11/30/2021
Yesterday the man who brought the cattle to the campsite returned. We exchanged greetings, he told me the location where he had water collection or storage was one of two places his cattle could get water. I told him I saw them the previous day and when one of them stepped on (or kicked) something metal (probably kicked the basin) they got spooked and went down the hill, (or at least out of sight). He asked how long I planned on staying up there and I told him a couple days. I actually planned on staying up there until next Tuesday.
This morning I left. At first I went east on 159, it begins going higher up and then descends into this strange area with old town like structures that seems to be mostly abandoned or part time property. I drove through the quasi town of at most 40 properties visible from 159, it was interesting. I had a little bit of storage space left on my phone and was able to record some of the drive through. The road becomes dirt and there is a sign that says the road should only be driven by high clearance vehicles and mine is not. So I decided I’d be careful and if there’s no place to turn around and I can’t proceed; then I’ll back out of this bitch a mile, two miles, or whatever the distance is from where I can’t go forward anymore and the last place to turn around. I went just beyond these four puddles and then there was some standing water in a low area and I didn’t feel confident about continuing through it. I thought I’d be alright but the severity of the consequence harmed an anchoring objective which was being able to drive my car out of this forest, and all the other purposes the car presently serves, so the immediate objective of proceeding was of less value than the anchoring objective. I’m not thinking any of this at the time, my reaction is I’m not fucking with that, and that response is a product of that subconscious risk processing.
This leads to a more significant explanation of sequencing and comparison.
I went north on what I believe is 180. There was a small town called Alma, otherwise just the gas station was called Alma. I remember the sign outside of the gas station. I remembered the word meant something, my first thought was something spanish. I remembered later the word Alma is Hebrew for young woman. I learned this by reading a rabbi’s reply to a woman’s letter, where the word alma means young woman, a word that has been mistranslated in Christian bibles to say virgin in the old testament, despite the word being accurately translated in other places in the bible. He uses a proverb as an example, where the proverb including the word alma is used to describe things that do not leave a trace, in reference to fornicating with an alma, which would be a bad example of things that do not leave a trace since fornicating with a virgin leaves blood. This verse is in a paragraph with three examples of things that do not leave traces, I think one is the trail of an eagle soaring through the sky. That example I provided isn’t part of the verse verbatim, but is the idea I remember from it.
The word alma cues the objective to complete the sequence? Alama means young woman, and this is motion, it is preserved as a sequence, despite consciously thinking about it as a symbol, or symbols represent motion.
I thought Spanish, and had it been a Spanish word, then Spanish would have been the beginning of the sequence, Spanish, alma, the meaning; the same except it was alma, young woman, Hebrew, recalled in that order. Why would it begin with Spanish if alma was a Spanish word? It would begin Spanish because the words I know in Spanish begin from that point, whereas I don’t know any Hebrew words so the object Hebrew isn’t known to produce any effects, except for the word alma. I don’t think Hebrew first, because Hebrew is not an object known to produce any effects, or I don’t know that I know any Hebrew words. I begin with Alma, then remember the definition, and then remember the word is Hebrew in the context of that definition. By context of the definition I mean the word and the definition are known through their relationship with Christianity. Christianity is considered the cause of me learning the word and the meaning.
After stopping at this gas station and purchasing some gas, a monster, chips, and sandwich I turned on the something informed, credible, NPR knock off radio station as I drove.
The first item I heard was an interview of Rakim, an old school rapper who said when the crack epidemic hit, overnight the neighborhood changed and it was the beginning of crime and drug dependency more or less. That was about all I heard from it, shutting it off after the interviewer quoted a lyric that read his favorite subject at high school was lunch.
1st, crime and drug dependency didn’t begin with crack, it began with disadvantaged and trapping circumstances. Drugs are an opportunity for liberation where an individual can obtain time and money if he can A: get some money together or some credit with someone to get a large enough quantity to break down and sell. B Who could save their money to reinvest to make more money, C who had trusted suppliers, D: security, and E: enough regular clientele. Drugs are also a means for people to accept, cope, and remain content with trapped circumstances.
The illegality of drugs is what creates that opportunity for disadvantaged people, which is why I’ve never been a proponent of legalizing marijuana. It takes opportunities for income from the disadvantaged and gives them to the advantaged. To be in compliance with the regulations requires money that most disadvantaged people do not have, whereas when it is illegal it is a moderately low risk high reward opportunity for disadvantaged people. I wouldn’t want to roll that back anywhere even if it could be, instead I’d rather increase the means and opportunity for disadvantaged people to have time and money legally. But in the absence of better opportunity I support the states who still prohibit marijuana possession. Although by this point the market is so saturated from legalization, that even states with prohibition there isn’t anywhere near the money that there was in the 2000s.
The next piece I heard was a neuro cognition researcher from Arizona University who was talking about his study. What he did was created virtual shopping settings that were similar but not the same. The purpose was to measure how people confuse like things for the same thing. He tried to make the research relevant by stating if you’re from a rural area you could mistake some trail for a similar trail if you move. The examples provided generally were mistaking a similar landmark which would cause you to confuse one place with another.
First, I thought this is a great example of pissing away time and money on something that does nothing to advance human interests. To have a study to show people can confuse similar settings as the same setting. I don’t believe it is as acute as the researcher portrays it to be, implying that if there was a Walgreens on a corner that looked similar to a Walgreens in your former town you would become disoriented. Given the similarity of everything around us, if this were a problem you wouldn’t have to create an experiment to measure it, you would have people reporting it and you could study the reports or conduct surveys. More irrelevant research. The experiment itself, where like things are created and presented, probably increases the prevalence of mistaking similar things for the same thing.
If we’re confusing a similar place for a familiar place there are different causes depending on the circumstances and the objective. If we’re talking about a place and landmarks for example, we’re beginning with a navigation objective, where the landmark serves as a cause in a sequence. It may not even be anything as significant as a turn to get to a certain place, it may be preparatory, where the lake is here and then over the hill is the barn and I turn on the next street. If you move to a different area and there is a lake and a hill that reminds you of another setting, you’re not going to become lost thinking you’re in that other setting. Maybe if you have me watch a a video tour of 5 different Walmarts, I’m going to miss key details and mistake one for another, but that isn’t evidence that there is a problem with people confusing similar things for the same things that poses a problem that needs to be studied, to be better understood to find a solution to improve human function. Maybe this is thesis research to get a PhD in the field of the obvious.
Based on his title people will think this guy is smart when his attention has been focused on remembering a lot of horse shit like people confuse similar things as the same things, and conducting self fulfilling research to advance his own career interests. Not only failing to serve a human interest, but failing to meaningfully advance the knowledge in his field even on a non practical level.
In ASC we begin with the objective, where motion takes place within a setting. Seeing a familiar object can cause you to believe said object is that object, where if one object say a landmark is believed to be the landmark from a different place, the effects that object produces will be sequenced from that object. Where, for example, you see the familiar lake, it produces the sequence of the hill, and the barn, and you could think you’re in that place. The problem is even if this occurred, when you didn’t see the barn you would recognize the contradiction and know you are not there.
I can understand how this happens in less familiar places, places you’ve seen in passing which brings me to another identified element of ASC. In an effort to complete sequences, memory is colored. If for example you don’t remember what happened you may fill in the gaps according to what you believe took place to create the parts you do remember. I don’t know if this is what the researcher meant by conducting an experiment through the creation of virtual shopping centers, but I imagine it to be something like I mentioned where you would walk through perhaps with a headset, and then be expected to identify and distinguish between which shopping center was which. If this is what it is or something similar, the participant is going to establish sequences that end in the identification of each shopping center. An example would be the entrance is here, the frozen goods are here, the clothing is here, the bathrooms are here, and that is store x. These are not layers, these are a sequence even if not held together in order through memory. If you have two stores with similar layouts, if you cannot remember a point within a store, the missing point may be filled in to complete the sequence, and since the sequence is similar to another sequence it may be filled in by the point in the known sequence, since it is similar. For example let’s say the details are 1 2 3 4 is 5, and 1 2 3 6 is 7, if you remember 1 2 3, if you can’t remember 6, the most likely missing point is 4 which means it’s 5. Or if you see the entrance, frozen goods, sign, and clothes and this is store one, but store two is the entrance, frozen goods, clothes, and check out, if you can’t remember the check out, remembering entrance, frozen goods, and clothes, may cause you to think store one.
Would have been nice if the interviewer was half competent and asked some questions relevant to the study, like what was the experience for the participants, what questions are they asked, how are the different settings presented, how much time passed between the participant experience and when they are asked to distinguish between the stores. Something relevant to know what the experiment actually is instead of just trying to reinforce the points made by the researcher.
I also heard the station reporting on the new strain of coronavirus and what steps the UK was taking in reimplementing indoor mask mandates. It is unbelievable how far this has gone and is going. People are being controlled by the CDC, and keep consuming propaganda designed to ensure the perpetual sale of vaccines and other industrial advantages produced through the hyper concern over a virus that is not a danger to the lives of a great majority (near totality) of the population, in the neighborhood of 99%. Does the public know that covid-19 wasn’t the first version of coronavirus? That roughly each year sometimes more or less frequently there were variations of coronavirus. The difference was they didn’t name them and advertise them to the public prior to covid-19, they numbered them, hence the title covid-19. There will continue to be variants as have been recorded through the previous years, but now they’ll be named and marketed to the sensitive herd.
It reminds me of something I wrote about in the covid-19 media project, where Anthony Fauci said even without a virus like coronavirus in circulation people should never shake hands. People are taking advice from someone whose idea of a risk to health is shaking hands without a scamdemic. His portrayal of the risk of covid has definitely benefited him personally in supporting the narrative that is beneficial to the media in attracting attention to coverage, and politicians and the interests they represent. I was at Walmart in Las Cruces, NM, and as I stated, I was in the store probably 2 to 3 minutes before I saw a person who wasn’t wearing a mask. You go to El Paso 40 miles away other than people working in service no one was wearing a mask. Based on the amount of people in Las Cruces Walmart who were wearing masks you would think people in El Paso would be dropping like flies. Of course that’s not the case. Just surprising to see since I thought that stupid shit was done after the vaccine.
I have one more entry to write that will be more substantial but it’s 11:03 so I think I’m going to write it in the morning. I beat an old Nintendo game called Shingen the Ruler that I’m going to break down into the motion that produced that result, in functions. I probably spent over 24 hours playing the game.
12/1/2021
Last night I was at Cosmic Campground. Much different than the previous campsite off of 159 in that 1: there were other campers, 2: I was maybe a mile from the highway, 3: the campsite wasn’t surrounded by trees. I thought the night would be much less intimidating. There were a few things that created concern. 1st, as the sun was going down I heard something walking through the brush not far from the campsite. I also heard a snorting sound. I was able to create a decent campfire that gave off light and I ended up circling the campsite with my knife drawn. I’d have felt like a bitch if I went to my car too early. I feel better circling the campfire like a mad man because I have probably an irrational fear of secluded wilderness areas after dark. Then again this paranoia is probably stoked by smoking marijuanna where the night before in the woods I was much less concerned when I didn’t consume any intoxicants. Then again, I built up some familiarity with the area and this may have contributed to comfort. Sitting near the fire it’s difficult to distinguish the crackling of the fire from a potential predator lurking in the brush beyond my line of sight.
The second issue I had is since there wasn’t much tree cover where I camped there was a lot of wind. I didn’t know there was a lot of wind until the next morning when my chair was blown over. I kept hearing things hit my car. Another issue that I eventually resolved is cars coming from a road in the distance appear as someone walking nearby with a flashlight. Before I figured this out I thought someone was in the woods around the camp. The point being, it took me a while to fall asleep and I didn’t sleep well.
I woke up in the morning and went for a hike. I wanted to reach a high hill visible from my camp. I had to walk up a hill which led down to a valley with a dry river bed which went up another tall hill. I would at least have to go down the next hill and up the next to reach that point, however, for all I know there were more smaller hills to go up and down before reaching the large one. The hike to the point I was at was probably about a half hour at the pace I was going, meaning it may have taken another hour to reach the point I wanted to reach. I don’t have a problem with an hour hike through steep and difficult terrain, I just have a problem with the hour and a half hike back after I just hiked an hour and a half.
Thankfully, after I returned to camp I saw there was a structure off in the distance that appeared to be a bathroom. I was very appreciative of this since I did have to take a shit. After eating and doing my tricep exercises I used the bathroom and proceeded on what I believe is 180 north.
I saw a sign that read Pueblo campsite 6 miles on a turn off. It’s a dirt road. I’m a few miles down it. I found an area that had a campsite and thought it would suffice. Surrounded by trees so I’m sure I’m going to be uncomfortable when the sun goes down. I think I’m within about 10 miles of Reserve, NM. I’m not sure what that town is going to be, if it’s going to be like the town before Alma, or if it will actually be a town. I would really like to stop at McDonalds for some hot food and wifi.
During my life I’ve developed an understanding with bees. Obviously I mean this playfully, not literally. Usually, when I encounter bees I don’t swat at them or run from them. I chill and they buzz around me for a minute and then leave me alone. Me and bees have got along just fine for decades. Desert bees, or these NM bees are a nuisance. My theory is that since I have a blue chair and blue bucket the bees think these objects are flowers since blue is a color that doesn’t appear frequently in nature outside of flowers. If I’m sitting in my chair I’ll constantly have a few buzzing around me. When I set my bucket down there is a group that will congregate around the bucket. But even if I’m not sitting in my chair the bees will fuck with me.
I only heard two stories on the radio and where I’m at now that station has too much static to listen to. The first story was about an Indian (eastern not native) who has made what sounded like a documentary about an Indian reporter or media outlet that is digitally accessible and reporting on stories not covered by the mainstream media or accepted by the mainstream population. They mentioned a woman who was raped but she was from what I think is a certain caste where it is acceptable to rape that kind of women and the police didn’t do anything about it. India is a country where being a woman is a source of disadvantage. A backwards place rooted in thousands of years of an irrational and controlling explanation for existence. That’s their decision, that’s for them to change if there are enough among them who want to change it. I wasn’t very interested in the story, only in as much as it is an example of women facing disadvantages in India, and reinforces ideas that there are gender disadvantages generally. In the United States gender discrimination is not a barrier to opportunity.
The second report was about Arizona teacher hiring. I hope the state is sued by a white woman who doesn’t get a teaching position citing discrimination on the basis of gender and race. The report mentioned they were looking for racially diverse and underrepresented people with bachelor’s degrees, talking about people of color and men. It is illegal to discriminate in employment based on race and gender, and stating a bias based on those criterion creates a prejudice against those who may be qualified but do not meet the race gender criteria, which may be perceived as discrimination.
The woman essentially stated they want teachers who were the same race as the children in the schools they’d be teaching in. This approach does two things. 1st it means they’re not looking for the best teachers they’re looking for teachers who meet a racial criterion. 2nd, it’s counterproductive to the idea that racism is a problem by limiting the opportunities people have during their childhood to interact with people of other races, and interaction between people of different races is the best way to combat the seeding of stereotypes that lead to unequal treatment based on race when those stereotypes are unchallenged by these segregationist strategies employed by idiot progressives.
Now it may seem like a contradiction in that my reflections on the previous story I state that women in the United States do not face meaningful barriers based on gender as it relates to opportunity, and in this next story I point out that Arizona’s teacher recruitment aims are discriminatory. If one woman doesn’t get a job because of the combination of her race and gender in Arizona, this isn’t a meaningful gender disadvantage, where women across the board are facing obstacles in opportunity in their everyday life. It is an exception to normal function and should be dealt with, but doesn’t represent a barrier to the opportunities of all women. It represents the policy of one profession, in one place, that continues to push a racist and sexist agenda in their quest to create a problem (race and gender disadvantage) so they can claim to be the solution. The solutions they push further racial divide and create disadvantage. This isn’t to say I support the ignorance of the right as the cattle minded subscribers of the false political duality may believe, it’s just the only information I’ve had access to is this station.
As I stated yesterday I wanted to write an article on a video game I finished yesterday from my youth. The goal is to use the game to promote functional thinking but in putting together the outline in my mind I’m having a little bit of difficulty in pinning down what I want to accomplish through this article and how to articulate what I want to articulate. I may need to write an outline first. Although this may seem trivial, I believe the video games I played as a child played some role in the formation of my thinking. Video games do not exist today as they did then. Final Fantasy, Gemfire, Shingen the Ruler, the Dragon Warrior series, among others promoted functional thinking in a way that modern games do not. There was a lot of to do this you must do this. Maybe it’s a waste of time but I do have some time to waste so I may put this article together.
12/2/2021
It was colder during the night than it had been on previous nights and the cold continued into the early morning hours at the Pueblo Camp Site. I didn’t want to proceed north where there was the potential for colder weather. I traveled to Reserve to pick up some food. I did a poor job shopping, buying another loaf of bread, more walnuts, a small can of pringles, and two bags of corn nuts. It’s Thursday, I still have 4 days out here but with the second loaf of bread and the time I have remaining it should suffice. I asked the woman if they had any restaurants open and she told me they had a restaurant next to the gas station.
There was only one man and woman, presumably a couple seated in the restaurant. The gentleman working at the restaurant told me he would be right with me and made good on those words. They had wifi and I briefly had phone service. I ordered a green chile and cheese omelet which came with hashbrowns and pancakes. It was delicious, especially since I hadn’t eaten any hot food for about 9 days now. I did have the can of chili but wasn’t able to heat it up very well and that half cooked mac and cheese I ate was not hot and was not good.
I didn’t know where I was going but I headed back to 180 via 12 which is the turn off to get to Reserve. I stopped at the picnic area I stopped at near 78. I took a picture of the map and set a course for the 15 which leads back into Gila forest where there are campgrounds. Thanks to this decision I have some things to write about most of which come from right wing talk radio to allow me to make good on what I wrote previously, that the right is almost as much of a problem as the left. Which is to say their bullshit is slightly less harmful than the bullshit of the left.
I didn’t know Silver City was actually a somewhat sizable town. As I was entering the city I saw a pick up truck that said law enforcement on the side. Shortly after I passed him he pulled out and followed me into town but was trailing behind me a far enough distance that he probably couldn’t see my plate. I saw a sign that required me to turn to stay on 180 and I had to stay on 180 to get to the 15. I saw the officer turning left and would have almost had to cut him off to make the turn so I decided to keep straight. I pulled into a place called Lotta Burger. I would have stopped there to eat had I not had breakfast at the cafe in Reserve.
Had I known Silver City had more than a hundred people and a few shops I may not have gone to Reserve, although at the time I was thinking about just returning to Cosmic. At the same time if I knew Silver City was as big as it is I probably wouldn’t have gone there altogether because of the possibility of an encounter with law enforcement if LE was interested in me because of the emails. I don’t think that’s the case.
I had 4 voicemails. I checked my voicemails and they were solicitations from insurance companies for someone named Carlos. I also received two text messages for insurance quotes, one for Kelsey and another for Carlos. Someone has been using my phone number. I think my website may have also been hacked because my password has changed. I can bypass the word press login by going through GoDaddy. I was also locked out of my facebook for suspicious activity but I reactivated the account. I should have looked at my content on my website but I didn’t do that. I was going to add this camp journal to it but I wanted to get on the road.
In the Lotta Burger parking lot I checked my email and there wasn’t anything from the university presses. After this I contacted Holly just in case Ava tried to get ahold of me and couldn’t over the last 9 days she wouldn’t worry. Holly was in a meeting and asked me to text her. I told her what I wrote here that I was just letting them know I’ve been in a place with no cell service and sent her a picture. Ava would love it out here. I’m not a big fan of it.
I headed up 180 towards 15. I turned off when I saw a sign that said 15 but I needed to turn and then turn again to get to 15. I figured it out when the road became dirt and ended. Once I got on 15 there was a sheriff and another law enforcement officer talking in their trucks. I don’t think I have anything to worry about but who knows. It’s very possible I’m a person of interest for the emails but it wasn’t blown out of proportion where my whereabouts are that concerning.
I headed up the 15 listening to talk radio. I stopped at this campground right off of 15 that is on the Gila River. I dumped out the little bit of remaining grapefruit juice I had. There was definitely something wrong with it. I cut the top off of it to scoop water to take a shower. I grabbed my shower shoes, a change of clothes, towel, wash cloth, soap and this mat and went down to the river. As expected the water was cold. The bottom of the river is gravel and a little muddy looking but when I scooped the water into the jug it was crystal clear. The funny part is, after I finished taking my shower I looked up and there was a house or cabin or something that I was probably visible from. You don’t expect there to be anyone living in a permanent structure out here. The worst part is I was turned away from it and I was bending over to try to rinse the soap out of my ass which would have been fucked up to see from that vantage point. I don’t know if anyone saw me. I’m still here, and about an hour ago a man in a truck I think drove to that location. If you drive down from the campsite towards the river there is a fence that reads road closed. But beyond this fence there is a road and I think it goes up to that house. I saw his truck go down towards the river and then go up to that house so at least he wasn’t home when I was down there.
Just smoked some weed and when it first hits me it usually relaxes me and I’m able to think more freely. I identified my real problem in just reflecting on what I’ve been hearing on these talk radio stations. I shouldn’t say my real problem but the root of my problems. The root of the problem is you cannot sell truth. You cannot sell truth because no one wants to hear it because eventually it harms their beliefs. I know I’ve been explaining this for a while so it isn’t some revelation but to me it is significant just to put it in that simplistic wording. What’s the one thing that never goes up in value despite how short the supply is? Truth.
The last paragraph before I hit the weed I wrote I don’t really enjoy it out here. I was just thinking back to lying to the rancher who told me to enjoy myself out here and I lied and told him I am. This is a good example of a just lie. As I explain in Liberty the Definitive Moral Truth and maybe in the libertyandtruth summary on my website, the use of deception isn’t imposition if telling the truth will lead to imposition on the teller and when the deception doesn’t impose on the hearer. Of course I’m going to tell him I’m enjoying it up there because if I’m not enjoying it up there I’m hiding from something. Whether he believes I’m enjoying it or not doesn’t create any disadvantage for him. I also told him I was planning to be up there a few days, and at the time I intended to, as I stated I intended to be up there a week before I interacted with him. That was accurate at the time since I’m reflecting on the event.
I’m going to begin with the topics on the NPR station because I heard those before entering into a new broadcast area.
The first topic wasn’t very interesting but I’ll comment on it since I wrote it down. There’s a controversy in Phoenix about installing police cameras downtown. The police want to install cameras and there is a faction within the city that doesn’t want them installed. Unfortunately I really don’t know enough about downtown phoenix to have an opinion as to whether or not they serve a public good or necessity. Anytime there is an issue between liberty and security, or privacy and security, this is something that should be put to referendum. If you have riots, looting, vandalism, or just a high level of person on person crime during high turnout events, people may want the cameras as a deterrent to such behavior. I don’t know if Phoenix has those problems or not. But either way, something that impacts the entire city in such a significant way should be put to referendum.
My biggest concern is the purpose of the cameras. If we’re turning the streets of downtown phoenix into the UK where officers are watching these cameras looking for crime, in that situation I think I’d rather my assailant escape justice because there wasn’t a camera and he could not be caught through a conventional investigation, than to live in an environment where there are active eyes watching for crime in public at all times. If the camera footage is only viewed when a crime has taken place this implementation of cameras may be acceptable and sought after by the public. The cameras would have to be implemented with the regulation that they would only be viewed as evidence when a crime is committed, or when law enforcement is looking for a suspect for a crime committed in the area immediately after the crime has been perpetrated.
It was maddening to hear a report about children in a school band who played the trombone in upstate new york having to sit 20 feet from each other in the 4 corners of the room due to covid. Now because of what the children refer to as a mask for your trombone they can play 6 feet apart. They have masks with holes and magnets so they can open the hole to play and then wear the mask when they’re not playing. I don’t think there’s anything more I can say on covid, any more CDC statistics that I can present to make the point that covid 19, coronavirus, and all of its variants, is no more harmful to people than the flu is. Why is this? Because the same people who are at risk for fatal complications from the flu are the same people who are at risk for a fatal outcome with covid. The same people who are not are not. I’ll be touching on this again from the rightwing Vitamin D bullshit. The flu has a higher mortality rate among people under the age of 10 than does coronavirus. The stupidity is astonishing, since children who have a higher risk of dying from the flu than coronavirus never had to sit 20 feet apart, wear masks during practice, or have masks for their trombones during any flu season, then there is no reason for them to do it for a virus that is less harmful to their health.
There was a professor heading some organization to promote the implementation of renewable energy. She said she believed wind power could produce half the nation’s energy. Right now I believe somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 to 7% of the nation’s power is produced by wind. I may be off but not that far off, the last time I looked at the statistics a few years ago wind and solar combined were responsible for less than 10% of US grid electricity. She stated that 60% of Iowa’s electricity was generated by wind which sounds very impressive when you first hear it. After thinking about what does that really represent? Iowa is a state of about 4 million people. The United States is a country of 330 million people, it isn’t that meaningful that 4 million of those people’s energy is produced by wind, because 326 million people’s power is not 60% wind generated.
As for her assertion that 50% of US power can be generated through wind, I’m sure that’s backed up by data taking into account how many wind turbines are required to generate x amount of energy, and the locations for a minimum standard of performance. I don’t doubt the assertion, but we can also generate 50% of our power by putting fat people on bicycles and having them pedal, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. How do we generate 50% of US power through wind? Do you propose we subsidize wind development as was done under Obama, where private funds are used to build structures that become private assets? She’s coming on to give the illusion of meaningful progress, in that 60% of Iowa’s population of 4 million is using wind to generate power, and to pretend she has a solution by stating what can generate power, but not how to make that happen. I’m also not trying to take anything away from Iowa doing their part in transitioning to renewable energy, although if I knew how they reached that, who paid and who benefited I might still be critical.
This next topic is something that I really need to think about. They were interviewing some policy maker from one of the social media giants about their community standards. I don’t have the solution off the top of my head because it is an issue of free speech versus private property, and how that private property being a tool of popular influence, where censorship of what is posted on this public forum (even if it is private property) can steer the population in directions decided by a few individuals who decide what should and should not be censored. There are things I need to think about, but ultimately I want to take away the ability of social media companies to censor what people post on their platforms.
Let’s pretend that Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, Twitter etc were actual communities. Picture a large fenced in area where the members entered and talked to one another and made signs. In this setting the owners of this space could set community standards and decide what signs were appropriate and what signs were not within this fenced in area. People who agreed with those standards would enter the area and participate with others who also agreed with those standards. In that setting you have a private community of participants who subscribe to those standards.
This is what social media is purported to be. What social media actually is is more akin to a provider of material to make signs and then people write on those signs and show them to the public. The signs or posts are written on private property but are essentially public statements and censorship of content is essentially private control of free speech. This may seem a stretch but how do the courts view the content of social media posts in regard to intellectual property? If you quote a social media post in a commercial publication the creator of the post is not entitled to any compensation, because the courts view social media content the same as public statements. A post on social media is regarded the same as someone saying something in public. Perhaps a violation of free speech case can be filed against a social media company for something they’ve censored, and maybe this angle can be used to prevent social media giants from controlling free speech and shaping public opinion through their opinions.
The first show I heard was the Dan Bongeno show.
His show was about the swamp, where politicians are elected to do things and then they write legislation people don’t understand and the bureaucrats appointed, interpret it and act on it, and they have all the real power. Then he takes this argument and moves to reinforce nationalist myths. He states that politicians are afraid to do anything, basically afraid to take any responsibility which is why they write legislation people can’t understand to take credit if it goes right or to blame it on the bureaucrats if it goes wrong. Then he claims this is a problem in the functioning of government because the government was created with checks and balances, where it requires politicians who are strong leaders and want to do things. The idea that the senate, the representatives, and the executive, should all be pushing against one another to do things and get the best thing out of it. That was my interpretation based on the problems he was stating and his segway into checks and balances but he may have meant something different. .
Checks and balances were not a product of creating the best possible legislation or even to protect liberty, the reason we have two chambers of congress is to protect the interests of money from democracy. James Madison wrote “if elections were open to all classes of people, the property of the landed proprietors would be insecure. An agrarian law would soon take place… Landholders ought to have a share in the government to protect these invaluable interests and to balance and check the other. They ought to be so constituted as to protect the minority of the opulent against the majority poor and this body should be the senate.” It was never about checking the power of one branch of government with the power of another, but also intended to fragment popular power to check popular interests and protect minority interests.
Bongeno was referencing one Biden appointment to the FCC who in a different capacity during the Trump Administration said that Fox News was state propaganda. In her confirmation hearing she was asked about this and stated that she made the statement essentially because it was her job to make that statement, or the organization she represented supported that idea and that it wouldn’t bias her performance as head of the FCC.
There are a few things here. The host stated how can such a statement not bias her. I made the case in the previous paragraph that it doesn’t necessarily represent her views, it demonstrates her willingness to do or say anything to effectively do her job. Do I believe that’s true? I don’t know much about her but I’m going with fuck no on that answer. There’s no way she could make such a statement and not allow it to bias her approach to regulating broadcast and other communication.
At the same time the statement isn’t false, and the next republican administration in the white house will make that statement true again. I’m not a regular subscriber to any cable news although from time to time I see the content. It disgusts me because as I watch I know it is molding people’s perception around bullshit and I’m essentially powerless to address the misconceptions. In my book Understanding Political Functions Through Recent Political History 2019-2020 I wrote articles addressing popular issues during that period and was unable to reach anyone. I didn’t see too much negative reporting on the white house during the trump administration, the same as you don’t see much negative reporting on the Biden Administration from MSNBC. Different broadcast news become state propaganda outlets depending on which party is in the white house.
She could have earned some respect if she had even a shred of integrity by saying that. That she saw the angle of coverage of the white house as habitually praising and positive with the absences of anything significantly critical and that’s why she made the statement. Then still say her observation will not bias her enforcement of regulation.
As for the power of the heads of major US agencies they’re appointed by politicians, who are paid to advance the interests of industry. It doesn’t matter if the legislation is opaque and your listeners can’t read it, the political system exists as a forum for industry to decide policy through political investment. Always has been. It doesn’t matter if politicians are writing bills the public can understand or if the policy is carried by appointees heading US regulatory agencies, the people has always been the people with the money. I don’t like how this “deep state”, “bureaucratic swamp is in control” bullshit reinforces the idea that the US has lost it’s way by not following the constitution.
One of my favorite quotes from the constiutional debates was from Oliver Ellsworth who was arguing against importing slaves he said “As population increases, poor laborers will be so plentiful as to render slaves useless.” In the article the Founding Intents in Understanding Political Function Through Recent Political History 2019-2020, I make the point that this in some senses is a fulfilled prophecy. First I’m not comparing modern day working poor with slavery. What I am saying is that economically, if we consider that the minimum requirement to keep a slave productive was to provide food, shelter, and clothing, and today there are people who work jobs who receive food share and other benefits, than slaves have been made useless since it is cheaper to hire someone to work for you, than it is to provide them food, shelter and clothing. Not saying the quality of life was better as a slave, only that conceptionally, an abundance of poor laborers have made slaves useless.
The most telling quote that the United States was designed to be governed by wealth comes from a letter from James Madison to Thomas Jefferson where he writes “The subscriptions (state debt) are consequently a mere scramble for so much public plunder. It pretty clearly appears, also in what proportion public debt lies in this country, what sort of hands hold it, are by whom the people of the United States are to be governed.”
Subscriptions were state notes, essentially debt that had value to the public as currency because it could be used to pay taxes, so people bought and sold in it. The value of these notes was determined by the amount of taxes collected relative to the amount of notes in circulation. For example, if in a year the state issued $1000 in notes to finance the government and collected $1000 in taxes the note would have a much greater value than if the state issued $1000 in notes but only collected $100 in taxes, where only 1 out of every 10 notes is required to pay taxes.
When these promissory notes lost their value some founders and some people friendly and influential among the founders purchased these notes at a fraction of their value from the population who held them, and then in creating the constitution made sure that the new federal government would pay off the states debt that they held. That is exactly what happened and why Madison wrote “The subscriptions (state debt) are consequently a mere scramble for so much public plunder. It pretty clearly appears, also in what proportion public debt lies in this country, what sort of hands hold it, are by whom the people of the United States are to be governed.” Because the notes were worthless to the public, and those with money saw an opportunity to make an investment and ensure it matured. Which wasn’t the only reason for the creation of the federal government but it isn’t much different from what we see today in government. More important than the subscriptions is the statement in what proportion public debt lies are by whom the people of the United States are to be governed. This is more important because it is an admission from the chief architect of the system that they were making a system that would be directed by money. Otherwise a group of people who stood to make a fortune has no consequence on who the people of the United States to be governed by, if the government was by the people and for the people.
This is a big problem I have with the right and their nationalist myths. Most political arguments from the right take place with the deification of the founders of this country, the perfection of the constitution, and everything is about how the United States has lost its way from these good and noble intentions. This isn’t true. The founders would be very impressed with how well power has adapted to remain in the same hands as they intended to have hold it.
As the constitution goes I think the founders did a good job in the bill of rights. I think the US constitution is a document that does a good job in ensuring basic liberty, but we have to remember that that is only 1 part of the constitution, there are other articles that deal with the functioning of government. I’m not going to go into it too far because I’ve already ran long on this point. It’s in the article and in the book I mentioned in this entry. I believe the reason individual liberty was so well protected by the founders wasn’t to ensure that all people had freedom. This is evident by the efforts to limit the expression of popular will in government as well as limiting sufferage. Although there were no property requirements to vote in the constitution as Beard points out in An Economic Interpretation of the Constitution this wasn’t because they thought all people should be able to vote. There was discussion of property requirements but there was no way to reconcile the differences of what was held by those in the north and what was held by those in south, where one may have liquidity in metal or physical assets whereas those in south were possessed of land. Which is why that was left up to the states. To me the reason the founders did a good job in protecting individual liberty was to ensure they were protected from the system they were creating in the event that measures intended to protect the minority of the opulent from the majority poor failed. To protect themselves as individuals from the system they were creating.
I liked the reporting he did on BLM. He pointed out the irony in huge corporations financially supporting an organization headed by trained Marxists, who just issued a statement that people should boycott white corporations for the next 30 days. What he fails to realize is that despite the organization stating it is against corporate interests BLM serves corporate interests.
I’ve written many times that the best way to keep the underclass divided and prevent the achievement of class goals is promoting racial divide. This is actually a secondary point but from 2008 until about 2016 there was a great deal of emphasis on class and this narrative isn’t supported by wealth and industry. Making an issue out of race takes the focus off of class which is the only real significant source of disadvantage in this country.
That’s the secondary point. The primary point is that supporting BLM serves corporate interests in allowing them to associate their brands with race based causes, which causes idiot progressives to purchase their products and use their stores, and republicans will still purchase the products from them that they like. It makes perfect sense that large corporations support an organization that is overtly against their interests but actually serves their interests by advancing ideas about race that create the perception that their support of equality causes are relevant.
He also mentioned that the owner had multiple properties, one he stated was over 7 figures. I don’t know if the 7 figures is accurate but I imagine it probably is. All this cunt is doing with all the resources that she has is thinking about ways she can harm people by claiming to be taking on a cause to uplift her people. So she benefits from all this support, enough to have a comfortable life and she has no ideas to improve the financial situation of her own people? Not statements that all white people should give their money to black people, something practical, achievable, and that serves the interests of black people without harming the interests of anyone else. Or serves the interests of black people while serving the interests of all people. That’s what you do when you’re concerned about a problem. Not beat a drum of militant stupidity to contribute to your own comfort.
I have two more points left I’m going to address out of order because the first is simpler. They’re both simple but this one I’ve pretty much already completed in my head. The first is a supreme court ruling on Mississippi’s 15 week abortion bill. The host, Charlie Kirk I didn’t care for and have a point pertaining to something he said. His guest was a law professor from Notre Dame and although we probably have different views on abortion as well as a number of other things, moral differences I presume, he did a good job of articulating the main features of the case.
I haven’t read Roe v. Wade or the 92 case he mentioned uphold the precedent of interpretation of the constitution. What I remember from what they said and I may be conflating one thing with another, that one of these cases makes a distinction between a fetus that can live out of its mother’s mothers womb and one that cannot, which ultimately comes down to the ability to breath, or lung development. I may be wrong about this detail and conflating one thing with another. I was driving with a cliff or a ditch if I fucked up so I couldn’t listen that intently, or at times my concenttration on what was being said was interupted.
The basis of his analysis is that in order for the Mississippi abortion ban to be ruled constitutional Roe v. Wade must be overturned. He also mentioned a legal term that was discussed which essentially allows an erroneous precedent of interpretation to stand because reversing it would harm the interests of the public in consideration of how things have developed because of that precedent. I don’t know if his opinion is honest or not but he said he believes Roe v. Wade will be overturned and the Mississippi 15 week abortion ban will ruled constituional. Like I said, I don’t know if he believes this or if he makes this prediction because it is presumably what the listeners want to hear.
I’m pro choice for a few different reasons, the first and most important is to prevent children from being brought into circumstances that will most likely produce miserable lives, as well as the detriment it may have on the lives of the parents or parent. I also don’t believe it is morally wrong because there is no imposition taking place. The fetus is not conscious, has no experience, and isn’t harmed, doesn’t lose anything and is’t imposed on in anyway. If your life is so good that the only meaning you can find in it is through your opposition to bringing a child into this world that you don’t have to take care of, who one day you may be saying should be locked up, or won’t give a dollar to on a freeway off ramp, I have this advice to give you: dedicate your life to eliminating the circumstances that cause people to get abortions. Most of those circumstances are money and time related.
As for this case it is in some sense not very meaningful and in another it is. Most people will think I have the priorities backward but they are very much in the right order. It isn’t very meaningful if Roe V. Wade is overturned because what it will mean is abortion will be something that is regulated by the states. If you need to have an abortion you have to go to a state that does it. Who knows that system might be beneficial, California will probably give you a free abortion as a political refugee fleeing gender persecution. Even if Mississippi wins the case the actual impact isn’t very significant to me, and this will create the opportunity for new non-profits to spring up to finance abortion trips for women who can’t afford them in states that have restrictions. Otherwise, I’m sure there’s a guy somewhere practicing Joe Rogan kicks ready to kick women in those states in the stomach for $100.
Being antiabortion is a stupid position and bills like Mississippi’s, will not reduce the number of abortions. It’s just an opportunity for politicians to gain the support of the public by doing something that benefits no one. Mississippi I believe has the lowest median income in the nation, and they’re leading the fight against abortion. LOL. Again, create opportunities for people to have money and have time and you will reduce abortions. These politicians earn a good living preying on stupidity that is often born out of religious superstitions.
The harmful part of Roe v. Wade being overturned is it opens the door on gender disadvantage and women’s rights being under attack, focusing attention on that nonsense. This is more harmful to me than abortion being something that is regulated by the states as opposed to being a guaranteed right by the federal government.
The one comment the host made on the subject I wanted to address is he stated that he believes the constitution should protect the rights of the born and the unborn. This is idiotic on the face of it since who is entitled to be protected by the rights guarenteed in the constitution? Citizens of the United States. How does one become a citizen of the United States? By being BORN in the United States.
Lastly, is the claim that Charlie was making from another guy’s article citing supposedly 142 studies but only quoting 1, that a person’s chances of dying from covid 19 are directly tied to their vitamin d levels. There are a lot of things wrong with this assertion but I’ll address the most important first.
My biggest issue with the right during the covid-19 scamdemic is people like this who undermine the most fundamental problem with covid being used to impose on the rights of citizens and causes all the issues that it has. That covid-19 is not a threat to public safety because it only kills the weakest members of the population, the very sick, or the very old. The assertion that your best chances against covid 19 is to make sure you have high enough vitamin d levels reinforces the idea that covid-19 is dangerous.
This has been my problem with the right throughout. Why are you arguing about the effectiveness of masks? Why are you arguing about that Malaria drug when you were arguing about that? The issue hasn’t changed ever. The proportion of the population that has a risk of dying from covid-19 is quantifiably too low for covid-19 be considered a threat to public safety. Why have they been arguing perimeter points throughout? Because they’re just as fucking stupid as the left they just have different authorities, and different people who think for them. Obviously the creators of these points and premises have to find new things to attract attention to as any media or political entertainment producer does, and the people who like to believe what they say consume it, and repeat it.
As to the assertion itself it’s extremely dubious. 1st the only study he quoted consisted of only about 800 people whose vitamin d levels were known at the onset of symptoms. That’s a very small sample size in consideration of all cases to this point. Second, even if there is a correlation between infected people having better outcomes because of higher vitamin d levels, we don’t know if the outcomes were better because they had higher vitamin d levels, or if low vitamin d levels are a product of age or underlying medical conditions that predisposes people to have poorer outcomes. 3rd what is the age and the medical history of the participants in this study?
In other words, not only is it bullshit because it implies covid is more dangerous than it is in implying that it is a danger to anyone who is infected, it is likely bullshit in the assertion of false causation. What determines a fatal outcome with covid 19 is the ability of your immune system to become engaged against the virus and kill the virus faster than it can use cells to replicate. If you’re not over 80 years old and you don’t have seriously advanced underlying medical conditions you will experience sickness and then recovery.
I’m out of radio stations out here. I’ll probably drive out of here tomorrow. That shower today was nice. I haven’t had to shit in the woods since the campsite on 152 but my ass was tore up from that outhouse toilet paper. When I first got in the water it was only about the middle of my shin high. There were some giant tadpoles sitting on the bottom of the water. When I finished washing up they must have swam off. I wanted to try to catch one.
12/4/2021
I didn’t listen to the whole Dan Bongeno show today, I had a much shorter drive time and it wasn’t as substantive as the previous day. He begins by talking about how Biden is losing in every significant measurement, saying everything the guy touches he destroys. It suggests that the president is more important than he actually is, but more importantly, it suggests that under a republican administration things would be substantially different. We could argue that it would be based on covid alone, but other than international trade, and people losing their jobs over vaccine mandates , most restrictions exist at the state and municipal level. The mandate and federal narrative is significant, and I don’t think Trump would have issued that order that sounds like just passed as a bill, which includes a federal vaccine database according to the Charlie Kirk show.
Of course had Trump taken the time to understand the virus he could have told people the truth about the virus using the data instead of holding press conferences talking about bleach and UV rays. Or talking about the effectiveness of Malaria medicine for Covid. Why? In discussing the necessity of treatment you reinforce ideas about the danger of the virus. This is in part Trump’s failure in promoting important details about the virus, most notably, who has a risk for death if infected. He should have had lawyers assemble the data in a manner similar to how I have done and filed a lawsuit against the governors that issued restrictions on the basis that Covid does not qualify as a threat to public safety since about 99% of the population cannot die if infected.
A threat to public safety to use police powers to impose on the rights of citizens is legal when there is a threat that is a threat to the entire people in an area. For example, if we look at the first precedent where the court reinforced state action to protect itself from a virus it was smallpox. Smallpox was randomly deadly in that anyone who was infected could be killed by it, therefore it is a threat to public safety because it poses a threat to 100% of the public. When we look at covid, the way it has been presented is that 1 out 99 people who are infected die and it could be anyone even though it is more likely to be someone who is sick or elderly. This isn’t true.
