As some one who is often longwinded, wordy, and detailed on nearly any given subject I prefer to be vague in self description, although the seeming complexity of my essence probably requires more than I would like to provide. To a certain extent, the man who people read if my writing was read barely exists off paper. He is brought to life in the right setting but even then he is colored by the flavor of his stylistic values. How does the beholder reconcile the great height and depth of his dynamic?
What do they want to know? How he was formed? How he developed intellectually but still retains the image, speech, and certain remnants of the mindset that preceded that development?
If the product is good what does it matter how the parts were formed or assembled?
I’ve tried to summarize and select details from my childhood and life prior to 28. It is the story of a much neglected child which morphs into a reading of rampage and rap sheet. The only benefit to the reader is the added credibility to studies I cite concerning disadvantage and development or lack there of. However, the detriment far exceeds any benefit as the impressions left by examples of experiences or even general descriptions of periods will leave most with an inaccurate perception of who I was and who I am.
Let’s begin when I began to emerge from ignorance and chaos, when curiosity gave way to study, and study stayed true through objectivity. And objectivity became the foundation, because the goal wasn’t the proving of a position he wanted to make true, the goal was the discovery of the truth, which required him to build truth upon the best available information assembled through the purest lens of understanding, and then having the courage to demolish the truths, ideas, and plans he had erected when they were found to be deficient. It is courage, a courage that is lacking among human beings. The courage to be passionate about being right, and being able to admit you were passionately wrong based on new information or a new understanding.
(Structural Commentary: The paragraphs above describes my inability to summarize my life prior to the questions and I intended the next paragraph to begin with the questions. However, in an effort to briefly mention my childhood and pre-path position I provide some of a summary in extreme brevity. Instead of changing the previous paragraphs I am adding this commentary as to not lose the explanation for a lack of detail contained in the paragraph preceding the previous paragraph.)
It isn’t difficult looking back on my early childhood or my teenage years to my early 20s. I love that little attention starved boy, who endured abandonment, neglect, and trauma, absorbing sporadic bursts of feigned affection as if it was the real thing. The same boy who watched a Phil Collins video “Another Day in Paradise” about six years old and cried uncontrollably during an adult house party. When a friend of the family seen him he asked him “what’s wrong little buddy”? The boy who was moved by the song and the imagery of people hungry and homeless through sobs responded “I feel bad for the poor people”. Kenny responded “we all do, but you don’t have to cry about it”. The boy said “I want to help them”, and Kenny asked him “but what can we do about it”? The boy was too young to know that he was poor, only that he was living with his aunt and uncle who could reach neither his father in Chicago, nor his mother who left to Las Vegas with her boyfriend for months.
As an adolescent he would become more aware of the economic disadvantages of his household, and the social adversity that results from it. Social adversity that he repelled with violence. Although there were few lessons or words from family that held much significance, one sentiment that he internalized and carried with him, was the words of his uncle Fred. Fred, when the boy lived with him, told him to “always be merciful when he fights,” and elaborated on what that meant. “If a guy is down and he doesn’t want to fight anymore don’t keep beating him”. For the most part, he applied these words throughout his life in physical altercations that were too numerous and too frequent for him to recall all of them at his present age.
For him and his peer group, if they had nothing else they had pride, and a big part of life for this group was defense and the assertion of that pride. Orion had honor, empathy, and compassion, which was not always evident to observers from a vantage point removed from his circle, but was present in his decision making and approaches.
After the wild years of his youth caused him to grow tired of frequent incarcerations (6 years total between the ages of 14 to 24) for largely avoidable and unprofitable offenses, as many disadvantaged people do, he capitalized on the drug market, supplying substances that primarily the underclasses use to cope with their circumstances in life. The options are low wage servitude, spending long hour working a job that barely pays the bills and sometimes does not, or selling drugs, robbing, theft, or the exploitation of relationships, which includes both managing people who sell sex and the exchange of behavior by either a man or a woman to reap financial benefits. Different people chose different paths, and I knew people involved in all facets of “that life”.
