on SCA.  The phone eventually rang and the woman on the other end conducted a preliminary interview and during this time I revealed that I had misdemeanor warrants in Wisconsin which disqualified me from receiving general relief.  General relief when I was in SF was only $60 a month so I wasn’t too disappointed.  She said it didn’t affect my Calfresh.  At the conclusion of the interview she told me someone would be calling later in the day to schedule an appointment.  Later I received a phone call from the same number.  I picked up the phone but there was nothing there.  I presumed the call dropped.  I called the number back but it didn’t accept incoming calls.  

My next challenge was figuring out my sleeping situation for that night.  I went to the old town station and discovered my day pass granted me access to the trolley.  The trolley isn’t a trolley in the traditional sense like San Francisco or Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, it’s a train like they have in most cities.  As I entered the train there was already someone laying down which increased my confidence in the idea.  In Denver the police do not allow you to sleep on the trains.  This was one positive for San Diego.  

It was difficult to fall asleep on the train.  It seemed like as soon I was able to make some progress towards entering actual sleep transit security would wake me up for my pass.  Then I’d scan and go back to sleep.  Most of the time you’re not actually sleeping you’re just laying there with your eyes closed trying to become comfortable enough to go to sleep.  You may get a half hour to an hour of actual sleep per session.  

My sleep schedule was divided into sessions from about 8pm to 12am when the train stopped running and then about 4am to 8am after the train resumed operation.  In those 8 hours I might sleep two hours at most depending on assholes and asshole security who would wake me up to check my pass multiple times as if my day pass could somehow expire in the same day.  

My first night after the train stopped running I had a conversation with a guy who was really into heavy metal and looked just as into crystal meth as he was into heavy metal.  Isn’t to knock him, I don’t look down on anyone for what they do to cope with their situation in life so long as how they do it doesn’t interfere with anyone elses liberty.  Absent balance in morality.  He told me about a dispensary called Klover where they had high quality products.  We had other conversations but I don’t remember what we discussed.  

Later a man came over telling me he was Honduran and asked if I could look up the direction to his house.  His name was Mario and among his stories he was a boxer who grew up in Mexico, his father was Italian, he had been all over the world, and a whole lot of other shit that I couldn’t definitively say was false, but most of it definitely wasn’t true.  At one point in the conversation he said you know because I’m Mexican, and I said I thought you were Honduran.  He laughed and was like ohhhhh knowing he was caught in that initial lie but it was just entertainment.  I appreciated his company to pass the time.  

Tuesday, November 10th, 2020 

I went to HHS to explain what happened with the second phone call that dropped.  The woman at the counter looked up my case and told me I had a phone interview scheduled for the 12th at 12:30pm.  

After this I went to father Joe’s and filled out some paperwork to take a shower.  Next was storage.  There were multiple storage locations listed on the paper.  The first one I went to was not the storage I was looking for.  They did long term storage and I was looking for accessible storage where I could put my clothes up and drop off my coat for the day.  This storage was located on 20th and commercial.  A man named Chris went through the paperwork with me.  I almost didn’t proceed with it because the woman told me I had to go through orientation at 10:30 and I didn’t realize it was already about 10:15.  I almost cancelled because I didn’t want to come back.  That storage had a huge impact on my comfort.   I also became acquainted with the Neil Center that I originally went to to charge my electronics.  

I think I began riding the train early and may have done some editing of SCA on the train.  

I rode the blue line instead of the green line this day and there was an issue towards the end of the running time where a train was pulled out of service and a replacement had to be brought in to complete the route.  This train ran until 1:30am which was good for me because it meant I only had about 2 and a half hours instead of 4 hours to wait for the next train.  In that wait I had a conversation with a man named Marcus who smoked a little weed with me as we listened to the other guy on the bench next to us play his music.  He had some decent tracks on that play list, Dayton Family Shadows, and a few others.  I remember that song because it isn’t a very common song.  

Wednesday, November 11th, 2020 

By now I’ve basically been up for 48 hours.  I sleep but I do not sleep.  I wake up prior to my alarm going off on the trolley.  I should say I looked at my phone and saw that my alarm was set to go off soon so I decided to put my contacts in and proceed with my day.  A man sits down in the seats across from me and is making an extremely annoying sound with his mouth.  It isn’t some habit or trying to clear his teeth it is seemingly done intent on bothering and antagonizing.  I mimicked the sound adding some exaggeration to it.  I don’t remember what I said to him but he asked if I had a problem.  I said no, I didn’t have a problem until you sat down making those unecessary mother fucking noises.