The following I copied from the mini book Covid-19 Media Project preface
September 15th 2021
Total Covid-19 Deaths: 667,000
Age Range Total Deaths No Underlying Medical Condition Fatalities
0 to 17 Years Old 439 1
18 to 29 Years Old 3212 3
30 to 39 Years Old 9240 9
40 to 49 Years Old 23,501 94
50 to 64 Years Old 110,689 1340
65 to 74 Years Old 147,568 7525
75 to 84 Years Old 176,763 26,514
85+ Years Old 187,342 54,329
There were 17,008,087 cases of covid-19 among people aged 0 to 39 and there were 12 deaths among people in that age range infected without an underlying medical condition. The chances of a person who is under 39 years old dying if infected with covid 19 are about 1 in 1.4 million. In the article when I say the healthy population interacting with one another when there were restrictions is a matter of sickness and recovery the numbers support that conclusion. People aged 39 and younger represent 52.2% of the population.
There were 4,714,501 cases of covid-19 among people aged 40 to 49, and there were 94 deaths occurring in this age group among people who did not have underlying medical conditions. A healthy person aged 40 to 49 has a 1 in 50,154 chance of dying if infected with covid-19 or .05% chance of death.
There were 6,291,163 cases of covid among people aged 50 to 64, and there were 1340 deaths among people in that age range without underlying medical conditions. A healthy person aged 50 to 64 has a 1 in 4694 chance of dying if infected with covid.
There were 2,310,603 cases of covid among people aged 65 to 74 and there were 7525 deaths of people without underlying medical conditions in that age group. A healthy person aged 65 to 74 has a 1 in 307 chance of dying if infected with covid 19. Which is to say that even for a person who is 75 years old without underlying medical conditions that chances that they will die are exceedingly slim.
There were 1,176,504 cases of covid among people aged 75 to 84 and there were 26,514 deaths. A healthy person aged 75 to 84 has a 1 in 44 chance of dying if infected with covid, or about 2.5% chance.
Finally, we have people aged over 85 who represent the bulk of people who have died of covid-19 without underlying medical conditions. There were 654,197 cases of covid among people aged over 85, and there were 54,329 deaths, roughly a 1 in 13 chance of death or 8%. People in this age range are at risk of dying of anything due to immunosenescence. As we age our bodies lose the ability to fight off viruses and other infections.
For the general healthy population people aged below 74, which represents 93.1% of the population, the chances of dying from covid-19 are so minimal as to be almost negligible. For the 4.9% of the population who are over 74 they have a 2% chance of dying if infected, and the 2% of the population who are over 85 years old have an 8% chance of dying if infected, but this group has an elevated risk of dying from everything.
A person committed to the biased opinions of media personalities, academics, and politicians who serve the interests of industry will say but what about people with underlying conditions? Then they’ll falsely assert that most Americans have underlying conditions, therefore covid-19 is still a threat to public safety.
In the material I cite a CDC sample that is about 2300 people who were diagnosed with covid-19 and have underlying conditions. Of those with underlying conditions who were hospitalized 93.5% survived which tells us that not only is the general healthy population rarely at risk of death if infected with covid, most people who have underlying conditions are not at risk of dying if infected with covid-19. I’m not going to cite the study here as I’ve already cited it in the book.
Recently I found a hospital survey that separated patients with covid-19 into categories that consisted of those who had 0 underlying conditions, 1 underlying condition, 2 to 5 underlying conditions, 6 to 10 underlying conditions, and 10 and more underlying conditions. Of the 80,000 covid-19 deaths in the sample, only 2087 of those deaths were people with 1 underlying medical condition. Which supports the conclusion that a person’s chance of death doesn’t necessarily increase dramatically with an underlying condition, but the type of condition, how advanced that condition is, and how many conditions that condition is coupled with are much more determinative.
Although this is a year and a half of covid-19 data I’m citing, these conclusions could and were reached in April 2020, and could have been known much sooner based on Chinese and Italian data. Trump should have known these things instead of playing king with the issue. Then we’re not where we are with new variants being used to induce or maintain fear and to sell vaccines. Coronavirus 19 was supposed to be special. Coronavirus didn’t come into existence in 2019, Coronavirus has existed for a long time. It changes annually or more frequently but it wasn’t named Delta or Omnichron (what ever the fuck it’s called) and used to maintain this narative that is advantageous to a few, but a detriment to the many.
This is to say it’s a product of a broader culture consuming bullshit, although the difference between Biden and Trump does make some difference in the advancement of certain industries interests like the pharmaceutical companies, and how the advancement of those interests have interfered with the liberty of Americans. I don’t deny that, but fundamentally, outside of covid the difference between parties is how prioritization of industrial interests will be decided.
This was followed by a montage of all the stories Biden told about himself that were not true. I’m guessing he probably didn’t do the same thing when Trump was president and stated outrageous lies. Probably not but the other side did. This legitimizes a problem that isn’t a problem. The problem isn’t just Joe Biden, and it isn’t just the democrats but it’s also the republicans. On the subject I saw a front license plate cover that read vote, and a large banner in Truth or Consequences that read vote republican. Therein lies the problem, neither party represents any interest other than the interests of industry, so to vote for someone that doesn’t represent my interest, but may not harm as much as the other guy is something I can’t do. Should I write myself into every election and receive 1 vote just to say I voted? There’s no reward so it cannot be worth the effort. It’s just to avoid useless sacrifices.
Bongeno talked about his show being rooted in facts, and to a large degree it probably is. It’s probably true that Biden was lying about things he was quoted as saying, it’s true this month’s job numbers are lower than expected, but it isn’t true that these things are significant or important to the lives of most people. Unemployment rate is 4.2%. I don’t know how much the workforce participation rate has fallen and may reduce the significance of that number, but that is a metric he isn’t losing in. Believe me, I hate Biden, but I don’t hate him much more than I do many other politicians. Obviously Bernie, AOC, and the other radical progressives I hate more because they earn a living preying on the hopes and stupidity of largely poor and disadvantaged people.
A big reason it’s tedious to cover mainstream news and mainstream talk radio is because it isn’t always about something being true or false, it’s also about the underlying implications of what is being stated. Bongeno reinforces the perception of the christian nationalist, which not only reinforces all the lies of the perception, it implies that the only thing preventing this country being even better than it already is, is the other party. That’s not even remotely true.
Another falsehood he promotes is he says Biden and the democrats are pushing a Marxist agenda, they want control over the means of production. They want the government to own all the businesses is essentially what he’s saying. If there were any truth to this he’d have something to reference, like the government is opening its own Gov-Marts to compete in the marketplace, or the government is expropriating Walmart’s business and properties, the government is nationalizing oil, something of this nature to support that assertion. It’s fundamentally wrong because by his own admission, industry directs the party. As I mentioned previously where he points out that BLM is headed by “trained marxists” and industry supports BLM the difference is that the narrative is advantageous to their branding, and in both examples industry is not financing its own destruction, it’s making investments in promotions and policy that serves its interest.
As pointed out by both Bongino, and Charlie Kirk, 80 house republicans voted for a bill that included a vaccine mandate and a federal vaccine database. Why did these republicans do that? Either because they were supported by industry that will benefit from these measures or they have been solicited and will be supported by industry to support that bill.
Bongeno mentioned there was 10% waste and fraud with the covid stimuluses, and uses this as an example of government inefficiency which goes on into some Milton Freedman statements I will address. 1st the Covid stimulus was necessitated by the manipulation of the public’s perception of covid, and the consent created for the government’s response. Not related to the point but a point worth expressing. The trade off in efficiency is layers of verification to ensure there is no fraud, which costs money and takes time, or a less secure approach to ensure the people who need the money can get the money which will result in some fraud. 10% doesn’t seem like a very high number considering the need to get people money when they weren’t allowed to work, or operate their businesses. Waste is a very subjective term and I’d like to know specifically what it refers to. I think the real waste is in people who received money who did not need money. How much of the fraud that took place wasn’t prosecuted?
This is his example to push the general narrative of the right that government can’t do anything right, that government is bad. When we look at waste in government it isn’t waste in government, it is bills created intent on fulfilling the unspoken terms of political investment. If we give you money, support the pacs that support you, our lobbyist tell you what is in our interest and you serve that interest in policy.
I’ve been away from legislation for the last few years so I’m going back to Obama since I’m more familiar with some of the things he did. Why was there no public option in ACA? Because insurance companies would have lost a significant amount of business as consumers purchased comparable coverage for about 80% of the cost. Why was there a mandate for people over a certain income level? Because this serves the interest of insurers to have more customers and more healthy customers since those who do not have insurance and can afford it are generally healthy. Why was there a voucher program instead of a public option? Because using public funds to buy people insurance from private insurers benefits insurers. Inefficiency is directed into spending by industry, not a product of politicians being careless with money that isn’t theirs to purchase products they’re not using.
Bongeno quotes Milton Freedman that a buyer who is buying something for someone else with someone else’s money, doesn’t care about the quality or the cost. The quote doesn’t acknowledge why someone is buying something for someone else to begin with. It has nothing to do with spending taxpayer money and having a stake in the quality or value of the product. The politician isn’t spending other people’s money on other people motivated by his own purposes, he’s spending other people’s money on other people to benefit his industrial sponsors which means inefficiency in spending is inherent for a purpose not specified in Freedman’s propaganda statement the 4 ways you can spend money.
Another example was the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. There was a great deal of inefficiency in that spending as well, where private security forces were paid many times what US service members were paid to do the same jobs, and where private security forces were contracted at ridiculous mark up. Contracting in general was exorbitant. I remember a report about non-military subcontracting that was taking place during the Bush Administration and probably into the Obama Administration. Where a company might get a contract to dig wells for small villages and would charge $50,000, then subcontract the well out for $10,000, where the well was then subcontracted to be dug for $1000. Why? Because whoever was actually doing the work doesn’t have a multibillion dollar company and the means to participate in investment politics to be considered for a bid to build the well. It isn’t the government not caring about spending other people’s money on other people, it is the government ensuring that public funds reach the hands of the people who paid for them to be competitive in and win elections.
We’re not talking about an individual with other people’s money buying things for others. We’re also not talking about your listeners having to pay for anything as you imply. I don’t support large spending bills either because the necessity of creating an advantage for industry is inherent in every bill carried forward. The programs that are aimed at addressing the issues of the poor, who I consider to be the bottom 50% of income earners, service the condition with an industrial interest attached to it; it doesn’t create opportunities for these individuals to increase their income. The point is the United States has the privilege of being the dominant world reserve and trade currency. Meaning as the global economy grows there’s an ever increasing demand for dollars, and countries maintain their reserves primarily by purchasing treasury bonds. Every year those bonds mature from the previous how ever many years of purchases and they buy more to ensure they have the dollars for future reserves and international trade. Increases in spending typically do not require tax increases.
The inflation we’re experiencing is a product of covid spending, where a little bit was distributed to a lot of people. On top of this the amount of goods and services produced decreased. Obviously increasing the supply of money by providing money to everyone and decreasing the supply of goods and services both cause money to be less valuable by increasing the proportion of money in circulation to the amount of goods and services available. The point is that increases in spending do not require tax increases, and even the most ambitious tax increases will not significantly reduce debt over time or deficit spending, and although increases in deficit spending can lead to inflation as is the case with the unnecessarily made necessary covid stimuluses, it doesn’t have to.
The narrative he’s pushing is that the government is inefficiently spending your money, and the government cannot spend efficiently because they don’t care about the money they’re spending because it isn’t their money, and they don’t care about the product because they’re not using the product, and this is a big problem. What he fails to add is that government is not an entity unto itself, it is essentially executive management of public interest and assets, but it only acts on behalf of certain elements of the public. It isn’t the government making decisions to spend money efficiently to serve the interests of the broader public, but the government representing the interests of industry and spending inefficiently for their benefit. This is a great myth on the right about government, that government cannot spend efficiently, or even operate efficiently. The fact is the government is very efficient at representing the interests of industry, under different priorities depending on the party, and part of that efficiency includes inefficiency in spending to ensure the investments of private companies in politician’s mature.
When a citizen puts his 50 on a candidate that is support. It’s support because it is essentially anonymous, and isn’t used as leverage for policy. When a corporation or a pac supports a candidate it is understood that certain policy is a condition of that support, and such policy will benefit the industry of that corporate sponsor. It is an investment, not support. Some politicians justify what they do by accepting biased explanations for the policy, like the policy helps the business, but grows the economy, creates jobs, will lead to more investment etc. Ignore the interests of the masses while distributing their money to your friends who fund your campaigns.
You also have a few people who are popularly funded. These politicians never propose anything that is beneficial, practical, or passable, but instead enjoy a 6 figure salary for performing political rhetoric that people like to hear. The radical progressives who haven’t done shit and are not going to do shit, and even what they would do, wouldn’t be beneficial. This is something I mention because in order to appease their base they hold press conferences about new bills they’ve been working on to maintain credibility among their base and to grow their popularity.
I began this paragraph by stating I didn’t drive far and only listened to the beginning of the show. That was true but after writing that first paragraph I decided to change locations to listen to some more talk radio. This is where the additional content from this show came from with the Milton Freedman quote. I caught pieces of the Charlie Kirk show and just the tail end of an NPR broadcast.
I left a campsite probably a few miles from the Lake Roberts campsites. I definitely didn’t want to stay there, it was almost a resort type atmosphere, at least compared to the seclusion of the other sites I stayed at. The southern portion of Gila Forest in NM is much more popular than the north western area.
I came upon a gas station in the town of Mimbres. There was a sign that read we’re wearing masks again. I guess a sign that read we’re a small group of idiots would have been too forthright. Sure, maybe this is a town of primarily old people with health problems, which mind you, doesn’t mean that they would die or likely die if infected but are a group with a higher risk for a severe outcome. If the mask works it works when you wear it. If it doesn’t work when you wear it, why would you require me to wear it to provide me service? And if it doesn’t work, why would you require me to wear it to begin with? Sure we can argue that containing droplets is more effective at preventing transmission than blocking droplets but the ultimate point is this: If you didn’t require people to wear masks during flu season and I can almost guarantee you did not, and this virus only kills the same people who are susceptible to dying from the flu, then why is this a requirement now? It’s a requirement because you’ve had almost 2 years to understand why you’ve made the behavioral changes that you have, and instead you’ve absorbed opinion supported by dramatic impressions and still don’t know why you’re afraid of what you’re afraid of. That’s why you could have written on the sign we’re a town full of idiots or this store is owned by idiots and achieved the same effect. Or the same way I read we’re wearing masks again and I thought a store owned by idiots; if I would have read a store owned by idiots, I probably would have thought I bet they’re wearing masks again.
I walked to the door and thanked a woman exiting who held the door for me. After a few steps in the establishment I heard in a small quiet tone “you have to have a mask buddy”. I said stupid ass shit, walked out the door, spit on the ground to show my disapproval and left without purchasing anything. Morally, you have to respect the rules a person makes in and with their property even if it’s stupid. I hope others who pass through there don’t patronize their gas station.
The next gas station I reached was right after 25. I don’t remember the highway I took to reach that point but I was about 5 miles south of Truth or Consequences. I bought food and gas there not really thinking Truth and Consequences was an actual town with a Walmart and fast food. I’ve been to towns in NM that are just a gas station or sometimes not even a gas station so I like to get service when I can.
I didn’t expect to go that far thinking I’d run into an acceptable campsite before that. I did need oil. I proceeded to Truth or Consequences and stopped at the Veterans Memorial parking lot. I had cell service so I was trying to figure out where I was going to go. I saw there were a few lake campgrounds but from the pictures they looked popular, so I wanted to avoid that scene. I set a course for SpringTime campground.
Before leaving I went to a Chevron where I planned on purchasing oil. As I walked up I saw two people approaching the entrance both wearing masks. Then I saw a sign that read no mask no service. I just said retarded fucking people got in my car and drove off.
I was trying to take a route that avoided 25. I don’t know if there are any legal ramifications from the paragraph within that email, but if there are, avoiding the interstate until I’m ready to deal with those ramifications seems important. I went the wrong way and ended up on 25 before my GPS came back on. I stopped at a Walmart to get some oil and I purchased a few food items. Never what I should purchase and never enough.
After I finished my shopping I checked my oil and I was about a quart low, which is about what I expected. Added 3/4th of a quart. While I was adding the oil or finishing adding the oil a man from a minivan about 15 yards away asked me to come over to him. I don’t know what hustle he’s on but if you want something you can come here. I commented to him as much and asked what was up. He said “you know how to check oil”? I was suspicious because everyone knows how to check oil. He offered me money to check his oil and I told him don’t worry about it, I’d come over. I checked his oil. I wiped off the dipstick and showed him that you want to make sure your oil level is within the hashes. I put the dipstick in and he was probably a half quart to a quart over. His oil was also black and it looked like he could definitely use an oil change.
He told me he just changed the alternator and I looked down and saw a new alternator installed. Looked like it was kind of a bitch to get to. The airbox is right over the top and the alternator and belt system itself looks like it’s down a little ways. You at least have to remove the air box, there’s no guarantee that the belt tensioner is accessible from the top, the bolt may be difficult to access because of the space between the alternator and the wall in the engine compartment, and probably at least 1 bolt you have to get from underneath which is a little bit of a reach. I only saw it for a few seconds but this is what I’d anticipate, I could be wrong.
I told him I had to replace my alternator a few weeks prior, or actually a few months prior. It was an easy job. The alternator is right up top, the belt tensioner and all the bolts are accessible from the top, and the belt itself is easy to put back on. Since the water pump is on the balancing chain there’s only tensioner, idler, crank, alternator, and AC compressor.
He offered me a beer for my time but I told him it wasn’t necessary and I didn’t mean to come at him the way I came at him when he called out to me. I’m from a place where there’s usually something going on when a stranger tells you to come over here, plus also my natural aversion to someone thinking they’re entitled to my time and energy. Not that I have a problem helping, I enjoy helping others but if you think I’m going to do something for you because you’re telling me to, I have an issue with that and won’t do what I may otherwise do for you, if not for the expectation, or a subtly demanding approach.
I missed the first exit listening to the radio which cost me about 14 miles total. From the paved road this campsite is probably 15 miles or more along gravel, dirt, and rocky roads. For those of you who do not know the 2012 Chevy Malibu has 7 inches of clearance, so I have to drive very carefully along these roads. A dirt, gravel, or rocky road is not flat, often there are portions with huge gouges where if one tire goes into one of these gouges the bottom of the car is going to hit the ground. In one spot the gravel build up from the tire tracks on the road in the middle was higher than 7 inches so I had to put a tire on the gravel and drive on the high spot. In other areas there are rocks in the road that are higher than 7 inches and I have to get out and move the rocks off of the road. The point being is I have to be very careful driving along this 15 mile stretch that probably takes 40 minutes or more to traverse.
I was arriving late well after 5 pm and it gets dark early. I reached the sign that read Cibola National Forest and next to the sign there was a clearing with rocks assembled in a circle for a campfire. I stopped there. I went to gather wood and I saw a deer jaw. A little further I saw the rest of the deer’s head that didn’t seem to be decomposed, suggesting that the head had been detached fairly recently. I gathered a few pieces of wood and when I passed the deer jaw I saw the ear had been ripped off. When I made my way back to the fire ring I saw the other deer’s ear. A strange scene.
If it were a poacher (there was a shotgun shell casing at the campsite) it’s unlikely he would detach the head, rip the jaw bone off, and then cut the ears off. It was most likely an animal, probably a bear but there is no blood trail from the body, the body was nowhere around the head, jaw, and ears. More importantly the ears were in seemingly perfect condition as if they were cut off. I’d imagine that if an animal, maybe not the animal who ripped off the head had pulled off the ears, that there would be some damage to the ears, bite marks, stretching of the tissue beneath the fur. Whatever it was or even combination of things, if we think maybe an animal dragged the head away from the body after a bear detached and consumed the remainder, and then someone came along the head and decided to cut off the ears, I didn’t want to stay at that place. It was also right at the entrance to the forest which albeit a few miles from the highway is still as close as I can be to civilization without being in civilization.
As I proceeded I saw a truck off in the distance. I was at a point where there were turnarounds presumely used or produced by the rancher in the distance or potentially someone else so I pulled to the side so he could come through. He pulled alongside me and I told him I was going to Springhill campground. He told me I’d make it as long as I stayed on the main road. He mentioned he lost a dog and told me it had his number on his collar. He asked me if I’d keep an eye out for it and I said yes sir, he thanked me, and I told him he was welcome.
I was coming down a hill and saw a man who was camping on a clearing on the side of the road. He had a nice set up, large tent, I think an ATV, maybe even a generator. About 150 yards down the road there was another clearing and I decided to pull off there. I can’t drive on the road when it’s dark and I only have maybe 20 to 30 minutes of daylight. The campsite is also located within the forest where the low light is even less penetrative.
This morning I saw the rancher again and I proceeded down the road not long after him. I arrived at the campsite and there are little red structures where a tent, tarp, or sleeping bag can be set up and there is protection from the elements from 3 sides. I drove up to one site that did not have a structure but I initially thought I would have to park on a hill and I don’t want to sleep on a hill. I don’t know if it matters but I feel like if I sleep on an incline it creates more work for the body to move blood to my feet and it will impact my quality of sleep. I went to one that had a structure but it seemed too close to another camper. I went to the one that was in the front and parked. There was a brick I had to move as I pulled in. Then I saw there was a collection of campfire wood and presumed someone was at this spot and left to explore or something. I noticed there was a place to park between two rocks that was on flat land and settled into that spot to finish this entry I began last night.
There is something moving through the forest right now. I’ve already seen 4 deer in the short period of time I’ve been here. Definitely don’t want any problems with any bears. I’m finishing this entry then I need to eat, gather firewood, and get my push ups in.
I started listening to Charlie Kirk when he was talking about the growth in the homicide rate from 2019 to 2020. What he was trying to do is fix causation to an unprecedented increase in the number of homicides to the riots around George Floyd, and others from 2020. He cited other high increases in homicide being after the riots in Ferguson, and after the assassination of Dr. King. Then he brought on a guest who wrote an article about how George Sorros unlimitedly funds district attorneys that don’t prosecute crime and how this has had an effect on homicides.
There is one statistic that correlates to rises in homicides and this is the gini coefficient. For every point that the gini coefficient rises there is typically .5 increase in the homicide rate. (I have to double check that stat from cite LF) They cut to a woman, I think a recently elected district attorney somewhere funded by Sorros money what she thought was responsible for the rise and she said the pandemic. The guest said he almost laughed when he heard this.
It isn’t the pandemic persay, but it is the response to the pandemic. First we have the underlying causation in the growth of inequality as people in the middle and lower classes are prevented from working and have less, while those who are affluent have what they have and some continue to grow despite the state imposed restrictions in 2020. Then we have the restrictions themselves, the lack of opportunities for social interaction, and other irritants caused by the irrational response and these factors can cause people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise do.
He goes on to talk about how changes in prosecuting crime and the riots are responsible for the increase in homicides. He provides one example where someone was released for committing a crime and ending up killing someone. We’re talking about an increase of 5000 homicides, a total of 21,000. I checked the numbers for what must have been 2018 and it was 17.500, meaning there must have been a reduction in 2019 if he is accurately reporting that there were 5,000 fewer in 2019 than 2020. I needed the number to compare the proportion of LGBT people who were victims of homicide compared to the general population. It was an article highlighting the media’s effort to make it appear that trans people were more likely to be the victims of homicide than the general population. They’re not, they’re the victims of homicide significantly less than proportionate than their numbers in the general population, despite many tending to have riskier lifestyles than the general population.
The point is we experienced an uptick in homicides in 2020 after a reduction in 2019.
I agree that not prosecuting certain crimes or reducing the penalty for certain crimes will encourage people to commit those crimes. They brought up a good example of the lootings in California where 8 people were charged and all were released, many without having to pay any bail. Approximately $350,000 in damages. Just because these defendants were released without bail doesn’t mean they’ll face no penalty in prosecution. Maybe they won’t face any significant penalty, I don’t know what they’ve been charged with. As I commented previously, if the charges are steep enough the defendants will tell on other people involved. Of course another component of this which I am typically against is if they are in jail they’re more apt to provide information to receive reduced sentencing recommendations from the DA. So that will be a missing component in this prosecution.
Even so I agree that the severity of the punishment is a deterrent. The difference is no one is getting no bail releases for homicides, or citations, short jail sentences, fines, community service or warnings. If you kill someone you’re going to prison for a long time. This has no bearing on the homicide rate because the deterrent hasn’t changed.
As for the asserted correlation between the assassination of Dr. King, the justified but controversial use of force against Micheal Brown, or the justified but controversial use of force against George Floyd, and the responses to these events being the culprit you have to provide evidence. Where are the 5000 homicides that took place because of these riots? If you can show them you prove your point, otherwise your point is invalidated by a lack of evidence. If the homicide rate is a product of criminals being released and then killing people, where are the 5000 examples, or even a few thousand examples to prove that point? Can you produce 3000 examples between the two causes you claim is responsible for the increase in homicides in 2020? You cannot, which is why you’re on talk radio and huge portions of the country are stupider everyday as a result of your content.
He also talked about the democrats hijacking words. What was interesting, this is true but the examples he provided are not. One example is a Sorros supported PAC that is used to funnel money to elect district attorneys in local elections called something like Safety and Justice but I may be mistaken, I didn’t write it down. Then he went way back to Jesse Smollet, where before it was discovered he made up an incident about being a victim of hate crime, he said he liked to believe there was still something called justice.
These are not examples of how democrats hijack words, where in one instance Justice is used in a PAC to elect DAs who will be biased in their prosecution of crime. Yes, that is using the word Justice to represent political action that will be inherently unjust, but from the perspective of the left which is true to some extent, justice is also about the correction of disadvantages that motivate crime. Most crime is the product of circumstances that cause people to commit crime. However, those circumstances are not racially exclusive, they exist according to the means of the household that an individual is raised in. And not prosecuting crime as it should be prosecuted is not how that injustice is corrected. Mercy for the tyrant is torture to the oppressed, where the excusing of crime punishes the victim.
The democrats and the left in general especially the extreme left does highjack words. We see it all over the place where things are called racist, sexist, or homophobic that do not meet the definitions of the words. In doing this, popularizing the application of these words to things they are not, these words take on popular meanings, and begin to represent things they don’t represent by definition.
I don’t know if this was still the Charlie Kirk show or not, the channel had static by the time I reached these segments. There was a man with an English accent with another man. There was a report that the parents of a school shooter who killed 4 people were being charged with 4 counts of involuntary manslaughter each. I have strong opinions about this that I cannot assert with strength because I don’t have any information about this event. I think I’ve been in the woods since it took place.
Presumably the DA is trying to charge the parents because the parents are responsible for the teen having access to the weapon. If this is the only basis for the charges I think and hope the parents beat the charges. The first point I’m approaching from a place of ignorance. I don’t know of any law federally, or if Michigan has a law that requires parents to lock up their guns to prevent access to those guns by minors. If there is no law requiring this there is no case. If there is a law I could see how failing to comply with that law could constitute reckless negligence that contributed to the death of those people. Involuntary homicide, manslaughter charges, there is usually something in the statute that pertains to recklessness or negligence that a reasonable person could expect could cause death, but without the intent to cause death.
If there is a law stating that guns must be stored inaccessible to minors they may have some legal trouble. Even if there is a law it is still a difficult case because without some pretty overt signs, it isn’t reasonable to believe that a child is going to steal your gun to kill other people. This is evident by the fact that although seemingly common in the coverage of young people expressing their discontent through murderous rampages, those who do still represent an extremely small fractional percentage of the population. Which is to say a child having access to a gun is no indicator that a child would steal the gun to kill others. For parents, even in the presence of some pretty overt signs, parents have such strong biases about the goodness of their children, or at least a bias that prevents them from believing their children are capable of committing murder, that it isn’t reasonable to believe their child having access to guns would result in their child using those guns to harm others. If there is a law that guns must be stored in a way that makes them inaccessible to children within the household the parents may still beat the cases, and if there isn’t they should.
I think the prosecution is largely politically motivated, or career motivated. Then again, maybe the parents knew more than I know they knew and there is evidence that they knew he was going to do this. I doubt this, and think it’s more likely they’re being charged for not storing the guns where the child didn’t have access to them.
While the DA may believe that this may serve as a deterrent to future school shooters it may produce the opposite effect. Obviously, if many of these children had open and positive relationships with their parents they may not become so completely alienated that they vent their discontent in this manner. A child who is mad at his parents and has other social issues he or she is facing may take their parents’ guns and shoot people to destroy the lives of their parents. Charging the parents may be popular among some segments of the public, but I don’t think it is right and I don’t think it will serve as a deterrent to future mass shooters or mass killers.
The last issue they mentioned was how Kyle Rittenhouse is still being labeled a white supremacist by the media. I saw a Democracy Now headline before I went camping before he was acquitted that read Trial of the White Supremacist and the accusation is disgusting. They project his motivation for being in Kenosha armed was in pursuit of an opportunity to kill people who were demonstrating for racial justice, and now here’s evidence that the system is racist and acquits white supremacists of homicide.
First there was nothing from the officer’s behavior that indicated their treatment of Jacob Blake was motivated by race or anything other than his behavior and their lawful obligation to take him into custody. Prior to being shot he was told to drop the knife. He was possessed of a knife in swinging distance of the officer where had he chosen to swing around and stab the officer he could have done this at any time. This means when he was shot he was an imminent threat to produce great bodily harm to the officer or death. If you are stabbed or sliced in the leg and your femoral artery is severed you can bleed out within minutes before help can arrive. Or if you’re hit in the neck and your jugular is severed you may experience a similar outcome. Bullets are not magical immobilizers, meaning even if the officer could shoot Blake before he struck had he began to swing, Blake could have still proceeded to the target while being shot. The use of deadly force was lawful.
Kyle Rittenhouse with other concerned people, some from Kenosha some from surrounding areas were armed and attempting to defend property from an irrational looting mob supported, and probably largely organized from outside of Kenosha. In those efforts he was chased and assaulted by an assailant and fired his weapon to defend himself. The person who is assaulting him poses an imminent threat of death or great bodily harm in that assault because if Kyle is disarmed by the assault he will be beaten by the assailant and probably others or potentially shot by his own weapon.
After this Kyle ran again and was pursued by others who attacked him. One kicked him, the other grabbed the barrel of his gun after attempting to hit him with a skateboard and the third pointed a gun at him. Obviously all these actions are a threat of great bodily harm and death which makes Kyle’s use of force justified according to the law and according to common sense. You have a person who at every point was trying to avoid confrontation running away. He didn’t even attempt to intimidate the crowd by pointing the gun at them. Instead he ran away and only defended himself when he was unable to escape.
On the show they went on to praise Kyle’s performance. This is something I did immediately after watching the videos and understanding they took place in self defense. The performance was incredible. The first he had a person swinging at him with I believe a backpack which hit him and the rifle if I remember correctly and was able to hit the target. Then he runs and falls. I believe he cleared a jam while being kicked, having a person try to hit him with a skateboard and grabbing the barrel of the rifle and getting off a shot to neutralize that threat. Then he was able to get the shot off against the other assailant holding him at gunpoint. To remain that cool and focused while executing as well as he did under those circumstances is pretty amazing, and then to only be 17 with limited experience under that kind of pressure is incredible. I say this as a person who has been in a lot of serious physical altercations knowing what it feels like to act under similar pressure.
They had to fuck it up with reporting how someone told him that god was with him during the incident and the trial, and Kyle saying he felt like that. GTFOH with that superstitious bullshit. Kyle’s parents were responsible for ensuring that Kyle was capable of operating a firearm and making good decisions in using the weapon, and Kyle was poised enough to defend himself when he was forced into a situation to defend himself. All human results are a product of the decisions of the people on this planet.
I only caught a small piece of NPR. It was the Omachron variant and vaccine promotion. The host of the show asked about the availability of vaccines and explained she was having trouble getting a booster in the DC area. Whether she has had trouble getting a booster or not it was a launch point for the brain dead pharma Biden promoter she was interviewing. He assured her that supply was not an issue, the only issue was getting people scheduled to administer the boosters. He cited some number of boosters and vaccines they had and also how they had so much that they were exporting I think 10 million doses. The global pandemic is not just US promotion but a world wide promotion.
A few weeks or months ago, (it’s all the same to me at this point) I read that the Biden Administration raised the prices to be paid for the booster and vaccines. I don’t remember what it was, one was raised from like 20 to 28, the other raised from something like 50 to 60 dollars. Imagine you had a product that you could sell to hundreds of million of people, that made probably $20 per unit, since the research and development was largely paid for by the public? Imagine that it was being mandated by governments, and there was a PR campaign that was the most effective narrative for the media to earn money attracting attention? It’s a crazy world we live in. People are amazingly stupid, and manipulated through that stupidity.
12/4/2021 2nd
I was sitting by the campfire. It is much colder where I’m at now because it’s like a valley of trees that the sun doesn’t completely penetrate even when It’s up. Tomorrow after I work out I might go to one of the campsites that’s out of the woods. The only thing I really like about this site is there’s a bathroom but I used that today. I`m staying 2 more nights to be gone for two weeks after I sent the email. I was thinking I may pull the Florida Ordeal from Man in the Box and have it as a stand alone article and then trash Man in the Box altogether. Maybe I’ll pull the last few months of journal entries and place them here.
This journal log came together perfectly, being that I was in an area where NPR was broadcast, and then I was in an area where there was rightwing talk radio. Which allowed me to show why there is no market for my material, in that both sides are promoting bullshit and the truth offends that bullshit. I should have gone through the mechanism of self deception and the facilitation of external deception through self deception, creating the tendency to consume perspective reinforcing information and avoiding challenging information in an effort to protect values. I’m thankful for the opportunity to have both applied my material to some random national dialogue moments from both sides of stupidity, and show their deficiencies.
If the Republicans wanted to they could pulverize the democratic party by moderately adjusting their platform. The first thing they need to do is pull back on just a little on their America is great banner, and acknowledge that beginning poor is a disadvantage that social mobility of any significance is difficult for most people. Yes there are people who begin from the bottom who ascend to great heights, and there are those that ascend to worthwhile heights, but the majority of people born poor never achieve a worthwhile balance of money and time, or a personally rewarding profession. Then commit to doing something about it. Balance Stimulus. So no person can ever say that America didn’t give it’s poor and struggling a chance. Secondly, because it will increase production unlike anything we’ve ever seen before, which will reduce inflation, and create unprecedented economic grow, lead the to greatest shift in economic convergence between bottom middle and top this country has ever seen, reduce crime through the creation of opportunity, and also reduce government dependence as lower and middle income earners increase their income ceasing to qualify for government assistance. This should be the position of any candidate from the Republican party in 2022.
It’s so difficult to do because the Republican party has been the party of those who have benefited or achieved through this system and they don’t want anything to change. They don’t want more opportunities for disadvantaged people because it takes away the satisfaction many people experience by seeing their distance between others as evidence of their achievements, whereby an empowered underclass with the means, means the status of the advantaged is less significant as others close the gap. They want to maintain that America has lived up to the ideals of liberty and justice for all, but there’s never been a time when it has. Worse still, as long as people blind themselves to America’s deficiencies, America can never live up to those ideals.
America is not the land of the free because it is not the home of the brave. I’m not talking about the men and women who fight wars to secure the interests of industry abroad, I’m talking about the people in this country whose reality largely consists of opinions they want to be true but are not. I’m not just talking to republicans I am also talking to democrats and leftist progressives not committed to either business party. There are a lot of tough pills to swallow, but if people have the heart to stomach them, we can see what liberty and justice actually looks like. But American’s must be brave enough to acknowledge the deficiencies of their own perspectives and the self-deception that reinforces it. I don’t know if Americans are that brave, they’ve never shown that type of courage in the past, which isn’t to say many Americans haven’t shown other types of courage.
Even something as small as acknowledging that there are groups of people in this country who will not end up meaningfully better off from where they began because of disadvantaged circumstances, is something too great for the republican party to do, because it challenges the holiness of American systems. According to one social mobility study I saw 68% of the bottom 20% of income earners will either remain in the bottom 20% or move into the bottom 40% of income earners. A similar proportion, in the 60 percentile of the bottom 40% of income earners will either remain in the bottom 40% or will descend into the bottom 20%. This is what happens when people begin from these positions. It doesn’t matter if you, or others started from the bottom and were able to reach good or great heights, because most people who begin there cannot and do not. The exceptions are celebrated and promoted as the norm, to reinforce the idea that America is “the land of opportunity”, but for most disadvantaged people that opportunity is unfulling low wage work, or criminality, or substance use to cope with circumstances of being trapped in unfulfilling low wage work. We could go on, but I’m just bringing up a few examples. I’m not going to keep writing things I’ve written in other publications.
The previous paragraph is just to acknowledge that I don’t believe the republican party can be a party of opportunity for the underclasses because their members are too invested in a perspective of American perfectionism, where anyone who hasn’t achieved has failed exclusively through their own decisions, with nothing to blame on the circumstances that furnished not only the opportunities for them to make decisions, but also played a role in their development and how they make decisions.
As for the democrats I don’t have any advice for you. You are vile and disgusting with no redeeming qualities post Obama Administration. I would include Obama and pre-Obama but it’s notable that you’ve become much worse post Obama. Obama era and prior I hated the democratic party because they preyed on the hopes and aspirations of the poor and disadvantaged, promising mountains but knowing they would deliver valleys.
Post Obama democrats coopted most independent leftist movements, and created coalitions that appeared independent but were really just grass roots wings of the democratic party, like Resist, and the Poor People’s Campaign, among many others. In doing so they adopted and promoted their views, which is how disadvantage stopped being measured by the household income an individual grows up in, and became race, gender, and sexuality. This obviously serves the interest of their donors because industry and wealth does not want to acknowledge class, and class advantage. They obviously wanted to put a lid on class consciousness that had bubbled over a little bit before, during and following the occupy protests. The idea that race, gender, and sexuality is a source of disadvantage allows industry to tie their brand to those causes without harming their general interests in the achievement of class goals. Or, an empowered underclass that wasn’t reliant on low paying jobs, or who had more consumer power in the market not purchase their products. The second is something that is often forgotten, where most consumer choice is a product of the need to purchase at value to have money for other purchases as opposed to purchasing for the quality they prefer. I’m not talking about cars, I’m talking about everyday products.
So today the democrats are no longer the party lying to the poor, although some of that still goes on, they’re the party that promotes causes that do not exist, to appease a people who want those things to exist, and propose solutions to non-existent problems. Of course proposing solutions to non-existent problems is also a mode used in serving the interests of industry as we see with coronavirus.
There’s a business interest tied to everything you see in front of you, which includes maintaining the narratives and priorities of the two business parties. Nothing ever changes because the general population is content on consuming bullshit and the dispensers of the different brands of bullshit are constantly creating the public’s brands of bullshit; keeping the country trapped between primarily two false perspectives.
12/8/2021
I was at a roadside rest stop near Roswell, NM when I was writing this. It was completely dark and seemed like a dangerous location to be parked. I started driving to another rest stop and I’ve just arrived at a picnic area outside of Portales that is safer. I listened to some more talk radio and will address some of the things said there before I forget them because I didn’t write the subjects down.
There was a bill introduced to block a 650 million dollar weapons deal with Saudi Arabia. Some Democrats in the Senate joined Republicans voting the bill or resolution down 70 opposed to 30 for. I’ve written about why Saudi Arabia is important to the United States in an article called Andrew Bacevich Critique in the book Understanding Political Function Through Recent Political History 2019-2020. This was what was briefly emphasized as the explanation that Saudi Arabia is a US ally. This is not why the Senate blocked the bill with bi partisan support.
The main reason the bill was blocked is because US weapons manufacturers want to sell weapons, so they fund the campaigns of democrats and republicans to serve those interests. Principly, the global arms market is flush with supply, meaning that if the demand isn’t met by the United States, it’ll be met by the UK, Russia, France, China etc. If the reason to block the export of US arms to Saudi Arabia is because it limits the harm Saudi Arabia can do to other nations, this doesn’t serve that purpose because although many US weapons systems are probably superior to their competitors, the degrees in difference only matter when you have two militaries possessed of sophisticated weaponry. Saudi Arabia does not plan on using those weapons against such countries. So, whether the arms are US made, or made by a competitor, the harm they can inflict with those weapons is the same. Then the question becomes why should US arms manufacturers, who employ US workers, miss out on money when the measure has no bearing on the harm Saudi Arabia can carry out?
The other show I heard seemed like it was exclusively concerned with gun rights These guys were so stupid at times it was aggravating, and I’m extremely pro gun despite having felonies that make it unlawful for me to possess a gun, but we’re on the same side.
They mentioned Dr. Oz is running for office and quoted him as saying the CDC should study gun violence like they study disease. When he was asked about that comment recently he said he was pro-second amendment, he was a gun owner, and believed all law abiding citizens have the right to own guns that cannot be taken away without due processes and a fair adjudication. They didn’t know what he meant by this and one said it was liberal nonsense or something along those lines. It’s pretty simple what he said if I’m remembering his words correctly, he’s saying law abiding citizens should be able to possess guns ,but people who commit certain crimes can lose the right, with due process and a conviction through a fair trial.
The host goes on to say just because someone’s a gun owner that doesn’t make them my friend. His buddy who was called in then went on with these painful parallels to make a point that I don’t know if he ever made or not. He said if I’m a dog owner you have to agree with my reasonable regulations of dog ownership, or if I’m a car owner you have to agree with my reasonable regulation of car operation. It was so painfully drawn out. I don’t remember the question he answered in a similar fashion previous to this one. What I think he’s saying is that Oz owning a gun puts him in a position where he would have credibility in promoting restrictions because he has a gun, and therefore he’s subject to those restrictions so he is affected, and being a gun owner he has the experience to decide what is reasonable.
I don’t like the idea of any television personality being involved in politics. People are stupid enough as it is and celebrities running for office can be voted in for even less substantive reasons than career politicians are voted in. They’re also easily manipulated because when a lobbyist approaches a politician he doesn’t approach him with just the policy that benefits the interests he represents, he approaches him with an explanation as to why that interest benefits the public. Celebrities being naive and needing to be liked will jump at the opportunity to support the interests of business because 1: they like the person, and 2: because they don’t really know the effects of policy, so they’ll accept whatever explanation is presented to them. Maybe it doesn’t matter much because career politicians like to be elected, and so even when they know the explanation is bullshit they adopt it anyway and then create additional defenses off of that pretext that ties in with their general personified narrative.
I don’t know much about Dr. Oz. I do remember he was one of the few popular people with medical credentials that tried to tame the covid fear early on but I presume he was chastised and reversed his position to keep his show. If he did this then he has demonstrated that he will compromise the truth to serve his own interests. I’m also concerned about some of the assertions that were made about him concerning mental health. It doesn’t matter what they are, mental health is a term used to promote the acceptance of problems or disorders that are not problems or disorders. I don’t support anyone who puts too much emphasis on that term.
Although people should oppose people they believe will try to implement gun control legislation, it’s a much bigger boogie man than it actually is. The reason being is any gun control legislation is going to be subject to judicial oversight. The only real check on power is the supreme court but it’s a check that’s often not considered. If you’re a gun owner or proponent of gun ownership and you’re constantly told the government is going to take your guns away, then you’ll consume information about gun control, and can be persuaded through that value, which serves the interests of people who produce the information, serves the interest of the republican party, and serves the interest of gun manufacturers, as Americans collectively spent 28 billion dollars on guns last year. The more you can be convinced that the government is coming for your guns and ammo, the more you’ll buy guns and ammo, the more you’ll consume information about the topic, and the more you can be persuaded politically through that fear.