Rarely are any of these hustles sustainable, with the exception of exploiting a relationship. Like many people who come from where he came from, Orion was only selling drugs to sustain himself until he broke his way into the music business. But then that little boy of 6 years old came calling.
His resale business provided him with the time, and curiosity led him to the questions, which was likely aided by propensity for the consumption of non-fiction related material. Even when he was incarcerated, he reasoned that if he were going to spend time reading, there was a benefit in consuming non-fiction regardless of the nature of it, whereas fiction material served no other purpose than the passage of time. The only exception was religious material which during different periods of his life he didn’t know was fiction.
Why is the world the way it is? Why is he the way is, or the way he was?
When you want to know, and eliminate the American myth bias of your indoctrination it isn’t difficult to discover reality. The world isn’t the way it is because there are well intended systems that are flawed. The systems function the way they were intended, serving the interest of wealth represented through industry as well as a few extremely wealthy individuals, at the exclusion of the interests of the great majority of the people. The world isn’t the way it is because well intended people make mistakes, the world is the way it is because the intentions of these people are not good, and their actions are inconsistent with their sales pitches to the public.
As for who I was, I was little more than the sum of all the experiences impressed upon me to that point, the same as all of you are still little more than that. How can a bad tree bear good fruit? This isn’t to say that people are completely without responsibility for what they are, as ignorance is a product of motivation, and motivation while also significantly influenced by circumstance and the environment also blooms from something innate.
Who I have become began not only because of the recognition of my own disadvantages, or the circumstances myself and so many millions of people are trapped in by the systems in the United States, where without money you cannot create your own opportunity and without money you are without representation in government. Initially I was most strongly motivated by US foreign policy.
It wasn’t numbers only I seen when I read reports, papers, and books, or heard in interviews and lectures, or seen on documentaries and videos. Children die as a result of malnutrition, curable disease, bombs, bullets, and are trapped in dire poverty related circumstances, without clean water, adequate shelter, education, and other opportunities to develop. The cause is US imposition: the removal of democratically elected leadership abroad, unjustifiable invasion, support of puppet despots, the use of international lending institutions to control economic policy, and generally, the denial to people of sovereign nations their right to self determination. You murder, starve, cause to be sick, and deprive my children of opportunity.
Because every statistic I read, every story I hear, every suffering and starving child I see is the same as my daughter. Every mother who is murdered by your bullets and your bombs. Every mother who holds her sick and dying child in her arms without medication, whose hungry child she is without food to feed, who is left to pull her lifeless child’s body from beneath the rubble is the same as the mother of my daughter. And the causes of those things are US imposition.
Every father who is without an opportunity to provide, who returns to his home to find the remains of his family have vanished with the substance of where a crater now stands, who is tortured, and murdered as a result of this global tyranny is me.
I made a decision that I am not going to let you do this anymore. In that decision I looked for the solution and I found the soultion, but only the people of this nation can enact that solution.
In their defense they say we send food, we send medicine, we build infrastructure, mosquito netting, vaccines, etc. It is like bragging that you caused lung cancer but provided your victim cough syrup. It is the same as burning a mans home to the ground and applauding yourself for providing him a sleeping bag. It is the same as robbing a man for all that he has and returning him the most insignificant of his possessions. Much of it is the result of ignorance, but your ignorance doesn’t excuse you from your responsibility because your ignorance is a product of your motivation.
Domestically, you are responsible for your own misery as well as the misery of others. You are tyrants in your preference for a comforting lie to the harsh truth.
In consideration of class, as the resources of one increases so does their responsibility. The working poor which is nearly half the country has a disadvantage in terms of time, meaning their constant struggle to acquire resources provides them less time to think, research and discover truth, which is also unfortunate as their liberation and prosperity depend on knowing the truth. Even more unfortunate is the fact that people who are the subject of systemically imposed disadvantages, are made by the lie to feel that it is their fault. The flag waving and praise causes people to feel as if their situation in life is because of some innate flaw, not knowing they were predisposed to being where they are based on where they started and the system in place.