He started saying thank you lord and some other Christian nonsense that implied he was restraining himself from escalating the confrontation through the power of his deity.  He stopped making the noise except for a final 2 times which he did just prior to exiting.  Then he contradicted his piety by getting up abruptly, scuttling his feet as if he was going to rush me.  I watched out of the corner of my eye and was unimpressed with his effort to intimidate, hoping he would have because then I would have been justified in whooping his ass.  The contradiction is if you are acting in your faith by not escalating and then you make an effort to pretend like you’re going to escalate intent on intimidation you cannot be sincere in mercy while trying to cause fear.  Yes I would have liked to whoop his ass because as I mentioned, the act seemed intentional.  

I went to the neil center to charge my electronics.  Storage was not open because of veterans day.  

I was waiting on the benches on the greenline.  I was actually writing something similar to this, reflecting on the few days I’d been in San Diego.  The transit police asked me if I was catching a train.  I defensively told them I did but I was waiting because it was a peak time for passengers so I didn’t want to crowd the train for the regular commuters.  I had a day pass which he checked and I told him I can either wait here on the bench or I can get on the train.  He told me I should get on the next train.  

In this situation with almost no sleep in the last few days, having called the two shelter numbers on the human services handout and neither having answered, I decided I didn’t have enough problems at the moment and wanted to see if I could fetch another.  I thought about it and I didn’t believe he had the authority to tell me to get on the train since I had a pass.  I thought my pass granted me the right to be there.  As he walked back into the waiting area I approached him and told him I wasn’t going to get on the train.  He told me I was being detained for loitering.  I asked him what the ordinance is?

The ordinance states if 2 trains pass while someone is waiting they can be cited for loitering whether or not they have a pass since the act demonstrates their intent is not to ride the train.  His reasoning for why he could cite was incorrect as he stated you said on camera you weren’t going to catch the next train.  It doesn’t matter if I say I’m going to violate an ordinance I have to violate the ordinance through act otherwise the act of stating I’m going to violate the ordinance doesn’t constitute a violation.  However, I was still in violation since I could presumably be shown to have been waiting at the stop for more than 2 trains.  

This occurred at about 5pm on Wednesday where the last real sleep I had ended Monday morning at about 6:30am.  I’m about 60 hours without sleep minus maybe 3 very low quality hours when I would actually be sleeping over the last few days.  Later that evening I had another incident on the train where I consider myself to be the asshole for how I approached it.  It was near the end of the night for train service.  Blue line leaving the international border I was the only one on the train and one person entered the train.  They must have had a video game hooked up to a portable speaker.  It sounded like Golden Axe and was extremely loud.  After a few minutes I said you want to cut that mother fucking noise down?  The person did.  I immediately realized I probably could have achieved the same result with a less aggressive approach, but heading into hour 70 without any rem sleep will do that to you.  

The train stopped running and I was waiting on the bench at Santa Fe station.  Some person who also happened to be homeless walked a distance from me and started yelling aggressively at me, asking “what you want to do”.  I get up and tell him something along the lines of I’ll beat your ass, I didn’t say shit to you, you better go on is what you better do.  I said I don’t play with you motherfuckers like that.  While this may seem inappropriate, it’s near 1am if not later, do not threaten me.  If I would have escalated the confrontation into something physical even this I wouldn’t count as inappropriate because when you threaten someone you are stating intent to deliver such imposition and invite that imposition upon yourself.  

Jammal came over by me a little bit later.  He was at the Neil Center earlier in the day.  He was being interviewed for his intake and the staff said “don’t tell me to shut the fuck up”.  It was puzzling because Jammal was just standing there, calm, not looking like he had told anyone to shut the fuck up.  When we were talking he said the sound of her voice was irritating him and he did tell her to shut the fuck up.  He had a cigarette he shared with me and another person who came over by us.  I gave him some men’s daily gummy vitamins.  

Thursday, November 12th, 2020 

I took a shower at Father Joe’s and I went to Neil center where I learned that if you’re there in the morning at 8am there is the potential to get a shelter bed. 