Earlier on NPR there was an economist who essentially made up causation for a correlation. He said there was a correlation between people quitting their jobs and the percentage of people who were vaccinated in that state. The lower the vaccination rate the greater the rate people were quitting their jobs. Offering no evidence of the following causation he states, when people are concerned about their physical health it causes mental health problems and this is why people in states with lower vaccination rates were quitting their jobs. Essentially the stress from being in public among unvaccinated people is causing people to quit their jobs. He didn’t cite any survey research to support his opinion, just stated for the NPR narrative that the reason lower vaccination states see more people quitting their jobs is because they’re afraid of covid, as if that’s the only possible explanation.
Of course it’s equally if not more likely that the people who are quitting their jobs in states with lower vaccination rates is because companies were and are requiring employees to be vaccinated to maintain employment, and some employees do not want to be vaccinated. So in states with lower vaccination rates there are more people quitting their jobs because this indicates there are more people who do not want to be vaccinated and companies are requiring it as a condition of employment.
There was more reporting on Coronavirus Omicron variant. What hasn’t been mentioned is coronavirus didn’t begin in 2019 and every year there have been mutations, some years I believe more than one mutation but it wasn’t broadcast until after covid-19. Every other week there’s going to be some difference in cases from the previous week, and the broadcast began with highlighting that cases were up from last week, like this is really useful and meaningful information.
The doctor in his effort to make the Omicron variant seem potentially more harmful stated that the number one factor for a severe outcome is age, so although the symptoms appeared milder than Delta the data coming from Africa is from a younger sample. When we’re talking age alone as a risk factor the bulk of people with no underlying conditions are over 85 years old. The data is in the introduction covid-19 media project. The doctor in a sense is promoting positive information in that it is subtly informative of the risk of being infected where he mentions age be the most determinative of a severe outcome, but his motivation isn’t to alleviate the irrational fears people under 75 years old, but to encourage fear of the new variant by dismissing the mild symptoms experienced by the South African data.
Today some congressional committee interviewed someone from Instagram about a whistleblower report that some children were experiencing mental health issues from using the platform. The explanation provided was that girls go on instagram and rely on the responses of others to their posts for self worth affirmations, and some girls are exposed to content that causes them to feel bad.
They quoted one mother saying it’s like the sink is overflowing and she is standing there with one mop. It’s a perfect illustration because the reason you’re standing there with the mop is because you weren’t paying attention to what was going into the sink. If your child’s self worth is determined by instagram that has more to do with how you’ve brought your child up than it does with the instagram platform. Trash issue. The government is going to create policy to make up for your deficiencies as a parent. Crazy. It should also be noted that in addition to finding that instagram may have caused some teens to feel bad, according to the person being interviewed it also caused others to feel good.
I’m not supportive of these social media platforms in general, in the Camp Journal I lay the beginning of legal interpretation to prevent social media censorship that doesn’t violate private property rights over the platform. Regulating social media is an effort to fix poor parenting through regulation, and even if content is regulated in the name of some threat to children, it won’t solve the problem of children being raised by people who don’t consist of anything raising children who are a reflection of that exposure. Parents raise their children by keeping them entertained through simple stimulation. Phones, games, TV, movies, activities etc. This is another issue I’m not going to go into here because it’s broad and expansive and creates a variety of problems.
I heard something funny about immigration. I’m probably the only one who thought this was funny. They’re interviewing a Mexican woman who either has a role in the Mexican government or studies the immigration issue from the Mexican vantage point. Biden reimplemented the Trump policy to have immigrants from the southern border wait in Mexico to go to court. The woman mentioned that in Mexico they were having immigrants from their southern border on the way to the US wait in the southern portion of the country. She said the problem was there weren’t very many resources and jobs in southern Mexico so Mexico began issuing one year work visas so migrants could disperse throughout the country and find work. Of course Mexicans don’t like this because immigrants are stealing their jobs. LOL.
That’s another fake right wing boogie man that does a disservice to the men and women who work for CBP and ICE. A few years ago, either pre-Obama or early Obama the amount of illegal immigrants in this country from the southern border was 12 million. Under the Obama Administration it was reduced to something like 10.5 million and has remained under 11 million. In terms of jobs and other social costs 11 million people is imperceivable in a country of 330 million people. Which means as long as CBP and ICE are able to maintain an illegal immigrant population that is below 12 million then they are protecting American opportunity and we don’t have an immigration problem. I’ve written about this more thoroughly elsewhere.
(Note from repost:. At the time this was written, between 2009 to 2020 average apprehensions were 400,000 per year. 2021 saw the first dramatic increase in apprehensions which was the beginning effect of Biden policies and rhetoric on immigration producing a problem that was essentially the democrats response to republicans promoting the problem when it wasn’t a problem for the previous decade)
I know any negative assertion that can be used to have people avoid my material is much more effective at causing people to avoid my material than confronting it. Not that this is much of a problem now because no one is interested in my material anyway, but I did want to confront a foreseeable knock. Some would state that my material isn’t relevant because from the perspective of most I don’t have my own affairs in order. This is a product of different goals and efforts to produce stability (since I changed paths and stopped selling drugs) that have not worked despite the effort. All of which can be read about in New Mexico Camp Journal and the Florida Ordeal.
Most people’s priorities are not my priorities. My priority is to make money promoting my material and ideas. Unfortunately I don’t reinforce biases, and for this reason I cannot make money despite my talents and the quality of my material being superior to those who are able to make money doing the same things, except doing it through a lens that reinforces biases and the bogus narratives that people’s perspectives are built on. It isn’t a product of a lack of ability as far as not having the things that people count as basic necessities, it’s different priorities where I don’t want to work a perpetually unfulfilling job for the comfort of a home and the satisfaction experienced through consumerism. Different people like different things. My priorities are to earn a living through the promotion of liberty and truth. I happen to have a monopoly on that promotion but it is a product the people of this country are too cowardly to consume or confront.
Along those lines of basic false narratives I was thinking about the sign I saw that read god, family, and country. It’s kind of funny because your god is false, your idea of your country is false, and these things are passed onto your family who passes those things on. Ignorant christian nationalists and ignorant racist progressives. Along with the indifferent this represents the entire country.
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Content Withheld
I was going to go on with more reasons why I cannot attract attention to my material, but suffice it to say that I’ve failed to capture the serious attention of even one person. Other than the example in the ASC summary I don’t know if anyone has understood anything I’ve ever written. No criticism, no comments that demonstrate that anything has been understood, no questions. Verbally, I can make a point and that point will create silence in the hearer but still not attract any interest in what the point pertains to.
Development that takes place in isolation typically suffers from the limitations of that individual’s path of development. It’s fair to presume my material contains deficiencies due to its isolation. It’s fair to presume this, I’m just looking for an opportunity to have it reviewed and for some deficiency to be shown to me. My education isn’t a product of having an interest in a broad field of study and learning material presented through the bias of different professors. My education begins with understanding that all reality is motion, and every result down to the production of thoughts has a cause.
For example, say I’ve never studied the game of baseball and know nothing about it. Then I began to watch the game and write about it. I describe observing a person with the bat hitting the ball over the fence and the result being a point added to the team’s score. Even an expert with an extensive understanding of the game cannot deny this function of the game. What I mean by this is the isolation that my material developed in isn’t limited by that isolation because I’m describing observed functions that are true regardless of whatever else may be true about the subject.
I am seemingly hopelessly trapped. I perceive myself as a person on a planet with an incorrigible species. Incorrigible because of self deception, and generally all human problems are a product of self deception and unequal opportunities for people to have time and money. Recognizing that people are unreachable one option is to work an unfulfilling job that affords me enough money and time to entertain myself when I’m not working. This is one foundation of human happiness. The problem is you cannot unknow what you know.
Imagine life is a dark warehouse and everyone has a flashlight. People shine their flashlight in one direction, like what they see, and proceed forward towards goals within that beam. Imagine you shined your flashlight all over the warehouse and developed an understanding of what was in the warehouse. Anywhere you shine your light what you see you see in the context of the entire warehouse, not only what you’re seeing in that light. Meanwhile, interaction is hindered because people like what they see in their beam and don’t want to understand what they see in the broader context of the warehouse.
I don’t know if these scenarios are effective in demonstrating the point, but plainly, almost everybody is full shit from the bottom to the top, often even when they’re right about something. It is an intolerable existence to ignore this and try to content myself within it. I’m hopelessly trapped because the only thing I want to do, which is best summarized as promoting liberty and truth, in the functional meaning of those words, I cannot do.
This is one of many usually futile efforts in promoting my material. I’ve self published the attached material through my website but it is difficult to sell books to a population that cannot read and whose interest is not attractable unless they’ve been told by someone they like that something is worthwhile or the material is simple and bias reinforcing. I’m not actually looking for publishing. What I’m looking for is to attract the attention of people in the fields that my material pertains to. To have the positions acknowledged, to be able to respond to criticism, for the premises to spawn new academic research and thought, and to draw attention to my material which may allow me to gain the legitimacy and resources to advance human interests.
12/9/2021
I wrote the second portion of this entry first but it’s essentially a diatribe about my circumstances and the human species who are largely responsible for them. So, I thought I’d begin responding to the talk radio I listened to this morning instead of putting what I wrote earlier first.
This was conservative talk radio that seemed to represent the views of more mainstream republican views, not what is represented in the mainstream media as republican views. Although there were a number of things these gentlemen were wrong about, they were at least substantive in their ideas, opinions, and what they believed to be fact.
I addressed this in the Camp Journal from the Dan Bongino Show, about why corporate America sponsors BLM, which is an overtly racist, and marxist organization. These gentlemen brought it up and their explanation was that BLM is shaking down corporate America, where if they do not support BLM, BLM will create a PR campaign against corporations calling them racist which will impact their brand. Unfortunately, there is no better PR machine than the one used by corporate America. Corporate America is the decider of policy and perception, even more so in the social media age. As I explained before, the narrative about racial disadvantage and racial injustice is a popular narrative that allows these corporations to benefit by attaching their brand not only to BLM, but to other race based causes. There’s a direct benefit, but there is also an indirect benefit in channeling energy and attention to things that are not problems to keep people’s mind away from things that are problems: inadequate opportunities for individuals to have time and money. The achievement of class goals which in many ways directly and indirectly are not beneficial to industry. The distraction is probably secondary, corporations support BLM more so because it benefits their brand through the narrative of racial disadvantage.
They talked about gangs and violence in democrat run cities . They claimed that gangs and just violent people in general committed crimes against citizens. While there is some of this, a random car jacking, someone robbing a convenience store, or something along those lines, the bulk of violence especially gang violence (I don’t know how much of that there is any more compared to late 90s and early 2000 indictments), isn’t criminals terrorizing the general public, it’s largely criminals committing crimes against criminals. That’s a big misconception of crime by the public, where people call certain neighborhoods sketchy or dangerous, in most cases, if you’re not involved in that lifestyle or look like you’re presenting an opportunity you don’t have anything to worry about.
They brought up a shooting that took place during the day, some video they saw. They said a man shot another man from the car, then got out of the car and continued to shoot the man until he was dead. One of the people on the show said why? That’s what I ask as well but we’re asking different questions. The person on the show is asking why it happened in the context of how people can do that to other people. This is my interpretation of his question based on what followed. I’m asking what this person did to cause that person to kill him. Did he steal from him, tell on him, hurt or kill someone who he knew?
This was followed by democrat run cities and stating what I addressed in Camp Journal from the Charlie Kirk show, that the democrats soft on crime approach is responsible for an increase in serious crimes. Again, serious crimes usually do not result in low bails or light sentences. So while these policies certainly increase the amount of less serious crimes and some serious property crimes, it doesn’t affect the punishment deterrent to serious crimes.
He brought up the example of Darell Brooks who was released on $1000 bail for assaulting and running over his child’s mother with a car. (I was wrong about the details when I wrote about this incident, only hearing about it briefly in a previous article. I was initially under the impression that he committed the parade massacre after he ran over his child’s mother. Naturally what I wrote based on that information doesn’t apply to that situation, although applicable to others) The problem with using this as an example of how low bails can endanger the safety of the public, is this low bail was not the product of policy. The district attorney stated that the bail was recommended by an inexperienced DA and was set much too low for the crime. It isn’t an example of how bail is set in a democrat run city, it is an exception, not an example of bail guidelines or policy.
The other example they brought up was a person who burned down a christmas tree outside of a fox news location somewhere was let go without bail. What these people don’t understand is how jail functions in the real world. As someone who has been to jail I can tell you that most times I’ve been in the Milwaukee County Jail, aka Criminal Justice Facility, it has been crowded. I haven’t been there in awhile but they also had a place called the House of Corrections where they would take people who had long wait times in between their court dates and there were times when it was also overcrowded. Everytime I went to intake court, most people going to intake court received Personal Recognizance Bonds. This is no bail you promise to show up for court.
PR bonds were given to people who didn’t have serious offenses or who didn’t have criminal records. While I don’t advocate how no bail has been applied in places like the West Coast where it seems their bail criteria encourage crime, you can’t hold every person who breaks a window or tries to push a shopping cart out of Walmart because you don’t have the space, and the cost to create the space isn’t worth the cost because it won’t significantly decrease crime.
They brought up an article that was originally called “Is Math Racist?” which they describe as an article comparing the math scores of black students to other students. As I’ve already addressed in Racial Perceptions, you cannot compare education by race, until you’ve first separated race into class, where the test results of black students are compared to the test results of white students who come from a similar household income. After this another factor that has to be considered is the quality of the school. This means we compare 1000 black students from one household income bracket, who attend a school that produces an average math test score of say 70, and we compare it to 1000 white students from the same household income who also attend schools that produce an average math score of 70. Most research is conducted to imply racial causation that is really the product of economic disadvantage where proportionately, a greater amount of black people are disadvantaged, although in whole numbers many more white people are poor or impoverished.
Once again they got the causation wrong. The man begins, he believes success in America is a product of life choices, and hesitantly says and environment. He was referring to the environment as the shaper of decision making, and it is, but decision making itself doesn’t begin with a decision, it begins with what opportunities are available to you based on your circumstances. You cannot do something that is beyond your circumstances. This is secondary to this point.
Here he reinforces the myth of the two parent home. He didn’t mention any research but it’s been quoted to me in the past and I may have read somewhere people who come from two parent homes typically either have more success or less failure so to speak than people who come from single parents. This time the right is creating causation that fits the idea they like, and ignoring the actual causation for those observations. A Child who comes from a two parent home not only benefits from two parents, which is valuable in time and attention, but today they also typically benefit from a higher household income than single parents.
One study I’ve mentioned in probably several different places was a study that showed the lower the household income a male is born into, the greater the likelihood he would end up in prison in his 30s. Direct causation, where income increases $10,000 annually in the household, males in that household have less of a chance of going to prison than they did before, and another increase leads to another decrease. The study is cited in American Prosperity Proposals and probably also in Understanding Political Function Through Recent Political History. There was no distinction between 1 parent or 2 parent homes, just males born into certain household income groupings, and their chances of being incarcerated increased as a result.
Since we know low household income levels are an environment that cause people to make life decisions that lead to them going to prison there is already a correlation there. Another correlation is single parents typically head households that have less income than 2 parent households. The same as “Is Math Racist” suggests racial causation that is actually disproportionate economic causation, the republicans on this show have taken economic causation, and applied it to a two parent household. Which isn’t to say that two parent households do not provide some advantages for children, but that advantage is much less pronounced than they would like to imply.
They mentioned the democrats attack reality in pushing a narrative of racial disadvantage and that it hurts the black community because eventually they’ll be forced to acknowledge reality. I do agree that the democrats are waging war on reality and pushing race, gender, sexuality as a source of disadvantage and mental health is waging war against reality. I mentioned this either yesterday or in the camp journal where words lose meaning as they are applied to things that they do not represent, and take on new meaning based on popular acceptance of what they are applied to. Republicans wage war with reality as well, but it’s more subtle and generally a product of limited life experience. Like corporate America being shook down by BLM, is a product with their failure to confront the myths about how their country functions. America is good because it has been good to them. Maybe not a great example but my material is filled with examples of republicans waging war on reality.
I agree that the assertion of racial disadvantage where there is no racial disadvantage is harmful to black community. But not because they’ll be forced to acknowledge reality, no one is forced to acknowledge reality and the attention my work receives is evidence of the human propensity to ignore reality in preference of the reality that causes them to feel good. It harms black people because black people who are poor believe they’re poor because they’re black, and focusing their attention on this misconception takes their attention away from the achievement of class goals. Subscribing to the misconception that race is a source of disadvantage separates black people from people of other races, especially white people, who represent the greatest number of poor people in total numbers in this country, who have the same goals as poor black people.
I thought there was more to discuss but that’s all I have from my notes. If you wish to continue, know that my mood is very dark and unpleasant in the remainder of this entry.
I’m two days removed from the camp. The first day I went to a Pilot to take shower and then spent that day and the following day assembling and posting Camp Journal and Florida Ordeal. Whatever my situation is going to be I needed a recharge and texted someone I met recently. I’m going to see her and after that I’m not completely sure where I’m going. I will need to get some gigwork in soon because my money is rapidly deteriorating. There’s a rest area with wifi I may go to after I visit this woman. I think it’s probably in the neighborhood of 300 miles to get there from where I’m going. I need wifi for a few days to edit and post videos but more importantly to start spam emailing my material.
I don’t know, I feel pretty fucked right now. LOL It’s funny to acknowledge it. Sometimes I’ll remove myself from the situation and just laugh about it. By removing myself I mean think about it as if it is not me, but someone else where shit cannot go right. When I think about it in its totality, the distance between people’s perception of reality and reality, creatures who crave simple stimulation and spend their civilization in pursuit of creating more simple stimulation. Mental mechanisms that prevent the penetration of truths that challenge their beliefs because altering one’s perspective changes values. Value is measured by feeling.
People’s minds are like stacked items. You begin stacking the items, and the objects are known to exist through causes and produce effects, the objects are stacked according to what is right and what is wrong morally, and these ideas add value to an act or can remove value from an act. The objects have value according to the sensations they produce. Finally there are sequences that are true and sequences that are false.
How is this like stacked items? Because whatever comes to you first if it produces a positive feeling, whether an act or even an idea, you’re going to protect the perception of it that allows it to produce a positive feeling. You stack other objects accordingly. Picture you have a giant wagon where you’ve stacked unboxed items. If you pull at one of these items towards the bottom what will happen? In most cases, the other items stacked on top of it are going to lose stability because they rely on that item being in that position. The same is true with the human mind. In the pursuit of value reinforcement and protection people perceive other objects through the lens of already liked objects. When one object is not what it was believed to be, there are consequences for a variety of other objects whose value is derived from something being morally right, or an object believed to produce some motion (true).
The subconscious is always set to an objective to produce a positive feeling. For the subconscious to create objectives to produce positive feelings objects must maintain their assignments within your organization of them for positive feelings to be produced. This is why people experience negative feelings when they are exposed to information that challenges their beliefs, because it is a threat to their value of objects, where much of what they do to feel good will cease to make them feel good should the information change what they know.
The point is, I think about all of these things, it’s a twilight zone scenario. You wake up in your body about 3 to 4 years old. For the first 29 years of your life you’re in a tunnel the same as everybody else. Pulled through life by subtle feelings you don’t really understand. Then in seeing how fucked up everything was throughout your life, and knowing people who began and persist in difficult, unfulfilling circumstances you want to know why that is. In discovering that what is, need not be, it can change your direction. Soon you realize that what is isn’t only a problem of an organization that exclusively prioritizes the interests of the advantaged, but the species you exist with, drives this organization through their subscriptions to deception. Deception is only effective because people want to be deceived, because it maintains and reinforces their perception which has a lot to do with what makes them feel good. The only way to get people’s attention is to pay them. And there are no worthwhile opportunities to earn enough money to pay people to learn.
It isn’t really that hard, but it isn’t something you can just walk up to a person and begin teaching them. The reason being is you don’t know how their wagon is stacked but you can say with a great degree of certainty that it isn’t stacked well. Of course first you want them to read the material to create at least some familiarization with the content.
This turned into quite a ramble but when you’re so trapped the way I am trapped, for as long as I’ve been trapped, and all you see is the fence all around you, you can’t do anything but laugh about it. It’s horrible, disgusting, unpleasant, and a product of issues with human morality, the requirement of the truth for liberty, as it relates to the consequences self deception has in my individual circumstances, but also generally as the required support for systems that leave others circumstantially trapped. This life is a nightmare, this planet is a physical hell, held in place by a species who chooses and practices tyranny knowingly and unknowingly.
12/14/2021
I woke up Saturday 12/11 and walked up to the rest area to use the bathroom. It was about 30 to 40 yards including some stairs and an incline to reach the building. As I walked up the stairs I became light headed and my breathing was laborious. Once I entered the building it was about 10 yards to the bathroom and about 15 yards to the second stall once in the bathroom. Upon entering the building the light headed sensation was increasing and I could not catch my breath. My goal was to reach the toilet and sit down and try to figure out what was going on.
There are two stalls next to one another. Once I reached the first stall which was occupied I collapsed. The occupant asked if I was alright and said I needed to be careful. I don’t remember what I said back. I was confused because I had no explanation as to why I couldn’t breath and just collapsed. I was on my hands and knees in front of the stall for at least 20 to 30 seconds, maybe as long as a minute. Eventually I was able to pull myself up and reach the unoccupied stall just a few feet from where I fell.
I don’t remember what happened in the stall, I just remember being on the ground trying to get myself up and talking to a man through the stall door. I shit my pants and my belt was unbuckled but my pants were not down. I must have been preparing to sit down when I lost consciousness. I pulled myself up (1) from the floor and wanted to reach the bench in the lobby area of the rest area. I stopped at the sink and used the counter to hold myself up. The man waited with me concerned about seeing me in the condition that I was in and this condition was as mysterious to me as it was to him. Eventually I made my way to the bench.
1: When I say I pulled myself up I mean it was a struggle to get back to my feet, using the walls of the stall and pushing myself up from the floor.
I didn’t understand what was going on. I just kept breathing but could not catch my breath. After about 15 minutes I felt like I’d recovered and told the man he could go. After he left I thought since I took my phenibut and energy drink mix with only half a bottle of water instead of a full bottle of water maybe that concentration triggered the problem. I also thought maybe I was having a heart attack.
Since I shit my pants when I momentarily lost consciousness and felt like my breathing had recovered, I walked out of the rest area intending to go to my car to get a change of clothes to get myself squared away. I took a few steps outside and my breathing was immediately fucked up and I was becoming light headed. I turned around and made it back to the bench. I sat on the bench trying to catch my breath and got up to get water from the fountain which seemed like it was hurting more than it was helping. I had a problem that came out of nowhere and apparently wasn’t going to get better on its own.
After about 15 minutes of sitting there struggling to breath a man asked me if I was alright and I asked him to call an ambulance. He didn’t have his phone so he had to go back out to his truck and probably about 10 minutes after I asked him he called the ambulance and I talked to 911 dispatch and explained to her what I’ve explained here in brevity. The ambulance didn’t arrive for at least 40 minutes if not longer. This wasn’t the fault of the EMTs the rest area is located 40 miles from the nearest medical services.
When they arrived they checked my vitals, put me on oxygen, provided me a breathing treatment, and gave me my choice of towns and hospitals. I figured it would be easier for me to get back to my car if I went to Amarillo as opposed to the other town I hadn’t heard of. The custodian of the rest area was with me when the ambulance arrived. He came over to me just a few minutes before the ambulance came and had been busy with work outside while all of this was transpiring. He went to my car and retrieved a pair of pants, underwear, and cellphone.
I was taken to North West Hospital in Amarillo. I was unable to get up and clean myself off so I sat there with a load of shit in my pants while I gave statements, answered questions, and was given a chest X Ray followed by a CAT scan. The doctor told me I had blood clots in my lungs. The official diagnosis was a bilateral pulmonary embolism which as I understand it means the arteries that bring oxygenated blood from the lungs to the rest of the body were severely obstructed by a blood clot.
About 2 hours after arriving I gathered myself enough to use the bathroom and clean myself off, throwing away my pants and underwear and putting on the fresh underwear and pants. Shortly thereafter I was taken up stairs for a minor surgical procedure to break up the clot. They make an incision into a vein in my neck and push this metal wire with a camera on the end of it to break up the clot and then pump medicines through it. The procedure itself was smooth and relatively painless. I laid down, covered with sheets and towels. I don’t remember the titles but the guy who was administering the pain medication I believe his name was Steve gave me the right combination of things to make me comfortable. Scott performed the procedure largely without me even knowing he was doing anything. Scott also came back early on Sunday morning to pull the tube or whatever it was that had to be left in my neck overnight. It was very uncomfortable and Cecelia was not concerned about me laying there covered in blood on a pad that was saturated with blood. I was glad he came.
She was definitely the only low for a few different reasons. After the tube was pulled she came and put a few packs of wipes on my table. I was like fuck it and started wiping myself off and asked her if she could get my back that I couldn’t reach. She did a good job rewrapping my neck a day later though. Throughout my time there that was the only thing I really had a problem with. When I was waiting to have the tube pulled when I was oozing blood as they say, she didn’t seem like she wanted to service my comfort, where I was tired, with an object hanging out of my neck, laying on pads soaked in cold blood, at least make it a priority to get me a new pad.
With all the blood thinners going through me the first night was pretty rough. Great nurses, especially Austin, who could never be satisfied in how much he could do for you. Wiped the blood off me, changed out my pad, and literally did everything he could to make sure I was comfortable. Also followed protocol perfectly, asking me questions he was confident I knew like where I was and what year it was, but if I didn’t it would indicate a more serious problem that he could catch early. He worked with a level of compassion, professionalism, and effectiveness that may be able to be matched but not surpassed. I don’t know for sure that his name is Austin but that’s what Cecelia who was my first shift nurse said his name was. Words cannot do justice in expressing how great this guy was at his job. Other staff also performed at a high level.
The last night I was there a nurse named Kiley allowed me to use the community shower which was fantastic. Since I didn’t need to be monitored all the time she told me I could take the nodes off and then every so often she just did the blood pressure cuff, the pulse deal on the finger, and various other tests and vital gathering.
Food was actually pretty decent. This morning when I left I had a huge plate of biscuits, gravy, hash browns, bacon, and eggs with orange juice and coffee. I have no insurance and very little money so my bill will go to pay the hospital’s taxes. An amazing experience considering the circumstances.
I was there for 3 days. Dr. Melese Ephrem was my physician and although I only interacted with him a few times, he was very thorough and effective in my treatment. He was able to send me with a one month supply of blood thinning medication that I otherwise probably wouldn’t be able to afford and could probably die without. I’m very appreciative of everyone from the man who initially waited with me, to the emts, to all the people at the hospital who made this surprising and difficult experience as easy as it could be. Thanks to all of you.
I have real problems right now because I’m confident that these clots in my legs that worked their way to my lungs are a product of driving long distances and sleeping in my car. I don’t have a solution to that right now. I plan on countering this by working my legs, taking the medication and figuring out a different way to sleep in my car that won’t leave blood stagnant in my legs.
As I write this my situation may be much more difficult than it has ever been. Things happen and I acknowledge them and move on. There is some lasting effects right now and I don’t know how long it will be until I am back to 100%. I’m not struggling to breath as I was during the episode but small increases in physical exertion produce disproportionate stress. I’ve always prided myself on my ability to push through whatever is in front of me which in this context is a combination of physical ability and mental strength. I’m physically not capable of doing things I may need to be able to do. I don’t like that. I don’t know if I can do physically demanding work right now.
I just benefited from some of the best medical care and treatment on this planet, that exists as such not because of state of the art technology and facilities although there is some of that there, but because of quality personnel who have pride in themselves and what they do. I’ve been away from the hospital for about 7 hours, and in looking at my circumstances I almost lament the treatment I received.
12/20/2021
I spent 3 or 4 days at the Sunset Reef Campground about 25 miles south of Carlsbad. It consists of campsites right next to each other and RV sites right next to each other. Isn’t too bad except there is hardly any wood for campfires and the people. I prefer seclusion when I’m camping which is why my favorite campsites in New Mexico are in the Gila National Forest on the western New Mexico side going up 180 north.
I left Sunset Reef Campground for a campground about 25 miles outside of El Paso. I ordered phenibut to a hotel address in El Paso that I intend to do a delivery change to a UPS location. I also wanted to leave Sunset anyway. The campground I left Sunset for required payment for a permit which I presume would have been a fee for access to the park and then a fee per night to camp which in my experience can be $20 a night or more just to camp. I left and went to the Lincoln National forest in New Mexico.
It’s pretty commercial along the main road, lots of private property, even little towns, many pay campsites. I found one campsite that is free to the public, James Canyon. Surprisingly, for such an accessible campsite there is a decent amount of firewood in the area. Fallen trees that have to be broken apart but in less than an hour of gathering, probably closer to 20 minutes I collected enough wood to have a good fire for around 4 hours.
I created one video that I may edit into some videos if I have an opportunity. There was another video I made at Sunset about what I perceived to be a fake opportunity for a labor for housing situation. Not really about the opportunity itself, just a reflection about something said in text. For the two days I’ve been here I think I skipped my work out both days although I do leg exercises throughout the day. Today I woke up and went to the picnic area where I get phone reception. I checked my bank account and it was about $200 dollars lighter than my worst case scenario. This means I have about $200 to my name between my bank account and cash. Not looking very good for me.
The balance is accurate other than one double charge for $40 which should correct itself within 3 to 5 business days or perhaps sooner. After checking my bank account I decided to go to McDonalds to use the wifi. I was looking on CL for gigs and in the rooms section because sometimes there are work live opportunities. I’ve never taken advantage of these but I have seen them and thought I’d see what was out there.
After this I made a copy of the camp journal and took the pictures out so I could attach it to an email. Yesterday I put together a solicitation for the book and today I sent it to 2 nonfiction book reviewers. I was going to send it to more but I’m adding this epilogue so I may as well send the full version. I’m also going to use the solicitation for the introduction to my website.
I was unable to change my delivery address today and this may be because the label has been created but the item has not been picked up yet. Otherwise I’m going to have to spend a day waiting at the hotel and hopefully the manager doesn’t have a problem with me receiving the package as long as I’m transparent about the contents. I plan on returning to McDonalds tomorrow, actually I may go to Taco Bell, finish adding this portion to the camp journal and then send out requests for book review bloggers. I’ll also be looking for work but I cannot really look for work until I’m ready to work. I may spend another night up here to kill a day without spending money waiting on the package.
I don’t want to go back to DFW and the only thing that is there is Go Puff. The problem is with such limited resources it’s difficult not to take the bird in the hand. Otherwise I was thinking about Phoenix but my apprehension about Phoenix is the covid BS and to what degree they’re practicing stupidity. Otherwise I can probably find work there. I hope I can work, physically I’m still getting winded quicker than I should be
12/23/2021
Everything preceding this is the epilogue of the New Mexico Camp Journal. I haven’t deleted it because I don’t know how long it is going to be before I begin writing articles of any substance. I need to refocus on getting money. I have a rough stretch over the next week.
I was camping in Lincoln Forest at James Canyon campground. My money is far below the minimum level I would have liked it to be and I was faced with a decision as to where I was going to go to make some desperately needed money. I also needed some phenibut so I ordered some to a hotel in El Paso and then had it held at the UPS customer center to pick it up.
This morning I went to the customer center to pick it up and there was a man standing outside of the customer center who I presumed was working there. He told me I had to have a mask and there were only two people in the store at a time. I said you have to be kidding me with that ignorant shit, and then I asked if he had a mask for me and he stated he did not.
I went to my car and grabbed a shirt and wrapped it around my face. I entered and saw the man receiving a package. I removed my shirt and I said fuck you, you don’t even work here. I went on to tell him the risk of dying of covid is about the same as a person’s risk of dying of natural causes in the next year, and because of this covid-19 doesn’t qualify as a threat to public safety that can be used to impose on the rights of citizens.
He said if you worked with covid patients every day like I do you’d think differently.
I told him when you get old and you get sick you die, or if you don’t take care of yourself and you get sick you die. I really thought by now this stupid shit would be over with. The point of that statement is you don’t sacrifice the interests of the whole in an effort to marginally extend the lives of the sick and elderly. It’s like if the young and healthy gazelles threw themselves to the lions to ensure the sick and old could escape.
As far as his comment about if you work with covid patients all day (and it didn’t look like he did, he was extremely overweight and I reminded him as much) I told him that I look at the numbers. If you’re an idiot and work in a hospital, seeing covid patients all day your perception of the virus is limited to the worst outcomes. Your perspective of the virus is that it is dangerous because you’re only seeing the worst cases which typically occur among the very elderly or those who are already sick. Your perception of the virus is based on some fractional percentage of actual cases, where the great majority do not result in hospitalization or even severe symptoms. Stupid fucking people.
The main point concerning Covid is this: a person’s outcome if infected with covid is going to be about the same as if they were infected with the flu. If you weren’t wearing a mask to protect yourself or others from the flu during flu season, then it makes no sense to wear a mask to protect yourself or others from covid. In other words, the same people who are at risk of death if infected with covid are the same people who are at risk of death if infected with the flu.
I received my phenibut but still didn’t know where I was going to go. Go Puff gave me access to Scottsdale, AZ. I was thinking either going back to DFW or going back to Phoenix and if I was going to supplement whatever work I could find in Phoenix with Go Puff I think Scottsdale is upperclassish in that area. I was confident that I could find gig work phoenix and responded to a few ads. I decided to go back to DFW. The two main reasons are 1: the Arlington Go Puff seems to have more hours available, and 2: DFW has proven reliable as far as gig work is concerned. And a third is I suspected Phoenix may still have some restrictions in place and didn’t want to deal with the stress of being in an area where stupidity may be mandated, or more overtly prevalent and observable.
I have a Go Puff shift scheduled for 7am to noon tomorrow but there are usually hours dropped or added during the day so hopefully I’ll get another shift or find a gig tomorrow. I really need to find a cash gig to make sure my money is good until next Friday when I’ll get paid for this week’s Go Puff. And hopefully I’ll be able to get some more hours this week.
I downloaded the go puff app by mistake and looked at the prices. The prices are very reasonable about the cost you would find these items at gas stations. This is crazy to me because although I don’t know what deal Go Puff has worked out, maybe with the manufacturers or wholesalers, it just doesn’t seem like there is enough even with a delivery fee to cover the costs of overhead and make a profit.
I have two things I wanted to write about, one is Group Sunrise Event which is about a conversation I heard from people who were waking up to hike to see the sunrise which caused me to think about the expectations associated with events in a group setting. Another was addressing a study that reported 13% of hospitalized covid patients reported some level of cognitive issues, and 6% reported issues lingering after recovery. I’m a little tired and have to wake up early because I’m still an hour and a half from Arlington and I plan on waking up and getting a workout in. I also need to arrange my car so it’s Go Puff friendly. I know there are other things I want to write about as well but can’t think of them at the moment. I should have time on Christmas day because I don’t know if Go Puff is operating and it is unlikely that I’ll find work on that day.
I’ve sent about 20 to 25 solicitations of Camp Journal to book bloggers. I really need to get people to read my material and sell books to position myself to do anything else. Yes there is a lot of things I can do to promote but all of them begin with people or even another person. Until I have that I remain trapped.
12/25/2021
I worked the Go Puff shift from 7am to noon and was able to get hours from 3pm to 7pm and then 8:30pm to 1am. There was an ad on CL for a delivery driver for 6pm to 6am for Friday and Saturday paying a flat rate of $150 per day. Since I needed money to get me through the week I left my go puff shift at 5pm intending to work with that restaurant at least on Friday to get the 150 and perhaps on Saturday as well.
When I arrived there were about 8 people and a man telling people to download two apps. Wasn’t what I thought it was so I left and returned to finish off my day with go puff.
I did find a moving job for the next morning located in MIlsap. Hopefully I find some other jobs like this throughout the week although I am confident I have enough money to last me until Friday when I get paid from Go Puff.
I was feeling a little depressed yesterday. Part of it may have been due to the driver creating expectations that he did not fulfill. The pay was $20 an hour, the job lasted 4 hours and I was paid $80. When I arrived he said if you do well I’ll take care of you. In the gig world this means I’m going to throw you something on top of what was promised if you perform well and I performed well. As soon as he came out from the customer he said the customer didn’t tip which is probably a lie but even if it wasn’t I know how much he’s making, whether he’s just the carrier or if he’s the moving company. I felt played a little but couldn’t complain because I was paid what I agreed to work for.
I listened to some old rap music I liked listening to including some of my own music from years ago to boost my mood. I usually avoid the music which causes me to feel better when I’m low just because it does in part return me to periods in my life when my lifestyle was much different and that isn’t usually a good thing. As I absorb that energy I’m reminded how criminality furnished me the best opportunities of my life. In 7 years since abandoning the lifestyle in pursuit of a different path life has been hell. From 14 to 24 life was a mix between the hell of incarceration and the highs of being free and non-stop kicking it. I’d say maybe from 26 to 29 my life was decent in that I had time and money hustling and avoiding a lot of the wild shit that led to incarcerations.
I feel like I should publish balance in morality. Whatever I publish it doesn’t matter much anyway because my material doesn’t benefit from any attention, but my experience in the last 7 years has reminded me that the best opportunity for disadvantaged people who do not want to spend their live working to barely meet their needs is criminality. The reason this is true is because other people do not care. The general population takes no notice of the advantages they derive from the systems in place and how those systems produce trapping circumstances for others. They do not give a fuck about other people and I surmise that many see trapped and struggling people and feel good based on their comparative success.
As for me, I definitely don’t want to go back to jail at my age. The structure of having the county or the state presiding over my life will be difficult for me to accept and I would probably spend much of my time in the hole. This was my first prison term as well albeit for different reasons where I spent the bulk of my time in segregation for fighting and issues with staff. On the other side of it what do I do? Almost 40 years old I’m going to do what? Save some money, go back to Milwaukee and find a plug on some boy(heroin)? That would be my only move back to that lifestyle. Then maybe I funnel that money into financing other ambitions but the risks are great. It isn’t something I’m giving much thought to. I just never expected to be this old and to be in the position I am in.
Working this Go Puff gig which is the only consistent money I can make right now I probably won’t have to worry too much about any of this for much longer. These blood thinners may protect me for the next few weeks as I have 16 days of medication remaining but after this I don’t see how I avoid the remaining clot in my leg from eventually traveling to a my lungs, heart, or brain, or the formation of new clots based on my present circumstances from eventually producing the same result. My biggest concern is a stroke. My only fear is being alive with diminished cognitive functioning. Another pulmonary embolism or heart attack isn’t a good time, and if either one kills me that is an acceptable outcome, but to survive a stroke and being fucked up out here while I’m fucked up out here is concerning.
I used to think that at some point I’m going to be able to break out of this box. Of course that veiled optimism grows weaker as time goes on and I mention that I used to think this because today I don’t’ really believe it. This is a tyrant species who is primarily controlled through information, indoctrinated values, and the innate subconscious mechanism to reinforce their perspective to maintain their values. Any casual exposure I have to people or that any people have to my material leaves impressions that I am crazy, a crank, that I’m stupid, or some incorrect theory concerning my motivation as these small minded mother fuckers project their own values onto me, as in if they were doing or promoting what I am promoting they would be doing it for insert reason.
I returned to DFW because I needed to make money. Desperation caused in part by my perceived need to return to camping to be able to sleep outside of my car, and how this caused my money to deplete faster than I anticipated. Outside of this Texas in general is bad for the creation of material. I don’t know what it is but it seems like as soon as I leave Texas my mind clears a little bit and creativity flows more freely. I think about this based on recent experience. I went to OKC and immediately after seeing the homeless population it spurred thoughts about live marketing to address that issue and live marketing for the general public to supplement their income. Even in Las Cruces which fucked me up when I entered a Walmart and everyone was wearing a mask I had that great demonstration of liberty motivating behavior.(2) Camping and the clarity of mind that led to the observation of thoughts and decisions through Sequencing and Comparison and the criticism of popular naratives on talk radio. When I’m here I don’t even feel like writing and some of this probably has to do with my focus on getting money.
2: This was being in line and expressing to the customer who has only 1 item that I’d rather wait a little bit to avoid him having to wait a lot.
I sent out more sollicitations for book reviews and noticed that there was a bunch of errors in my sollicitation. It’s bad for more reasons than just how it looks in and of itself since my sollicitation consists of expressing how my material is ignored and then presenting a pitch that makes it seem like my material is ignored not because of the content, but because it is all poorly written.
I would say the greatest benefit of the pulmonary embolism is I no longer feel the need to contemplate suicide. I have this danger lurking probably not too far off that will remove me from this hell. I endure because I do recognize that although it is extremely unlikely, there is a chance that everything could change very fast if my material is read and understood. I hold out for that possibility and that is why I am sending submissions to these reviewers.
12/31/2021 Addressing the So Called Labor Shortage Through Immigration
I recently wrote an article about a job shortage in a labor market where there are more jobs than there are unemployed even with a generous assumption on the amount of people not in the workforce who would work if they could find a worthwhile job. Headlines read labor shortage but this is a fundamental misunderstanding of the market.
I provided three explanations, a lack of skill for the jobs that exist among job seekers, geographic imbalances where some places have many more jobs than job seekers, but other places have fewer jobs than job seekers, and inadequate compensation. The 1st and the 3rd are essentially the same and that is what I wanted to focus on.
If people in the workforce do not have the skills required for a job this is because the nature of the job lacks the value to draw interest for one to acquire the skills to perform the job. For jobs that cannot be filled because people don’t want to do them there is a compensation issue. A person will perform work they do not want to do if the work provides them with an adequate amount of money and time.
In the consumer market, if a product cannot sell because the consumer has a low opinion of the product we don’t say there is a consumer shortage. Jobs can be viewed the same way. If you have 11 million job openings and people who want jobs are not filling those openings you don’t have a labor shortage, you have a job shortage because people who want to work do not want those jobs. The same as if there were 11 million products that people wanted, but didn’t want those products because they were of poor quality or too expensive, we wouldn’t be trying to figure out what to do about the consumer shortage.
Obviously filling those 11 million positions are important to production and the general health of the economy and some of them are essential to maintaining and expanding the products and services demanded by consumers. What I would propose is a program that Americans received 1st priority in but would also serve as an instrument to facilitating legal immigration. Companies who cannot find labor for low skill positions who are able to offer long term employment would post the position with the agency. The agency would provide a loan for a prospective low skilled worker to apply to first months rent and security deposit and place people into these positions.
As an instrument of immigration we would offer a work visa that after 5 years of employment could be upgraded to citizenship. A person accepted into the program would be required to maintain employment for 5 years with no gaps exceeding something like 8 weeks otherwise they would be kicked out the program, have their visa revoked, and be deported. And there would be provisions where job changes could be possible through the agency. This serves the interests of industry in ensuring they have reliable labor, growing the economy through production and the migrants spending money into the economy, and ensuring the products and services demanded by consumers exist for them to purchase.