For those of advantage, they are quick to count it as a mirror of the evolutionary process of natural selection. The cream rising to the top, yet there is cream at the bottom that is never given the chance to separate. There are brilliant flowers that are not given the chance to bloom, talents unrealized in interests undiscovered, crops unfertilized and unwatered, and generally, potential not discovered nor realized. It is no more natural selection than placing fish feet from the shore, and counting the few who made it to the ocean as the genetically superior. Which is to say, luck has nearly as much to do with social mobility as hard work and innate potential. (Previous two paragraphs are excerpts from Liberty and Tyranny)
I am also motivated by climate change as it not only poses the possibility of a threat to the species which I am a part of, but will likely cause the planet to become uninhabitable within a century to a century and a half. The most likely trajectory considering the facts.
The core elements are very simple. Unless carbon emissions are reduced by 40 to 70% globally by about mid-century the concetration of C02 in the atmosphere will rise above 580ppm. If we reach concetration of greater than 580ppm we will exceed 2 degrees Celcius warming by the end of the century, and on our present trajectory we may reach 4 degrees warming. If we reach 4 degrees warming, most of the earth will become uninhabitable, but even exceeding 2 degrees warming will lead to increased warming that cannot be reversed.
Everything hinges on the reduction of CO2 emissions, 40 to 70% by midcentury. Global warming has been a concern for nearly 20 years, finding it’s way into the minds of the public around 2006. So far, human beings have failed to decrease carbon emissions by even 1%, having an annual average increase in carbon emissions of roughly 3% per year. There is nothing to indicate that human beings will are going to make the transistion to renewable energy, and because most are without money to significantly decide production the decison to transition is not withing popular control. It is in the hands of those who profit from the sale of fossil fuels who direct government, like BP who just found a new store of 1 billion barrells of oil in the gulf of mexico.
Every scientific model with the exception of the worst case scenaro includes technology to capture carbon in the atmosphere. Technology that does not exist, will somehow be scaled, implemented, and achieve market value.
The New York Times reported that within 30 years energy consumption globally will be 50% greater than it is today. In 2015 just over 12% of global energy was generated from renewable sources. It isn’t a matter of transitioning to renewable sources based on current energy demands, but implementation that exceeds what we have done thus far and keeping up with increased demands. There is no reason to believe climate change will not end civilization.
We will have decreased areas of habitablity, which will cause migrations, greater contention over resources leading to conflict, increased ferocity and frequency of natural disasters, and the progression of climate change may lead to world conflict, perhaps nuclear conflict that will hasten the fate of this species. Before the masses are crowding the last few habitable enclaves repelled by the security forces of wealth holders represented through industry who chose the fate of the species.
Climate change motivates me as well as foreign policy, social justice, democracy, and liberty. Centers for Economic Planning are the only way to address all of humanities issues.
There was a period of craziness in my life after I discovered. I stopped selling drugs which was a mistake (except in the events that proceeded this decision aided in my development), and I moved to LA in 2014. From there on I attempted to network with organizations with social justice causes, but I refused to fall into their ranks to particpate in futile actions, and they refused to become interested in ideas that will improve the lives of people and transform the balance of ownership, wealth, and power. Since 2014 I lived in LA, San Francisco, Denver, and I am presently stuck in Florida on overblown charges of possession of a small amount of marijuana and THC edibles. (less than 3 grams of marijuana and 4 gummy edibles with the combined potency of 1.5 grams of marijuana)
During this time I have developed legislative outlines to address symptoms in the Criteria for Deadly Force and Enforcement Act, as well as The Homeless Liberation Initiative. More significant than this is I developed a legislative outline for a local democratically directed institution called a Center for Economic Planning, and if realized, it will accomplish the assertion of the previous paragraph, changing the balance of ownership, wealth, and power, by empowering people through money and opportunity. I have also created a system of ideal ethics in liberty. The details of all these ideas are available on or through my website.