I received the call from human services on schedule.  I had to send a picture of my ID and a screen shot of the charges I still have warrants for in Wisconsin. Shortly after she called me to tell me she was approving my EBT and I could pick up my card at human services anytime before 3pm. 

I went to human services and after making seeing the woman at the desk I was given a ticket and had to wait until the card was completed and my number was called.  While I was waiting there was a woman in wheelchair with a dog who was crying.  On a previous occasion I offered to push her in the line but she declined the assistance.  Another woman who I exchange a few words with knew here and talked to her.  She said people were following her.  It was likely a figment of her imagination, but after saying it was someone who was across the street her friend went over and talked to the person who the woman in the chair said was following her.  When the woman walked past me I told her I like that in you that was some stand up shit.  She smiled and said thanks.  Even if the man across the street who probably wasn’t following the woman in the chair, seeing him confronted makes her feel better in showing that someone cares about her and maybe to settle her mind about the perceived stalking.  

I spoke with her after that.  She brought up a woman who was laying on the sidewalk across the street saying she didn’t understand how a woman can get like they because she had a pussy.  I said yeah that definitely has market value, and I think the same thing when I see women holding signs.  She asked what I meant?  I told her the amount of time invested for the amount of money you get out doesn’t make sense and she understood that.  I almost went into a lecture on how all relationships are prostiution, costs of courtship, costs of time, time and energy being true currency among human beings and using these truths to compare the act of prostitution to traditional relationships.  I didn’t go that way.  

She mentioned she was going to go home and cook a fat steak and relax.  If I was so inclined I probably could have gone home with her but I’m not parasitic.  Had she offered I would have accepted that invitation and smashed whatever was left to smash.  I’m sure she had been a prostitute at some point.  Pimps, prostitutes, and those who understand morality objectively are among those who take the position that we take.  

After I obtained my EBT card I went to 11th and C street to go to a dispensary.  There was man walking and another man ran up behind him and lunged towards him yelling.  My first thought was I wish that mother would come do that shit to me.  Then again  I don’t know if they got a history with one another that caused him to do that.  Then near the other side of the street he did it from the front to a woman, and I really wanted to beat his ass.  There was a member of the transit police who witnessed the act and she didn’t say shit.  

I yelled this an example of money in politics.  A clear example of a private interest influencing public policy to serve its interest over the interest of the public.  We don’t have to pay police officer wages to have a public security force operating as a branch of the police with San Diego city jurisdiction who focuses on transit enforcement.  This could have the added benefit as serving as a training ground for new police officer as opposed to putting people out into the field who have no experience.  

You cannot provide a service and make a profit for less than it costs to provide the service without the profit, unless you’re squeezing your profit out of labor, and even then that model could be mirrored in a non-profit environment.  In paying private security to protect a public asset you’re paying more for less security.  If transit enforcement was done by an agency under law enforcement they would have jurisdiction to secure the surrounding area.  You’re also ensuring that the men and women who do do an excellent job of transit enforcement are paid less than they should be, and trapped with little opportunity for advancement if they stay with the company.  I presume the business model is sustainable, and that means there is room for the transit enforcement to get paid, and for the public to pay less for more security.  I’m sure the company is very supportive of the politicians and the one private citizen who serves on the MTS board. 

It isn’t socialism because the public has the right to hire its own security force to serve the public’s own interest.  The same as private companies often hire their own security if the security required isn’t extensive.  Socialism would be starting a public company that competes in the market against private security companies, or passing a law that only the government can provide security and taking all the existing private security companies assets.  Something I mention because people will say allowing the next contract to expire and creating a public transit enforcement agency under the tutelage of the police is socialism.  It’s not.       

I’m on the green line on my way to buy a cartridge and at a stop this dude yells a bunch of shit through the back door and pulls the cover on what I thought was a fire alarm. (2)  I’m trying to get some real thc in my life for about the first time in 5 sleepless and stress filled days.  Everybody else on the train including the 100lb blond chic who was standing in front of him (who could get the dick) they had some place to go.  I was closest. I jumped from my seat and rushed him intending to punch him.  When I got up and moved towards him and said something along the lines of what’s your problem he backed up real quick.  I would have been right in doing it, based on what I believed was his intent to impose on the time of myself and everybody else on the train.