Industry can also work with the agency to fill anticipated high skill positions where the agency offers Americans and potentially migrants training and job placement.
Another purpose a program like this serves is in facilitating the balance stimulus. Empowering the bottom 50% of income earners with the means to 1 improve their income opportunities through education, training, credit repair, licensing, transportation, and the means to finance their business could exacerbate the difficulty in finding low skilled labor for undesirable jobs. In some respects it may lead to filling positions that few people are qualified for as some increase their human capital. Although Round Up Gratuity or Lowest Paid Employee wage disclosure are tactics industry could employ to attract low skilled labor to undesirable positions by substantially increasing wages and creating better opportunities for people to have time and money. But in the absence of these tactics an empowered bottom 50% of income earners would likely exacerbate the difficulty in finding low skilled workers for undesirable positions.
We grow the economy and defeat inflation through production by empowering the bottom 50% of income earners to create their own businesses and increasing their human capital.
We fill low skilled positions by implementing round up gratuity in industries that have a high volume of transactions. This increases the wages of other industries that rely on low skilled labor by providing low skilled laborers with opportunities to make more money that will cause other industries to increase wages to compete for low skilled laborers with the high volume transaction sector.
We fill the remaining low skilled positions by creating an immigration work program.
1/26/2022
This page states that I haven’t had time to keep up on the Daily Journal because I’ve been busy with work and recording videos which is mostly true, but I have written a few entries that I’ve taken down because they pertain to my life experiences without anything substantive concerning current events and topics. Secondly, the narratives do not change and are variations of the same things with new happenings. This means providing commentary on the media is very repetitive because the facts and functions that address the same things in old happenings address the same things in new happenings. How many times do I have to restate the same things?
For example, today I turned on talk radio. It was an NPR program featuring someone who works for the New York Times and I forget the name or the capacity with which he is employed. To my surprise he did make some very relevant points on the topic of covid, mainly how politicized perspectives are. I caught the program from the point where he stated that the most protected are the most concerned, those who are vaccinated and boosted are the most concerned, those who are vaccinated and not boosted are slightly less concerned, and those who are unvaccinated are not concerned at all. His point in mentioning this is that those who are the most protected should not be the most concerned, stating that since they believe the science about the danger of covid (including variants) they should believe the science that states they are protected by the vaccines and even if infected they will have a less severe outcome.
The issue is as I mentioned in the Covid-19 Media Project Summary video is a person who believes science doesn’t understand anything. Science is something that is not to be believed, science is something that has to be understood and this demonstrates the ignorance of people in this country, and is further illustrated as he proceeds in citing statistics about people’s views in this country where democrats tend to believe the virus is more dangerous than it is and republicans believe it is less dangerous. This is because as I often state, what a person believes is based on what that person likes, consuming perspective reinforcing information and ignoring and avoiding information that challenges beliefs. Positive feeling in the former, and a negative feeling in the latter as the latter threatens an individual’s value of objects including value of self. Which is why I am where I am in this world.
He mentions how preventative measures, restrictions, have saved lives and for the first time I’ve heard someone from the left mention the costs. He mentions the rise of violent crime, mental health issues, problems for children being prevented from going to school, increases in overdose deaths, among other issues. Where does this put me? It puts me in a position to restate the data from the CDC, the science, that lives have not been saved. Perhaps the lives of the very old and very sick have been extended for a year or slightly longer, but no lives have been saved in the sense that someone who would otherwise live for decades is gone because of covid. The explanation of this conclusion through the data is available in the introduction on the Covid 19 Media Project (which can be viewed on the product page without purchase) as well as many other places.
It appears the left has sold the masks they needed to sell, sold the vaccines they are going to sell as well as enough boosters and anticipated boosters, and given enough sector specific industry advantages that they’re ready to begin molding the minds of the ignorant back to a place where they can feel safe again. It’s a tough road because for the last 2 years you’ve been omitting “the who” dies from covid in an effort to create fear to serve a party and industrial interest. Now you have to sell the same people on the protection of the vaccines but the problem is these people know the vaccines are not 100% effective, and they also know that being vaccinated does not necessarily prevent severe symptoms. I know two people who were infected with covid, both were vaccinated, my daughter and her mother. My daughter is 16. Her symptoms were very mild, but her mother was pretty sick for about 2 weeks.
Last year when I was in Vegas and I was looking for a new room to rent I was explaining covid to a person who I was initially interested in renting a room from. They replied to an email I sent by saying that anyone can die of covid without explanation, and without acknowledging any of the points I made through the CDC data I presented. As I stated many times before the exaggeration of danger has also been the omission of who can die if infected with covid and convincing people the virus is randomly deadly. If this person, or one of the many people like this person knows someone like my daughter’s mother who was vaccinated and was as sick as she became for about 2 weeks, they will think a vaccinated person who is healthy can still potentially die if infected with covid. As of September 2021 with a year and a half worth of data, out of 17 million cases there were 13 deaths of healthy people aged 0 to 39, and not dramatically more as we climb the age range until we reach over 75 and especially over 85. More importantly the survival rate of people with underlying medical conditions is also high where the stage of the condition and overall health of the person is determinative of severe outcome, not the presence.
He also mentions how over 60% of democrats acknowledge that children are not at risk for severe outcomes if infected with covid, but still most democrats support online learning as opposed to sending children back to school despite the harm incurred by children from not physically going to school. This has to do with another point he mentions where the mask is a badge, that they believe the science and the point being to protect others from covid. These democrats, even those who have a shred of sense enough to acknowledge that covid does not pose much of a risk to children, do not have sense enough to know that covid does not pose much of a risk to the general population. Roughly 99% of the population cannot die if infected. The reasoning for 99% is based on about 20% of the population having underlying medical conditions that create a risk for death, heart disease, COPD, diabetes, and some fringe conditions, when hospitalized survive about 93.5% of the time. The general population was hospitalized at a rate that was about 20% including people with underlying medical conditions although this is an old number taken from a time when testing was in short supply and people not at risk were not tested, and many were not diagnosed because they didn’t have symptoms that were severe enough to seek medical treatment. While I’m sure that number has come way down by now, let’s use that number and multiply it by 2.5. We’ll say that 50% of people with underlying medical conditions are hospitalized and have a 6.5% fatality rate. 20% of the population have serious underlying medical conditions, half are hospitalized if infected with covid which is 10% of the population. 6.5% of 10% is .65%. Add to it the very advanced at age that do not overlap with those who have serious underlying medical conditions and we’re still coming in under a full percent who are at risk of dying if infected with covid. Again citations and further explanation is available in the book Covid-19 Media Project.
Do you see how tedious this is? Do you know how many times I’ve not only written something very similar to what I’ve written here but also cited the data in different places?
They’re trying to create confidence in the vaccines to ensure their pharmaceutical donors can still sell vaccines and return the bewildered herd back to their normal grazing to improve other areas. Again, it’s difficult to do when you’ve been lying through the implications of dramatic impressions and omission to people who are too stupid to understand things for themselves for the last two years. It is stupidity, a conscious decision to reinforce bias through the consumption of selective information and the disregarding of critical thought. This doesn’t apply exclusively to the left, as I’ve stated on many other occasions: Just because you take the right position doesn’t mean you’re taking it for the right reasons. Many people on the right are just as ignorant as the people on the left, but accept different authorities for the reinforcement of a different perspective. The right is as much at fault for the ignorance of the left as the left is in the promotion of idiocy regarding covid and vaccines that causes the positions of the left to seem legitimate.
2/5/2022
I returned to DFW to renew my registration and distributed about 3000 flyers between Chandler AZ and Dallas, TX. After renewing my registration I intended to finish distributing the roughly 8000 flyers I have remaining throughout the south. Destinations included Little Rock, Memphis, Birmingham, Jackson, and probably some other places along the way. This plan was thwarted by inclimate weather including snow and very cold temperatures at night. This isn’t an issue in and of itself but since I spend a majority of nights sleeping in my car weather is an issue. So I decided to return to Phoenix since it is one of the few places in the United States that isn’t very cold at the moment. I originally came to Phoenix to save money to prepare to campaign in the spring in the midwest.
In the past week I went from Phoenix to DFW and now back to Phoenix. I’ve been playing poker to earn money which has positioned me to have a little more this week than I had at the same time last week. I won a tournament for $200, took second in another tournament for about $350, and won another tournament for about $350. It takes a lot of my time and I would prefer to be promoting and creating material. Despite my winnings, my luck in poker is horrible. By this I mean I tend to lose hands from positions where the hand wins about 90% of the time, about 50% of the time or less. Some of this comes from the stakes I play which are typically low buy in tournaments where really bad players make really bad decisions and luck out on me more than they should.
I’m still looking for gig work and although I know I’m better than average I cannot rely on poker as a source for income. Yesterday I had $35 left over from the $650 I cashed out the previous day and ended the day at about $65. I’m typically able to place enough or win enough sit and gos to gain a little or break even but in order to make money I have to make final tables.
Yesterday I heard a story on the radio about a police officer who punched a 13 year old girl. Officers were making an arrest of suspects in an apartment complex who stole a car. One of the suspects was resisting and residents with an anti-police disposition were gathered antagonizing police and obstructing the arrest; initially refusing lawful orders to maintain a safe distance and then the 13 year old punched a female officer in the face. The officer who was described as roughly the same size as the 13 year old responded by punching her back.
I had a few thoughts related to the story as to the motivation of the teen who struck the officer, the appropriateness of the response, and a response to the analysis related to the story. The motivation of the child is the anticipation of admiration and respect from her peers. Image promotion is one’s perception that an action will increase others opinion of them which feels good because it increases their self worth in perceiving themselves as someone who others value. There are other positive feelings that come from social opportunities and perceived esteem within the group.
In the decision making process there is the value of the objective which is rooted in image promotion that exceeds the value of objectives that will be harmed by the consequences of striking the officer. The objective isn’t to prevent the officers from arresting the suspect. She knows 1 she will be overpowered, and 2 she will be arrested, but her perception of how others will view her for assaulting the officer exceeds these consequences and the impact these consequences will have on other objectives The motivation is image promotion.
The action of the officer responding as she did is completely appropriate and lawful. At the moment the teen strikes the officer she has committed a crime and the nature of the crime creates a reasonable belief that force will be necessary to take the teen into custody and make an arrest based on probable cause. As mentioned on the program the officer is approximately the same size and does not know the age of the perpetrator. Yet even if the officer did know the age of the perpetrator what else should she have done? Tell the teen who clearly doesn’t respect her authority she is under arrest and place her hands behind her back? Should she go hands on without striking her? And if she is unable to take the teen to the ground the teen will continue assaulting her. And if she is able to take the teen to the ground what are the chances that the other residents present will not follow her lead and interfere with her apprehension creating an even more dangerous situation for the police?
The person being interviewed on the radio reviews the use of force by police for a living in some official capacity but I forget his title. He mentioned that people see 10 or 20 second clips of footage that doesn’t tell the whole story. The implications of the statement are that if people knew the whole story they would reach different conclusions about these kinds of events. That isn’t the issue. If you give someone the option to see the whole story or to see a clip that reinforces their perspective they’re going to choose the information they want to be true, not the information that is true. This is what I am talking about when I am talking about self deception. Reinforcement feels good, and challenges feel bad because the changing of what is true changes the assignments of value or what a person likes. This is why the subconscious imposes negative feelings when one is confronted with challenging information and creates justifications to avoid challenging information. For example, if one hears about this story that an officer punched a teen, or sees only the clip of the officer punching the teen and someone tries to show them the whole incident or explain to them why the act is appropriate they may respond that they don’t care what happend an adult should never punch a child. In this they can avoid exposure to the whole story and anything beyond the isolated understanding of the event becomes irrelevant. This is a justification to protect their position, their perspective, their values, and their self worth, which is tied to identity, which is tied to their truth (or assignments of true and false to objects.)
The last portion of this story I wanted to comment on was the assertion that communities are safer when the community cooperates with police and less safe when the community does not cooperate with police. Cooperate may not have been the word they used, but the sentiment was that when the community has a good relationship with the police the community is safer. The relationship the community has with police typically depends on income levels within the community which also has to do with how much protection the community requires from people within the community who create threats to be protected from. People in communities where people have comfortable incomes have better relationships with the police because they want their persons and property protected. These communities are generally safer because comfortable incomes create environments where children develop productive interests and do not turn to criminality for opportunity, or do not engage in criminality for inherent pleasures that cannot be gained through productive endeavors.
I’ve written about his repeatedly citing studies that show the pre incarceration median income of incarcerated people is about half the median income of the general population, that there is a direct correlation not just in the United States, but globally, between income inequality and crime, and that the lower the household income is that a male is born into, the greater the likelihood that he will be in prison in his 30s. If we’re talking about making communities safer, or even if we’re talking about improving community relationships with police we have to be talking about increasing income opportunities for the bottom 40 to 50% of income earners. Even the position that the police are a force of tyranny is a position that comes from distracting from class goals and stems from underclass discontent and a place to channel that discontent.
This is why I say and it is true that all problems are a product of self deception and inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money. This is why I channel my efforts into promoting explanations of political, economic, and behavioral function, and solutions to address inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money. This is why the soap opera narratives created by politicians and the media that keep the people of this country entranced in deception and irrelevancy is largely unimportant. I spent a year addressing the soap opera narratives and people didn’t care because it didn’t reinforce their perceptions. Much of that is in the book Understanding Political Function Through Recent Political History 2019 -2020.
2/10/2022
On my drive from the gym to the rest area I caught a few minutes of an NPR broadcast and among what was discussed was rising inflation and expectations that prices will not reverse. Around the time of the 3rd Covid stimulus I wrote that the small amounts provided to too broadly qualifying segments of the population would be insignificant in the short term and make the poor poorer in the long term. In a year’s time we artificially spent roughly 6 trillion dollars providing money for business and many people who really didn’t need it. My main concern about the senseless restrictions, excessive spending, and rising inflation is how it serves as an obstacle to a balance stimulus if the idea ever entered the public consciousness.
I know the solution to inflation is a balance stimulus but I anticipate economists will claim it will lead to even greater inflation. However, what economists and I agree on is that inflation is reduced through over supply. In addition to helping people overcome income impediments centered around employment opportunities and increasing skills will be an explosion of small businesses. Along with this explosion of small businesses will be consumer diversion from large businesses to these new small businesses as small business owners support one another. This diversion of consumer attention from large to new small businesses will force large companies to reduce prices.
After the commentary on inflation they mentioned that Pfizer made more money off of their vaccine than any other pharmaceutical product in history. That’s what this has been about. I believe the number is 39 billion dollars.
A few days ago my right leg began hurting. The following day I woke up at 4:45am and the pain was so severe I couldn’t fall asleep. This was similar to how my leg was feeling in the days prior to my pulmonary embolism in December. I was supposed to remain on blood thinners for at least 3 months but I didn’t want to spend the money on the prescription. As I expected they found blood clots in my leg.
I was given a coupon for another 30 day supply of the blood thinners but apparently this was how the hospital in December got the first 30 day supply for me. I wasn’t going to get the blood thinners. I figured I’ll go until I get another PE and if I survive they can keep me in the hospital for a few days and pump me full of the blood thinners and that should buy me some time again. The next morning when I got out of my car to walk to the restroom I was limping and in a good amount of pain. I searched the internet for a coupon since full price is $770 and found a discount for $594. I had to spend roughly 1/3 of my money to relieve the pain in my leg and possibly to prolong my life.
2/12/2022
I left Phoenix and have resumed flier distribution, distributing only about 250 in Amarillo, TX, and probably about 1000 in the OKC area. The effort has been an exercise in futility, attracting page hits but I’ve failed to attract any serious attention. By serious attention there has been no downloads of free books, requests for books, book sales, questions, video hits, and only one comment.
The comment was left by someone who may have viewed the preview of one book and presumed it is my entire mission. He also said he can’t figure out which side of the coin I am on. I responded to him but if he was really interested in knowing he could have spent a few minutes reading some of the articles on the website it would have probably given him a better idea. That isn’t how people function. He cannot look at the content and judge it based on merit. He has to know if I subscribe to the same view and if I do then he’ll be receptive to what I’m saying, and if not then he isn’t interested in anything. He doesn’t know how to feel about anything on the site because it hasn’t been covered, or no one has told him how he should feel about it.
I recently replied to an ad to assist a contractor on some landscaping projects in the Casa Grande area before I decided I wanted to finish distributing these flyers across the south. In my response to the ad I provided a summary of work experience and a general idea of what I’m trying to accomplish long term in the political, economic, and behavioral content. He replied to me that he had some plant projects coming up and asked if I was left or right and to not say middle of the road. It’s relevant to whether or not he wants to retain my services since presumably being on the right wouldn’t want to listen to someone bringing left wing talking points to work everyday.
I was at the gym and was putting together my reply in between sets and as it typically does the answer becomes a lecture. The reason being is I am where liberty is greatest and where the truth is as a product of motion. Truth as a product of motion is the observation of causes that produce effects. Neither side is consistent with liberty and truth, so how can I associate myself with a side? My political content aside from the proposal of solutions is largely a product of addressing popular misconceptions promoted by the left as well as by the right. The best explanation I can provide is the main problems I have with each side which in summary barely scratches the surface of what is wrong with people in this country.
The biggest problem I have with the left is 1: the division of the underclasses through the baseless promotion of race, gender, and sexuality as a source of disadvantage, 2; wasteful spending on ideas that do not improve the lives of economically disadvantaged people in this country, 3: the diversion of attention from the disatisfaction of people in this country that cause them to want to harm others indiscriminately to the weapons they use, 4: the brainwashing of ignorant people in this country by inserting the word science in front of opinions that cause people to accept non-factual opinions as fact, 5: claiming to be concerned about the interest of the public when the democrats serve the interests of industry, and rank and file left, mainstream, and the extreme promote their causes for self serving purposes not the purposes of addressing the causes they purport concern for. If i wasn’t scrawling this out at a Taco Bell I could certainly add to this and my content more specifically addresses these general grievances.
The problems I have with the right are as follows 1: subscription to a nationalist view of their country that wrongly places responsibility for individuals failures on the individuals shoulders, failing to acknowledge the wealth of data that shows the correlation between a child’s development and household income, household income and the likelihood that one will become a criminal, and the basic law of cause and effect that a decision begins with circumstances. 2: Their general indifference to the circumstances produced by the systems that they benefit from. I’m not talking about the charity, where the pleasure is inherent in the act, I am talking about not supporting ideas to allow people to position themselves to have better income opportunities. 3: The blaming of mental health issues with random acts of violence because they refuse to accept responsibility for the kind of people their country produces that want to randomly harm people. 4: Their illogical religious explanations for existence that are detrimental to everybody. 5: Generally, my problem with the right is they believe that things are good because things have typically been good for them and other people who they know. They credit their deity, their country, and their own superiority for their accomplishments without acknowledging their circumstantial advantages and opportunities, material opportunities as well as developmental opportunities. Again I could go on but much of this is covered in my material and I’ve been in this Taco for awhile now.
People still will try to push me into one box or the other despite not fitting. What did Jesus say happens when you put new wine into old bags? The new wine is still fermenting and bursts the old bags that have already been stretched to their limits. To put me in one box or another they’ll try to categorize me through issues, but even when they do this where ever I fall I arrive there for different reasons based on consistency with the morality of liberty, and other times my position is entirely different than the position of both sides.
I’ll clean this up as time permits. I’m heading to my next city.
02/19/2022
I did a little bit of distribution in Little Rock and Memphis, probably in the neighborhood of a 1000 flyers combined. I intended to do more in Little Rock but I had a difficult time finding shopping centers that had a high enough concentration of cars for it to be worthwhile. The purpose of this entry isn’t to recap, it’s more of a decompression from an observation.
After sleeping in Jasper, AL I headed to Birmingham to distribute flyers. I entered a grocery store into Googlemaps and returned a result of Angel Food Mart. My route was blocked by a train that stopped on the tracks and I could see that there was no shopping center and if this store existed in the space it was listed to exist in it was probably a cornerstone.
There was a Piggly Wiggly up the street so I turned around and proceeded in that direction. Upon reaching the Pig it was a small parking lot with few cars. I drove around and it was on par with some of the worst looking places I have seen. Areas of Little Rock, Gary, Detroit, where you have abandoned structures, half structures looking bombed out, and in general just looked impoverished.
I kept driving, eventually reaching the downtown area. I googled shopping centers and saw there was a place called Mountain Mall. I missed a turn that brought me up a winding hill filled with the houses of the affluent and I reached an area with coffee shops and eateries with patrons sitting outside and new luxury vehicles on the streets.
I was somewhat saddened and then angered by the contrast. I don’t like to experience saddening empathetic feelings so I channel it into anger.
I understand as a function of systems and motion that an individual’s decision making process begins with circumstances. An individual’s ability to develop intellectually and interests that lead to skills, good decision making, and opportunity begins with a household environment that is not overly consumed by economic stress. There are certainly exceptions that are presented to the public as the norm but they are exceptions. Evidenced by social mobility where 2/3rds of those who begin in the bottom 40% of the income distribution will remain in the bottom 40% of the income distribution, as well as the median preincarceration income of incarcerated people being about half the median income of the general population.
An individual’s circumstances and development are determined by systems, and in our economic system an individual’s ability to improve or create income opportunities are largely determined by that individuals access to money. Systems exist by way of collective consent and participation. Consent is a product of an individual’s benefit from the system, the opportunities furnished by the system for an individual to have time and money or to be doing work they want to do. Participation is either a product of the benefit, or it is a product of survival.
Trapping circumstances exist when an individual’s income opportunities are roughly equal to expenses and require a great deal of that person’s available time. Because if a person spends most of their time working a job that does not allow them to accumulate money, and money is required to improve their opportunities for income and time then they are trapped.
The indifference of the advantaged to the systems that produce benefits for them and traps others brings responsibility upon those advantaged individuals. I said to myself as I drove, there are going to be a lot of people who are surprised when they die and that responsibility is brought to their attention. Since systems produce circumstances and one benefits from systems that trap others, that is collective imposition on those trapped individuals. Tyranny imposed through indifference.
I give you the explanation of what you’re told through the fictional accounts of your false deity “It’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven”. Of course heaven isn’t a kingdom. I wouldn’t make this parallel but considering the depth of the subscription to the Christian superstition in this part of the country it seems appropriate and beneficial.
This brings me back to a comment I received while distributing flyers in Oklahoma City. I was asked what the flyer was about and I replied it’s the promotion of ideas to increase income opportunities for the bottom 50% of income earners. He said “bottom 50%”?
In retrospect I perceived this seemingly insignificant comment almost as a scoff, or the inflection implied that I am promoting divisiveness along class lines. Of course that is not what I am trying to do. If an individual has time and money they have the resources to acquire the know-how, and with time, money, and know how a person can do what they want to do. This is why most human problems are a product of inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money, because the human constant is that all people want to do what they want to do at all times.
This website and my mission is more than just improving income opportunities for people in this country, I also aim to educate and create self awareness through a better understanding of behavior and a more objective perception of reality. But, for improving income opportunities, many of the ideas will do this for people in the jobs they already have, none of it requires animosity towards the affluent, none of it requires raising their taxes, and none of it requires imposing on their property. In fact, from the affluent and even the marginally wealthy all I ask is for their attention to these issues, their willingness to understand these problems, and their support for achieving objectives that will correct imbalances. And correcting imbalances serves the interests of the affluent and marginal wealth because it will reduce and eliminate the costs associated with economic inequality. Also, a more prosperous underclass produces more prosperity for the upper classes.
Outside of this support their responsibility for what exists is still imposition, and I find solace in understanding the consequences for that imposition through indifference.
If I cried, I would have cried based on what I felt from driving from the one area to the other, it was a vivid representation of my flyer and understanding. But this world and people are soft enough, and I’m not contributing to that shit.
02/22/2022
500 flyers when I was distributing them in Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona used to produce about 30 page hits. After distributing flyers in Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Alabama 500 flyers produced in the neighborhood of 0 to 2 page hits. Needless to say I’ve ceased distributing flyers in the south. If I had taken the Bill Hicks joke seriously I could have anticipated these kind of results. He was in a Waffle House reading near Fife, AL and a man in truckers hat approaches and says “well, looks like we got ourselves a reader”. He responds in thought what the fuck it’s a book, it isn’t like I came to a Klan rally in a Boy George outfit.
My impressions of this region are almost exclusively based on stereotypes, I haven’t had any substantial interaction, only the results from the flyers and casual interaction when purchasing goods.
I haven’t been doing much the last few days but playing poker. I have been troubled by the last journal entry I wrote. The emotions I felt were largely a product of a lack of sleep and probably some minor phenibut withdrawal. The entry is accurate so I’m not troubled by the content otherwise I would have removed it. I’m troubled by feeling that way. It’s a way I haven’t felt in a long time.
I wanted to clarify just a few things from that entry. First, when I mention empathy that empathy isn’t specific to people in the first area. The contrast did produce the emotion and indignation but it wasn’t those people in the first area and the seeming indifference of the well to do in the second area which is largely responsible for the condition of the people in the first area. It was just a visually symbolic experience, where those who are trapped, struggling, or impoverished in this country are in these conditions because of the indifferent masses. That’s what that 2/19 entry is actually about, not people living in the hills south of downtown Birmingham or the people north of downtown Birmingham.
2/25/2022
This journal entry and the next 3 or so are more or less substanceless. The journal originally consisted of commentary on political happenings but due to changes in my priorities the content has shifted. This shift is the result of accepting that my circumstances will not change. If you’re looking for a sample of something substantive skip the next few entries.
I ordered phenibut to a hotel in Mississippi and had UPS hold it at a UPS facility. It was a minor ordeal picking it up. When I arrived at the UPS facility I was told I had to have a mask to pick up my package. Fortunately there was a man entering the facility who gave me a mask after I asked to purchase one from him. Otherwise I probably would have had to drive at least a few miles to purchase one.
I waited about 10 minutes before I was informed that my package was not held at the facility and was loaded on a truck. I went to the delivery address and called the number I was given for dispatch. Dispatch informed me that the driver would look for the package and call me. After an hour of not receiving a call I called dispatch back who told me the driver did have my package and should have called me. She told me she was going to call the driver and have him call me. She probably didn’t. I waited about 10 more minutes and I saw a UPS truck pull into a hotel nearby. I was concerned he was delivering my package to the wrong hotel but he came to my location after leaving that hotel and I received my package.
I do not like the south. Everywhere people want to remind you that they’re irrational small minded non-thinking brainwashed vessels of other people’s interests by affirming their religious idiocy. The little bit of flyering I’ve done has yielded even less in the way of results than other locations. I wanted to return to the midwest. I traveled north on 55 but when I made my way north of Memphis it was cold and everything was covered in ice.
I turned around planning on going to the coast, maybe Biloxi or Mobile, but going south on 55 I ended up on 40 west. I have been through this area so many times in the last 5 months and I really don’t want to be here. It doesn’t really matter where I’m at, it’s really just a matter of my perception. I’m in Texarkana planning to hold tight for a few days and hopefully spring will arrive soon.
I think I nearly gave myself a heart attack yesterday. I made a bad decision yesterday in a poker tournament, and this came after a few days of some very bad beats. I go into vocal rages when improbable things happen repeatedly. Mind you, I’m not losing money, it’s more about the feeling that I’m being cheated by the software or something else because statistically, it seems impossible that things are 1 in 20 chances could happen 80% of the time, or even things that are 1 in 4 chances could happen 90% of the time for such a long period of time.
After I made a stupid decision(1) that cost me at least $28, Arkansas has a rest area that must be entered from the left lane. I went into the left lane and there was a semi in the left lane behind me who went into the right lane and then intentionally swerved close to me to go around me which set me off further. In fact I initially was going to catch up to him, go in front of him and then go slow, but instead I pulled into the rest area so I could begin playing better poker (2).
1: The tournament paid 99 spots, there was 104 people left in the tournament. Within about 5 minutes we’d be in the money with the 99th spot paying about 26 dollars. I was towards the middle as far as chip rankings. I had about 18 big blinds worth of chips, I think I had about 360k and blinds were 15k/30k. The hand before I had some pocket pair or I had KQ or something. I raised 60k and the BB called me. I missed the flop and bet 60k post flop. The guy I bet had less than 150k in chips so if he also missed the flop it was a good bet that he wouldn’t call. He didn’t and I won the pot. The next hand I’m in 3rd position right after the BB. I have AK. I raise it to 60k again. I have action going on in other tournaments so I go to those tables and come back. When I come back I’m raised all in by a stack that has me covered about 2 to 1 in chips. In this position unless you have AA, at this stage in the tournament you should fold. Part of me is thinking he’s jamming with AQ or AJ thinking that I’m just out here trying to steal blinds. I was pretty sure he had a pair.
2: I don’t play poker well when I’m driving.
At the rest area I took my frustration out on other truck drivers, just talking general shit about truck drivers looking at some of the drivers and within ear shot. I only mention this story because during the night I heard a knock on my window. It was a truck driver who couldn’t get out because of where I was parked. This rest area has about 15 feet between where the cars park and where the semis park. Other cars were parked perpendicular to the parking lines whereas I was parked within them. I was initially irritated saying something to the effect that you’re going to wake me up while I’m sleeping because you don’t know how to drive? He just said it’s 53 foot vehicle, I didn’t design this place. I couldn’t argue with the logic, and making things hard on him for what someone else within his profession did to me doesn’t make a lot of sense. So I moved and went back to sleep.
My chest hurts. It wasn’t just yesterday but for probably a week I lost my shit over some hands during these runs of bad luck. It isn’t about chips in a tournament and it isn’t about losing money, it’s more about improbable things happening much more frequently than they should and it angers me. It’s a metaphor for my discontent on this planet, where there’s just too much wrong that should be right. Over the last few weeks I’ve deposited 3 times, the total being less than $100 and I’ve cashed out about $1500. This is what I’m doing to try to maintain myself and if I can get up enough, maybe I can return and develop a new strategy for the development and promotion of material.
I did catch some talk radio driving through Mississippi. As Mississippi’s legislature will be voting on decreasing income tax there was a Republican pitchman, or representative trying to connect lower income tax to increased investment and job creation as these things are often miscorrelated. To do this he provided a very poor example of Meta choosing Idaho for a data center and claiming the location was selected because Idaho has low income taxes.
The problem with the claim is a data center doesn’t actually produce anything that generates profit but facilitates the ability of the company to make money through it’s businesses based in other locations. The location isn’t chosen because the company is trying to shield profits from higher income tax states, it’s likely chosen based on research showing there are qualified employees in the area and an advantageous labor market. Any correlation between low income taxes and companies choosing to do business in those states is more likely a reflection of overall policy that produces advantageous labor markets. A state that is able to lower taxes is typically a state that has pro business pro wealth policies that produce labor markets where people will work for less than the national average. While I do not doubt that Mississippi has been and will continue to be a place that companies will choose to invest in, it’ll have more to do with the state having the lowest median income in the country than it does about lower income taxes.
3/08/2022
I took a moment to observe how uptight I’ve been for the last few months. The obvious cause is the circumstances of having one foot in fucked and another foot in really fucked and leaning in that direction.
I have about $500. I’ve sustained myself for the last month exclusively through poker. I’ve been looking for gig work but I was also moving to distribute flyers. The past week I’ve been moving to avoid inclimate weather.
I’ve been working on a movie script. The movie applies the morality of liberty to the survival of consciousness after death to determine the space appropriate for the deceased. The story begins with a car accident producing two fatalities. Their consciousness survives and one goes to the space of liberty while the other goes to the space of tyranny. The twist is in the beginning while the deceased are going through their briefing it is difficult to tell who is where.
During the briefings all questions about life, existence, religion, and how the spaces of liberty and tyranny are used by those who occupy them.
Dialogue for the Libertee and the Tyrant is very easy since it is largely taken from my material. But dialogue for the survived and dialogue that makes for an entertaining story is very difficult to write. When 1 survived should develop a fearful disposition, it is difficult for me to go to a place where I could experience the fear that the character is experiencing. I can’t think of what someone would say since I don’t have that emotional range. The other issue is the sense of curiosity and wonder someone would have if they died and regained consciousness disembodied. Then they were greeted by beings who began to tell them things. I’m unable to imagine the sense of awe and surprise that the characters should experience in such a moment.
I also pick apart the religious explanation for existence.
I’m almost through with the bare bones run through. This is basically the story, events, and briefing explanations from the Libertee and the Tyrant. I probably won’t use any of the dialogue from the survived. I have them saying generic things within the briefing to get to the points of the briefing but it’s really just designed to get through the briefing. Once I finish these bones I’ll go through and begin expanding on the scenes and trying to create entertaining and credible dialogue. I’m not sure how long this will take.
My money is low so I will need to play some poker.
I headed to St. Louis, mainly because it’s out of the south and large enough where I should be able to find some gig work. Unfortunately, it became very cold all of the sudden. This is a problem because I need to walk around because of deep vein thrombosis. Secondly it’s a cost and uncomfortable when you’re sleeping in your car.
I left Mississippi a few weeks ago planning on heading to some Midwest destination, believing spring was close enough. After Tennessee everything was covered in ice so I went to Texarkana and stayed there for 4 or 5 days. I checked the national weather map and I thought it showed mild temperatures for the next 10 days in this area but it’s pretty cold out.
Today I turned on my heater and nothing happened. I was able to tap the blower motor and it turned on but that trick isn’t going to last very long.
I’m tempted to return to Dallas since I’ve been able to find gig work there in the past, the last time I was there I didn’t find anything, and I originally left Dallas because I couldn’t find gig work there. But prior to that I’ve found work there.
I’m near Cape Girardeau, MO, and I need to be somewhere warmer. The problem is I don’t want to be in any of the nearby places that are warmer. Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas or Texas.
It’s difficult to know where to go when you have no place to go. I do need to make some money, and one of those places has a better reputation for that than the rest.
Then again maybe a few days of playing poker can can reduce my need to find gig work.
In the last 3 weeks I’ve cashed out about $1300 on a total of $85 deposited, (25, 30, and 30 dollar deposits) which isn’t a lot of money but it’s sustained me.
I really don’t like to play it. It’s a game that punishes the right decisions and rewards the wrong decisions. This is why I no longer play on Ignition because abnormal happenings seem to be normal occurrences on their RNG software.
3/12/2022
Just a few thoughts considering what should be done to protect the economy and the quality of life for the bottom 50% of income earners from oil price volatility and inflation. If the disadvantaged are spending more money on fuel this leaves less money for discretionary spending and less money for essentials. Economic growth is impacted by one sector of the economy absorbing money that would otherwise circulate across the broader market and lead to more impactful reinvestment.
To protect the disadvantaged and economic growth fuel prices should be subsidized. People within higher income brackets don’t like paying high prices for fuel either, but they can afford it and it does not significantly change their spending capabilities or willingness to spend. There’s collective value to economy because the more money people are spending, the more services are provided, the more products are manufactured, assembled, shipped, and sold, and the more opportunities there are to make money when people have money to spend. A gas subsidy for individuals making less than 38,000 per year benefits everyone, not only those receiving it.
This is how it would work. A person whose individual income is below the median individual income will save their gas receipts. In intervals of their choosing, daily, weekly, monthly, annually, they will submit their receipts and be reimbursed the difference between what they paid and their subsidized price, up to 100 gallons of gas per week.
We have 5 deciles within the bottom 50%, and I was considering different prices for different income deciles, but I believe this extreme measure for fairness would compromise the execution of the rebate process. Mix ups and extra verification for which person, in which decile, is receiving which price. The benefit is minimal. Consider a scenario where the 5 deciles are 10 cents apart, it would be a difference of only 50 cents between the top and the bottom. This averages out to .25 per gallon less for the bottom, potentially 25 dollars per week and less for the next 2 deciles, 15 and 5 cents difference respectively. It isn’t worth the effort or the cost of creating potential problems where people are getting the wrong rate, and all the personnel required to handle those issues.
One rate for everyone in the bottom 50 percent of income earners. This may be too ambitious or maybe not ambitious enough, but I believe anyone in the bottom 50% of the individual income distribution should never pay more than $2.50 per gallon of gas up to 100 gallons per week.
I’m currently in Western Tennessee. Gas is about $4 per gallon. A person in the bottom 50% of the income distribution if they used 100 gallons in a week would be eligible for up to a $150 rebate.
We have three issues that need to be addressed. The first is the anticipated increase in the demand for gas if the price were subsidized for the bottom 50% of the income distribution. In many cases the price of gas increasing is a product of demand exceeding production. Some of this stress on the market can be relieved by people purchasing less of it as the price increases. If you have a high price for gas because production is low, but half the country is still purchasing it at the lower price this would drive prices even higher. The only way this really becomes a problem is if supply can not maintain demand for any price, or if the prices rise so high that the unsubsidized cannot afford it without changing their spending habits. In other words if the price became high enough to the unsubsidized to do what it presently does to the economically disadvantaged.
The second issue that needs to be addressed is the impact subsidizing gas would have on demand, and how that increased demand will contribute to increasing carbon emissions and global warming. As is the case with most activist fervor they think straining 1000 gnats is somehow the equivalent of a camel. What I mean by this is if we’re not beginning with grid energy, and I’m not talking about increasing to 20% of energy from renewable sources in 10 years, I mean 95% or the maximum feasible percentage to maintain the required amount of energy, in a shorter period of time. See Understanding Political Function Through Recent Political History 2019-2020 for details on that. The point is no amount of cap and trade or regulations for efficiency is going to reduce carbon emissions enough to avoid 2 degrees of warming by the end of the century. Without a rapid transition to renewable grid energy we’re going to reach that point by the end of the century and then beyond. The potential for a slight increase in emissions as a result of the subsidy doesn’t impact our climate trajectory, but it will have a significant impact on the lives and liberty of financially disadvantaged people.
The third issue is how do you protect the program from fraud and abuse? There’s no real way to prevent abuse if someone qualifies for the subsidy. You can require that they use their debit card on purchases, but people can get cash from others and use their debit card to pay for the gas and get the rebate. There’s two things to think about. 1st, no one is going to get rich off of the subsidy rebate system, since most of the time the maximum weekly rebate a person can qualify for is less than $100, and gas rebate money is taxed as part of income. The second thing to consider is how abuse of the system by receipt scavengers impacts the interests of others. Those who will resort to those measures tend to be the most in need of money. People having money that wouldn’t usually have money are spending that money, and they are purchasing the products and services all of us produce. Money that is paid to employees, gained as profit, and both are potentially reinvested to produce more products and services and create more opportunities.
Obviously there may be some concern about the impact this would have on inflation. It would be much less notable than the impact the COVID stimuluses had on inflation because we’re not distributing huge amounts of money to in one way or another every part of the population. We’re providing small bumps to half the population who are most in need of relief from inflation, gas prices and otherwise.
This isn’t something that I really want to promote because it shouldn’t be a priority over a balance stimulus which empowers the underclasses to position themselves for better income and eliminate the need for such government assistance. But if I was in office and couldn’t get a balance stimulus through, I would push some variation of this to relieve the pressure of inflation for the bottom 50% to increase their quality of life and stimulate spending among the bottom 50% of income earners.
3/28/2022
I hate to have an entry like this on top but it is what it is and it is not good. I look back on the last roughly 8 years and I’m at a point where all my motivation and confidence has been sapped. That’s a product of every effort not only failing to yield any positive results but also yielding no feedback. Not a loss of confidence in myself or my abilities, but confidence in anyone on this planet to demonstrate basic comprehension skills or even a shred of objectivity that would allow them to see something that isn’t perspective reinforcing.
I finished this movie script, sent it to a few production companies and as usual there’s no response. Not really surprised, and beyond the lecture portion based on Liberty As The Basis it probably isn’t a great script. I don’t know. That project aside, when you’ve produced novel insights and made discoveries that are completely ignored it becomes difficult to want to do anything. I’ve spent about the last week doing little more than working, going to the gym, and watching YouTube videos. And that shit does not feel good.
I can resume criticism of these 2 sided bullshit narratives that the general public subscribed to but as I learned from 2019 to 2020 that doesn’t lead anywhere. People want reinforcement that their side is right, that the other side is wrong, they don’t want information that shows that both sides are full of shit.
I saw an ad for an antidepression supplement to be taken with antidepression medication. treatment resistant depression they called it. The ad expressed that people with treatment resistant depression are just given one medication after another. You identify physiological changes in the brain that are caused by certain patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behavior. But what they fail to realize or are incapable of addressing is that these patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behavior is caused by an individual’s circumstances, including all the bullshit people are fed that forms the structure of their mind. Circumstantially there can be problems with income and time. But there are also problems with a person’s values being contaminated by bullshit since what a person does and what they like is largely a product of what they believe is true.
The problem with psychology is it makes assumptions about things being right and good subjectively. It seeks to maintain the popular myths of this population which many in the field also subscribe to. Therapy is primarily a vehicle to adjust people’s values to be more like others where there is ample opportunity for stimulation. Diagnosis is a check list, where if you have these feelings, these thoughts, and these behaviors, then you have this problem. That problem corresponds to these imbalances and then you take medication. If that medication doesn’t work then we can try other medications and so on and so forth.
But they cannot address or acknowledge that the environment is a problem. Some of this stems from the proportion of people not being studied who they presume are content within this bullshit. If people are happy like those shown in television, movies, commercials, or those who they interact with who tend to be economically advantaged as they are then the bullshit is good and should be built on and not challenged.
Business is good for them. Everything is a mental health issue and it’s well marketed to very ignorant people.
I’ll digress from this, just things I think about when see ads for this BS.
I have a marketing conundrum. To effectively market you have to use simple objects that tie into what people already like. How do you market ideas that are not tied to something people already like, that don’t bend to appease values because doing so contaminates the purity of the product?
There’s comedian named Shane Giles who did a bit about his dad watching Fox News. I thought he did a good job explaining how most people consume information about current events and politics. He expressed that his dad would watch Fox for hours on end looking for one point that he could repeat to someone. This is typical of how a lot of people watch the news, Fox or otherwise. What they think they know is reduced to some line from a broadcast that they think means something. You can’t talk to people. When I was young and very ignorant I did the same.thing.
Shifting from politics, most people in this country believe there is a deity who decides everything that happens on the planet, who blesses people with opportunities, exacts justice on the evil, and grants wishes like a genie.
The point is I’m so fucking walled in by the stupidity of the general population, a product of their biases, and it’s killed my motivation in the results I’ve had, and my confidence that anybody is capable of recognizing anything that is beneficial and important.
There’s a shirt I should have designed but didn’t. Just a shirt that says No Lives Matter. A response to the black lives matter, all lives matter duality. The truth is, no life matters until it can exploited to further someone else’s interests. BLM is a racist organization that capitalized on the ignorance of the general public for the benefit of the organizers, promoting a radical pre civil rights act platform, in a post civil rights act country, where their examples always fail to show race has motivated behavior and usually the examples fail to even show excessive force or misconduct by police. But the point of no lives matter is that prior to the people they advocate for could being used as an example of something they want it to be, no one cared about these people enough for them to not be involved in the situation to begin with. Their lives only matter when they can be exploited for someone else’s purposes.