Today I am tired. So very tired. I am like a man who has spent 5 years searching for a way out of the wilderness, climbed an innumerable amount of mountains only to find another mountain. It is not the physical act of climbing that saps his strength, but mustering the motivation in the wake of the history that after the next climb, he will encounter another mountain. He reasons that if his life will only consist of climbing mountains, and eventually he dies lost in the wilderness, what purpose does it serve to climb the next? And he climbs alone.
There has been a campaign of suppression and coordination that has contributed greatly to the circumstances I find myself in. Some of it I can explain and some it I have no explanation for how it is accomplished. I have no witness who will admit involvement and I there is no way for me to prove it. It has left me almost completely alone, with only the certainty of the truth, the honor of my essence, and my ambition to transform the unchangeably hideous into something acceptable; and once acceptable it may become unchallengeable beauty.
Even beyond the suppression and coordination, the circumstances I have endured and what I have produced in this endurance is cause enough to dig a 3x8x6.
The labor of the climb as mentioned in the metaphor is the prospect of spending my time surviving and taking the truth and my ideas to the grave, without anyone becoming interested or understanding what could be accomplished. Struggling through life without ever having an opportunity to apply the talents I developed. The greatest issue is not having my positions and ideas challenged, but being contained by the deafening shriek of silence.
And as I have written previously, the gulf that exists between what is and what people perceive to be, is inter-galactic, the distance between galaxies. Reality is facts and logic, but more than this, reality among a species is popular perception, and the facts and logic existing in the minds of most people are impressed from without, and are odds with actual facts and objective logic. This is to say I live in a world of people who are puppets of meat unable to see the strings that form their thoughts, shape their minds, and suggest their ideas. Their logic is like a logic of a dog who performs behavior for a game, pet, or a treat, and like a dog who avoids behavior to avoid the figurative beat. Their facts derive from their affinity to personality and familiarity, a statement becomes a fact because they like who said it and it reinforces something said by someone else they liked.
If they had a shred of the curiosity and critical thinking ability they were born with, or leaned with one ounce of weight on this god given human intellect, they could liberate their minds and see reality. The previous paragraph is merely an effort to describe the containment achieved by the difficulty of communicating with people who have been led into a false reality. And just as it was popular perception the earth was flat, and this was false, the popularity of perception does not cause perception to be true. Finally, most of the adult US population cannot read, and as a minor point of substantiation, the average reading level for adults living in the United States is a 7th to 8th grade level.
I hope this doesn’t cause too much of a distraction from the point I am leading into but it came to me in this moment and seems relevant as an example of erroneous reasoning as well as a myth I’d like to address. My baby mama told me she is going to be taking my daughter to a concert with two of her friends and one of the mothers wanted to go with. She said she didn’t really like the woman who is a big Trump supporter. She quoted the woman as saying of Trump “look at how much money he has he’s got to be smart to have that much money”. To which I explained he came from money and made a fortune in a business that his father already had deep connections in, including political connections.
This is to say and there are social mobility studies that attest to this fact, that money is the best indicator of who will make money, and it isn’t difficult to be groomed to make money having started with money. Additionally, performing a job well or having knowledge of subject isn’t an indicator of intelligence, as people have a propensity for learning tasks and retaining information in models for which there is an interest. Proficiency is determined by interest, and ability is commensurate to desire. Intelligence begins in the void of objectivity, and any attempt to define intelligence will be colored by the aptitude of the one defining it.
A person’s intelligence is not evident simply because they have money, a degree, a title, or do something well. In prisons, ghettos, graveyards, and among the vast swaths of working poor there is intelligence the likes of which has never been seen that has gone and goes un-manifested because of the collective imposition chosen through the systems in place. The greatest asset squandered by this species is human intelligence.