2: Later I discovered it was the emergency door release.  

I’m trying to sleep on the train and there was someone on the other end yelling loud talking very aggressively.  The train reached its final stop and everyone got off except for me and him.  I didn’t have my contacts in so I couldn’t see.  At that time I was so tired I wasn’t even thinking too much about it.  I put on my shoes intending to fight him.  This wasn’t just because he was doing this and I was trying to sleep, it was because I felt it was intended specifically to not let me sleep.  It wasn’t something that was just happening and I happened to be on the car I was on.  As I finished putting my second shoe on two transit officers came on the train and removed him from the bus.  Without force.  

The train starts back up and the lady who appears crazy sits down in the seat in front of me or the seats in front of those seats.  She starts banging a plastic bottle on the rails, like she’s practicing a drum solo.  This time I put on my shoes for a different reason.  I get up and get off at the next stop and hop back on the next car.  

I listen to her sometimes when she talks to herself and as those things go she isn’t that bad.  Her stories make sense regardless of whether they’re true or not.  Her C&E assignments to objects is still functional, even if the stories are based on some misinterpretation of fact.  Meaning she has issues with assignments of truth.  This is based off of a few clips I’ve heard, one of which had to do with a man but she paid all the bills and what she said after that made sense with that which I’ve paraphrased.  

Like many of them she needs attention and opportunity.  How are you going to tell someone about needing to address their mental condition and expect them to take it seriously when they’re sleeping on the fucking street?  When their whole day even if they did have opportunity revolves around trying to maintain basic necessities in their life?  I also heard her say therapy was a crock of shit, which surprised me because she didn’t strike me as someone who would use that term.  Not only because she was black and I don’t think I’ve ever heard a black person use that phrase, but also because she was black and I never heard a black person use that phrase.  I think she’s right based on some very casual distant impressions from therapy, but also the results I see  and inconsistencies in people who have been through therapy.  The point is I would have liked to talk to her but she’s yelling shit that made it difficult to talk to her.  Probably my second day there I was walking about 50 feet from the 7/11 at City College Station and she opened up the door and yelled rapists and some other shit.  I didn’t take it as if she was talking to me, but I don’t take risks with people potentially putting that word on me.   

The train I was on stopped suddenly and I had to find my way outside of the train station and take a bus downtown.  The bus put me near City College Station and I needed to go to Santa Fe to wait for the greenline to start running.  I got on a train at City College Station.

There was a large man in the back talking loud to himself.  He smacked his face and said “she smacked me in the face”.  I understood that he was not part of the shenanigans, he was just in his mind speaking out loud.  We had a conversation and I don’t know if it began with me speaking with him or him speaking with me.  I wish I remembered the whole conversation.  He asked me if I had a GED.  I told him yes, in the house of corrections in 2000.  Then I realized I shouldn’t have introduced those objects to him for which he has no point of reference.  There were other situations when I did better.  He mentions an object and he knows what that object is, and I associate other objects with it, which builds his understanding.  He asked me if I ever got a detention in school.  I said I think everyone has probably got a detention.  I don’t remember the other parts of the conversation and there were not many more, but it reminded me of how I would talk to some people in San Francisco.  They may say something that doesn’t make sense or that is just off and I wouldn’t try to respond to the whole assertion or dissect and refute it, I would take something in what the said and say something about it.  I didn’t know what I was doing at the time.  Wherever the conversation would go I’d follow it where they took.  When I got off the train he threw up a peace sign to me.  That felt good especially after the night and week I was happy to know that someone who probably doesn’t have a whole lot of conversations like that felt good because of my attention.  I needed that shit.    

A man came up to me while I was standing near to the last stop for the blue line across the street from Santa Fe Station.  He asked me if I saw a guy come through on a scooter.  I told him yeah about 10 minutes earlier but he was moving pretty fast.  He must have been doing about 20mph on it.   He introduced himself as Richie.  He told me had $16,000 but didn’t want to claim it because he makes bad decisions.  I figured he was full of shit.  There were two points I didn’t make about him saying he needed to make better choices.  The first is that most of his choices are based on his present circumstances, where he has opportunities to make better choices with $16000 than he does with whatever money he’s presently making that goes into probably whatever drug makes him feel good.  Second, in order to make better choices you need different anchoring values and perhaps new values.  If he’s smoking hard he has to have something that makes him feel better than smoking rocks that smoking rocks interferes with.  If he doesn’t have anything he likes better than that why wouldn’t he continue to smoke?  And if smoking doesn’t interfere with whatever it is that he values more, than why would he stop smoking?  Most of what people say is more important to them isn’t actually important to them, it’s perceived as being popularly important, so people say they want to quit using drugs because x y and z is important.  Then they keep on doing drugs because that feeling is greater than the feelings they derive from x y and z.      