3/29/2022
I don’t perceive weight of circumstantial stress as it increases and fuels thoughts and feelings that produce the kind of entry that I wrote yesterday. Today I found some work and made some money, which decreased some of that stress and that reduction has an effect on my mood, which should be thought of as the circulation of perception influencing feelings, feelings influencing thoughts, and thoughts creating feelings.
Remembering what I wrote the previous day through the lens of a different view, I considered deleting the entry altogether, although not because anything was inaccurate, just that it seemed detrimental to my cause, and the criticism of psychology wasn’t very pointed, and it was sloppy. The shift essentially boils down changing of values. Making a little bit of money, improving my short term security changed my prioritization. Where the ultimate hatred is real, but it isn’t as important to me when my circumstances don’t seem immediately dire. That hatred is a product of the unwillingness of anyone to acknowledge my positions and ideas and allow me to respond to said acknowledgement. To truly see this shit from the outside looking in and being unable to interest anyone in taking a look from that vantage point is frustrating. To be the only person telling the truth in context and with consistency and being ignored because people seek the preservation of their current perspective to maintain contentment with their lifestyle. Or so they can continue to like the things they like. I have a problem with these circumstances including performing menial tasks through gig work, or the prospect of working some long term manual labor job. Or any job that isn’t the promotion of my material and ideas. There isn’t a market for truth among a self deceiving species. So whether I like you individually based on interaction, there is always a part of me that hates a part of you. And in the moment when I’m writing this it isn’t the same as I wrote yesterday. Maybe similarities in appearance or content, but not from the place it’s coming from. Yesterday it was prioritized hatred, today it is sober acknowledgement of the existence of it.
There is a part of me that hates a part of everyone of you. That part is the bias that produces the basis for the indifference that allows my situation and the situations of others in this country to persist. Most of the time it’s not prioritized but when my circumstances become increasingly difficult it becomes prioritized because where I am is largely the product of that part of people that I hate.
If a person reads that maybe they think that hatred could one day manifest as some random attack against the public. That’s exceedingly unlikely and is logically impossible. It’s morally wrong to impose unless you’ve been imposed upon, and individuals cannot be directly accountable for collective imposition by one individual. Which isn’t to say that individuals are not responsible for their contribution to the collective. Another topic altogether, but suffice it to say I understand random attacks to be wrong. I’m prohibited from such behavior by my morality. Some might question what if my morality changes? That’s why it’s almost impossible because if my morality changes then the hatred probably changes with it. Secondly, it doesn’t advance any interest. I write this just because mixing public hatred with a record of trapped and miserable circumstances from anyone else, would be a cause for concern.
I came to the St. Louis area because it was larger than any other metropolitan area near where I was when I needed to make some money. I found a job to move the contents of a tractor trailer to a box truck. It was good pay for not much work involved and I met a man named Calvin who asked to exchange numbers so I could call him if I found work and he could call me if he found work.
Over the past week he found 4 different jobs. I drive which helps him when he doesn’t have a ride or to save gas. But the thing is I look back on the last week, and I know without him including me on those jobs I’d be in a very rough spot. So whatever benefit I’ve been to him, I truly appreciate him while I look back on this week. Because I could be in a real bad spot without those opportunities to make some money. And he seems to have been solid with me the whole time we been doing these jobs.
This morning I’m playing poker tournaments and going back and forth on CL. I respond to an ad to clean 4 apartments for $200. I received a message saying can you do them today and then he asked me what time. Seeing I was about 39 minutes away I told him 930 which gave about an hour to finish my tournaments ($3 triple up and 10+1 satellite placed in both). I reached Walmart about 10 minutes out at about 9:25. Needed paper towels and a Swiffer. I arrived at the property a little after 9:45.
Today when I finished Calvin hit me up and asked me if I had anything going on. I told about the gig and said I was already running late to the gig which was true. As I drove back I thought about if I tried to include him today. 1st it was only 3 units for 150, which means we would have got $75 each. It took me until roughly 5pm to clean 3, 7 hours, so presumably it would have taken us 3 together. But look at this, me picking him up is 35 miles about 40 minutes each way. To him, to here, then to drop him off, and then back here is 160 minutes and about 140 miles. I’ll probably average 25mpg on the trip, which means it costs me about $22 in gas. 160 minutes is closer to 3 hours than it is to 2 so it means I’m investing 6.5 hours of time to make $53, instead of investing 7 hours to make $150. Although I was distracted a little bit by poker that’s a big part of the reason that I didn’t include him. And it’s a difficult decision to make because if I were in.a better situation, I probably would take a $97 loss to help him make $75, just on appreciation for him helping me make money this week. And knowing shit would be bad for me had I not made that money this week.
Today the person I worked for asked if I did other things. I told him I can. He asked me about cutting a ceiling tile for a light fixture and asked if I would clean another unit. He also had some vinyl flooring installed over a dirty.subfloor with a bunch of protrusions. He asked if I could.do anything with it, commented that he wants to tile over it. I told him I didn’t think you could do that, that the tile adhesive probably won’t stick to the vinyl. I told him I could tear it out, clean the subfloor and put something else down. That would be a job I might be able to get $300 on and could include him. But having already established $50 a unit to clean, and him only adding a 15 minute job to that, it’s difficult to bid that high enough to split.
I just like to express that appreciation through reciprocation, but I can’t do it when the pay is too low for me to comfortably absorb the cost.
I had some other things I was going to write about but it’s late so I’m going to watch some videos, go to sleep, and write about those things tomorrow.
3/30/2022
I receive emails from a publication called PHIL Papers. Its a list of recently published academic papers from the field of philosophy. Yesterday I scrolled through the list and hoped I’d be able to read some of the books and papers but I don’t have $20 to purchase these nonsensical pieces of shit written by people who typically have no life experience pertaining to the subjects they’re writing about.
The first book mentioned is called Machine See, Machine Do and claims that areas of criminal justice and policing that use technology have biases within the technology, where the specifications and algorithms the technology is based on draws from biased interpretations.
The following is an excerpt from the summary
“In this book, you’ll learn how algorithms and high-tech tools are used in unexpected ways: suggesting which neighborhoods to police, predicting whether someone is more or less likely to commit a crime, and determining how long someone’s prison sentence should be.
Machine See, Machine Do takes you on an eye-opening journey of discovery, encouraging you to think twice about our current system of justice and the technology that supposedly makes it more “objective” and “fair.” If you are someone who cares deeply about criminal justice reform, is curious about the role of technology in our day-to-day lives, and ultimately believes we should aspire to make both of these spaces more ethical and safe, this book is for you.”
The word bias in the academic community as I’ve seen it used in recent years is typically in reference to racial biases. Academics for years have pushed this agenda because the reinforcement of racial bias is demanded by activists, politicians, and the media. Creating research that suggests racial biases is a good avenue for academics to sell books, receive attention, and to advance their careers.
What’s unfortunate is the biases of the researchers is apparent in their work. Casual reading of this summary demonstrates that this is a person who set out to find evidence of bias and has already taken a position that police and criminal justice reform are priority. He sets out to make that case, where he will omit information that doesn’t reinforce that position and will misrepresent information in order to make it appear supportive of his positions.
In the book Racial Perceptions I show how studies misrepresent class for race. This is a recurring theme in academia. Not having money or worthwhile income opportunities disadvantages people in a plethora different ways. In this country although there are over twice as many white people who are living in poverty and even more who are poor, there is a much greater proportion of black people who are poor. Which means anytime you compare race you’re going to have a disparity in outcomes between white people and black people because proportionally there are more black people who are economically disadvantaged. If there is a disparity between criminal justice outcomes between white and black people they claim it’s a racial disparity when the underlying causation is usually class. It applies to many different things, education, criminality, and almost any area you can compare because economic disadvantage is determinative in so many different outcomes.
Just to illustrate. If you have 65 white people and 15 black people. If 20 white people and 7 black people are poor when you compare results by race in many different areas it will appear that race is determinative of the outcome because more black people are poor proportionately than white people. This is what self serving biased academics have been using for a long time to fuel racial divide, distract from class goals, and to further their careers and idiocy.
I’m interested in what is biased about which areas are police more than others. I presume the areas that are police more than others are areas where more crime is taking place. Crime is primarily a product of economic disadvantage and this is confirmed in just about every study I’ve ever seen that seeks to measure the relationship between crime and poverty or crime and economic inequality. Since proportionally you have a greater number of black who are poor who often live in areas with one another you’re going to have higher crime rates, and consequently, more policing. There’s also a lot of middle-class and wealthy white communities where there isn’t much crime because people have had environments conducive to the development of productive interests and opportunities to pursue those interests. So there isn’t as much crime and there’s much less policing. Of course there are poor white neighborhoods where there is crime and increased policing but as a whole, it will appear as if white neighborhoods have less crime because they are policed less. The point being, is any researcher who wants to show a racial bias in policing as far as the concentration of policing will always be able to show that, because of the proportion of poor black people compared to proportion of poor white people.
I don’t know what this person is showing as far as how technology nis programmed to suggest which areas require a greater police presence, but I do presume given his admitted agenda it’s along these lines.
As far determining who is more or less likely to commit a crime we know that people who grew up poor and who have limited income opportunities are more likely to commit a crime than people who have not. And obviously people who have committed crimes in the past are less likely than people who have. Black people are more likely than white people to commit a crime because proportionally, more black people begin economically disadvantaged which influences income opportunities as adults. I doubt there is anything in the algorithms that directly identify race. What I surmise this researcher does is takes general predictors of crime, then applies those predictors to race and claims he’s identified biases in technology.
He may have opportunities to go on shows quote his findings, and based on his credentials people who are seeking the reinforcement of those ideas will accept it as fact and begin parroting a bunch of bullshit that doesn’t mean what they were told it means when taken in the full context.
If you’re really concerned with criminal justice you have to be concerned with what causes crime to begin with. If you’re concerned with that you’re concerned with unequal opportunities for people to have time and money.
There are other summaries of papers I may address, but the address of the others primarily applies to the irrelevancy of the papers in regard to any practical application. This applies to a lot of academia, at least it relates to philosophy.
3/31/2022
I woke up today and decided I was going to play poker. It’s really insane how bad I’ve been running. After a few hours I was at where I started. Losing hands where you’re 4 to 1 or better to win the hand repeatedly is bizarre.
I’ve had some thoughts about the Will Smith slapping Chris Rock incident at the Oscars. Obviously it is morally wrong, but my initial reaction aside from skepticism over the authenticity of the incident was that Smith wouldn’t have done the same thing to a comedian who is more willing and capable of defending himself.
Today I was also thinking how the public reaction would be different if it was a white comedian who said the same thing Rock said and was slapped for it. I think the issue would have been much more divisive if it were David Spade instead of Chris Rock. I’m using Spade as an example of a comedian of comparable size who also probably wouldn’t have defended himself. I believe if it was a white comedian who made the joke that comedian would be called racist for making the joke and Will would have been defended instead of condemned. In some polls I’ve seen it’s about 70/30, condemnation/defense. I think it would flip where people on the left who would condemn him for slapping Chris would support him in slapping Spade, and some black people who would condemn him for slapping Rock would defend him if it was Spade.
Morally physical imposition is justified to prevent or neutralize imposition. Someone being upset with what someone has said is not the speaker imposing on that person. The same thing can be said to different people the same way and one feels bad, another feels good, and another indifferent. It’s never morally okay to hit someone for something they’ve said unless it’s a threat.
I ordered a pizza for carry out. When I’m low I eat a pizza which has two benefits. The 1st is the positive sensations from the taste and quantity of those sensations. The second is I usually feel like shit after doing it so the physical discomfort distracts from my mental discontent.
As I’m driving I see the exit where I need to turn around. The next thing I remember I’m going straight on the interstate and believe I’ve already exited and turned around. I drive about 6 miles before I realize I missed the exit and I am traveling in the wrong direction.
I did smoke some weed before I pulled off from the rest area. This was an interesting experience and certainly isn’t the first time something like this has happened under the influence. I think I’ve written before that Marijuana doesn’t cause short term memory loss, it stimulates thought and your attention becomes fixated on those thoughts in the moment which prevents conscious attention towards what’s going on around you. In those states your conscious surroundings become like your periphery vision when not in those states, like your vision is focused on the images in your head despite seeing what you’re looking at.
During your day to day life you have thoughts but rarely unless you’re focused on those thoughts will you remember those thoughts. For example, unless something stands out to you, you may enter a gas station, prepay gas, pump the gas, return to your car and drive away. When you remember this stop, if it’s uneventful you’ll remember the points of action but probably won’t be able to remember what you were thinking. The memories exist as images that you saw with different information attached to the images. Most of what you were thinking in those moments you will not be able to recall.
Under the influence of marijuana I become almost entranced in my thoughts. Driving becomes a subconscious function while my conscious attention is focused on the monologue (sometimes dialogue) and images in my head. I think Marijuana’s effect on memory is largely the product of distraction, where what’s going on in front of you is relegated to secondary attention.
I’ve also exited at that exit on multiple occasions. Seeing the exit in the distance and having exited there previously also contributed to the conclusion that I did exit and turn around.
Yesterday KC had a moving job to do. I declined initially because I didn’t want to do it. But he said he didn’t have a ride so I was glad to have the opportunity to show some appreciation for the work he found me when I needed it.
4/5/2022
There was an article on Brett Favre being involved in a political scandal in Mississippi. Favre invested in some company that was performing poorly. A million plus dollars of public funds was spent by the governor into this company. Favre exchanged text messages with the governor.
The governor’s lack of a basic understanding of football and the games terminology is particularly upsetting. Favre texts it’s 3rd and long. The governor responds, I’m going to open up a hole. If it’s 3rd and long we’re not running the ball. At least say something like I’ll be open, don’t worry we’re moving the sticks, no it’s 1st and goal, or something that responds to the situation where we need to make a big play on 3rd and long.
Initially I found this situation hilarious. It’s Brett Favre, they show a picture of him looking like the unibomber without the hoodie, out here making real business moves, and of course he gets caught. This is the same guy who when asked what he was going to do when he retired said mow his lawn. Lol. Then some ESPN reporter went to his house before he returned to Minnesota, and said someone else was mowing his lawn.
I happen to be the biggest Brett Favre fan. He was going to give you something great or he was going to make a great mistake. But he was always trying to win the game. He’s not throwing the ball away because he believes he can find a throw to make. He’s not going to take the sack if he can make a throw. Most entertaining quarterback in NFL history.
My fandom doesn’t bias me, but I do want to address what I think happened in the million dollars of public funds going to this company. There’s no conceivable way the governor just took money intended to fund a welfare program and gave it to this company. I presume there has to be some good or service this company is providing the state. Unless of course it was a research grant, but a research grant on a Mississippi budget seems unlikely to be for over a million dollars. I presume there was some type of purchase made by the state. I believe it is a pharmaceutical company, so maybe it’s COVID related purchases, COVID tests or something.along those lines. What could be more significant than the money itself would have been the precedent of the State doing business with the company, where that precedent could lead to future business. Or in the case of grants the precedent of the company receiving a grant could improve their chances of receiving future grants. Either way, we have a wealthy private citizen ensuring that he gets a return on investment through the appropriation of public funds, by using his status, money, and the promise of prosperity to the governor, who purchased the stock after he left office where the stock increased because of what he did as governor.
Favre has some money and saw it as a way to make more money. Favre clearly understands how government works, and people with money who know how government works to persuade policy to ensure their interests are served
The broader public won’t see it for what it is. They won’t see it as a clear example of how money, or in this case the opportunity to make money determines public policy. They’ll see it as Brett Favre and this governor are really.bad. And they are, but that’s secondary.
I decided to go to Chicago from St. Louis for about a week to see my daughter but I was confronted by an unfortunate set of circumstances that prevented that from happening.
My budget was tight. I was going to be arriving with about $80 in my bank account and $45 I’m cash. I figured I’d find a few days of work in the Chi and see my daughter on the weekend, arriving Sunday night. I stopped at the gym and during my workout I discovered that my meetup group subscription was auto paid. This was a $105 that put my.bank account at minus $23 and I was there with $45 in my pocket.
On Monday I responded to the few gigs posted but they didn’t respond, except for 1 where the guy was looking for someone with a truck, and the other I need an impact to do the job. The 2nd was a wooden playhouse assembly with over 200 screws. There was a cheap Walmart drill for $20 but I wasn’t confident that it would work since it was such low strength.
I contacted my daughter’s mother to see if they could come down Tuesday but she told me they had things to do that day.
In the past I have worked jobs through Chicago when I was in West Allis between 2019 and 2020 but at that moment it was unproven so I came back to the St. Louis area.
While I was there Mark from Premier Hospitality sent me an email and asked if I was interested in doing a hotel with them. That was a bit of good news where I’ll be able to work and save some money again and hopefully not make the same mistakes I made previously. I shouldn’t say make the same mistakes, it’s more of do things a little differently. When I left the last time I was limited in where I could go because of certain concerns I had.
The last few weeks I worked with him was really difficult for me. The longer I’m working a job the more I resent it. I’ve mentioned the reasons in the past. There should be a market for my material, except that this species has a natural aversion to the truth since the truth challenges their perspectives, and the organization of their perspectives determines what feels good to them. It’s never a situation where I don’t.think I should have to work, it’s always been a situation where I should be working to advance my observations, insights, and ideas.
I’ll be good for this project grateful for the opportunity to position myself to start again with the experience of the last time I left.
We found a job for today. Very easy made 60 bucks each and we were there for about an hour. Moved a few pieces. We have a concrete job for tomorrow that might be a few days work.
4/9/2022
There was more to this entry, a few pages worth of thoughts pertaining to a brief conversation I had with KC from St. Louis and how it led to reflections on the attack on masculinity. I need to organize what I wrote a little bit better.
Below is a thought I had about a conversation I overheard in the gym locker room.
I was in the gym locker room today and two men who knew one another were having a conversation. The one asked the other something that prompted him to talk about his day. He said he was at a 4 year olds soccer game for his grandson. I thought that sounds like a shitty time. The other guy asked how was it, and he said it was like watching cats get killed, which I thought was funny in the analogy itself as well as the candor. He also said that most of the time his grandson was running to him or to the parents telling them he didn’t want to play. That was strange to me. Here you have people watching something that isn’t entertaining, to see their child participate in an activity that he doesn’t want to participate in.
What’s the real purpose? To tell other people that your son is in soccer and you attend his games?
To teach your child to do things he doesn’t want to do, working early on breaking his spirit?
4/13/2022
Mark told me we should be starting a job in Texas 2nd or 3rd week of April. I figured we should be starting the job this Monday. I decided to begin heading towards the job and arrived in DFW last night. I worked from this app in St. Louis a couple times and figured I could find CL work. At least for today that was not the case.
There is this chic near Dallas from POF I was talking to. Since I was on my way down here the plan was I would arrive with about $400 and then I should be able to make at least another $200 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. So far that hasn’t happened.
I figured I would meet her at a corner bar, have a few drinks, and she’d be feeling me and we could smash by her spot. After I asked her if she wanted to meet for drinks on Friday to pick the time and location, she wants to go to some pizza bar place downtown. This changes the potential 1st location expenses from somewhere in the neighborhood of $50 to over $100. And now, if shit goes well I’m going to have to drop money on a hotel, which will probably hit me for another $75. I only have about $400 right now, which is why it feels imperative to make money. Because it’s hard to justify spending half your money in the position I’m in to try to have a good time.
This creates another problem because I don’t want to tell her this, not because of anything to do with her, but because my situation is embarrassing because it cannot be understood without understanding my material, which no one is trying to understand. This is a little bit of added stress because I don’t know what to tell her, and I don’t want to just ghost her. I also may not be able to ghost her because I left her my number in the message. 😂
Poker has been so fucking sick to me lately. Making good calls, being ahead at the flop and people hitting a fucking over pair on the turn and river after they push with nothing. Other shit too, playing Omaha, I have a low draw, flush draw, and top 2 pair. Put him all in on the turn and he calls with nothing but a one card straight draw, limited to 3 cards since I’d hit the flush if he hit the card in hearts and he risks all his chips and hits it. Flop a wheel with 4 3 Omaha h/l guy goes all in hits a 4 to give him a wheel split pot. Catch a set of 9s, get him all in again. He has a pair of 2s, turn is a 2 and river is a 2 to give him quads. Insane. KK against AA, and other shit where I make the right decision and some fluke shit punishes me. Then I get pissed off and play like shit.
Someone posted on YouTube a quote that says something about crazy people change the world. I decided I would post my reply in the journal section since it takes on that feel, despite the content being stated the same or differently throughout my material.
GTFOH. Human beings have corrupted themselves to the point where any meaningful changing of their world is not possible, and the moral reasoning of human beings has been the same since the beginning of human civilization.
There are many human flaws within the ideas people are indoctrinated with once they reach an age of comprehension, but the inherent flaw that prevents change is value preserving denial. In order for people to like what they like it requires that what they believe is true remains true. When people are confronted with information that challenges their beliefs they experience a negative feeling that is a warning that their self worth or value of objects are in danger. They experience positive feelings from information that reinforces their beliefs. As a result people consume information that reinforces their beliefs and avoid, ignore, or reject information that challenges their beliefs. Beliefs are biased towards ideas that allow them to feel good about what they do, and they cannot be changed because people don’t understand the value of truth, as it relates to liberty.
Human morality hasn’t changed since the dawn of human civilization in principle. Over half the people on this planet believe there is a deity who decides what is good and bad based on his authority. This deity is a reflection of human moral reasoning, that power determines right and obedience to power creates advantages for the obedient. Morality ceases to be based on mutual interest, and becomes tied to obedience. Deity, parents, Santa Claus, family, teachers, bosses etc.
Which brings us to another issue. People believe that their deity intervenes in human affairs. The problem with this is that unless people understand that everything that takes place on this planet is a product of human decision making, and human decision making is a product of circumstances, no real issue can be addressed.
I ridiculed people who commented they were sending prayers to the victims of the subway shooting. How does that make any f***in sense. If your deity was going to help these people why didn’t he do it before they were harmed to begin with? Sent his spirit upon the shooter to reason with him? But now that people are sending prayers he’s.going to intervene on their behalf?
Another tragedy carried out by a mentally ill man? No another product of the circumstances produced by the people of this country.
This isn’t about that incident. It’s about people being willfully ignorant so they can continue feeling good about the things they do in life. And that is why no one meaningfully changes anything.
4/16/2022
I’ve been stressed these last few days, unable to schedule any work in DFW. Unfortunately when you have expenses that you cannot afford, it’s difficult to concentrate on anything. Every 5 minutes I’m checking the CL gigs section and the Veryable app, or responding to a gig ad.
My contacts are dry as shit, but I’m not in a position to drop $100 on an eye exam and contacts. And no, I’m not riding racing slicks on my beat up 2012 Malibu with 230k miles, my tires are just that bald. I need to replace my tie rod again, I fucked up and didn’t get enough grease in it and drove on it before I got enough grease in it. Then I’m going to need an alignment because I bought the tie rod end online, so if I buy one from the auto parts store it isn’t going to be the same brand and therefore it will be a different amount of turns for it to be in the same place as the one I took off. I’ve probably also wore out the control arm because I never replaced the bent sway bar that vibrates against it. These are pressing expenses among others. I have about $300, and I have daily, weekly, and monthly expenses. And I’ve been in DFW for 4 days and I’ve found work 1 day and made $50. Soon I either need to return to St. Louis, or go to Del Rio and afford a week worth of expenses. All of this is to say when you’re treading water like I’m treading water, its difficult to think about anything other than making money and the bitterness and contempt for those circumstances and the contributors responsible for the existence of those circumstances.
But today being able to work even though the money wasn’t shit contributed to my mood, and also casual interaction with people through the procurement of goods and services. And that’s what I remember about DFW, that the people are pretty smooth out here. And in times past I’ve made some money out here. With this app and all my bids being accepted in St. Louis I figured worst case I could work these app jobs to make some money until Mark calls me about the job Plus I thought I should be able to smash that POF chic before the job.
That’s everything that brought me through here before Mark called about the job. Maybe he isn’t going to have me come down for the job. I did send him an email just explaining that he can call or text because I blocked him on the phone not wanting to be persuaded to continue working after discovering that I wasn’t in trouble for the thing I left work for to begin with. Then I told him what I’ve been doing over the last 8 months. It’s also possible I may have mentioned something that caused him to not want to bring me back. I was a little high so I wrote too much, but I thought some of it was a thoughtful apology and should raise his expectations of my performance. I told him I needed 2 days notice because I was in St. Louis. Oddly, when I asked him when the job started he said 2nd or 3rd week of April, but afterwards said he was booking housing for the project, meaning he knew the date and didn’t tell me, or there is no job and just decided to fuck with me out the blue. That doesn’t seem like him, but I’m always considering possibilities that have an impact on my interests.
Holly asked why I didn’t call him and ask him? Because I don’t want to seem like I’m out here as bad as I am needing to know when the job is going to start. It starts when it starts, if I have nothing else I have pride, I’m not going to be bothering him about when the job starts. If there’s actually a job to go to and if he hasn’t reconsidered the offer.
The problem I have is I cannot stay here for another week and not make any money if we’re starting next Monday. I also don’t want to put another 600 miles on my car, tie rod, and tires to go back to St. Louis and then have to turn around and drive 1000 miles to Del Rio. Not to mention it’s about $70 in gas to get from Dallas to St. Louis. If I go and that job goes through it costs me $140. That’s at least one day of work.
Last few days have been stressful.
KC was an asset to me in finding work in St. Louis, in the clutch when money was somehow worse than it is now. But all people create a draw on the behavior of other people, and interacting with KC didn’t bring me back to a time when my behavior was similar minus work and the habit, but it reminded me of it and drew out some shades of it.
Really only one incident, although there were other incidents that influenced my mood and behavior as well, including general circumstances consisting of financial challenges.
We were doing a moving job, really busting our ass on three floors after we were only shown 2, and the last piece to move was the fridge. Me and KC are going to move the fridge and the guy tells me to wrap up the base for the TV in cardboard. I grab a blanket because it’s sufficient to protect the surface from being scratched and the base from being broken. He says no the cardboard. I tell him I’m not doing that, just matter of factly.
KC gets the wrong idea about this. He doesn’t know that there doesn’t have to be anything more than me not doing that and him knowing I’m not doing that. He gets mad and starts telling dude you wrap it up, we moved all this shit, you ain’t done shit you box it up. Then the driver responded to him and I got pissed off and told him pay us we’re out, and now we’re not moving the fridge.
He starts talking about we finish and then we get paid, and implying he wasn’t going to pay us until we moved the fridge, and I felt waves coming over me that I hadn’t felt I’m a long time, a feeling in my chest to hit him. I wasn’t going to hit him, he was a smaller guy, and hadn’t done anything to justify the use of force, except implying that he wasn’t going to pay us with his statement, which isn’t the same as not paying us.
I went outside and took his inventory list and put it in my pocket. He also had two drills and two bags of tools so I picked those up and walked back to the house. Basically taking his stuff as collateral for payment. He was already walking out the door and I asked him if he was going to pay us, and he asked me to take him to the gas station.
The job was $20 an hour with a 3 hour minimum and we had been there 3.5 hours, so we were owed $70. In that time we wrapped and loaded 1700 cubic from 3 levels of the house and the garage, basement, ground floor, and second floor. He gave us $100 and asked if we would help him move the fridge. I agreed to, KC said he was going to stay in the car but he got out shortly after we did and helped.
In thinking back to when I was younger I remembered how I used to feel like that and would follow through on it. I won’t go into that very much, it was less anger and more a pride and status kind of thing.
I think the second day we did a job there we were in this gas station. I’m next in line and this dude in a group of 4 people cut in front of me. I confronted him about it and he said he didn’t see me. I felt like he did see me and later so did KC, but I got my spot back so I wasn’t going to create an issue out of nothing.
I was bothered because it seemed racially motivated, and after giving it some thought KC agreed with that assessment.
I was experiencing events there that were increasing my stress levels. Negatively influencing my mood.
Earlier that day we went though JIB drive thru and there was a woman in front of us, and a man who was seemingly sleeping in the drive thru about a car length behind the window. The woman behind him and in front of us started beeping at him and he didn’t respond. Then she was calling to him sir can you move up please?
He started yelling at her and I started yelling at him telling him what he better do is pull forward, and he obliged me. I didn’t intend to whoop his ass, he seemed to be at a physical disadvantage from what I saw from him, but in that moment if he gets out the car I get out the car and depending on what he does it won’t take much for the altercation to become physical. And I am aware that it’s very easy for people to get seriously hurt and the potential consequences. These kind of things influence how you feel and how you perceive your circumstances and environment, as well as the kind of thoughts you have, which contributes to how you feel, and how you perceive your environment.
Another weight that’s contributing to my mood lately is thinking about how I responded to those incidents, mainly the moving incident. But under analysis I’m not as disappointed in my behavior as I was remembering the impressions of the incident, which consists of what I remember feeling which didn’t produce any immoral behavior.
I found myself trying to restore some of that peace through insignificant tasks that marginally benefited someone else. When I left St. Louis for Chicago intent on seeing my daughter and there was what appeared to be about a 2 foot high oval tin trash receptacle in the parking lot of some small town in rural IL that I forget the name of. I picked it up and put it on the side walk and felt better for having done it. Similarly, when I was driving to DFW I stopped in Joplin, MO for gas. When I came outside the wind was blowing very hard and an empty trash receptacle with the windshield washer and fluid basin blew over and slid into an isle obstructing access to the pumps. I picked it up and slid it back to it’s spot. Consequently, I felt better about myself after doing it and these opportunities had positive effects on my mood. These objectives are created subconsciously, and are small objectives associated with bringing me away from the mild aggression that was lowering my self worth, where my behavior was still in check but the feelings I experienced felt tyrannical. I’m always analyzing my behavior and what influences and produces it. If I don’t.analyze these events I carry around a nagging sensation that I’ve done something wrong, when in fact I didn’t do anything wrong I just didn’t like the way I felt in those moments.
Yesterday, I backed out of a parking spot at the Walmart I sleep at in Irving to relocate to a better spot and came within inches of hitting a cart that was turned on its side. I didn’t move it despite it being an obstruction probably just because I was too overburdened with my circumstances at that time. 3 or 4 days here, no work, and two jobs that didn’t pan out. One job was supposed to be in McKinney so I drove near to McKinney about 20 miles from where I was waiting for the confirmation. Another job was supposed to be in Lewisville at 11am but the person offering the job told me he would tell me when to leave. I drive near the job because I told him I was closer than I actually was to increase my chances of getting it. He never called or texted me to come. With these things and the circumstances I was dealing with I see the cart and thought Fuck Y’all MotherFuckers.
Hopefully I hear something soon from Mark. Otherwise I have to go back to St. Louis if I cannot make any money here. I’ll be leaving Monday night at the latest if I don’t hear anything or if I don’t make some money to buy me some more time waiting on that job. The job is important because I should be able to save 3000 to 4000 dollars, and I can apply some of this money to secure the comfort and stability to begin promoting material and creating new content including worthwhile video lectures among other things.
4/23/2022
The night before last I turned down work and regretted it. I had to drive a half hour from where I was for 2 hours of work where I may have netted $35. I asked for a 3 hour minimum he said 2 hour minimum at $20 an hour so I declined. Yesterday I regretted that decision because I couldn’t find any work.
Last night about 10pm I responded to an ad for a moving job, was given an address and told to come at 9am. I woke up today to a message from the person who told me he found help at a better rate. Probably wasn’t a better rate since his ad said what it said, it was probably a crew of 2 which is preferable to having 2 desperate people come.
I did have an offer accepted by a woman who needed about a 2 by 10 foot section of her yard dug up for a garden. It took me about an hour and I made $80 but it was a very intense hour of work.
I think I’m at the onset of another pulmonary embolism. Prior to the PE I sustained in December 2021 I became winded with less and less strenuous activity. I thought it was because of the elevation camping in Gila and Cibola national forests. Of course it wasn’t elevation, it was a pulmonary embolism.
I haven’t had the pain in my legs indicative of blood clots, but I have been off the medication for over a month. I don’t know if I wrote about this or not but late February early March I began experiencing severe pain in my legs that prevented me sleeping while I was in AZ. I knew it was blood clots and this was confirmed through xrays. At that time I had about $1500 so I was able to purchase the $600 30 day supply of Eliquis. I’ve saved 1 pill so if the symptoms become severe again I can take that pill and maybe be able to make it to the ER.
After finishing the job digging I received a call from a guy about a moving job. I agreed to do it. I made it to the job before the driver, waited for him to show up and began loading the furniture from the storage. I became winded very easily, and my right elbow has some tendonitis and hurt when I was carrying items.
I texted the owner of the company and told him I was leaving. When he called I told him I didn’t want to do local moving. This is true but there were a few different factors. The first two are I was already becoming winded and my elbow was hurting, and then I think there was some additional fatigue because I was hungry after the first job and didn’t stop to eat. I typically wake up and eat a PB&J on some good bread, have a mandarin orange, and maybe some juice. Then I’ll either have another after I work before I work out or I’ll have a protein shake.and work out. Then after my workout I’ll have a meal, and later maybe a shake or PB&J before I go to sleep. I think not eating before I went to the job was a factor.
I’m becoming winded again with less and less exertion and I’m experiencing pressure on my chest. When you have a PE your heart works harder to supply your body with oxygenated blood since the veins in the lungs is obstructed by the blood clot. When I had the PE before after they put the catheter in my neck and pumped me full of whatever thinners they started me on, one of the features of recovery was relief of the pressure on my chest.
I think I’ll be alright in the sense that when I can’t catch my breath I’ll know what’s happening and I’ll go to the hospital. Unless I just lose consciousness and don’t have the opportunity. I collapsed first the last time. Then collapsed a second time and momentarily lost consciousness but came back to and was able to struggle to my feet and make it to the bench. I just don’t know if the next one will be like the previous or if the clot will just completely block the vein and I’ll pass out and die.
Interesting point I’m at right now. The question is whether I’ll be able to make enough money to sustain myself until about May 13th, and if I’ll survive until May 13th. The job starts on May 8th and if I work a week with Mark I should be able to make enough to go to the ER and purchase the medication.
I work out at least 5 days a week, and for a while I worked out everyday. I started working my legs as a means to prevent the formation of blood clots in my legs and also do some treadmill cardio. In addition to this I perform physical labor. I don’t smoke cigarettes, occasionally weed and otherwise don’t drink or do drugs. The point being is that the decrease in cardio can only be the product of a PE.
I hope my elbow feels better because it is also a problem. I didn’t do any shoulder work yesterday, I had pain in my bicep and back work out the day before, and the day before that after working chest I completely skipped my tricep workout. Today I have chest and triceps again and elected not to go to the gym because of the tendonitis.
I was listening to a radio show today. They were talking about marijuana being legalized on the federal level. I don’t know if it is true. It isn’t a topic I follow very closely and it’s insignificant because it doesn’t affect the ability of the state to enforce their own laws. Despite being a consumer of Marijuana I am for the prohibition of Marijuana because legalization takes a good opportunity for disadvantaged people to make money and gives that opportunity to those who have the money for start up costs including regulation to profit from the cultivation, manufacture of products, and sales.
One of the radio hosts said it was a bad idea because it decreases productivity, promoting the stereotypes that it causes people to be stupid and lazy. Marijuana affects different people differently. I typically don’t lose much productivity when I smoke marijuana and work, but typically don’t use marijuana when I work because it impacts my perception of time, sometimes drawing out the perceived time performing undesirable tasks. He claims it will cause GDP to drop by 10 percent, not based on any data from stated that have legalized marijuana where GDP has presumably increased (if there was such a correlation states would not continue to legalize marijuana), but based on his opinion alone. There are a lot of jobs in this country that do not require a lot of physical exertion or mental sharpness, which are the jobs where people typically use marijuana, and those who have jobs that require physical activity and mental sharpness are going to be people who are not impacted by marijuana in the stereotypical ways he mentioned. But there are people who listen to a radio personality and then adopt his baseless opinion.
I contend that marijuana legalization increases productivity because it causes people to be more content with their circumstances and perform shittier jobs for less pay than they would if they didn’t have marijuana either on the job or after the job. Again, not a proponent, I like marijuana to be just illegal enough for disadvantaged people to be able to make money through the cultivation, importation, and distribution of marijuana.
I reread the 18th chapter of Walter Lippmann’s public opinion, primarily to extract some quotations for an article in my book Understanding Political Function Through Recent Political History. There is one article that isn’t recent political history called The Founding Intents which is included to dispel some of the popular nationalist myths concerning what the founders were intending to accomplish through the creation and structure of the federal government. Lippmann summarizes some of that history and principles of the founders in the 18th chapter of Public Opinion.
He discusses how Hamilton and Madison essentially reach the conclusion that local interests acting under different information on issues will never come to agreement on issues of national importance. The federal government had to be an institution that would govern the people, not a forum for democracy which is a point I’ve made within my article. But it also had to be an institution that could govern itself so the classes of people who the government serves could use it as a forum to achieve their interests and settle their differences in a civil manner.
He goes on to express that Jefferson revolution was an exercise to change how the public perceived the constitution, where it came.to be perceived as a democratic document and was no longer permitted to appear oligarchic.
He goes on to discuss how patronage or limiting time in government was supposed to benefit democratic processes but led to the rise of the two party system where you get different people but nothing really changes. The last section of the chapter dealt with how poorly congress access to information was which is no longer a relevant criticism.
Tonight I’m rereading that, taking notes, and will include another paragraph or two in the article from the aforementioned book.
4/25/2022
Long day yesterday, had a moving job that lasted until 2am. It was actually separate moves with the same driver and two different crews. I don’t know who the company is that this driver is carrying for, but the items were poorly wrapped, and seemingly stacked to create damage. The company pays the driver by the cubic foot, so they cram everything they can cram into the trailer to pay less to the carrier.
Customers are much less pleasant when they have multiple items destroyed. At both moves I explained the moving game and how we’re not responsible and the driver is not responsible for the damage to their items. At the second location it was necessary to calm down an irate woman who was directing her frustration towards people who were not responsible for it.
The first move was pretty uneventful. Myself and two other people along with the driver finished around 8pm and then went to the other location. He had movers meet us there.
When the driver pulled up there was a commotion. I heard something about money and thought there was a problem with the customer not wanting to pay their bill before we started unloading. My experience in interstate moving can be asset in that situation so I walked over there intending to explain that A: they agreed in the paperwork they signed that the final payment must be made in cash or a postal money order before the items can be unloaded, and B: the reason being is if the items are unloaded the company has no recourse other than time consuming litigation to recover their money. Meanwhile, if it is a broker job, the broker keeps the initial deposit, and half of the total cost paid upfront sometimes isn’t going to cover the cost of the job. Labor in the loading, commission to the foreman, storage, the carrier, etc. If the company does not protect itself through this mechanism, it’ll go out of business. Even when items are well wrapped, properly stacked on pickup, properly stacked in storage, properly stacked for the carrier, and properly unloaded things can still be broke. Any customer who hasn’t paid their bill prior to their items being unloaded will use broken items as an excuse not to pay their bill. To my surprise I discovered later on that the customer did not pay until near the end of the offload. That to me was crazy. Which leads me to what I would tell the customer if they refused to pay.
If you refuse to pay after agreeing to be ready by the 1st day of delivery you are refusing delivery. There’s a $500 fee for refusing delivery, your items will be unloaded at a storage. You’ll be charged a daily rate for the storage, (I don’t remember what it was but it was a high cubic foot rate that they already agreed to), then you’ll have to provide a 1st day available for redelivery, and then you will wait until a carrier is available and then we are going to charge you a$500 redelivery fee. If you don’t pay you don’t get your stuff, and we go to court and will win a judgment against you for all the fees you agreed to pay if you refused delivery.
So what do you want to do?
But the contention wasn’t with the customer, it was with these movers. The situation was these movers were told to be there by 8 by the time he got there it was 930, and they were saying they had to leave, and wanted to be paid for the time they were waiting.
One of them was talking to the customers neighbors who he and I mistook for the customer. I explained to them that these guys wanted to be paid for waiting without working. I said I would pay them for gas and that would be it. Not going to pay you for waiting if you’re not going to work., But if they were going to stay and work then I’d have to pay them.
Shortly after I told the customers neighbors that, I told them that. There was a strange set of moments because I was openly not interested in what they were selling from the beginning. But the other guy from the first move was quick to join their movement. This led to the driver and others talking with the sheriffs, the customers neighbors formed a circle about 10 to 15 feet from me, and the rest of the people moving and the dudes girl were about 15 feet from me in another direction everybody chopping it up. I said fuck it I’m right here until we get started.
The dude from the first moved said what’s up and invited me over. I told them I heard em but I’m not just going to come into the circle desperate for attention. Then I told them what I told the neighbors about that situation and they said they were staying.
During the course of the conversation the one guy said he’s not talking to the cops or giving them his ID. So I explained the Terry v. Ohio explanation of reasonable suspicion and that he has to identify himself if he is part of an officers investigation based on reasonable suspicion. He doesn’t have to answer any questions but he must identify himself and may be detained until the officers complete their immediate investigation.
Shortly afterwards we began the job. Granted, the job was precariously stacked, and sometimes seemly without good cause. For example, there were 3 roughly 7 foot cabinets stacked on a 2 foot high table. It’s a lot less work and makes more sense to stack the short item on the taller item instead of stack the larger items on the shorter item. One their grievances was the job was dangerous because of how it was stacked. Then it was raining so the job was dangerous because the ramp was slick.
Preston who is one of the movers whose name I remember spent most of his time on the phone with their broker. They wanted to be paid and leave because the job was dangerous, because it was taking to long, it was raining, the dolies had flat tires, the customers items were broken and probably some other things.
Noticing they were doing more complaining than working I told them if they spent half as much time working as they did talking we’d have finished it already. Then they walked off. There was 4 of em, Preston and his partner and two young dudes who worked under them. So you have a broker who is paid by the driver, the broker pays Preston and his partner, and Preston and his partner pay the young dudes.
They spent about an hour talking on the phone not working trying to get paid from their broker who wasn’t going to pay them until the job was finished because the driver wasn’t going to pay the broker if they didn’t finish.
Prior to this there was some workshop piece of equipment that they said was too dangerous to move. Me and Harry moved it without issue. I asked Preston’s partner what year he graduated from pussy university. He said he bets he can lift more than I can, I told him it ain’t about that it’s about over estimating the danger of moving something.
Although most of the time when they were working shit was cool, we had our moments because of their bulkshittin. I heard him tell the customer we just want to make sure we get paid and then we’ll get it unloaded. I got on his ass about that, because me, Harvey, the driver, and the customers husband were unloading it. Later the customer said something like who’s going to unload the rest of the truck and I said the same people who’ve been unloading it.
They eventually returned to work after talking with their broker. At the end of the night the driver sent the broker their money, but the broker said he couldn’t pay them because he reached the limit on the money he could send from his bank. It sounds like some bullshit, but that’s their issue, not my issue or the drivers issue. I didn’t interfere with anything about their money, that’s not the way I like to do business but it isn’t my business. I need to be with the person who is supposed to pay me, otherwise I need to know where you live, otherwise I don’t want to work with you on the promise of payment. They took that chance and got burned.