The point I was leading into before we were side tracked by my musings on intelligence is this. I am living in a world that is unacceptable to me. There are no desires that can be fulfilled that will pacify my need to live in a world that is governed by liberty, where the systems and understanding of people reflect those principles. Not love, not fame, not the wealth of Buffet and Gates combined, not the consent of all the woman on the planet past, present, and future, nor perpetual entertainment will provide me with any satisfaction while tyranny reigns on this planet, in and from this country. Not that the subject of those things are outside the range of lesser desires, but my happiness, fulfillment, and contentment can only be reached by progress towards liberation. Progress towards liberation is the proliferation of my ideas, and achieving specific goals, chiefly, Centers for Economic Planning.
There is no indication for many of the reasons I mentioned that I will be able to do this. Only mountains and more mountains. So why do I remain?
I am the embodiment, the physical incarnation of everything I hold dear and that is true. How can I kill that? Of course there is a number of ways lol, but the point is I cannot kill the subject of my adoration. It would be like killing your child. And, I am my child, my navigation through this hell and the shaping and polishing of myself, the discovery of truth, the application of that truth, the development of processes of thought and the abandonment of processes that are truer and more ideal, and I am a major part in the formation of the beauty that I find within myself.
At times I am conforted in meditations of a cold steel cylinder pressed up against the side of my head. The split second of awareness existing as the powder ignites unleashing a deafening roar as the projectile proceeds down the barrel of the gun. Then I visualize the aftermath, sometimes from a disembodied perspective, looking down on my own slumped corpse, a gaping jagged hole like a giant puzzle piece from the fragmented bullets exit wound. Blood spatter, brain matter, and bone fragments paint the broken window. The remains cremated and flushed down a toilet. The lives of most everyone will be unaffected, tempory grief from my daughter and her mother but no one else.
This is not murder by my own hand but by the world that forced it, and the people responsible for the tyranny that exists. In this, not only am I forced to kill the embodiment of that which is good and true, I have to acknowledge that I allowed this embodiment to be murdered by the tyrants. On a much broader level, we recognize that all suicide is collective murder, something I will elaborate on at another time.
I also acknowledge that while there is still breath in my body the possability exists that I can be a catalyst for liberation, no matter how improbable the proposition appears given the present state of humanity.
I will leave you with this, and this is the summary of all that I stand for.
I was at the supermarket with my daughter. It was a few months since I seen her and I was buying ingredients to make spaghetti. She is 13, and when I went to purchase ground beef she told me she isn’t eating meat before and attempted to a make a moral argument concerning the decision. I purchased meatballs which could be separated from the sauce instead so she could maintain her preferred diet.
I refuted the basis of her position on the purpose of an animal. All animals are going to die and what higher purpose can an animal serve than to become the energy that fuels the thoughts and actions of the most intelligent species on this planet and as far as we know, in the universe? Something interesting to think about, what I am writing now has been contributed to by the energy of beef, and different food effects mood differently. Perhaps if I were a vegan I would have written something different, maybe better, maybe worse, but what I produced a cow contributed to.
I encouraged her in what she wanted to do but told her the decision shouldn’t be a moral decision as an animal can live and die and contribute to human beings, or it can live and die and serve no better purpose than fertilizing the next generation of plant life. Each time she attempted a rebuttal we found our way back to this point, and as gifted as she is at reasoning and debate, she couldn’t overcome the purpose premise. Her point was valid that animals should have a good life, which is not a subject I am sensitive to, but also something that I’m not adverse to. My concern is human beings first and foremost, including their conditions and liberty.
Again, I encouraged her to be vegan if she wanted to be vegan but contended there was no moral or practical basis for being a vegetarian aside from the presumed health benefits. Eventually she said fine “I’ll eat meat then”. This wasn’t my goal and I reminded her of that. Perhaps my absence and church with her grandma prompted her to say “well you’re making me out to be Satan because I don’t want to eat meat”.
I told her: I don’t have a problem with what anyone does as long as it doesn’t impose on anyone else.
That last sentence is my summary. And as I explain in Liberty and Tyranny, and will elaborate on now, imposition occurs collectively, when one supports, contributes, benefits from, or is indifferent to systems that impose on other people. Ignorance is no excuse, because ignorance is a matter of interest, interest is a product of motivation, and motivation grows from something within you.