Friday, November 13th, 2020 

I went to the Neil Center, very tired, now on 96 hours with a few hours of shitty sleep, (although on Thursday I did sleep better for about an hour where I was completely out).  The first half it was eerily quiet and I had the cartridge I smoked that relaxed my body, but I was still very tired when I showed up at the Neil Center sometime before 7.  I was going to get there at 4 to make sure I was the first person in line for the shelter but the green line going in that direction would be the first one that came so I decided to catch it to try to get another hour of sleep in.  The security guard with the beard who does his job extremely well, with the right mix of being casual, helpful, and seemingly genuine in concern and compassion for the people he’s dealing with told me I can go in and come out at about 7:30 or 7:45.  I just wanted to know where to stand so I said so I should be right here right now?  He said “you should be”, and that’s where I was at and I was the first one on the list.  I was very disappointed when she said there was no shelter beds.  

Subaru donated blankets and the Neil Center distributed them.  I decided to take the Subaru blanket and go to the park I was at my second day in San Diego.  It was a relaxed park in a hispanic neighborhood and when I was there the first time people were laying out on the grass and on the bleachers.  I mention it was a hispanic neighborhood because other than the south side of Milwaukee, most hispanic neighborhoods are smooth.  Hispanics are inconsequential racists.  By that I mean, hispanics tend to be racist in ideas of superiority and preferential treatment towards one another, but the preferential treatment towards one another and feelings of superiority does not mean they treat other people badly, they just favor each other.  This is a very general statement, where there are probably more hispanics who do not have an ethinic bias, do not have ideas of ethnic superiority, and there are probably some hispanics who treat people poorly based on race.  

I went to the bus stop on I think 16th and market to catch the 3 to the park.  While I was waiting a woman was revving her engine and then the car was lurching forward.  At first it seemed like she was holding the break and revving the engine and then stepping on the brake.  Then she was revving the engine and the car wasn’t moving.  I thought her transmission wouldn’t go into gear.  I asked her if she wanted me to push her across the intersection so she could park the car on the side of the road.  She made some response in the affirmative.  I pushed her across the street or nearly across the street while I watched my bags.  When she was nearly across the intersection that we were blocking off during the opposite traffic’s greenlight she put the car in gear and sped off.   

I was sitting down on 12th and Imperial and a man with college flyers in his hand approached me and asked if I was interested in a job in fiber optics.  I’m somewhat familiar with the work having worked at a home depot for two weeks and there were guys doing the work that this work sounded like it consisted of.  I told him I was interested.  He asked for a number to give to his boss and told me his boss would call me on Monday.  I never received that call but at the time it was a good prospect.

I needed to finish up the new version of SCA I was working on and I couldn’ do it without sleep.  I remembered I saw an ad offering rooms for about $45 and I decided I needed to spend that to get the sleep to finish and submit the advancements I’d made in SCA.  

I was waiting for the orange line at City College Station and Ritchie came up to me and told me he might have a job for me at the laundry 13 an hour.  I told him I just received another offer but if that didn’t pan out I’d work in the laundry.  I performed “shit shaking” in the house of corrections, where we separated shitty mental health care clothing, so I could do whatever laundry they had.  I also ran the dryer which was an industrial dryer.  I had to be brief because the orange line was coming that I needed to catch to get to that hotel and I did not want to lose time in that mfer.  

On my GPS it showed the cross streets that she gave me were fairly close to the orange line.  So I decided to walk.  I came to an intersection where there were 2 lanes of cars turning right.  The light turned green and I began to walk across and the first car had to stop after he was ready to make that turn, and then there was a second lane of cars and he had to stop.  One of these mfers had an intercom hooked up to their car.  They said thanks for waiting asshole.  I was tired retorted with uncharacteristic soft lacking enthusiasm fuck you.  He was clearly wrong, pedestrian has the right away especially on a green light.  Him and the other cars are the ones who needed to wait.  