At the end of the night the driver brought us to his truck to pay us and they followed. They started talking to the driver while he was trying to pay us. Then he wanted to close the door to count out our money and they wouldn’t move away from the door. I let it go on for a little bit and then I got into it verbally with Preston’s partner again because he was trying to make his problem our problem, and was imposing on our time. The driver called the sheriff, they left except for Preston’s partner who I was arguing with who also left. He didn’t understand that he was imposing on me and Harvey’s time by trying to put their problem with their broker on the driver.
I don’t know what’s up with dudes though. During the move they’re talking about we’re from Dallas, like they’re on some gangster shit or anybody is impressed with that. If we’re doing a where you from, I’m from Milwaukee, median house hold income is about 44 thousand dollars per year about 2/3rds the national average, as a result, we have a high murder rate than Chicago, and one of the highest violent crime rates in the country, almost 1600 violent crimes per 100,000 people, almost 4x the national average of 399 violent crimes per 100,000 people. Plus, I’ve been about that life, I’ve committed crimes, I’ve been to jail and prison, I associated with people living real trap life since I was child, I’ve lived on nothing but a drug sales income, and I can tell you know nothing about that. The point is, there’s nothing you can describe to me that is going to impress me.
The dude from the first move who defected to the new movers cause was on similar shit, trying to impress me with fake prices, and talking about prison, gangs, and guns. What you really trying to do, you trying to come off cool, or are you trying to earn my respect to conquer your fear?
We were chopping it up and he was entertaining to interact with. Reminded me of my homie fat boy a little bit. I made a poor trade with him on something that I failed to inspect, it was a high quality for low quality trade.
He ended up leaving before we started unloading the second job. The point is, bragging on that type of shit doesn’t make you look cool, and during the course of interaction I’m going to know one way or another what’s up with you, but none of that shit changes how I look at you or how I interact with you.
At the end of the move the customer started in with Bible verses and saying we were living in the end times. I was frustrated by that stupidity and told her her deity was fake. Went into the basic explanation of liberty as the basis for morality, told her her deity is a hypocrite and evil because she believes god created humans to serve god or be tormented which are purposes he would not want to come into existence under, and that shows he doesn’t love others as he loves himself. Then I went into a series of half points about gospel authorship and dating that I didn’t deliver or complete the points for.
I bought a sleeve for my elbow that took away most of the pain while moving. I also misread my body in the last entry. As funny or as stupid as this sounds I think my issues the day before where I was easily winded, and felt some pressure on my chest were a product of having to take a shit, the pain in my elbow, and not eating before going to the job.. Because yesterday I ran hard for 10 hours and felt fine. I’m pretty tired and sore today. But that’s a good job, I caught $340 including the tip.
There’s a rest area about 40 miles from the job so I drove out here last night. I sleep better at rest areas than I do parking lots but it was difficult to fall asleep after I woke up at 7. I may take one more day off and go to the gym and do some quality writing tomorrow.
I don’t like to talk about where I came from, it makes it seem like I’m doing the same shit they’re doing when in fact I’m just qualifying why that shit doesn’t impress me even if it is true. In the past I used to bring up being incarcerated, but this would usually be an explanation when asked about size which is where I put on the base of my physique. Not that I’m super big or in great shape but something above average with a few extra pounds. Secondly I might have mentioned it as an explanation for mannerisms.
Malcom made a good point when he said there’s nothing wrong with having been a criminal if you no longer remain a criminal. I’m no longer involved with that kind of lifestyle, but I don’t condemn many aspects of it. 1st because most criminality is a response to an individual’s circumstances that are imposing on him. 2nd because there are laws that do not prevent imposition, therefore some behavior that is criminal is not morally wrong.
4/26/2022
It seems every job I get someone is asking me how old I am and what area I’m in. Feels like some deliberate conspiracy to attack my confidence by reminding me I am old, homeless, and performing shitty work. I don’t like that shit because I’m well aware of how bad it looks to be as old as I am and the situation I find myself in. I’m embarrassed by my perception of your ignorance. Some would say my inability to effectively promote myself and my rebuttal is you cannot market truth to a people who cannot accept truth, where if something cannot be shown to be wrong then it is true, and that thing being true has consequences in the causes that produce it and in the effects it produces. My problems are a product of people’s immoral behavior, in the inability to understand the value of the truth as it relates to liberty of self, and the liberty of others.
That imposition is explained in Liberty the Definitive Moral Truth and elsewhere. It’s influenced externally. The subconscious already moves the conscious mind to a perception most conducive to the creation of positive feelings. This is the basis for bias, value preservation, ensuring the things we do that cause us to feel good will continue to cause us to feel good. And a lot of what causes us to feel good depends on what we understand to be true.
There is the natural human inclination to lie to one’s self in order to preserve understanding and values, but there has also been the effort of psychology to manufacture social norms that reduce negative feelings, which reinforces self deception because it is the conscious and subconscious (through the feelings experienced) valuation of positive feelings above the value of the truth.
It’s an interesting topic, fat is beautiful, everybody gets a ribbon, good vibes only no one gets to have an opinion unless it falls within what is acceptable, and what is acceptable are those things that do not cause negative feelings, even if the only acceptable things are untrue.
Plan another project and forget about it before I even get started on it. You cannot stay motivated to produce something for which there is no outlet. While you would think you would still like doing these things and therefore you would do them this is a little bit different. I haven’t reread my books in awhile because it frustrates me that no one has acknowledged some of these observations.
Writing in this is more for me than it is for a would be audience. The weight that I feel as a product of perceiving other people’s perception of these circumstances influences how I perceive myself, and reminding myself of how I arrived at the place I have arrived at returns me to an objective perception.
A fool would say that this is an example of bias, the effort of my subconscious to create a justification to preserve my value of myself. That could be true if the explanation termed justification wasn’t true. I know this is a straw man I’m knocking over but it was the first thought I had after I read it back.
Sure, 5, 10, 15 years ago I could have worked and saved and would have the career, possessions, resources, and security more comparable to people my age. But that isn’t where I want to be.
Would I be better off having acquired things but never acquired objectivity, the discoveries, understanding, and intelligence that grew out of it? I may feel better within those circumstances but I wouldn’t be better.
I don’t think anyone has ever had my degree of certainty and acceptance in life. Nothing special about me other than a learned propensity to replace false information with true information and through discovery of the correct understanding of morality.
What do I plan to do? Short term I’m hoping to make some money between now and Sunday and get a hotel room for the week before the job here is supposed to start. Then I plan on working this project and the Del Rio project which should provide me about 8 to 10 weeks of work where I should be able to save 4 to 5 thousand dollars, and then I’ll set up somewhere, probably St. Louis area. Rent is cheap, I can make money there, and there is an adequate level of disatisfaction there.
I haven’t been doing shit for days, watching YouTube, playing dominos online, eating, and working. Unmotivated.
5/3/2022
There was a YouTube poll in my feed asking whether Roe. V. Wade should be overturned. There was almost a majority of votes for unsure which was interesting to me. With the implications being that states will be tasked with regulating abortion, you would think that most people are either for it, or against it. This means the implications of the poll numbers is a great majority of people don’t know what Roe.vWade does.
I’m in the unique position of being pro choice, but also not caring if Roe. V. Wade is overturned. I wrote about this in the Camp Journal when the case to determine whether the state of Mississippi’s abortion law is constitutional was going to be heard by the supreme court
Liberty states that action that does not interfere with the liberty of others is right action. A fetus is not conscious and therefore has no liberty to impose on. Morally, I don’t see anything wrong with abortion.
Secondly, knowing that 2/3rds of people born in the bottom 40% of income earners will remain in the bottom 40% of income earners, and how these circumstances are often trapping, create a predisposition to commit crime, and to become drug dependant, why would you want to subject someone to those circumstances?
Consider the life of Carl Panzaram. He was born into horrible circumstances, the victim of poverty and abuse, he became a serial rapist and killer, and was eventually executed. In my casual familiarity with his story, in his life, other than probably raping and killing you don’t find any noteworthy positive periods or even experiences. A shitty life from the moment he can remember to the moment he was executed. I’m not implying that most or even some unplanned pregnancy will produce serial killers, but I am saying the circumstances many people are born into often produce a low quality of life, consequences to the public, and a good people either eliminate those circumstances, or they don’t force people to come into existence within them.
In addition to the interest of the fetus after birth is the interests of the parents, who shouldn’t be forced to take on the responsibility of a child.
Not only do I see abortion as morally right, I see the prohibition of abortion as morally wrong indirectly. The prohibition being morally wrong because it forces life to come into being in trapping and disadvantaged circumstances, and imposes responsibility on the parents, preventing them from doing what they’d otherwise be doing without the child.
Constitutionally a fetus doesn’t have any rights because a fetus hasn’t been born to receive any rights. Conversely a woman does have rights including the right to privacy which is the basis for a woman to choose to have an abortion.
As I said it is morally wrong, but if over turned I don’t believe it will prevent anyone who wants an abortion from getting an abortion. I wrote in the Camp Journal that non-profits will be created to facilitate abortions for people who cannot afford to go to another state to have an abortion in those places where the practice is prohibited. I mention that I originally wrote it in the Camp Journal, because about a month later I learned there was a non-profit beginning to engage in such work, preparing to scale up should Roe v. Wade be overturned. Obviously those who want an abortion can afford to travel to other states to get one.
With that said, allowing states to regulate abortion within their states absent constitutional restrictions doesn’t prevent access to abortion, even if it does impose on the time and resources of people within the state who want to get an abortion. Still morally wrong, but let these people reap the consequences of their ignorance and stupidity.
Abortion is only an issue because ignorant Christians (ignorant being a descriptive redundancy when placed before the word Christian) who are typically relatively comfortable and many who have not known difficult circumstances use the issue to add meaning to their very narrow lives. It’s the same as any other group, where the issue is used to activate the members through the activity. It’s an opportunity for image promotion, where people think others see them and are impressed with their commitment, or image promotion before their deity. Politicians tap into this to get these people to the polls which is an issue that doesn’t improve anyone’s quality of life and distracts from the main issue which is making progress in the creation of better opportunities for time and money for low income people.
Banning abortion in places where it will be banned is a good example of imposing a subjective preference on others since the act itself does not impose on anyone, and outlawing the act imposes on others.
It will also lead to some interesting stories of DIY abortions, probably the prosecution of rouge doctors, and other undesirable consequences. What else would you expect from a tyrant species? The best way to reduce abortions is to eliminate the circumstances that cause women to have abortions to begin with. Those efforts change the balance of power, improve quality of life, and are not in the interests of those who create the narratives that these ignorant people think through.
On the other side of it isn’t all bad. The reason it isn’t all bad is because stupid people should be allowed to create rules to impose on themselves. It does decentralize power and allow people to have more autonomy in their lives. It creates an obstacle for abortion but doesn’t actually prevent it. This is why I don’t believe any nation has the right to impose on another nation because they don’t agree with the rights, laws, or some other aspect of organization that they’ve chosen. People should have a right to self determination.
With that said, what’s unfortunate about Roe v. Wade as it stands now likely being overturned, is that abortion regulation will take place at the state level which is still too broad an authority, where many who would vote for a party based on non-abortion issues will elect people who will impose on a good portion of not a majority within the state who would benefit from abortion not being excessively regulated or outlawed. The benefit of decentralizing power isn’t realized because it still remains too centralized on the state level. If it could be taken out of the hands of the state and placed into the area of city or county authority this would be better, since the localities that prefer it not to take place in their area would have their rules and the other areas could have theirs. Of course as I mentioned, if the cause of these non-thinking creatures is to reduce abortions, over turning Roe .v Wade doesn’t accomplish this.
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I came across an article called the dark trifecta of personality disorders, the narcissist, psychopath, and Makavelian. It’s so ridiculous to use a set of behaviors and pretend it is significantly representative of what a person is. Behavior begins with circumstances, therefore patterns of behavior are a product of what produces positive feelings within those circumstances. Different circumstances can produce nearly the whole range of behavior from the same person. After circumstances, behavior begins with an objective.
Depending on an individual’s circumstances, a person may exhibit certain behavior under some circumstances that they wouldn’t exhibit under other circumstances. If an individual’s circumstances cause a pattern of behavior that checks enough boxes they receive the sum of that behavior as a personality assignment.
What bothers me the most is the negative connotations attached to these labels. The article states that everyone has some level of narcissism. This causes the label to be meaningless. How can this represent anyone’s personality, if it represents a part of everyone’s personality to different degrees? Personality and personality types is complete trash. It doesn’t matter what person’s behavioral tendencies are, what matters is why they engage in that behavior and the consistency of that reasoning.
I check boxes, but my opinion of myself is based on being a person who objectively sought out what was right, discovered it, and applied it. I have a very high opinion of myself because I do that which I know to be good. I also have difficulties establishing and maintaining relationships, but there are a number of reasons for this. The first of which is my opportunities to meet people are limited, the second is my interests and understanding beyond the superficial is much different than that of other people in this country and on this planet. The final reason is the maintenance of relationships requires purposes for interaction, and I often don’t have purposes to pursue interaction with the few people I do meet.
The point is, people are not the way they are because they are that way, every decision is sequencing, assignment and comparison, and different circumstances produce different behavior. More importantly, these labels are used to discredit and create prejudice against people.
5/6/2022
I did a moving job that was fairly lucrative at least by my present very low standards. We made $280 for 8.5 hours work, but that was courtesy of the customer, who was generous and rewarded us with $100 tip. Otherwise we’d have only made $180.
I had to remind the driver about the nature of our relationship when he said he needed help outside and there was someone there who at the time wasn’t doing much of anything. He also told me to hurry up when I was already moving faster than everyone else. I asked him what the fucks wrong with you and he said he didn’t know? 😂. I told him I don’t work for him, I’m an independent contractor who is providing services to the company, I don’t work for the company and you are not my boss. This is true, I’m providing labor services to accomplish the task of moving the items from the truck into the house, placing them at the customers desired location, and assembling the items, creating as little damage as is possible to the items or the structure. And how I choose to do that is my choice. Our professional relationship is more like him as my customer, than it is him as my employer. I told him not to micromanage me or we were going to have problems, as in me getting paid for my time in and him only having 2 guys to complete the move.
I didn’t know there was more at the storage, so believing that the move would be completed under the 5 hour minimum, I wanted to finish it as quickly as possible. Having 2 guys outside to take items off of the truck and one guy moving items into the house who would not be able to take items up the stairs didn’t make any sense, other than maybe he didn’t want to pull items from the truck to the lift gate. But at this time I was under the impression that we would finish in under 5 hours based on the items we received, and what was left in the truck before I discovered there was a second truck. I still would have asked what the fuck was wrong with him and gave him the rundown on what was going on anyway, because it was part of a broader pattern of behavior.
Prior to this I was waiting for the second man to unwrap his piece of furniture so we could carry both of them up the stairs as both were two man pieces. He told me to go get boxes after the customer already stated he wanted furniture first, and there isn’t a huge area to store furniture before you’ve blocked your access to the house. Secondly, taking furniture up stairs around a curve is very labor intensive, so it made sense that we would take a piece or two up if they were two man pieces, and then get a rest to unwrap the following pieces of furniture. When he first said it I stood up from the piece of furniture I was leaning on, then I decided fuck that and returned to the piece of furniture. After a moment he said it again I told him this piece of furniture needs to go up, and that piece needs to go up and they’re both 2 man pieces. He asked the customer if these were going upstairs and the customer confirmed.
Prior to him asking me for help and telling me to hurry up, I came outside and saw him and the other laborer smoking and talking. I said I guess it’s break time. I walked past the truck, hit my vape a few times and proceeded to my car where I mixed a water with lemon juice and drank it. I usually have a bottle of lemon juice with me to flavor my water. I like the taste and it’s more refreshing.
It wasn’t this one incident either, although had it been I may have reacted the same way. I was recognizing the pattern of him misunderstanding our relationship, or I perceived that he thought I was the one who he got to control for the day, probably because I was white and the other two were black. As I said, although the guy I was working with worked steady all day, and after his first roughly hour there the other guy worked well too but still found some time to fuck off, I was moving the fastest and you’re going to tell me to hurry up? You got the wrong one buddy, there ain’t no Pepsi over here. Ray Charles Pepsi commercial reference (got the wrong one), I know most of you are too young to know about that.
90 percent of the time I’m trying to provide the best possible service to who ever I’m working for, and will go above and beyond for customer satisfaction and the possibility of a bonus. But when you cross that managerial line I’ll remind you about the nature of our relationship.
Things improved later in the day, he was apologetic towards me, and when somebody takes one step back I take two steps back, because I don’t like the idea that you feel indebted to me, or you feel like if you say something to me about what should be prioritized I’m going to remind about our relationship.
When he came back with the other guy with the second load, I was cleaning and folding blankets. There were only a few pieces left in the garage, 2 man pieces and steady all day was on his phone, so I decided to fold blankets for him. When he came back he asked me to fold blankets. So I kept folding blankets while the last maybe 4th of the truck on the second load was being unloaded. We had a cigarette and talked, but I continued folding blankets as we smoked. I typically don’t smoke cigarettes, I do vape, but every once in awhile when I have the opportunity to while working, or maybe drinking I’ll have a cigarette. And I told him he pissed me off telling me to hurry when I was already moving at a fast pace.
It was a tough move, 3 bedrooms upstairs, 2700cf total. I did legs at the gym the day before and applied some new techniques, so my legs were already sore. He had a lot of furniture going upstairs around a tight turn. For the most part we didn’t hit the walls. I did break the handle on his heavy ass wardrobe. He was upset about it and rightfully so. I wanted to apologize to him, but it seems so inauthentic and doesn’t accomplish anything. Obviously I wasn’t trying to do it, we were coming around the turn and I needed to lift it onto the stair, I thought it would hold to go up 6 inches. It’s minor, the fixture looks like it has a nail that goes through it, otherwise it screws into something. It’s repairable. If I felt like I could have repaired it I would have, I just didn’t believe I had the tools or materials to repair it properly. That’s worth something, having righted the wrong entirely, I’m sorry isn’t. Although I tried to provide him good service all day, I tried to raise the bar even higher to make up for my poor judgment. He had issues with things the other guys did, in the assembly of the mirror, and in the other guys bringing the mattress up and placing it, then removing the plastic which I presume either pulled the bed out of position, or left plastic under the mattress. He said something like come on guys, did you take the plastic off after you put the mattress down? Which isn’t to toot my own horn, only that I did focus more on what I was doing after breaking the handle.
There was a somewhat funny moment. I didn’t know there was more to load. At one point I came out to the garage to pick up an item and I saw the truck pulling away. I thought the items were all unloaded and he was leaving without paying us. I jumped in my car and began following him. I remembered that I had his number. I had the number to the owner of the company not his number initially but when I arrived he gave me the drivers number. So I called him and asked if he was leaving without paying us and he said he was picking up the rest of the load and he’d be back. So I returned to the house and continued helping steady all day. (I don’t think I asked or he provided his name so I’m calling him steady all day because he worked at pretty fast pace steady all day)
Regardless of these interactions, he worked hard all day and the driver contributed minimally. Which is fine, but at the end of the day usually drivers will give you a reasonable round up for making their job easy. He only had 100s. We were due $170, but since it was actually after 5:30 and we started at 9 he rounded it up to 9 hours. He asked if we had $20 and we all said that we didn’t. Instead of this cheap and ungrateful mother fucker just giving us $200 after we bust our ass to complete a very demanding job, he says follow me to the gas station. Not only does he not want to show appreciation for our hard work, he would rather sacrifice his time to go to a gas station than to pay $60. On a move that cost $16,800 (customer stated he paid him $8400 in case we knew someone with a questionable past interested in the opportunity. In interstate moving the customer usually pays half upfront and half on delivery). The labor cost for the second half of the move was $540.
I don’t know how it was moved so I can’t calculate the cost. I don’t know if they paid a carrier to take it to the storage, if they brought it themselves, or if they brought it in 2 26 footers. All of those variables impact the price to transport, and then there is probably about $200 a month in storage space on that job if it was held for a month.
There is a lot of money in interstate moving. I don’t like the nature of the work in a foreman or partner capacity. You have to lie everyday. Everyday you have to tell the customer that they’re taking up more space than they really are. You tell them this is how much you have and this is the cost. In most situations they have to pay. My aversion to premeditated deception (which is deception of consequence in that it costs people money) is so strong that I needed a system that bore some semblance to being fair. I would increase the price by telling the customer that the space between the lines was wider than it actually was, and then they would have a way to verify how much space they’re using.
The truth is that if people want to move across the country this is the system that exists. A lot of jobs are taken on by a broker who keeps the initial deposit. Brokers fight to keep their prices low to attract customers. When the moving company gets the job it’s already too low to make money, so some increase is always required on broker jobs, and the most common practice is doubling the price. It usually takes time to get another moving company to come out, so often the customer has to pay whatever price is named and double typically isn’t beyond the customers ability to pay. The market is as it is, deception is required and is a defacto demand of the consumer, since people would rather have and use the service than not to, and the service cannot exist except through the current mechanisms that require deception. And you can say raise the prices to where they should be, but if the prices are made known in advance all the companies that continue to do it this way will get all the jobs.
Even knowing this, I didn’t like lying everyday. More importantly the longer I do a job I don’t like doing the more I resent the job and the poorer my performance becomes as a consequence. Consciously and subconsciously. There’s more important shit I should be doing I just don’t have the resources or attention to do it. In the beginning of working a job I need the money for survival and there is the prospect of acquiring the resources to be able to do those things. There were some other reasons I didn’t continue interstate moving, signs that my relationship with my so called partner were not what they seemed and it was beginning to impact the prospects of gaining those resources required for freedom. But the reason I haven’t tried to go back is because I don’t like the deceptive nature of the job, and you typically have no time.
Secondly I obviously don’t have the money to fund a trip with a rental truck. Otherwise I could probably get a 50/50 with a moving company, splitting the costs of storage, truck rental, using their carrier and broker board connections. There are a lot of companies who would take that deal because it’s making more money for access to their DOT number, broker boards, and carrier connections. The other thing is it can be physically demanding, extremely time consuming where you’re starved for sleep, and you can stop giving much of a fuck very quickly. Wrap furniture poorly, stuff it in the truck and go. I hated the job but it was a good opportunity for money.
After interstate moving in 2018, I had to replace my car, saw my daughter and spent some money there, and after I finished with some money saved hoping to get started I was arrested in Florida for 3 grams of weed, a pipe with weed residue, and 4 10 mg gummy edibles that I was initially charged with 2 felonies and 4 misdemeanors for. (Story is in Florida Ordeal book) This cost me a substantial amount of money relative to what I had that forced me back to Wisconsin to fight those charges.
I had some setbacks working FF&E, car and legal issues that required money, and I was forced out of it before I could save the amount I wanted to save. I did learn from the experience though having unsuccessfully tried to promote with the $5500 I did save.
So now I’m waiting to go back to FF&E to try to save 4 to 5k over the next 6 to 8 weeks. Waiting to go do this time, but hoping it comes sooner rather than later. I intend to go back to St. Louis Monday if I don’t hear from him with a definite date. Maybe sooner because tomorrow it’s going to be 95 plus low 70s for the low and I don’t know if I can handle that in the car. If it’s a low of 70 or 72, it means it might still be 80 at midnight. And not drop into the mid 70s until 3am. Even low 70s is uncomfortable to sleep in.
I can afford $150 maybe $200 a week but there isn’t likely anyone willing to rent to me on terms that will provide enough comfort for me to be willing to spend the money, and that’s if anyone will rent me a room for 1 week and in consideration of my circumstances where although I work regularly, I don’t have a set schedule.
I should have work on Sunday, and a quick assembly Monday morning which is the reason I plan on waiting until Monday. Hopefully I find something for tomorrow as well because I don’t know how I’m going to do 95.
5/7/2022
Today I heard on the radio that a poll was taken asking people if they would buy a house someone was killed in, and 50% of people said they would not. It suggests that half the people in this country believe in and are afraid of something for which there is absolutely no evidence for: the dead being able to harm the living. This force you to acknowledge that at least half of people are willing to believe things without evidence based on their response to the poll. So what else do they believe without evidence, and obviously they cannot be persuaded by evidence since the absence of evidence for the existence of something is evidence to the contrary.
Most people are like this to different degrees depending on the subject, so I don’t want to make it a half the people kind of thing. Nearly all the people depending on the subject. Self deception.
I was thinking about a consequence of Roe. V. Wade being overturned if it is overturned. It will be a new rallying point and probably already is for women’s rights. We’ll get a healthy dose of women’s rights are under attack, gender inequality, and the promotion of the myth that gender is a source of disadvantage.
These things go hand and hand, the promoters of gender disadvantage are also the promoters of race is a disadvantage, sexuality is a disadvantage, ethnicity is a disadvantage, and everything is a disadvantage as long as it isn’t class which is against the interests of industry the directors of public policy.
In recent years past, the Democrats decided they would echo the rhetoric of radical groups in order to gain their support. Most of the issues they promote are not actually issues, but people don’t care, because if they believe it’s an issue they can be against it and experience moral gratification by opposing it. And we know people are not persuaded by evidence they believe what feels good to believe.
My issue is these issues distract from the actual issue which is inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money. Quality of life is determined by income, time, and know how, where the last one can be gained through the 1st 2.
Conservatives will hurt their own cause if Roe v. Wade is overturned because it will rally the Democrats and independents around this issue. Considering that some places in this country want to teach children about gender identity, critical race theory, defunding the police, open borders, prioritize race, gender, and sexuality instead of promoting opportunities for people to have better incomes, open borders, as well as wasteful spending on programs that do not lead to meaningful quality life changes among other things, is it worth it? Is it worth it when even if you’re stupid enough to believe that a fetus is a person, or it goes against the wishes of your deity, you’re not stopping abortions, only creating some difficulty for a person who lives in your state who wants to have an abortion.
5/10/2022
I just realized I been in DFW for over a month, primarily sleeping at the same location, a Walmart in Irving, initially in route for a job I was told we would start the 2nd or 3rd week of April in Del Rio. This job was pushed back but there was a job in Dallas we were supposed to be starting on the 8th that was pushed back due to delays in customs. Today as I was about to return to St. Louis I learned the job should be starting on Wednesday.
Without this job through Mark from Premier, I’m pretty fucked, and I know it. It’s the only income opportunity I have where I can get far enough ahead to be able to do something. Where I can go to an area and start a campaign to be elected to the house.
Along those lines, I was thinking about an incentive to encourage companies to implement a round up gratuity program to allow satisfied customers to show appreciation to the crew members. We’ll offer those that implement the program a point or half a point whichever prove to be fiscally sustainable off of their payroll tax. It won’t cost the public anything because the additional money collected in income tax will more than cover what’s lost in the payroll tax credit for participating businesses.
A similar approach can be made to encourage businesses to participate in Lowest Paid Employee Wage Disclosure labeling.
We have Balance Stimulus, FCC Media Disclosure, The Just Law Amendment, Public Gas Subsidy for Low Income People, Centers for Economic Planning, and allow the Palestinian people to consider The Option.
Whether I’m successful or not, I’ll be able to attract attention to myself, material, and ideas. Considering how I will probably be attacked for some of the things I’ve written, it’ll be a good opportunity to explain the morality and consistency of those things written that some would consider wrong, offensive, or inappropriate.
I think I can create a grass roots campaign based on the strength of my ideas that can win somewhere. I may also be able to fund raise from some notable entities.
Who do people want? Do they want the same rhetoric spewing posers that is trying to tell them what they want to know, or would you rather have someone who is truly committed to his ideals, and his ideals are rooted in a commitment to his morality which is objective based on the human constant. Someone who is pushing the talking points for legislation or someone who wants the public to understand what legislation will do, who it benefits, and why it’s being promoted? Do they want someone whose pride in himself guarantees authenticity?
I can go on but I’m going to cut it here.
5/12/2022
I am extremely tired. I worked a job in Rockwall spreading compost for a man named Ken. He had 7 yards of compost, which by my estimation was approximately 110 wheel barrels full, about 15 shovels full per wheel barrel in and out, putting my shovel repetitions in the neighborhood of 3000. It turned out being much more difficult than I anticipated but he compensated me well and more importantly he went to my website and purchased two of my books. I probably would have spread the compost and gave him the books just for the prospect of having my material read.
I was pretty good between the hours of 11;15 to 3pm. At 3pm I took a half hour lunch break and when I returned at 3:30 the second half of the day was a little bit rough. I would bring a wheel barrel to the front and unload it and would be pouring sweat. Then I’d bring the wheelbarrow back to refill and drink some water. I must have drank somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 to 2.5 gallons of water and didn’t pee at all. At the end of the day when we had 20 to 30 wheelbarrows left his wife helped find places for the extra compost and probably took care of about 10 wheel barrels. I didn’t say anything but I was pretty worn out towards the end and appreciated her contribution. 9 hours minus my lunch break in 95 degree heat.
Note: RUGO was not feasible but was the predecessor of RUSC
I mentioned the round up gratuity program to him. He did have a criticism that was somewhat valid. He said that companies may implement the program but then lower employees base wage if they begin earning too much through RUGO. That’s definitely a possibility if not an inevitably if the incentive for implementation doesn’t plan for it. So, to remedy that issue when I create the incentive legislation, for a business that implements RUGO to get the tax credit, they’ll have to meet a base salary wage that is comparable to businesses in similar markets that have not implemented RUGO.
The fact is, what a company pays an employee isn’t based on what the company can afford while maintaining an adequate profit. Companies pay what people are willing to work for in the area where they need labor. If a company implements RUGO and their employees are now making $20 per hour, with a base salary of $13, the company could drop the base salary to the minimum wage or below since the RUGO may put them $13 to $15, and people in the area have already shown a willingness to work at that rate. In that scenario, all that’s happened is the company makes more and workers income has not improved.
The incentive to encourage high volume transaction industries like fast food, gas station, retail stores and others to implement round up gratuity is going to be a 10 percent reduction in payroll tax. This is a preliminary number that could increase or decrease after I do some research and estimates, but the idea is that these high volume transaction businesses will implement a program where customers can round up their purchase to the nearest dollar to show appreciation for service and this money will be split up among the workers. In the incentive to prevent companies from reducing wages there will be a stipulation where in order to qualify for the tax credit, the company must pay employees a base salary that is equal to 90% of the median wage paid for that position for employees who are not working for a company that has implemented RUGO. In the event that we reach a place where an entire sector of the economy has implemented RUGO which is not unrealistic, than the company will be required to maintain a base salary that is equal to the amount it paid it’s employees before it implemented RUGO, adjusted for inflation if more than 5 years have passed. That is how we solve that issue, and I’m very glad Ken brought that up, because to me, it’s more of an inevitably than it is a possibility if I don’t account for it beforehand.
I’m very tired today. After finishing the job yesterday I discovered that the Bucks won game 5 against the Celtics, and they won it in amazing fashion. I couldn’t fall asleep.
In order to get elected to the house even in a district with low voter turnout requires about 150,000 votes. There’s an average of about 750,000 people per district. It’s difficult to imagine any scenario where I win or even get a significant portion of the vote without running under one of the major parties. What’s interesting is I can run under either, but I also cannot run under either. Policywise my differences with republicans is their religion, and nationalism, and nationalism spills over into many policy issues including my main purpose which is efforts to create mechanisms of balance within our current capitalist system.
The idea of capitalism is perfect, people decide what they are going to produce and bring it to market, which is superior to the idea that the government will decide what will be produced and how it will be distributed and how citizens will be assigned within the process. The idea used to be that if you didn’t have money to fund your own business or the skills you could work for someone else while you acquire the money and or skills to start your own business. Those opportunities do not exist for many in practice where often expenses are equal to people’s incomes. If everybody started from the same position capitalism would be great because people would decide what they did and everyone would be satisfied with what they’re doing. Much of what I hope to accomplish is to position people for better opportunities to have time and money. Among republicans, many who were born into some level of advantage over most others, refuse to acknowledge that disadvantage exists because it challenges ideas they have about nationalism, about the perfection and fairness of the American systems and ideals. Like I said I’m tired so this isn’t as smooth as I’ll make it at some point.
The democrats on the other hand pedal false narratives that prey on the ignorance of the population and prevent the realization of class goals. One of my biggest issues with Democrats is their efforts to distract from class as the most meaningful source of disadvantage by falsely asserting that race, gender and sexuality is a meaningful source of disadvantage. I have ceaselessly and factually shown that race, gender, and sexuality is not a source of disadvantage in this country, and those interests should not be prioritized over the interests of economically disadvantaged people, which also includes disadvantaged women, people of color, and lgbt people.
If I could choose a party I’d choose republicans and seek their support to run in an urban district with a democratic incumbent that the republicans are unlikely to win anyway. With the right support or promotion and resources I can win based on the strength of my ideas, the depth of my understanding, my consistency, and my ability to expose the contradictions of my opponent. That’s broad and doesn’t mean much but there are layers to it that I’ve been thinking about. There isn’t much benefit for republicans to support me other than if I win I’m not a democrat although I don’t toe the party line either.
I have time to think about this stuff and develop an actual strategy. First I need to make some money and get some stability somewhere. Alright, I’ll end this ramble. Very tired and need to get some sleep to restore my coherence.
5/14/2022
I was able to find a job for today and tomorrow, which means I’m taking a couple days in a hotel for some much needed rest. I wanted to get back to writing my declaration of intent to run for office, but I ran out of time.
There is a Walmart not as far to the job that I’ve stayed at on multiple other occasions. Unfortunately it’s 12 miles from the nearest planet fitness and I had to wait on confirmation for the work tomorrow. So I didn’t get back until 10:20 and I need to be up at 6:15.
This is in part just to chronicle the experience but I originally wanted to record some thoughts I had about Assignment, Sequencing, and Comparison. I don’t want to record them until I understand them better. The essence of it are how subconscious processing of information is responsible for intuitive feelings, and how the feelings and the processes create intuitive thoughts. And distinguishing intuitive thoughts from wishful thinking producing intuitive feelings and circumstances producing the desired result.
Mark texted me the other day and told me he received confirmation on the shower doors but wasn’t sure if they would be delayed in customs coming from Mexico. He told me previously that they were delayed in customs, but probably coming from China, the log jam in the California ports, and the cost of shipping in the United States, maybe they were delayed by Mexican customs and he doesn’t know if they’ll be delayed by US customs. Either way, the job is either happening, already happened, or will happen, and I don’t really have much standing or purpose to confront the possible contradiction. If there is no job it doesn’t matter if I tell him I suspect him of stringing me along because there is no job. And if there is a job I don’t want to jeopardize that opportunity because if I work with him for a year, I should be able to save 20 to 30k minimally, gain some stability somewhere, and begin a campaign to run for the house.
The only issue is it’s left me out here in this Texas heat, but that isn’t on him. Knowing from experience how jobs don’t start on time I started heading towards the job before the dates were confirmed.
5/16/2022
I rented a room yesterday for 2 nights. I spent time working on a declaration of intent to run for office but spent most of my time eating, laying in bed, and sleeping. I haven’t laid in a bed since I was being treated for my pulmonary embolism in December. Well, a little bit later in December I slept on an air mattress while camping, but this is the first time in 2022 that I’ve slept in a bed.
Part of the reason I rented a room was to finish this declaration of intent. I use Google Docs which works offline and is supposed to save to my Chromebook. But sometimes it doesn’t. I meant to click off a different tab and I clicked off the tab from that document. Then when I went to open the document it was gone. That’s pretty disappointing.
The purpose of the document which includes positions on popular issues as well as ideas I’m promoting is to send the document to different chapters of parties to either gain support or at least draw attention to my material. And maybe that’s a bad idea since people perceived as more viable candidates for the party could run on my ideas. The problem being these candidates will not see the ideas through, or will allow them to be contaminated to serve the interests of industry who they represent.
I’m in trouble. Stay in trouble, but I’ve been in this AC for 2 days going back out tomorrow. Mark says this job is supposed to start this week but IDK if it is ever going to start, and if I should save myself the trouble and leave DFW. I’ve been wrestling with this decision since I arrived, and I either find a job to work before I’m about to go, or I get an update from Mark that restores my confidence that I’ll be able to work with him again, save some money, and then be able to try again.
I’ll stop here before I start getting dark.
5/20/2022
I was omw out of Texas, maybe 60 miles into OK, when I received a text confirmation that the job would begin on Wednesday.
i had 2 good days of playing poker won a tournament yesterday for a little over 200, cashed out about 210 and left 27 to play with. I was running bad this morning but still managed 2nd in a tournament worth 175. Winning tournaments is a mood enhancer.
I may have lost a big spider in my car. I saw this big spider on my windshield. It was black with white stripes and furry. Instead of leaving it alone, thinking it could be venomous I turned the key and used the windshield wipers thinking he’d be squashed or flung from the car. Of course all it did was move him from the bottom of my windshield to my open window. I scrambled to roll up the window and he crawled along the door. He had green eyes and large fangs. He looked like a killer.
i grabbed some tissue to smash him. I rolled down the window and he ran underneath my side mirror. When I tried to smash him he ran down my window track. I don’t know which side of the window he ran down.
I looked it up and it’s a North American Jumping Spider. It’s harmless, but I’m still not thrilled about the prospect of him crawling on me at some point. I’m going to assume he ran down the outside of the window or put my confidence in the idea that he’ll let himself out. I might have that home alone moment before I regain my composure when Kevin puts the teraunchla on the burglar’s face.
At the gym I discovered I had a strip of sunburn only on one leg. Notable to me, usually doesn’t happen like that.
I was messaging with this POF chic and there were two comments I made that I wanted to record since they contain some insight.
After making a few ice breaker jokes I asked what her process was to meet up for drinks and she said energy. I really hate that stupid shit, vibes and energy which after she said a lounge was the adult version of a bar I asked and she confirmed that energy was the adult word for a vibe? 😂
She prides herself on the idea of being an adult which means x, y, and z to her.
I explain that I don’t like the expression because it isn’t saying anything. It’s a generic term for a series of positive feelings produced by someone’s behavior or feelings produced while they are present that you associate with that person. I used to think about that when my daughter would listen to music with her boyfriend, that the feelings produced by the music would become associated with her boyfriend and vice versa. The point being, the word generally describes positive feelings occurring as the result of interacting with someone, it says nothing about how the feelings are produced. It’s the equivalent of saying I want someone to make me feel good, which is obvious so these chic’s on here talking about we have to vibe, or I just want to vibe, or the energy has to be right, ain’t saying shit.
She couldn’t understand this very basic point I was making, she was biased because she uses the word, so she tried to transfer the meaning onto another word, saying I was overthinking it, and she means a connection. I restarted the point that I wasn’t overthinking it, that is what it is.
Later the conversation turned towards what a connection is, and that’s primarily the product of commonalities in likes, and a lot of what a person likes is based on their perspective, and their perspective is the product of life experience and the information they’ve been exposed to. (You can understand the main points without understanding the parenthesis portion: We could also go further where the organization of that information is a product of assignments of cause and effect, and true and false, influenced by how the information makes them feel, which is also influenced by feelings associated with moral assignments and subjective standards which represent prioritized values).
I mentioned this highlighting that I don’t connect very well with people because I have a very diverse range of life experiences and have exposed myself to more information, in the objective pursuit of the answers to questions, which means my perspective is much different than other people’s. That was the explanation for why my profile is very direct in my intentions, which basically states I’m interested in women for casual social and sexual purposes.
Another thing I don’t like about the vibe energy concept is it reinforces magical ideas, like there’s something mystic between people, which contributes to perspectives that things are just happening. That’s most people’s perception, that there are things just randomly happening around them and that reality is influenced by mystic forces. God, their dead loved ones, the universe, etc. I saw a woman whose screen name was Scorpio lover. 😂 My mom used to say usually jokingly when someone would do something that didn’t make sense “what are you fucking stupid”, it’s funny because she isn’t calling people stupid, she’s asking, that’s why it’s funny to me
People are so full of shit and prefer to be that, that there’s not a lot of connectability. I mean even in this brief exchange I’m encountering a person who cannot accept that she’s been making an empty statement with her energy qualification, without even making it to the implications of such an idea. Scorpio lover was not the user I was messaging with just a profile I saw browsing.
I figured out how I’m going to write my declaration of intent. I’m going to create a basic 20 points of candidacy and footnote the explanation for the points.
Had some other shit I was going to discuss but I’m tired.
6/6/2022
I’ve been back to work with Premier for about a week and agitating incidents forced me to reflect on this last week and the people I’ve been working with.
1st is more of a mild irritation. I had some pants that I used to like that I stopped wearing because they had a hole in the ass. The product of wearing size 38 but still being able to get in a pair of 36s. I liked the pants and thought I could wear them as work pants. I put them on and looked in the mirror and it looked like the shirt covered the rip. So I decided to wear them. I think the movement of filling my cooler, bending over and putting it in the passenger seat, and sitting down in the seat may have ripped them more but I’m not sure about this. Later in the day prior to lunch I felt the pants rip more as I was unboxing. While it did create a good breeze I couldn’t help but realize I had a giant rip extending to the waist seem to below the pocket.
I also lost my safety glasses. I put them in my vest pocket while I was unboxing because the safety guy is on vacation and the Moss guys are rarely in the building. I went back to the rooms I unboxed since I took them off but I couldn’t find them.
We finished the third floor and brought the garbage down. It was about 11:30. I texted Mark that I split my pants and lost my safety glasses. The second being more important because if I am caught without any safety glasses in my possession there is a possibility that I could be suspended from the site or that Mark could be fined. It was important for me to get to the store to buy some new safety glasses. I texted him to ask if I can take lunch at 11:30 and he responded that he was good with it but said my pants were ripped to the pocket when I arrived, implying that I was lying about my pants. Which is why they may have ripped more on the way to work, but also definitely ripped more while I was working.
Its mildly annoying because it implies that I woke this morning and planned on using the pants to take an 11:30 lunch. We arrived at 6:30, by 11:30 we’ve worked for 5 hours, and if I had some need to take an 11:30 lunch I would tell Mark what that need was and he would typically let me take an 11:30 lunch. That was a mild annoyance in perceiving that he believed I lied to him.
What bothered me began with the task of unboxing the doors. When it was decided that we would be unboxing the doors me and D went to 2 and began unboxing. There are 10 doors on 2. After we unboxed about 8 Jay showed up and said we should put the doors in the shower with the hinges facing the shower control, and the doors flipped right side up where the the distance to the handle is greatest from the floor. The second part of it isn’t really necessary because before you attach the hinges you’re going to check where your handle is and you already have to put hands on the door. The detail becomes more relevant as we proceed.
D and myself finish up at least another each, I don’t remember exactly where we were. At the time I was unboxing a door in probably about 8 minutes, but was down to about 5 to 6 minutes after lunch. I was probably about 3 to 2 on D which grew to about 2 to 1 after lunch. I don’t think that’s because he’s fucking off, everytime I came in a room he was in the process. It’s unlikely he was still baiting, waiting to hear the door open to resume working because I didn’t check up on him regularly, and he was completing doors at about the same pace all day. When I do something repetitive I look for better ways to do it as I’m doing it and I’m usually consciously focused at moving quickly through the steps. I don’t expect people to keep up.
After we finish 2 to 3 more doors and dispose of the trash which took two trips, I get to the third floor and find James and Jay together in 309 and I don’t think they even began unboxing that door. D and myself unboxed an entire floor before they unboxed a single door. We finished 3 together, James unboxed 2 to 3 doors, Jay unboxed 2 to 3 doors, one of each was a collaborative effort and me and D unboxed the remaining 10 to 12 doors.
This lack of initiative and effort isn’t unique to this task. When we brought the doors in that was a 50/50 effort by both teams. No complaints there. Although I think Jay probably missed the first load trying to figure out which rooms were left and rights when most of us knew what rooms were left or rights or were discovering it as we were bringing them up despite his efforts.
If we go back to assembling the fences and hanging the netting over the elevator bay, and hanging the doors over the window openings, we had something similar that I avoided. In about 2.5 hours I finished assembling 7 guards and installing the netting. We cut the pieces and I assembled most of the legs while D assembled some of the legs the day before. Assembling the structures required attaching 3 13.5 foot studs to the three legs. By yourself the first has to be propped up with something to lay flush against all the legs. Then you do the bottom by allowing the beam to lay diagonal and estimating that the end will stick out 6 inches when you pick the beam up from the otherside. You can only put one screw in. Then you go to the last leg and work your way back to put the second screw in. It isn’t difficult but it’s a time consuming process. You measure to the middle for the middle beam and use the process from the bottom beam. And you begin by clearing a work space since most floors had garbage from other contractors and the fences require a lot of space to assemble.
After I completed 6 out of 7 of these D and Jay showed up. D helped me put the last one together which saved some time, but in the time it took me to put together 6 of these on 5 different floors, James cut 10 1 foot pieces of plywood. D helped me finish up the netting and probably knocked about 20 minutes off the process which took a little over an hour. When I finished the netting after presumably a great deal of deliberation between Jay and James, they had 1 1 foot strip attached to one sheet of plywood, and I left as Jay was attaching the first hinge to the first door. 4 hours, cut 10 1 foot strips of plywood, attached 1 1 foot strip to a door, and began to attach the first hinge.
He had Jay and D to help finish the doors. 1st I felt like I did my part, and second, had I stayed I would have probably brought the doors upstairs with D and attached all of them. So I left.
Aside from what I do remember, there have been other times that I haven’t committed the details to memory where we begin doing something (me and D) while they’re talking about strategy for things that are not impacted by what were presently doing, or things that are largely irrelevant. There’s very little initiative sometimes. Other Times they move quicker although as I said, they are much more eager to talk about work than to do it.
I was walking onto the jobsite about 12:35 when I checked my phone, may have been 12:34, GPS had me to the site 12:33. As I walked through Mark pulled up. The time is important, the fact that we were all in the parking lot at 11:25 (not Mark but Me, James, and D), I had to go to the hotel, cooked a rice bowl for lunch, changed pants, went to Walmart to buy safety glasses (and bought additional pairs for myself or anyone else who loses them), and still made it back first 5 minutes late is not important, but speaks to my respect for the job. I went up to the 4th floor and texted asking if they were on the 4th floor and received no response.
I went in the first room 409 and unboxed the door. Went to 410 and began unboxing the door. When I finished the second door it was 12:48. 12:35 to 12:48 minus the time it took me to get from outside the building to the 4th floor up the stairs. Shortly after D found me in the next room 411, and gave me a tape measure and a knife.
We finished 4, took down half the trash and went to my cooler to get some water. We went to the fifth floor expecting to find James and Jay but they weren’t there. We were down to the last 2 doors on the fifth floor when D saw Jay, James, and Mark in the parking lot at the truck. I asked what they were doing while we were knocking out these floors unboxing.
They said installing them on 9. 1st this is pretty stupid if the purpose of us unboxing is to speed up the installation process. You would start on 2 since there are already doors unboxed. Given the amount of work they did the first half of the day I was interested in how far they got with that in 3 hours.
D told me we were calling it a day. That was awfully cool of them to decide they were done or ask Mark if we were done, then leave, and no one tell me and D that we were done. We’re going to get the same amount of hours but me and D will work longer, possibly even longer than the original difference if D doesn’t notice them in the parking lot and contact them.
Now back to flipping the doors and the big picture. As far as flipping the doors if you do it it is the most difficult part of the unbox and probably more difficult for D than anyone else. We can finishing unboxing tomorrow. If we finish unboxing tomorrow what will we be doing Wednesday? We’ll probably be installing shower doors. Which means any doors not flipped will be our responsibility as well as theirs. That’s an equal distribution of the job that doesn’t add to the time of the process because it’s either time unboxing or it is time on the install when the door has to be handled anyway. We do more work.
Not only do we do more work, but we will also likely do more work. By that I mean when I checked the 9th floor I only found two doors installed. I didn’t check every room but I checked the logical starting points and rooms next to those rooms. 09 was in the box, 15 was in the box, 04 was installed, 03 was not, 05 was installed 06 was not. I don’t remember for sure, it may have been 908 or another room but I thought it was 904 that Mark installed. I could be wrong, but it means in 3 hours they installed either 1 door, or 2 doors, while me and D unboxed 2 floors. Its difficult to imagine that I will be installing shower doors at an hour and a half to 3 hours each one. Which means I’ll have done all of the unboxing and possibly the bulk of installing the doors when it’s all said and done.
What else does it mean even if they do pick up the pace? It means that me and D will do pretty much all of the unboxing to give them a head start on 2 doors. Even if they would have contributed for the first hour we were unboxing this still would have been significant in just having more of the floor done and less to do, but even when they were assigned to the task they were not contributing much. Didn’t help on the 2nd floor, and probably a half hour later they’re together in the shower in the first room on the 3rd floor and haven’t begun to unbox.
I voiced some of this in the group text and it was ignored.
What should I do? It’s difficult for me to reduce my pace because I take pride in what I do. If my initiative is going to be taken advantage of and if at least my effort isn’t going to be matched then I should adjust my effort and initiative to match that of the group.
Personally, everybody is cool and easy to get along with. I probably get along better with D because we’ve been working together and in part have a more relatable past in terms of lifestyle in some aspects. But everybody is cool. Had a good time drinking with them, we all talk shit all day long and have a positive environment. We try to have a good time working, and my criticism is strictly work related.
This isn’t to say that they don’t possess positive qualities as it relates to work. James knows an impressive amount of stuff about construction, Jay is smart and appears very capable, and D is also smart and shows more initiative and works harder than the two of them.
Prior to Allentown, which consisted of a mix of temp workers, the job was much better. Chris was great to work with having a solid understanding of nearly all aspects of the work and he worked to get the job done whatever the task was. Unfortunately there were rules in place largely based on how Chris is when he gets drunk, and he got drunk, broke the rules, and then decided to fly home after being an asshole. Unfortunate. FF&E is much different than shower door installation, but usually when temps come in, especially if they’re Craigslist temps they would see how we would work and either match our intensity to the best of their ability, or we would send them home. This is different because you have two installers who both think they’re in some upper echelon of the work, and don’t understand that Mark is the upper echelon and we work together to complete tasks.
They cuff information and try to make extra jobs out of jobs. None of this shit is very complex. They had a fucking list in an email showing what size pieces of glass went to what room. We had different sized hardware packs, with different sized handles, which one would presume is intended for the shorter pieces of glass. We were about to measure the showers on the floor to figure out where the glass went when James told me he had a list of the size of glass that went to each room. I looked at the list and was able to immediately ascertain which rooms had the short pieces of glass and received the smaller hardware boxes. James noticed that the smaller pieces of glass were referred to as B and the larger as glass A. If Mark emails you a spreadsheet, why not distribute that information to everybody? A person who is entrusted with extra responsibility should be responsible for creating efficiency, not obstructing it by setting a poor example, not sharing information, and creating an unofficial number two who is often on the same bullshit.
The details are accurate, unless they installed a third door somewhere else on the 9th floor in a room I didn’t check.
This has nothing to do with me looking for his extra responsibilities. I have other shit do, want to come to work, get shit done, and save money to try to get my shit off the ground
Other than that I’ve enjoyed the last week. It has been good socially, I’m very well paid, got up with a chic last week but she lives a little over 2 hours away. She’s down with what I’m down with. If I do go to Del Rio I’ll probably see her again.
There have been other things worth writing about but I have been too preoccupied with recreation, and recovery from work and recreation. One notable event took place yesterday when a DA released a picture of a woman who was shot by police holding a gun. There were already protests. One man said he was told the woman did not have a gun. After seeing the picture he stated he wanted to see the body cam, which is fair since a woman holding a gun doesn’t necessarily make her a threat to life or great bodily harm, but it does speak to his bias in not becoming more critical of the narrative he was following that is clearly false. What speaks more to the bias is his acceptance of the false narrative and willingness to take action on account of it to begin with. He’ll accept the narrative that she didn’t have a gun without being critical of it because it reinforces his perspective. He’ll take action based on that false narrative without doing any research to confirm it. But information that challenges his perspective he becomes excessively critical of to maintain his perspective.
6/10/2022
Today I saw that the Biden Administration wants to pass another infrastructure bill and within that bill is 7.5 billion dollar appropriation to build a substantial number of electric car charging stations. This is a good example of how issues are used to channel public funds into the hands of private companies. Infrastructure legislation is passed by selling the public on the jobs that will be created but it’s really just remuneration for campaign funds by investing companies. Second, climate change is used to channel public funds into private coffers. What’s the major impediment to American consumers purchasing electric cars? Do people prefer to pay 4.50 at the pump to drive a car because they like gasoline engines? Is it because there is not enough charging stations? No, it’s 1: most people cannot afford electric cars, and 2: manufacturers already cannot keep up with demand for electric cars.
In a free market economy, the demand for charging stations would cause people with money to create charging stations where they would be able to make a profit. In a government that operates through mechanisms of investment politics, politicians will give away public funds to their investors to create the infrastructure which will then be owned by private companies who will earn a profit with minimal or no risk.
Climate change police under Obama for example saw the allocation of 300 billion dollars to subsidize the creation of windmills, solar farms, and transmission. Grants, tax credits, 0 interest government loans, etc. It’s estimated that 2.1 trillion dollars would pay for all the infrastructure to transition the grid to 100% renewable energy, including transmission, grid upgrades, and storage. Imagine that Obama instead of repaying his donors would have begun building the infrastructure instead of using public funds to pay for the infrastructure that would go on to be owned by private companies, and then the public sold the power to power suppliers? 300 billion would cover the cost for 1/7th of grid energy required in the United States. The public would own the infrastructure that it paid for. The public would supply that power to the power suppliers at a profit. That profit could be used 1: to create more infrastructure to transition towards renewable energy. 2: it could be used to subsidize the cost of power to low income people, which means the cost to subsidize power to the poor wouldn’t have to come from the federal and state budget, and neither would perpetual investment in renewable energy, that fails to deliver a reduction in emissions that will ease the burden of climate change.
But that isn’t the way investment politics works. Every bill passed has to be supported by industry, which means every bill has to include an industry incentive. Essentially, all problems must be solved by creating an incentive for industry. As I become more settled working I need to go through the infrastructure bill that has already been passed and show where money has been allocated, who it helps, and how politically active those companies are who have received contracts through the infrastructure bill. I need a research project.
There was a study I skimmed today, really ust an article expressing the main features of a study. Psychology is such a shit psuedo science that is accepted by the mainstream as science where those who are smart enough to see the BS in the academic world see the BS. They correlate what they have classified as psychopathic tendencies with an area of the brain that is 10% larger in those who have those tendencies. People who are egocentric and antisocial, unremorseful, non-empathetic, and often criminals is how they classify a psychopath, which is also defined through dramatic impressions of the word through movies, serial killers, and otherwise.
First, everyone is egocentric, because people are the expression of their ego which is the sum of all their values. There are people who value putting others before themselves, many more in word than in deed because it is a quality that is valued by the general population. The perception that others perceive you favorably is a boost to self worth that produces positive feelings. This accounts for social norms biases, where an individual will adopt the values of a group for the social utility and feelings inherent believing they are well perceived.
For those who are altruistic in deed, that doesn’t mean they’re not egocentric. The positive feelings they experience for the sacrifices they make for others are greater than the energy expended in the sacrifice, and greater than the feelings they experience for any objectives the sacrifice has consequences for. Which means they are serving their own interests and are egocentric. A person also perceives themself better, where compassion is good, compassion is shown through help, I help, therefore I am compassionate and good, and whether this is conscious or not, it contributes to feelings of self worth which is a very egocentric thing. Everything is egocentric. Buddhist Monks are egocentric, it’s just inverted, in the sense their rituals and criteria for overcoming the who, become the values that shape their ego. They’re proud to live in accordance with their standards and it causes them to feel good to maintain consistency with those standards. Just to say, that everything is egocentric.
Inherent biases which stem from the individual’s desire to maintain a positive perception of themself produces justifications for acts that do not fit their values. This is problematic for accurately classifying tendencies because non-valued acts are often forgotten through justification, even if the justification is flawed and adopted based on bias. In surveys of thoughts, feelings, and behavior many people are providing inaccurate data, even if their effort seems honest to them.
Empathy is often manufactured for inherent purposes and social purposes as well. For example, people will often think about a tragedy to make themselves feel sad, because they think it makes them good people for having felt bad for someone else, which produces a positive feeling. Many others will express grief to others in a display of empathy since the quality is popularly valued, and they perceive others as perceiving them as being better; and this raises self worth and produces a positive feeling. Celebrity deaths produce good examples of this. The point being, a person may answer honestly that they often experience empathy, but the empathy is often subconsciously contrived.
We can go into the practical value of remorse and why the presence or absence of remorse is irrelevant to determining how one will behave. Feelings of remorse are akin to feelings of empathy, where remorse is vehicle to feeling better about something you did that you believe is wrong. A person feels better about themselves for having felt bad for what they did. Similar to empathy, it’s also used for image promotion, where feeling remorse is popularly valued. Practically, outside of those purposes one can acknowledge the mistake and move forward trying to be better under similar circumstances in the future.
More importantly, a person with a strong moral understanding and focus, will subconsciously avoid making decisions that violate their morality. Which means moral people are less likely to report experiencing remorse because they typically don’t make decisions that violate their morality.
Morality is both a prohibitor of action and a motivator of action. In the latter, positive feelings associated with righting a wrong motivates that for which there is no known external interest. As a prohibitor, morality is a standard where consistency maintains well being, and inconsistency produced negative feelings through a loss of self worth. Many objectives that violate moral standards are never created because the subconscious doesn’t typically produce objectives that will reduce self worth and lead to negative feelings. When an immoral objective has sufficient value a negative feeling is experienced before and during the intent phase of a decision. This is a warning that the act will result in a loss of self worth, but also a comparison. The subconscious is creating objectives to produce the best possible feeling based on your perception of the circumstances. Being tempted so to speak, is to determine whether you’re better off violating morality and standards to accomplish the objective, or if you’re better to forgo the objective for the boost or maintenance of self worth.
If the individual proceeds with an immoral act they experience a loss of self worth which is sometimes expressed as remorse. The remorse is a mechanism to restore self worth. Morality is a determinant of motion in how assignments of good and bad influence the value of objectives. Whether someone feels bad for having committed what they believe is an immoral act is irrelevant to their behavior. What is relevant is how they assign morality, and how much they value and apply their moral standards.
The point being is the tendencies used to classify people, whether it be classifying someone as a psychopath, sociopath, narcissist, or something more benign is that there is different reasoning that can produce the same tendencies. You can have 10 people classified as psychopaths and each one is a very different person than the next.
Another reason I don’t like these classifications is because the labels can be applied to be dismissive of people. That person is a psychopath, or a narcissist, and once a person is called that, that label can be used to create an opinion about the person. Instead of having to itemize what a person did and why they did it that causes their behavior to be undesirable, or undesirable towards someone.
Now they have a classification and biological correlation to those tendencies. But those tendencies and that biological correlation may be the product of something else. More importantly, physiological variations in the brain are rarely ever innate. They’re the product of patterns of thoughts and feelings, and patterns of thoughts and feelings are a product of circumstances and how an individual perceives those circumstances. The study itself is suspect because it is an average of 10% larger than people who report low or no psychopathic traits. Which means if half the people with psychopathic traits have the same size striatum as those with low and those without psychopathic traits, and the other half have a striatum that is 20% larger, then we have an average of 10% larger. Probably not that pronounced but the number can lose it’s significance as an average both in a few points smaller for some in one group, and a few points larger in portions of another group.
What bothered me the most about the summary of the study is the effort to make a biological connection to criminality. Circumstances are the most consistent indicator of whether or not someone will engage in criminal activity. Psychology has done this before, and we should remember that eugenics was practiced in the United States before it was practiced in Nazi Germany.
It’s disgusting how a non-thinking public is persuaded by the psudoscience that is psychology. A roofer needs there to be something wrong with your roof in order to have a business. In the same respect, psychology has to convince you that something is wrong with you in order to sell prescription medication and therapy sessions. A lot of it is stupidity. Think of 5 traits and call it what you want and you will find people who you can classify as having that personality or that disorder.
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Had an off day today. I’m aware enough to notice a pattern when I’ve deviated from my typical mode of interaction. I’m not saying the repetition associated with the tasks I have been performing the last two days is solely responsible, but maybe it has played a role.
I don’t have much to write about. Obviously since I’ve had negative opinions about some people based on the performance of certain tasks dated 6/6, I should report on those opinions if they have changed. Based on observations the opinion doesn’t change based on the previous performance, but the last 4 days have been night and day compared to the days preceding. I don’t take credit for the improved performance. I don’t believe it is because I wrote what I wrote, I think it’s more a matter of installers wanting to avoid physical tasks unrelated to installing.
I don’t know. But I will say that everybody on the team has been pulling their weight and then some. I originally addressed the situation through the journal because I didn’t want to be in a situation where half the team was trying to avoid work, or work at a slower pace to let things fall onto others. That’s what it felt like initially, but come to find out everybody is willing and capable of getting shit done.
Just some examples, yesterday and the day before James was working his ass off. First in bringing the top rails up to the rooms. No one was keeping up with him. Second James and D kept up with me and Jay drilling holes. Today, James noticed that his task was the quickest, mine the second quickest, and Jay had the longest portion of the process. Instead of waiting for me he decided to prep Jay’s task. Because of his preparation and Jay’s focus on the task we moved about as fast as we could move as a unit and completed every room we could complete.
This entry is in part to update the experience since my initial experience working with them was critical. In addition to the work situation I have a few things worth commenting on.
6/12/2022
Had to undergo a period of adjustment from not working steady and not being around people to being around people. Wasteful spending, and wasted time, a temporary lapse in focus but in part an emotional upkeep expense. Emotional upkeep is a term used to describe a person’s expenses that are required to maintain themselves within a particular set of circumstances. It is a necessary expense, because without the emotional boost through the consumption of these products and services a person would be unable to perform the work.
In order to give us the opportunity to make more money and help his friend we were offered the opportunity to fire caulk the plumbing on a nearby construction project. I’d never done the work before but the description of it seemed like it wouldn’t be a very labor intensive project, and it seemed like it should be able to be completed reasonably fast. I was initially thinking maybe 2 hours. When I arrived Saturday morning it was already very hot shortly after 8am.
This stuff has to be applied using your hands or a stick. I suppose you could also use a joint knife or something similar but these were our implement options. I did a few pipes which took longer than expected. I realized it wasn’t going to be a 3 hour day as I anticipated. It was going to be all day to get it done right. Although I’m paid well and we were being paid hourly to complete the task, for that task under those conditions it wasn’t worth it to me. It was outside the scope of our normal work and I decided that I didn’t want to do it. So I left since it was more or less an optional job for those of us who wanted to make more money.
I have a few things to do and a few things I need to figure out how to do. I need to go through my books and provide more free excerpts on the website.
I was thinking each day I can do some sollicitations. I’ve been down this road before and haven’t experienced much of a return. What I really need to do is create a series of short videos. This is challenging because the explanation of even one concept can exceed a minute. I’m thinking about 1 minute videos and 5 minute videos. As far sollicitations I first need to figure out who to sollicit and for what purposes. Obviously all purposes lead to creating exposure to the information and the selling of products, but sollicitation have to be targeted and interest specific.
Fortunately I’ll have that opportunity since we’re going to be changing lodging accommodations where each of us will have a room in an air bnb instead of sharing hotel rooms. Not that sharing a hotel room completely obstructs these purposes, that’s not the reason I haven’t been accomplishing these things, it’s just been a loss of focus through an adjustment period, but having a private space does increase the ease with which theses things can be accomplished.
6/20/2022
I had another unproductive week. I recognize formation of unproductive habits immediately and I’m actively pursuing the return to better. Which isn’t to say some of it socially, and sexually isn’t beneficial, but too much drinking, relaxing, and entertainment. I was focused last week Monday and this focus was derailed by going to Top Golf with my co-workers. It is more difficult to maintain productive habits while working.
I did buy an SD card for the video camera yesterday but I haven’t begun putting any video outlines together. I have been considering some introductory approaches. Today I finished excerpting from my books to provide some samples. Sample chapters and headings are available at https://orioncs.net/samples-from-lt-books/
Work has been somewhat stressful. We have things that we need to finish ASAP, but the operative word in the acronym is possible. I did something to my back today that made it very difficult to move and bend down. Definitely slowed me down and had a very strong impact on my mood. My mood was fucked up from the beginning today.
I went to the 7/11 where I usually get ice and they told me they didn’t have ice and wouldn’t have ice until they received a delivery in 3 days. I doubted whether it was true, just based on my natural skepticism but I didn’t check the ice box outside to see. I went to a QT down the street, purchased ice and the cashier promptly served me while she was serving another customer on a different register. I had 7 dollars and 30 cents in change coming. I looked at my change as I was walking away and I saw a dime and a bunch of pennies. It is possible that she gave me 2 dimes and 10 pennies but I was upset in thinking she gave me the wrong change, not based on the loss of maybe 10 to 15 cents, but just it was wrong and it wasn’t worth addressing. A few weeks ago I was at Braums and my total was 8.42. I counted out .42 and gave the cashier a $20 and .42. I should have received $12 in change. Instead I received like 11.80 something, but the change was on top of the receipt and underneath the $11. I didn’t notice it until I pulled forward and by that time I’m not going to reverse in the drive through over .14, but it pissed me off.
At work I had an issue with some of the material we were working with, add my back to it, and it was just a rough day that had a very negative impact on my mood. Mood being the influence of perception on feelings, the influence of feelings on thoughts, and the influence of thoughts on feelings, and both on perception. Today a man asked if I could help him out with a dollar at Walmart and usually I’m very willing, it feels good to help somebody through a very small sacrifice, but instead I told him I ain’t going to be able to do it.
I don’t have shit going on but work right now. Really just posted to create a link for the sample chapters of the books.
6/26/2022
Roughly three weeks into this and having completed one project I am already worn down. I lost my debit card which contributed to general stress. I haven’t had the time or the energy to work out. I haven’t really had the energy or a state of mind conducive to producing any videos or content although I did manage to put together a few video outlines. The work in general dulls my intellect and promotes unproductive tendencies.
We finished by about 2pm today, but didn’t get back to the hotel until about 4 after having stopped at Walmart. I did next to nothing. Ate, napped, watched videos, and was unable to muster the energy or motivation to do anything productive. My body is sore and I needed a mind numbing day to recuperate from the mind numbing weeks preceding.
Roe v. Wade was overturned which will be the new distracting controversy. Roe v. Wade has been something of a stretch for a very long time. Abortion itself should hinge on the fact that a citizen has rights, and in order to become a citizen a fetus must be born and therefore a fetus has no rights except through a potential mothers intent to deliver the fetus to term. Even then, the court has ruled that the public interest in maintaining population growth can supersede the rights or interests of the woman. This is another recurring distraction, which isn’t to say that it isn’t an issue of importance but it is an easy way to create controversy and occupy the minds of the ignorant on both sides of the issue. As long as attention isn’t focused on inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money it is an issue that will receive attention in this country.
As the court has been deliberating on their decision I have written about the subject on several occasions. Instead of restating the same thing yet again, see the post from 5/6
6/28/2022
Yesterday I made a few copies of an introductory video. I won’t use any of them but they’re not too bad. Pauses, the cadence of my voice, having to excuse a poor choice of words, and just otherwise a delivery that may not hold attention or be optimum for comprehension. It was intended to be short and lay out some basic principles, but I may add and/or subtract from the content.
7/3/2022
About a month ago I saw a video in my youtube feed titled something like Lake Mead water level update. I watched the video that began with the creator showing markers of where the water level was in previous years and proceeded with him and his partner launching their boat to show other indicators of how the water level had fallen over the last two weeks. One landmark was a boat that sank embedded in the lake in a vertical position. They showed a clip of the boat from two weeks ago where the bow of the boat was sticking out of the water a few feet contrasted to its present point where the boat was now about half way out of the water, which indicated about a 4 foot drop. (1) Two weeks ago I saw another video from the same creator and when they revisited this boat it was now on land about 10 yards from the water. Last night I saw the latest update and despite the creators of the series saying they had rain the boat was 10 to 20 yards further away from the water.
1: This is from memory and it may have been more than a 4 foot drop in two weeks.
After the first video I did some research on the significance of this drop, initially skeptical that it was anything that was very significant. In the summer months the water levels are bound to drop and then rebound in the cooler seasons. I discovered that even for this time of year the lake was at historic lows and per agreements Arizona, Nevada, California, and Mexico will have to reduce their usual allotment of water from the Colorado River system. This doesn’t mean shortages but it does mean alternate sources and money spent on campaigns to encourage citizens to use water responsibly. Money spent on public service messages to use less water is money poorly spent, since those who are water conscious will remain conscious and those who are not will not be persuaded by the message. Increasing the cost of water will be effective in reducing consumption, although most renters do not pay for water and sewage and therefore will not be persuaded by increased cost.
If this were an isolated drought and not part of a larger trend it wouldn’t be very concerning. Roughly 1200 years ago there was a hot and dry period as a product of natural climate variance that exceeded any droughts prior to the end of the 20th and early 21st century.(2) The droughts caused by increased average temperature and aridity in the last 3 decades are more severe than the droughts that occurred 1200 years ago. The temperature increase and the resulting droughts is a byproduct of climate change.
2: 12/7/2010, Connie A. Woodhouse, David M. Meko, Glen M. MacDonald, Dave W. Stahle and Edward R. Cook “A 1200 Perspective of 21st Century Drought in SouthWestern North America”, University of Arizona Tempe. https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.0911197107 The fact that this is an old study doesn’t diminish the conclusions of the summary. In fact these conclusions are bolstered by the droughts that succeeded the study, where the greatest drought in the last 20 years occurred in 2012 two years after the study. The purpose of the citation is to contrast what we’re observing with the historical record to establish the significance. – 5/18/2022 National Centers for Environmental Information, “Characterizing Drought Over the Past Two Decades Using the US Drought Monitor”. https://www.ncei.noaa.gov/news/twenty-years-drought-examined
The droughts in the southwestern United States are not isolated. A new study undertaken by ecologist Gang Zhao of Texas A&M has discovered that fresh water globally is evaporating at a rate that greatly exceeds what was previously thought. Previously only evaporation rates were considered as opposed to other local factors that show a more accurate picture of water loss including freeze and thaw cycles. (3) What is being experienced in the south west of the United States and the United States generally isn’t isolated, it represents a broader global trend that will not reverse and will have severe consequences for the inhabitants of this planet.
3: 6/30/2022, Tessa Koumoundouros, “A Disturbing Process has been Accelerating in Freshwater Lakes Worldwide, Study Finds”. Science Alert. https://www.sciencealert.com/fresh-water-in-lakes-around-the-world-is-evaporating-at-an-accelerated-rate
In the book Liberty: The Definitive Moral Truth, I mention that climate change is an evolutionary check on tyranny for intelligent life throughout the universe. The reason being is intelligent life requires billions of years to evolve from simple life, and the decomposition and storage of previous life will guarantee the existence of fossil fuels. Any intelligent life that comes into being will discover uses for these fossil fuels, which will increase the concentration of CO2 and change the climate. Any intelligent species will eventually realize the impact. Whether a species is able to transition to renewable energy or not largely depends on the morality of the species, whether it is rooted in liberty, or tyranny. This is a somewhat complex explanation that I will go into momentarily, but first I want to talk about our present capacity to make this transition if the will existed, and then why the will does not exist.
For roughly two trillion dollars we could build all the infrastructure, including generation (solar panels, windmills, etc), storage, and update the grid to support renewable energy distribution. There is enough geothermal energy that could be accessed through Yellowstone to supply energy to the entire country, of course this isn’t seriously considered by anyone due to the preference for leaving nature undisturbed as opposed to potentially averting an existential threat to this species. Climate change is an existential threat not only in a 4 or 5 degree world that may only be 2 centuries away making the planet uninhabitable, but due to 2.5 to 3 degree world less than a century away dramatically changing which areas of the earth are habitable.(4) When areas that were previously habitable become uninhabitable on a massive scale, conflicts over habitable areas will likely culminate in the use of nuclear weapons, since losing a conventional war over an area has an existential consequence for the loser. If nation A has invaded nation B because nation A’s land cannot sustain the population, nation A will use nuclear weapons if they have them because they have nowhere to lose to.
4: Orion Simerl, 9/10/2021 “Understanding Political Function Through Recent Political History, 2019-2020”. The chapter Climate Change 101 explains the trajectory of global emissions, the corresponding temperature change associated with the increase of emissions, and the consequences of those temperature increases. https://orioncs.net/product/understanding-political-functions-through-recent-political-history-2019-20/
Outside of Yellowstone, the impediment to geothermal energy has been drilling technology because we don’t have the ability to drill deep enough to access the hotter regions of the earth’s crust. This technological impediment has or is on the verge of being overcome with a new laser drilling technique. Even without geothermal energy, we have the technology and the resources to transition to renewable energy. Why don’t we do it?
You’ll often hear scientists talk about the political will to address climate change. The greatest misconception in this country is that political will is determined by the popular will. Political will is synonymous with industrial will, where political will is pulled by different industries when there is a dispute about which industry’s interests should be prioritized. We cannot have a rapid transition to renewable energy because it doesn’t serve the interests of industry. This isn’t only the interests of fossil fuel producers but also the interests of those involved in renewable energy creation.
The first step in reducing emissions begins with transitioning the grid. As I previously mentioned we could completely transition to renewable energy for about 2 trillion dollars. Since the public is paying for the infrastructure the public should own the infrastructure. Senator Sanders, who I must disclaim I loathe generally, proposed the idea of putting the infrastructure under the authority of the Power Marketing Administrations who presently manage the sale of power from federally owned infrastructure that already exists, primarily dams. I would allow the utility companies that already exist to manage the maintenance and distribution of power, where the public would sell the power generated from the infrastructure to the utility companies who would in turn sell it to the public. In doing so the public could attach a percentage of profit to the sale that could be used to create more renewable infrastructure to keep up with increased demand, and to subsidize the cost of power to low income people to avoid using tax dollars to subsidize the cost of power to low income people. But we cannot have this because the industrial will does not exist.
What we’ve seen in efforts to transition to renewable energy is subsidies, grants, tax credits, no interest loans to private companies who use public funds to create infrastructure that then belongs to private companies. In Obama’s time in office he spent about 300 billion dollars on subsidizing the construction of renewable infrastructure. If this same 300 billion was spent on building the infrastructure outright, managed by the PMAs, sold at a profit to the utilities, these profits in the last 10 years could have went to creating more infrastructure instead of supporting private profits. Other efforts on the state level have been cap and trade which benefits certain sectors of industry and has had negative consequences in rates that consumers pay for power, and meeting demand for power. Biden proposed a national cap and trade policy that I don’t think ever made it to the floor. Secondly, regulations to mandate efficiency are non-factors in consideration of climate change. Marginally reducing emissions through efficiency mandates will not reduce emissions significantly enough to avert increases in temperature that will lead to catastrophic consequences in the relatively near future (80 to 100 years).
We can say that tyranny is a mode of operation when the popular will or popular interests are not represented in political and economic decision making. This is a factor, but more so on the side of popular interests as opposed to popular will. Years ago, I discovered that much of the anger towards industry was somewhat misplaced. The reason being is because tyranny on an individual level has reduced the general population into meat puppets. Until climate change has direct consequences for the general population they have very little concern for the existential threat a warmer world poses. It isn’t only the national and state decision makers and the systems in place that are the problem, the greatest problem is individuals. It’s difficult to express this truth and know the only way to accomplish anything is through these meat puppets.
What do I mean by meat puppets and individual tyranny? Often overlooked in the statement that all human problems are a product of self deception and inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money, is self deception. Self deception is a product of a tyrannical mode of operation, where the value of truth as it applies to liberty is subordinated to the value of feelings. All value assignments are a product of the feelings they produce. When a person is born they’re exposed to experiences and information that produces positive feelings. Their attention and objectives in life build on this information and these experiences. Most of what they’re exposed to is bullshit. They develop a foundation and perspective that is built on bullshit that they seek to preserve because it must remain intact for what they’ve done and what they’re doing to produce positive feelings.
Subconsciously, negative feelings are imposed when a person is confronted by information that challenges their beliefs. The subconscious is always directing the mind to objectives that produce a positive feeling, and changing a person’s perspective by changing an assignment of true to false will take away the ability of things a person does to make them feel good to make them feel good. Secondly, or in some cases primarily the object being protected is self worth as self consists of what a person believes to be true and what they like. This subconscious process of self deception is more easily observable through morality, where a person experiences a similar negative feeling when they develop intentions to do something they consider to be wrong. The negative feeling is intent on preventing a loss of self worth, where after a person commits an act that they feel is morally wrong they will experience a loss of self worth usually thought of as guilt. Self-worth is restored either through justification for the act, time, atonement, or even through feeling bad where a person feels good for having felt bad about having done something bad. This is intended as an example of how the feeling experienced through exposure to challenging information, as a threat to value, is also experienced when an act has moral implications which is a threat to value, in the threat to an individual’s self worth. An experience that may be easier for people to remember.
More important than the pursuit of reinforcing information and the avoidance and rejection of challenging information is where attention is directed cyclically. Most people’s perspectives is built on BS, existentially, and then funneled through impressions. Existentially through religion, and impressions generally set people on paths of love, marriage, family, career, and simple stimulation, drugs, alcohol, various recreational activities, movies, tv shows etc. They exist in a general indifference things outside of personal objectives and simple stimulation. They’re meat puppets dangling from strings of information from the general BS they began in, and directed by nonsense built on that information that provides positive feelings. The political active are the same but led by much tighter strings as they’re actively pursuing information that reinforces their beliefs.
People are these jumbles of experiences who are governed by feelings that they do not understand. Motivated in life by the pursuit of simple stimulation. Based on how human beings are organized, in this country and abroad, it is unlikely anything will change. I don’t see climate news through a lens of we must save the species, instead I see it as the culmination of choices made by a tyrannical species and a just end to limit the perpetuation of tyranny.
As I’ve stated on previous occasions the development of objectivity can be achieved through a moral understanding, in recognizing the value of truth to liberty. For the individual in that a person does what they like and most of what they like is based on what they believe is true. Believing things that are untrue are true causes people to like what they wouldn’t like and do what they wouldn’t do. Meat puppets. Also can have consequences to know-how. More importantly, believing things that are untrue are true prevents communication that has consequences for the liberty of others. Self deception produces imposition on others, and this is the reason human beings have the problems that they have.
Over the last few years I haven’t been as productive intellectually as I have been previously. This has been in part based on struggling to meet my natural needs at times, but more so as a product of my efforts not yielding any results for reasons I’m aware of, some of which I’ve mentioned in this post. Another reason is that issues are cyclical. Most issues are either issues because they’ve been made important due to the promotion of them, the tabloid politics, these people said or did this that has no real consequence to the problems people in this country face, or I’m restating something based on previous research that still applies to the problem when the public’s attention is refocused on it.
As I mentioned in the previous post I am moving to creating video lectures of the content. The most difficult video is the introduction. I recorded one in San Antonio that wasn’t very good. Yesterday I considered drinking with the people I worked with but I was already feeling shitty for drinking the night before. Not only physically, but emotionally, or I experience negative feelings from wasting too much time on non-productive things. I decided to record an introductory video. I made a quick outline and recorded a two minute introduction. I liked the content but the Air B&B we’re staying at has a very plain and basic kitchen. After watching I decided the background would not be an asset to the production and I will rerecord the video when time permits. Following that I can begin lecture recordings which should be more fulfilling even if the endeavor isn’t more effective. Whether written or spoken the content is still beyond the ability of most people to comprehend because they lack the interest and attention to understand it.
Thomas Ferguson has published a paper on the 2020 election. Past papers on presidential elections typically show what industries provided how much to who and how the infusion of money into campaigns has turned the tide of elections. I only read a little bit of it and will read the rest of it later but this paper is different in that it isn’t about how money influenced the outcome of the election but other factors such as covid and BLM protests. However it does state that it focuses on the influence of money in congressional elections. I suppose the difference of money between Trump and Biden is probably less consequential to the results and more a product of how the meat puppets were directed against one candidate by the media and the promotion of issues that are not really issues. I look forward to reading that.
7/5/2022
The other night I arrived at work and Mark mentioned he heard about how the crime rate in Uvalde, TX was skyrocketing and most of the crime was supposedly perpetrated by illegal immigrants. I’m skeptical when I hear these things understanding that illegal immigration is well controlled by CBP and ICE, and illegal immigrants are less likely to commit other crimes than the general population.(1) Well controlled in that as long as the population of illegal immigrants from the southern border remains below 12 million this is a population that doesn’t interfere with the opportunities of Americans. Under Obama we were approaching the 12 million mark and the dedication of additional resources to CBP and ICE led to a decline in the illegal immigrant population, as the number of deportations exceeded the number of people entering illegally.(2)
1: Fox News “Sanctuary Cities are a Criminal Magnet” https://youtu.be/CLJkEdtFAdE The broadcast states that illegal immigrants in the NYC Metro area are responsible for 18,000 crimes. Without context this reinforces the manufactured prejudice that illegal immigrants are criminals (beyond the criminality of entering illegally). There are an estimated 1.2 million illegal immigrants in the NYC metro area. Which means at most 1 in 66 illegal immigrants have committed a crime. 70 million Americans have been convicted of a crime which represents about 1 in 3 adults in this country. Illegal immigrants are much less likely to commit crimes than American citizens. – 1.2 million Illegals https://patch.com/new-york/new-york-city/new-york-metro-area-home-1-2-million-undocumented-immigrants-report – 70 million Americans criminal convictions: https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/analysis-opinion/just-facts-many-americans-have-criminal-records-college-diplomas
2: Robert Warren, “The US Undoccumented Population Fell Sharply During the Obama Era: Estimates for 2016”. Center for Migration Studies https://cmsny.org/publications/warren-undocumented-2016/
Over the last few years we have seen an increase in the estimated number of illegal immigrants but we are still below 12 million. Illegal immigration has long been a rallying point for the right, the explanation for why poor conservatives are not doing better, and an activator of the far more prevalent well to do conservative who must defend his way of life from a foreign invasion. Once people are receptive to that narrative they’re consuming information that reinforces that idea and the media is looking for stories to attract that attention. Another purpose for promoting illegal immigration as a problem is because of the interests it serves. Most notably in the ambition to build a wall across the southern border. A wall which will be ineffective at deterring or preventing illegal immigrants but will be effective in providing public funds to the contractors who will build the wall.
The claims Mark heard have been circulating for over a year. Last year the Mayor of Uvalde endorsed Don Huffines, on the Tucker Carlson show for governor. (3) Mayor McLaughlin made substanceless statements about seeing the border crisis 1st hand, and how it will destroy the country without providing any explanation or evidence. McLaughlin supports Huffines who supports finishing a border wall in Texas using state funds. Huffines owns a company called Huffine Communities that builds high end apartments. (4) Huffine, even if his company wouldn’t be directly involved with the building of the wall, is affiliated with those in commercial construction. You have a person who owns a construction company and is affiliated with others in construction, running for governor on a platform of building a wall.
3: Hayden Sparks, “South Texas Mayor Endorses Huffines for Governor, Says “Border Crisis is Far Worse Than People Realize”. The Texan https://thetexan.news/south-texas-mayor-endorses-huffines-for-governor-says-border-crisis-far-worse-than-many-people-realize/
4: https://huffinescommunities.com/who-we-are/
The first thing I wanted to know after hearing about crime in Uvalde was if the rate was actually high. Uvalde does have a high crime rate. Second, I wanted to know what kind of crime there were. Unsurprisingly, most of the crime is property crime. From September 2020, to September 2021 there were 0 murders. Texas as a whole has a higher violent crime rate than Uvalde does. (5) Since the greatest predictor of crime is income my next search was for the median income in Uvalde and as expected Uvalde has a very low median income, $18,000 per year. (6)
5: https://www.neighborhoodscout.com/tx/uvalde/crime
Instead of this mayor addressing income opportunities which are at the heart of why Uvalde has a higher crime rate he makes substanceless assertions about illegal immigrants and endorses a gubernatorial candidate who wants to spend public funds to build a wall. The candidate who wants to build a wall owns a commercial construction company and has ties to the construction industry who are the only ones who will benefit from the wall. Fox News pushes the narrative that illegal immigrants are a major problem in the US because it attracts the attention of those who are invested in this narrative, and they’re looking for viewers to sell ad revenue. The more people who believe illegal immigration is a major problem the more who will show up to the polls to vote for a candidate who is going to build a wall or take some other ignorant position on the subject.
Maybe if I was near the border or in a border town my opinion would be different? Well, I’m presently in Del Rio and I’ve been here for almost a week now. I’ve also driven through Uvalde. Although this is a short period of time and I haven’t interacted extensively with the area, if illegal immigrants were destroying American cities and threatening the American way of life I should have seen some evidence of it; since the problem near the border is so widespread. I’ve seen nothing. Not a crime perpetrated by someone who could have been an illegal immigrant, not a group of people who may have been illegal immigrants, and otherwise, not a single person in this area being prevented from doing what they would otherwise be doing because of illegal immigrants. I’m sure CBP is probably detaining people attempting to cross the border illegally on a daily basis, but I haven’t personally witnessed those efforts or witnessed how illegal immigrants are destroying Del Rio, Texas, or the United States.(7)
7: Mayor Mc Laughlin is quoted in the Texan Article: “…the crisis on the border is far worse than many people realize, and it’s going to destroy my town, our state, and this country if we don’t do something about it now.”
If the Mayor was concerned with the people of Uvalde, he wouldn’t be pushing this BS narrative, he would be thinking of ways he could increase the income opportunities for the bottom 50% of income earners in Uvalde who are living off less than $18,000 per year. Whether that consists of making appeals to the state or federal government for funds to create a public works program, or to fund the ambition of poor citizens to create businesses, or some other idea to increase income opportunities.