I head across the next street and this time I have a walk sign.  This bitch speeds around the corner and almost hits me.  I yell what the fuck are you doing bitch?  I’m pretty sure she said she was sorry.  

I’m right around the corner from Kenwood drive and Campo.  There was nothing there.  I called the hotel and the woman told me I had to go down further.  I walked to the next lights.  I went to an atm because I wanted to pay in cash.  Then I took the bus the rest of the way.  The issue was there are two Kenwood drives on Campo, one is a small residential three way and the other is a large intersection.  

The room was decent and I felt good the following day.

Saturday, November 14th, 2020

During my time in San Diego I was asked frequently for cigarettes and a few times for money.  Under most circumstances when I have money coming in I don’t mind sparing a dollar here or there.  The feeling of helping somebody exceeds the feeling that could be gained from the substance sacrificed.  However, when I don’t have an income it adds up so I didn’t give too much of shit to people in San Diego, unless of course it was someone I was in conversation with, then I’d look out especially since they’d typically look out for me with a hit of weed or something along those lines.  

After sleeping I remembered when I left the airport there was a food court that was pretty much empty and seemingly no one checking to see who was supposed to be there and who was not.  I stopped at a Burger King and used my EBT to get the 2 for 6 whoppers but the seating area was closed.  I went down the block and was eating my whoppers.  An old homeless man came by and asked if I had some change he could get something to eat with.  I told him I bought these with EBT.  Then I offered him the rest of my first whopper that I only took a few bites out of and he accepted it.  

I went to the airport, finished SCA and submitted it to Cognition Journal. 

After finishing SCA I went back to Sante Fe Station.  While I was waiting this dude who said he went by bear tried selling me some jewelry.  I declined but he struck up a conversation with me and smoked some weed with me.  I gave him a water.  He had just came into some merchandise he was trying to sell and told me how he got it.  I told him he better not be telling people that shit or he’s going to get caught.  It was really stupid for him to tell me because he doesn’t know anything about me, I could have been the police.  

I’m laying down on the train and this dude gets on the train and periodically beats on his seat.  I say hey man, you need to keep beating on the chair like that?  He said I’m beating to my music.  I say something else to him and he says why don’t you sleep at home?  I tell him because I don’t have a home.  I tell him you beat on the chair just because you see me trying to sleep, you spend your life trying to fuck with people because you’re a bitch in life.  He said he was an asshole.  I wanted to whoop his ass so bad.  I get up and stand a few feet from him.  I was thinking about hitting him but not too seriously.  I was waiting to get off the car even though he didn’t hit the chair again after I addressed him.  He was scared and said what’s up to his guy across the train, as if I was going to hit him, him knowing someone on the train would deter me.  I didn’t have my contacts in so I couldn’t see his guy real well, but by the time his guy would have got there he’d have been starched and it would have been me versus his guy and that’s probably much too tall an order for the outline of the person I saw.  It was after this that I knew I had to leave San Diego, otherwise I don’t see anyway with the way people were playing that I didn’t catch a battery case. 

And now I am in Vegas. Sunday morning I found someone who was willing to rent me a space for $300 a month. Then I found a plane ticket for 49 dollars to Las Vegas that ended up being about 90 dollars with a checked bag and tax. In less than 24 hours a found a day labor service I’m going to begin working at tomorrow, and a moving job I should be starting this weekend. The moving job is for a foreman position. I talked to the owner today who knows I know the business and will likely hire me as a foreman after having a chance to see me work.

It hurts to work because I have articles I want to write and my work should be funded. I have an article I want to write about homelessness in San Diego, an article about why people who come from means become drug addicts, as well as others. I’d like to add to the Covid-19 Media Project. Instead my days will be spent sweeping, digging, picking up garbage, and eventually wrapping, stacking, and driving household items from location to location. This has been my real aversion to working in the last two years. I look at what I’ve done in the last year and these are incredible things. SCA is one of the most significant discoveries in human history, despite it being ignored or failing to receive the attention required for it to be understood. It would be interesting to see what I could do if I had the time and the money to do what I want to do, which is to advance these ideas.