The ideas I promote to increase income opportunities I’ve created thinking about urban areas. It’s interesting to consider just how transformative some of these ideas will be if implemented for these small towns. Consider the balance stimulus that will provide a lump sum for the bottom 50% of income earners. You have a town like Uvalde and many like it where their median income is about half the national median income. Half the people in that city would receive 30,000 or 20,000 to improve their income opportunities. Investing in development from the bottom up. If the balance stimulus were successful how much development would take place in these poor small towns that exist not only in Texas but across the country? If these small towns were in a partnership with others in directing a Center for Economic Planning this would be transformative in the creation of higher quality opportunity and development of these places. Even RoundUp Gratuity would increase the income of workers in high volume transaction industries that exist in every place across the country, and all the associated benefits. (8)
8: Full details for Balance Stimulus, Round Up Gratuity Option, and Centers for Economic Planning are available in the book American Prosperity Proposals. https://orioncs.net/product/the-american-prosperity-proposals/
All human problems are a product of self deception and inadequate opportunities for time and money. If people didn’t want to maintain their perspective that illegal immigration was a serious problem, they wouldn’t be able to be deceived about it because they would recognize the contradictions. If they didn’t want to be deceived about it they wouldn’t watch stories about it and the media wouldn’t continue to air stories about it. Others would stop using it as a point to promote their interests, to get elected to office or to build walls. Without the pretext if crime is a problem in an area we know that crime is a product of poverty, and a lack of opportunity. Then people become focused on how to eliminate the cause (inadequate opportunity) to eliminate the effect (crime).
7/20/2022
I’ve long been a critic of psychology as being a faith based science where causation is misassigned more often than not, and people believe they’ve been accurately categorized. George Carlin once said when fascism comes to the United States it won’t be with German jack boots, it will be smiling face tee shirts. The field of psychology has spearheaded the push in that direction. Psychology aims to eliminate negative feelings that compromise a person’s well being and prioritizes positive feelings over an accurate perception. Not often, but from time to time I’ll have an article in my news feed that I’ll review. The most recent article to catch my attention was published in Forbes titled “New Psychological Research Calls Out Potentially Harmful Parenting Technique”.
The research begins with what they refer to as primal world beliefs framed in 3 ideas:
The world is safe versus the world is dangerous.
The world is enticing versus the world is dull.
The world is alive versus the world is mechanicalistic.
To paraphrase Jeremy Clifton’s summary conclusion, his research shows that people who believe the world is dangerous, dull, and mechanicalistic typically don’t do as well in life as those who believe the opposite, so a parent teaching their children these things is a potentially harmful parenting technique.
Before addressing the statements generally for accuracy, we have to consider the circumstances that cause a parent to reach conclusions about the world and how those circumstances influence a person’s chances at success in life, and overall well being. People born into economically disadvantaged circumstances are typically living in neighborhoods that are less safe than those who are born into better circumstances. Crime and violence occur in greater frequency in areas where people have less money and consequently fewer opportunities. Those who are born into households with income disadvantages will find the world more dull and less enticing because they’re without the means to access what the world has to offer. The world is mechanicalistic in the sense that all the results we see including human behavior are a product of causes producing those effects. Circumstances are concretely limiting, and many poor people, including the working poor, who have neither the time nor the money to create their own opportunities will recognize there are economic, political, and social mechanisms that prevent them from improving those circumstances.
It’s more likely, that people who see the world as dangerous, dull, and mechanicalistic, are people who begin in environments that are dangerous, dull due to a lack of opportunity for productive development and income, and mechanicalistic, have poorer outcomes in life because they’re circumstantially predisposed to these outcomes. The beliefs arise from experience and the poorer outcomes are a product of circumstances in most cases.
Secondly, objectively is the world dangerous, dull, and mechanicalistic, or is it safe, enticing, and alive. As a whole we could qualify the world as dangerous, based on crime, violence, the human propensity to take advantage of others and to self deceive to justify the imposition. Levels of danger vary based on location, circumstances, and lifestyle, but if a person’s perception of the world is that people are good and that they are safe this is an inaccurate perception of the world, even if they live in a good neighborhood, have a sufficient income, and a relatively safe lifestyle.
As far as the world being dull this is subjective but as I mentioned previously is largely based on circumstances. For people that have opportunities for time and money the world can be enticing because they have access to more things to try and do.
The world is mechanicalistic. Reality consists of objects in motion measured by space and time and the feelings motion produces in conscious beings. Even the motion of conscious beings is mechanical where objectives are created based on an individual’s understanding of cause and effect, and the anticipated feelings an objective produces, weighted by morality and standards. These things can be mapped and understood through Assignment, Sequencing, and Comparison down to the production of thoughts influenced by feelings and perception and the relationship between these mood producing mechanisms. None of which is challenged by psychology or neuroscience.
Personally, I recognize that the world is a dangerous place having participated in dangerous lifestyles during certain periods of time in my life, but despite acknowledgement of this reality, it doesn’t influence my behavior except situationally when something raises my suspicions. Otherwise danger doesn’t persuade my behavior because should danger arise I’m confident in my ability to perform well based on my experience.
Personally, the world is dull to me, even when I have time and money, although some of this is a product of trying to conserve the time and money that I have when I have it, knowing what it has taken me to get it. A lot of this has nothing to do with a belief that the world is dull, it’s more a product of not finding entertainment stimulating and the skewed perception of people in this world that limits worthwhile social opportunities. There’s no outlet for the things I want to do.
The point is, in my personal life, the aforementioned beliefs have nothing to do with my outcomes or well being, and many peoples primal beliefs are a product of circumstances and experience that predispose them to negative outcomes and depression. They have the carriage in front of the horse with this study as many studies do. People don’t find themselves in negative circumstances in a poor emotional state because they believe the world is dangerous, dull, and mechanicalistic, they begin in disadvantaged circumstances, that may include a dangerous world based on experience, a dull world based on a lack of opportunity, and understand that the world is mechanicalistic, and these circumstances produce their outcomes and state of being.
With a therapist I could account for these things and we move from a place where it isn’t my primal beliefs, then we move onto different diagnosis, PTSD, personality disorders, depression, and all the different places I check boxes until I believe the problem is in whatever categorization they propose. Once I believe it, then we move into different tactics of treatment which will change my perception to allow me to experience more positive sensations in life. Belief in the problem, followed by belief in the solution, and the solution changing one’s perception to allow the individual to be more susceptible to the stimulation provided by what the world has to offer. “It’s all bullshit, and it’s bad for you”.
7/25/2022
I’m reading Thomas Ferguson’s paper on the 2020 election which is different than his previous election papers. In his previous papers he summarized the conclusions of other political scientists on the election, as well as popular narratives, and presented evidence for or against the proposition. But the crux of the papers were dedicated to which industries invested how much in each candidate, and how it influenced the outcome of the elections, sometimes pointing to how improvements in polls corresponded to infusions of money into their campaigns.
I read Ferguson’s papers because he understands that politics functions through political investment, and any political science paper that is written absent that understanding is making conclusions about politics that are based on a false perception of the political process . Perceptions that politicians are more than industrial pitchmen, that politicians are responsive to the problems of the people, and those whose ideas are most receptive to the people and can promote their message are elected. It’s the reinforcement of the fallacy of a republic for the people, or democracy. They’re like an appraiser who doesn’t enter the house, but assigns value based on the exterior and believes they can provide insight about an inside they don’t see.
I like Ferguson’s writing and interviews because all the information he’s reviewing, he does with an understanding that sees the full picture. Secondly, although I usually don’t take the time to review his methodology (His work is typically peer reviewed, if he was lying about his methodology someone would catch it), I do understand how he makes good faith efforts at foreseeing how other factors could influence his results and accounts for them. This is something that should be common in academia, but the desire to promote personal biases, to think critically, or to promote a narrative that is advantageous for their careers is more important than being true to their profession. And being true to the people for that matter, which is a responsibility. Deception is imposition and those who are called experts by the public impose on the masses since their credentials cause people to be receptive to their deception.
I haven’t finished reading it but there are a few things that stand out to me. The first is how Ferguson believes that Covid19 was a legitimate threat to the population and more should have been done to mitigate the spread. He writes about death tolls rising while Trump was consulting with leaders from certain industries and doing everything he could not to take mitigative action. Also writes about Trump undermining medical experts.
Like others who talk about the death toll, they don’t talk about who died.
Excerpted from Covid 19 Media Project Introduction
(Citations are available on the Covid-19 Media Project product page)
Excerpt END
I remember I was working a job through the veryable app, and a woman talking to one of her coworkers repeated another common misconception: what if you don’t know you have an underlying condition? The issue with that statement is that an underlying medical condition does not guarantee a severe outcome or death. Only those with very advanced medical conditions have any serious risk of dying if infected with covid. If you don’t know you have a medical condition, in most cases, the absence of symptoms strongly suggests that your medical condition is not advanced enough to predispose you to any serious risk of death.
As I’ve stated previously, the best conclusion concerning the data and the risk of death that I read was spoken by Uros Seljak, who stated a person’s chances of dying if infected are about the same as their chances of dying of natural causes in the next year. The data shows that covid 19 kills only the weakest segments of the population. And that is what the data shows us. People with severely advanced underlying medical conditions (mainly heart disease,COPD, and Diabeetus), and those who are very advanced in age.
Excerpt Covid 19 Media Project Additional Material (citations included in the book)
(Proportion of the population with underlying medical conditions)
As mentioned previously, there are articles that inflate the proportion of the population who has underlying medical conditions to exaggerate the danger. To inflate the amount of people who have cardiovascular disease, the American Heart Association considers anyone with blood pressure above 130/80 as having a cardiovascular disease and this creates the statistic that 48% of Americans have a cardiovascular disease. When high blood pressure is excluded, 9% of Americans have an actual cardiovascular disease. 9.4 % of the population has diabetes, and the most common respiratory diseases (other than asthma which doesn’t increase risk) is 5%.
The presumption is that 23.4% of the population has a serious underlying medical condition that predisposes them to complications, and slightly more with less prevalent conditions like cancers or organ issues.
(A better estimation of the proportion of people with underlying medical conditions)
The mistake even in the 23.4% conclusion is people are being counted twice. 43% of people who have diabetes also have cardiovascular disease. We don’t have 9% of the population who has heart disease and 9.4% of the population who has diabetes, because 43% is a comorbidity. This means we have 9.4% of the population who have diabetes and CVD, and we have 5.1% of the population who have CVD. Diabetes and CVD represents 14.5% of the population. We also don’t have an additional 5% of the population who has COPD because 20% of people with COPD also have diabetes. Roughly 18.5% of the population has major medical conditions that increase their risk of death, with other conditions like kidney and liver disease also being prevalent among people with diabetes. Many other diseases that create complications like HIV represent a very small proportion of the population (.3%) and people with risk factors in the United States probably represent about 20% of the population. Whatever portion of the population actually has a medical condition that increases their risk for severe symptoms or mortality is much less relevant than degree, whereas if you have a medical condition and you’ve had the flu and recovered, you’re probably healthy enough to recover from Covid-19. Most who have a preexisting condition have an elevated risk for mortality associated with Covid-19, not a high probability of death. Of people who have risk factors who are infected, only 13.5% will be admitted to ICU and the mortality rate is 6.5%.
Excerpt End
Serious underlying medical conditions represent at most 20% of the population. The mortality rate for hospitalized people with underlying medical conditions is 6.5%. This isn’t the actual mortality rate of people with serious underlying medical conditions because it doesn’t represent people who are not hospitalized with underlying medical conditions, which would decrease the mortality rate. People with underlying medical conditions are hospitalized at a rate of about 50% if I am remembering correctly. This represents .65 percent of the total population, with the remaining 6% of covid deaths of people without underlying medical conditions is largely represented by those over 85.
It isn’t about saving lives when you’re talking about people who are at risk of dying within a year, some with a few years left to live. A virus that can only kill the weakest segments of the population, those who already have one foot out the door cannot be considered a threat to public safety to take away the rights of people. It does not qualify. The public is a word that applies to certain proportions of all the people, either all or a large number. For example, during an invasion or a natural disaster, even though all the people may not be in danger, the danger applies to everyone, where everyone faces an equal risk of death. Covid was a virus that 99% of the population would survive if infected, and the 1% that was at risk are the same people who are susceptible to dying from any common infection, and will likely die within a year’s time.
The media sold it as a war. Anderson Cooper said “everyone is on the front lines”. There’s a big difference between a soldier with a gun and a virus that will produce flu similar symptoms that you will recover from.
My problem with the response is the virus kills the same people as who would die if infected with the flu, and yes, every year healthy people with no underlying medical conditions die from the seasonal flu. Covid is less harmful to children than the flu. Covid produced more casualties because it was easier to spread, and we did not have a vaccine. If the flu is not a threat to public safety, and you weren’t in favor of the same restrictions, or you didn’t take the same precautions to protect people during flu season, you have no basis for trying to impose them for covid. It never qualified as a threat to public safety because it created a risk of death to too few people to be considered as such. The covid-19 media project shows you could have known this then, and so many people still don’t know.
I have an issue with Ferguson taking that tired, randomly deadly implying approach and that more should have been done to extend the lives of people who have 1 to 3 years left to live at a detriment to the entire population.
He also talked about wildcat strike being a significant indicator of voter tendencies. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like it is supported by the data. The places where the most protests occurred, occurred in states like California, and Washington. States that had significant protests that traditionally went republican still went republican, like Tenneseee and Texas, while states that didn’t have large protests that traditionally vote democrat voted democrat, and states like Arizona that typically vote republican in presidential elections but voted for Biden, did not have large wildcat protests. Maybe I’m misremembering, but I believe he wrote the significance of these protests is understated. Or he implied the significance was understated because he wrote that it wasn’t really covered in election analysis. If it wasn’t accounted for and he thought it should be it implies the significance the worker strikes had on the election is understated.
Even the spikes themselves in the worker protests occurred during months prior to the election that would have been mostly forgotten by the time people started voting, there was a large spike in June where there were 250 plus events, and then a smaller but significant strike in the beginning of September with about 60 events. Then there were no days after that with more than a handful of events on any given day. This angle seems more to show support for traditional worker organizing than it is something that had a very strong impact on the election. Anyone who participated in an unauthorized strike was probably not someone who would have voted for Trump to begin with.
It pretends that American workers were discontent with inequality and worker conditions, when the protests about conditions were primarily covid related, and stemming from a false randomly deadly narrative.
So far, there are other mainstream left undertones in this paper, where racial identification of groups is mentioned that implies that a person’s race made them more susceptible to the outcome, when there are underlying factors that distributed race in order to create the appearance. For example, mentioning that many people who worked in meat packing were infected with the virus were black and hispanic, does not mean they were infected with covid because they were black and hispanic, it means that there were a lot of black and hispanic people who worked in meat packing, and working in meat packing during that time caused people to be susceptible to infection.
I may walk back some of this criticism as I finish reading the paper and some of it I read while I was tired from working. There is a certain level of pride and satisfaction that comes from being wrong. At least for me. I thought about this after I was wrong at work. I was working with Mark’s son Connor. We’re finishing up the first phase of installing shower doors, which was finishing up a few rooms that needed to be installed because they weren’t ready when we were there the first time, or the materials didn’t arrive on time, and we were making final adjustments on doors we’ve already installed. He was trying to go down the stairs to get something and texted that both the stairwells were blocked off and they wouldn’t let him go down.
Previously, and I may have been wrong on those occasions too, I thought they blocked off stairwells when they didn’t need to be blocked off, when they were painting the wall. I also thought that they were doing that to him because he’s young. So I was pissed off about that. I walked down the stairs and tore down the tape they put up. The guy asked me if I tore down the tape and I told him I did, then I proceeded to tear down the other tape preventing my exit that didn’t tear down so easily. I told him there’s no reason to block the stairwell off for painting the wall. I told him I didn’t mess up any of his work and I did it in a not so civil manner. Then he said look. When I looked I realized he was painting the underside of the stairs and a stripe on top of the stairs. I had to apologize and the lead painter told me to calm down and I apologized to him as well. Obviously that doesn’t fix the lines that he has to repaint but later I felt good that even when I was mad I can accept when I am wrong. The positive sensations I experienced through that idea were notable. I suppose the mechanism is, you observe yourself embody a positive quality and this raises yourself worth. The righteous reinforcement probably fuels a little bit of arrogance, but any of that that others may perceive is more a product of certainty, experience, and the ease of comparison. Not too veiled, but the last one is intentionally left ambiguous when I could elaborate.
8/1/2022
The following is a summary of experiences working with a company called Premier Hospitality Installation and how moral judgements apply to everyday acts.
I’ve been working for the last 7 weeks or so installing shower doors and shower surrounds. Premier Hospitality is a construction company that travels for work to find the most lucrative jobs, and the company stays busy based on their ability to meet deadlines and provide high quality installation of furniture, fixtures, and equipment, including shower surrounds and doors. Their business model requires their installers to share living spaces. Which can be alright and began alright but a piece of shit can only hide his stank behind a smile and a laugh for so long before their true substance is known.
Mark and Kerri, the couple who operate and own the company, as I understand it, could rely on other income to support themselves relatively comfortably. Mark seems to do it because he enjoys the work, the opportunities he has to meet, socialize, and work with people, and also the opportunity he has to help others by providing them an opportunity for income.
For example, this piece of shit Jay who is also an installer, he had his car repossessed from the parking lot while living in his car. When this occurred I believe he was working for Mark for about a week and performed very well. Mark purchased a hotel room for him to stay in while they finished up the job in that area.
Provided him an income and shelter when he otherwise had nothing.
This story isn’t disputed by either party. Mark left Jay to finish some work while he had to leave the site to attend to some personal matters. Mark emphasized how important it was that he be available on a certain day so they could arrange payment for the temporary workers. Despite all that Mark had done for him, Jay decided that alcohol and cocaine were more important than fulfilling his responsibility and ensuring that no harm comes to the person who has helped him. Jay, this piece of shit, went out and partied while Mark was away and then refused to respond to calls or texts, claiming he was sleeping for something in the neighborhood of 17 hours.
As a result, Mark had to book a flight, take his time to fly to the location to make sure his temporary workers were paid, and then fly back. Imposition includes imposing on property and time. Which is why he’s a piece of shit. His habits and lifestyle, alcohol and cocaine, on their own tell us nothing about whether his actions impose on others, but his actions do impose on others and it’s often related to his lifestyle. Otherwise, a wiseman once said “it aint what you do, it’s how you do it.”
In between jobs, if someone who works for Mark needs work, he has a client in his area that owns hotels and usually has repair work that must be performed to reopen Do Not Rent rooms. He housed (POS)Jay, and provided him an income. The reason this works is because Mark usually doesn’t make a profit on this work. Unless it’s some major project that requires a specific contract, he will charge this client payroll to help out his client and to help out his workers.
There are two versions of what happened concerning the next event. According to Mark, Jay asked if he could bring his friend out there who was in a difficult spot. Mark told him not to and Jay invited his friend out there anyway. Jay says he did it with Mark’s approval.
Normally this would be easy, given the character of one versus the character of another, but Mark does have a propensity for embellishing, and possibly fabricating stories, at least according to the people the stories are about, or what they tell me if I bring those stories up to them. I don’t know for sure what happened, but I do know that Mark identified himself to Jay as someone Jay could take advantage of, based on his willingness to continue to help him after he had imposed on him.
According to Mark, after D came to the hotel Jay invited D’s brothers to the hotel and put them in DNR rooms. Mark said (probably told to him by the staff) they were walking around acting like they owned the place, and the staff discovered they were putting people in the DNR rooms. Mark temporarily lost his contract with that client as a result of that action.
Jay claims D’s brothers were involved in interstate moving, and Mark said if they wanted to stop by, take a shower, and rest up he could put them in a DNR room, but Mark doesn’t know anything about it if they get caught.
Again, I don’t know, the limits of Mark’s kindness are usually reached when it has the potential to overtly harm the business, even if the act itself is otherwise harmless. By that I mean the act of allowing someone to shower and sleep in a DNR room is harmless because it isn’t a room that is able to be rented anyway. The client thought the rooms were being kept DNR to house people. The explanation from Jay may be accurate, but instead of Jay respecting the conditions permitted, where the brothers could shower and sleep, they partied out by the fire pit. I think I remember D bringing up something about them being at the fire pit, but it may have been with Jay and not with his brothers. Even if Mark covertly extended an invitation to a DNR room for a night, it was for two specific purposes, to shower and rest before getting back on the road, not for meeting up with Jay and D to party at the hotel. Whether or not they were partying at the hotel, they still did something to draw attention to themselves, where if he would have taken them to the room, they showered and slept there, they wouldn’t have been discovered and there would have been no problem.
Another advantage taken at a serious detriment to Mark. This is imposition on property, since damaging the relationship between Mark and his client has repercussions for his income. Piece of shit.
Mark purchased a company truck that he allowed him to use for personal purposes. He would be required to maintain it but would be reimbursed for the maintenance. This is a person who depending on the amount of hours available makes in the neighborhood of 1000 per week as an independent contractor to the company. Every two weeks, Kerri, who owns the company, wants Jay to submit a receipt for a car wash, that’s the one condition of being allowed to use the truck. In one instance he didn’t have the money for a car wash, but outside of this circumstance, in the time he had the truck he refused to wash it. This creates a problem for Mark because Kerri will periodically bring it to his attention and then it becomes a job for him. Imposes on his time. He also didn’t get the oil changed as directed, and in one instance he didn’t have the money to get an oil change. According to Mark the place they followed him to to pay for the oil change took up about an hour out of their day. Imposes on time, perhaps intentionally, piece of shit. In addition to it being evidence that he is a piece of shit, it’s indicative of a value that creates more piece of shit behavior.
He’ll do the wrong thing if someone tells him to do the right thing and then be spiteful about it where that spite has consequences to the interests of people who have essentially taken care of him, providing him income, shelter, and for a time, transportation. Part of the reason he refused to get a scheduled car wash, was because he was told to get a scheduled car wash. While the act itself may not seem like a big deal, it becomes a big deal because Kerri brings it up to Mark, who brings it up to Jay and he still won’t spend 5 dollars that he’ll be reimbursed for the car wash. This becomes an irritant to Kerri and Mark, and takes up time out of Mark’s day to tell him to wash the car.
We agreed when we began sharing an AirB&B that dishes would be done shortly after they were used. We adhered to this in the first location and in the last location, although they didn’t buy any food at the last location or otherwise use or leave any dishes outside the dishwasher. Where we are now in Del Rio, there were 3 pans and some other dishes that were dirty for 4 days. I asked Jay if he was moving his mom in to do his dishes because she doesn’t live here. The next day he still didn’t do his dishes, which is another, I’m going to do the opposite of what someone tells me, even if this is a shared and rented living space, and even after he agreed to those terms of responsibility. Imposing on shared property (I’m not doing his dishes), or imposing on someone’s time and energy should they choose to wash a dish that they need access to. Piece of shit.
A more significant incident occurred in Dallas, where he refused to properly drill the holes so I could fit the multipurpose bit into the hole to drill out the drywall so there would be enough space for anchors. This prevented me from doing my job and I contacted Mark to let him know I was going to be done for the day and he ended the day after that call. After this incident I stopped providing Jay rides to work or taking him to lunch, forcing him to eat at the food truck, and Uber to work.
The following is a text I sent to Mark later in the day to let him know exactly what transpired, and I sent a copy to Jay to be transparent. The numbered portion is the itemization of facts, the main points of action.
I don’t think it’s a big deal, and you’ll be back to manage your skilled grown child, but I just want to give you the facts.
NOTE: (What I meant by I don’t think it’s a big deal isn’t the potential consequence, I meant that this incident won’t interfere with my ability to work around him (Jay) since he’ll(Mark) be coming back the following day to manage his grown child.
1: Some of the holes were too small.
2: I told Jay that the holes need to be bigger so I can get the bit in and he said okay.
3: We had one room I missed marking, 1005. I stopped to go back and mark that room and Jay went into it with the regular drill and chipped the tile on the holes he drilled.
NOTE: (3 was mentioned to show that the holes were too small where Jay couldn’t drill into his own holes without chipping the tile)
4: We come back from lunch and start (floor) 11. After I finish marking, I go to 1109. I get chips on the first two holes.
5: The holes now seem smaller than they were on 10th floor
6: I sent a text that the holes need to be bigger.
7: I get to 1110. I got another chip in this room.
8: I go to 1111. I put the bit to the hole and see it’s going to chip.
9: I sent a text that 1111 holes need to be wallered out.
10: I realize I cannot do my job if he isn’t doing his job properly so I find him and Chris.
11: I tell him the holes need to be wallowed out and he says he can’t do it with that bit.
12: I say here give me your drill. As I reach for it he pulls it back.
13: Then he says you want me to do this.
14: In about 5 seconds or less he wallows out the front part of the tile that was enough for the drill to fit into the hole without cracking the tile.
15: I said yes, that’s what I want you to do.
16: He says it’ll wear out my bit.
17: I say if you want to install I’ll drill.
18: I take my bit off of my drill.
19: As I’m looking in my bag for my tile bits he resumes drilling the hinges he was drilling.
Those are the facts without interpretation or conclusions.
First he told me he was going to make the holes bigger, later proved he was capable of making the holes bigger, but didn’t do it and had no intention of doing. He should have known by not doing it we were going to fuck up a lot of tile (Had I not stopped working).
He wasn’t going to do it because I asked him to do it. He wasn’t going to change jobs because I proposed the option.
Perhaps his latest example of spiteful behavior I may have discovered when I was drilling the pilot hole for hinges and installing hinges. When he was mad at Mark and Kerri he drilled 6.75 floors of hinges and side rail holes in what is conservatively a 15 hour period over 2 days. For ease of math we’ll call it a 13.5 hour period. Which means he spent 2 hours per floor drilling. He finished 12 through 3/4s of 18. I discovered on some floors there was a substantial amount of rooms that were marked and skipped. There are also other rooms that were not marked perhaps because they were missed, and perhaps due to some other obstruction. On the high end, on 6.75 floors, with 17 bathrooms there is probably an average of about 75% of the rooms done. This means he did an average of 10 rooms per floor. 13.5 hours x 60 minutes is 810 minutes. If he averaged 10 rooms on 6.75 floors, this is 67 rooms that we will call 70. This means he took approximately 11 and a half minutes per room. Which suggests he was dragging ass probably intentionally, and although we all miss a room here and there, it’s uncommon to miss multiple rooms on multiple floors with only 17 bathrooms.
On Thursday Mark made it clear that Friday was an important day because he wanted to try to finish what we were doing in Dallas and return to Del Rio for the other job, without having to stay another day and come in on Saturday. According to Mark, Jay was mad he had to Uber to work and the company wouldn’t reimburse him for a rental car since losing the truck which is another story. It’s also worth noting that he doesn’t have a problem taking an uber to and from the bar on consecutive nights, but claims he can’t afford to take an Uber to work everyday. Thursday night he went to the bar and came back late. Friday Mark called and texted him all morning and he didn’t pick up his phone. He finally got in contact with Mark at around 2:30 in the afternoon.
I’ve seen him throw whiney temper tantrums, this time the reverse of his typical modus operandi, where it wasn’t him refusing to do something but me refusing to do what he wanted done. Chris and I were carrying in the back panel for the shower surrounds. He said to flip them up in the shower. I told him I’m not going to do that but I’ll stand them up if they’re facing the right direction. He starts whining and says fine I’ll do it myself. He goes on to tell me to go back to doing templates and he’ll unload them too. I told him I’m going to continue to unload them and put them into rooms, because that is the task Mark assigned. Told him to stop whining like a bitch. Later I told him I don’t work for him and he needs to understand that there are things he may want me to do that I am not going to do.
This isn’t to not do something simply because he told me to and there is also some history behind my decision. 1st, Chris and myself are unloading a substantial amount of panels, somewhere around 20 of them. They’re big, bulky, moderately heavy, and on some occasions since there is a top and a bottom they have to be flipped or turned. It’s inefficient for us to figure this out while we’re distributing the panels, both in terms of the time it takes to figure it out for each room, as well as the energy expended where they’re first being carried to the room and there are a lot of them to carry to the rooms. The second measure of inefficiency is what is relevant to the history of the decision.
When we began the Dallas job Jay and a former installer named James mistakenly thought they were a co-management team. When we were first distributing doors we didn’t know that the doors could be hung in a room where the hinges were on the left side or on the right side. The doors came labeled left and right. We quickly learned which rooms were left side hinges and which were right sided hinges and distributed the door that corresponded with that direction. Jay initially thought he was going to stand in the hallway and direct people where the doors went, perhaps as he may have directed temps on the other job he worked on. This supports the pattern of behavior but the parallel came later.
Later we were all supposed to be unboxing the doors and he told D and I we should flip the doors right side up if they’re not right side up. But shortly thereafter when he was supposed to be unboxing doors he stopped unboxing doors, doing as few as 3 where he and James did not more than 8 together. After lunch he and James installed 2 or 3 shower doors for the remainder of the afternoon. Afterwards we had two two man teams installing shower doors, where Chris and myself were substantially faster than Jay and D. The point being, unboxing is labor intensive and flipping the doors slows down the process. He wanted to make sure if he was installing doors someone else would have to flip them. He tries to have other people do work he wants to avoid, and that is the other reason I wasn’t going to flip the panels.
As far as his skills, he does well with a saw, and he can caulk. On piece work he did well installing a different kind of shower doors, and can perform most basic installation tasks necessary for the job. I don’t caulk, but as far as installation is concerned there are things to compare.
In about 6 hours I completed half of 11 floors of base rails completing all the steps by myself. Marking the floor, drilling the holes, putting in the anchors, triming the anchors, and fastening the anchors with screws. There were 7 rooms on my side and an average of probably 5 rooms that had base rails measured and cut per floor. Which means I completed about 55 rooms.
Chris and Jay split a side choosing to break up the tasks into two jobs. One person marking and drilling, and the other person placing anchors and fastening. They had 10 rooms on their side and completed 7 floors. If we’re generous, we’ll say they had 8 rooms on each floor accounting for rooms that did not have base rails. This means in one less hour they completed 56 rooms. 56 rooms in 5 hours means they completed about 11 rooms per hour. Had they worked 6 hours as I did they would have completed 67 rooms at that pace. Of course that’s two people which means per person, they completed 33.5 rooms in 6 hours.
From an installing standpoint, not only on base rails but other applications I’m going to be more efficient because I want to complete the task, and in part because that’s how I show my appreciation for what Mark and Kerri have done for me. Part of it is just the scientist in me, in the sense that I want to know if something is more efficient, and just the pride I have in being effective.
Mark mentioned to me that Jay can caulk and he cuts shower surrounds, and mentioned how well I managed the temps and with the help of Chris and his temps was able to distribute about 200 80lb glass shower doors in under 4 hours to say we have different strengths. And I don’t deny that, but comparatively, other than cutting shower surrounds and caulking, when it comes to getting shit done I move about as fast as you can through every task I’m assigned, and I’m always available.
The other day, Mark had something to do and provided a briefing on what needed to be done. We had 4 temp workers, Chris, and his son. This was Friday. First we had doors to distribute on the 12th floor because we didn’t finish distributing them the previous day. We went to 12 and began distributing doors. One task Mark wanted to complete was to have one person unboxing and unwrapping hinges, with a person behind them picking up the boxes the hinges were in. I showed the two guys who volunteered for those jobs how to do it and they began that task. Connor and Chris resumed drilling tile. I assigned a guy behind them to insert and cut the anchors. The last guy I put on taking the trash out from the doors we unboxed. Shortly after I assigned the trash guy the anchor cutting task because the elevators were down for a fire marshall inspection.
Holes were drilled to somewhere on 18. After getting everyone directed to their task I began my task which was installing the side rails. I was interrupted multiple times during the course of about 2 hours I was installing them. At first it was the elevator for the trash guy, then it was reassigning the trash guy, then Chris needed something from my car and had to get my keys, I think his sharpie wouldn’t work, then it was Mark, then it was trying to get trash bags to the hinge guys, and it seemed every time I would start rolling I would be interrupted. Despite these interruptions that culminated in receiving a delivery, I was completing side rail installation at about 20 minutes a floor, going to 17 showers and spending probably less than a minute in each room when we considered walking from room to room.
At 11am, I got a call and/or a text from Mark that the procurement company had a delivery outside of about 30 hinges. I met the driver and directed him where to go. When I opened up the box truck door I was upset to find a full pallet stacked 2 high containing over 150 hinges. I was upset because we didn’t need them since we were leaving that day or the following day. There was no reason to have those hinges delivered because we weren’t going to do anything with them. It was also just me, the pallet was fucked up and had to be moved from the middle of the truck to the end of the truck where I could reach them, and it was very hot outside. Despite my frustration and desire to complete my previous task I unloaded them which took me about a half hour to walk them to our pallet about 15 yards from the back of the truck. They’re small boxes but you can only carry so many at once. I found the optimal amount to carry at one time is 4 but initially began with 2. Even at 4 that’s 30 yards round trip almost 40 times, 1200 yards or walking across 12 football fields. I did take a picture asking him WTF is this, and then I vented my frustration to myself saying there’s no fucking reason for this shit to be here.
The drilling started on 19 because I think Chris was under the impression that the drilling was completed on 18 probably according to Jay’s accounting. By about 2:30 I caught up to the drill on the beginning of 22. If the holes were drilled I would have finished all the side rails before 3:30, but we still managed to finish all the side rails through 22. I believe this was Chris’ first time drilling in tile with that bit and we had a lot of delays in the morning, with the sharpie as well as needing other tools we left in the bag. With a little bit more experience he would have drilled faster, and without the interruptions in the elevator or having to make trips for tools we would have finished through 24.
Another thing Jay does is argue with Mark about strategy and also encourages him to talk. I like to chop it up during morning briefings and at times throughout the day about job related matters, but once I understand what needs to be done I’ll ask Mark if there’s anything else I need to know and I’ll leave to begin my task. Jay has been known to encourage conversation to extend chit chat. I don’t believe this is his sole motivation for arguing, it’s probably secondary, but he will also argue with Mark about strategy and he used to do this with James before they realized they were installers and not co-managers. Primary motivation is he wants to do it his way, and then may perform the job slowly or poorly if he has to do it another way, and his secondary motivation is to waste time.
He was recently left with Chris in Del Rio to finish the side panels for the shower surrounds. The night before I left to Dallas I finished hanging the templates down to the 1st floor with roughly 6 remaining. I left at midnight because I had to drive to Dallas the next day. Interestingly, they left with me when they only had 6 rooms left to template which should take about an hour give or take. That may have been the night they took a 2 hour lunch which means he probably went to the bar for 2 hours. The following night he worked only 3 hours. Mark received a progress report at the beginning of I believe Thursday that they were almost done with the 4th floor and by the end of the night the 4th floor was complete. He said he didn’t get a progress update from between Thursday and Sunday when he was told they finished.
Overall, based on the amount of hours they worked they did well on what they completed. But Mark needed to know what was going on and was preparing to fly out there to find out and to make sure it was completed. He didn’t have to do that since it was completed the day before he was going to take the flight.
Later Jay said he gave Mark progress reports over the phone, and I didn’t remember it at the time he told me, but I remember Mark telling me that he would text and call Jay but Jay would ignore him once he asked where they were at. Mark was upset because had they worked their schedule they’d have finished Friday, still had 2 days off and been in Dallas Monday instead of Tuesday which means we’d have accomplished more in Dallas.
I told Chris loudly in ear shot of Jay that I didn’t believe he gave Mark progress reports over the phone. If Mark knows what’s going on he’s not going to fly to the job site, and that’s something you typically text. Everytime I asked him if he told him specific rooms that were done between Thursday and Sunday he answered ambiguously saying I talked to him on the phone and gave him progress reports, but wouldn’t say he told him what rooms they finished.
Mark had a checklist for him to notify him that he completed before he left Dallas, which included cleaning the area we were cutting in, but most importantly, notifying him that he picked up the necessary items in storage, some of which was materials we needed in Dallas. Because he was mad at how he was being treated (which was in response to his behavior, all of which is not chronicled here), he never confirmed with Mark that he completed the checklist or picked up what needed to be picked up at the storage. These are examples of his behavior.
He lost the truck because he had a flat tire and claimed there was no jack. I believe he eventually called a tow truck driver to put the spare on. This can be a misunderstanding if Jay is sincere in the reason he called Mark about it. Jay says he called Mark about the flat because he wanted to know what Mark wanted to do with the truck. Mark of course expects a 40 plus year old man to be able to deal with a flat tire, get to work, and tell him about it after he’s finished. Naturally, Mark is irritated when he gets a call during working hours that there’s a flat on the truck and asks what he should do.
In the days after having the flat he didn’t go anywhere to have the tire looked at and potentially patched. He chose to drive the truck on the spare to Dallas and let Mark take care of it. Mark brought it to a shop to have the tire patched and the company cross threaded a stud. The company referred Mark to a shop to fix that and that resulted in more damage that had to be fixed by another shop and the truck is out of commission, and/or they don’t want to give him the truck back because it’s a job to provide him with a company vehicle.
This a guy who has no bills outside of maybe a cell phone bill and food as necessities who depending on hours averages about $1000 per week. He’s worked for Mark for 7 months and probably doesn’t have more in his bank account than his last paycheck was for.
Another somewhat funny story is that after working for Mark for probably 5 months, when it was time to make the trip to Dallas he didn’t have gas money for the trip. The story goes that they provided him gas money up front. Typically from wherever you’re at if you drive there you’re reimbursed. I was told when he got to Shreveport he spent the extra gas money at the casino because he thought he was going to be reimbursed for the gas money that was advanced to him. Funny.
Mark, still believing his value is worth the expense, is going to give him a certain period of time to get a vehicle and is procuring housing close enough to the job for him to walk to work since he doesn’t have a ride. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes his value as an installer is not greater than the detriment of dealing with the piece of shit. There are more examples than these, these are just off the top of my head. Probably stole my blue lighter too. He had the same blue lighter that I had and now mine is missing. LOL. I can’t accuse him of taking my lighter because he had the same one. Idk, that’s petty, but that’s how he works. Acting friendly but steady doing underhanded shit intent on irritating people that he can deny.
As for me, I’m not blowing my own horn in talking about how I work. I’m also not interested in a long term position with the company. I also haven’t missed a day of work in close to a years time with the company ( about 8 months in 2021, and about a month and a half back). If I was interested in a long term position I would learn how to operate the lull and develop a few other skills required to do everything on a job. I have other things I want to do in life and this job is an opportunity to save money to facilitate that ambition. I mention this because some may think I’m disparaging this individual to increase my own opportunity within the company when I’m not seeking advancement. This write up is relevant to my material in showing how moral judgements are applied in our day to day lives, and to vent my frustration before my disdain for this individual leads to something else.
8/4/2022
I was drawn to an article in Time called “Air Conditioning Won’t Save Us” by Eric Dean Wilson. I thought it would be a technical article, maybe consisting of growing power demand above certain temperatures, an increase in average days, and the projection of power generation capacity. Or something to that effect. Instead it is the same tired leftist assertions about race being a source of disadvantage when the underlying causation for the outcome is class. This is followed by calls for action by the city, expropriation of the power grid and generating infrastructure, as well as other cliche pleas, platitudes, complaints, and short sighted ideas to address a problem that isn’t as great a problem as the author would have you believe.
He mentions one power outage that occurred in the NYC grid. During the period when customers lost power Consolidated Edison cut power to an additional 35,000 customers in predominantly black and brown neighborhoods. The article implies the choice was made to cut these customers’ power based on a racial preference when the actual cause is more likely because these neighborhoods were poorer than other neighborhoods. The author admits that wealthier neighborhoods that are also “whiter” neighborhoods were given priority for power.
Why does the power company prefer to maintain the flow of power to wealthier neighborhoods? 1st, customers who live in wealthier neighborhoods are less likely to be delinquent on payments, less likely to be on payment plans, and less likely to not pay their bills altogether. Secondly, spikes in electricity use during extreme heat are more likely to come from poorer neighborhoods who rely on efficient means of cooling that require large amounts of power, like fans, and window unit ACs. In fact the author claims an increase in window unit ACs may have been responsible for outstripping the supply of power. If you’re faced with a decision to temporarily cut power to an area to protect equipment and prevent more extensive outages, which area are you going to choose? An area that is drawing much more power than it typically uses, consisting of customers that are less capable of paying their bills, or an area that uses more efficient and predictable cooling systems where the customers are capable of paying their bills?
The article implies the neighborhood was selected based on race, or that race is a source of disadvantage because a neighborhood consisting of racial minorities was chosen to lose power to protect the grid. This is false. They didn’t pull up the racial demographics of the neighborhood and say we’ll cut the power there because black and brown people live there. Every place race can be inserted as a source of disadvantage the media inserts it because the idea is popular.
I’ve written on multiple occasions that class causation can alway be used to show racial disparities. You have a greater proportion of black and brown people who begin economically disadvantaged, and a greater proportion of white people who are born to financially advantageous circumstances. This means anytime a lack of money creates a disadvantage, that cause can be used to create the pretext of a racial disparity. However, the fact remains that in total, poor and impoverished white people outnumber poor and impoverished black people by more than 2 to 1. The problem is income opportunities not race. If the same place was primarily white but the income levels remained the same, and the use of power remained the same, that same area would have lost their power. And if the whiter areas were occupied by black and brown people but were wealthier, they would have kept their power.
The author continues to push this narrative by stating that black people pay more for cooling than white households. As if black people are charged higher rates because they’re black. Of course not, being disproportionately poor as a group has a number of consequences. Poor people tend to live in older housing that is less insulated, less likely to have central air conditioning, more likely to use inefficient window ac units, all of which increases the amount of energy required to stay cool during hot weather. Again, we’re talking about means and income creating this disadvantage, not race.
He goes on to talk about the role of a lack of trees in urban areas contributing to increased heat levels, where an urban area may be 15 degrees hotter than other areas with more vegetation. He babbles on about how trees provide shade shortly after stating there are 1300 heat related deaths per year. 1300 heat related deaths per year in a country of 330 million people. 1 out of 253,000 people. This isn’t to say that heat related deaths are not important, but in consideration of other issues that kill many more people, it shouldn’t be given priority over these other issues.
He reverts back to his racial disadvantage argument by citing numbers where the underlying causation is class. Stating that in NYC black people make up 22% of the population but account for 50% of NYC’s heat stress deaths. In cases where heat is listed as a cause of death in 2021 as counted in 2022, there were 4 deaths due to heat stress. In 2021 there were 5 deaths due to heat stress. In 2019 there were 8. In 2018 there were 4. Which means in 2021, if black people accounted for 50% of deaths caused by heat then 2.5 black people died.
The previous data was obtained from the NYC government website. They list 370 premature deaths as a result of hot weather. This higher number isn’t the number of people who died directly because of heat, but died because they had other conditions that were exacerbated by the heat. The reason I’m mentioning the website is because of how they push racial divisions and causation and contradict themselves within their bullet points. The following is quoted from the website:
“Black New Yorkers are more likely to die from heat stress, with death rates two times higher than among White New Yorkers. This inequity is due to past and current structural racism that creates economic, health care, housing, energy, and other systems that benefit white people and disadvantage people of color.”
“Lack of access to home air conditioning (AC) is an important risk factor for heat-stress death. Among those who died from heat stress, the place of death was most often an un-air-conditioned home.” (1)
They claim past and present structural racism is responsible for the disparity, but in the next sentence they acknowledge that a lack of air conditioning is essentially the cause of heat related deaths and most deaths occured in unairconditioned homes. I acknowledge that past systemic racism has caused a greater proportion of black people to be financially disadvantaged today. An individual’s ability to create their own income opportunities, and the quality of an individual’s income opportunities begin with household income they were born into. But today, poor black people are on the same footing as poor white people. Past systemic racism limited the opportunities of poor black people and as a consequence today a disproportionate amount of black people are poor. Still far fewer in total numbers than poor white people who are poor today because their families were poor in a system where an individual’s ability to create opportunities for themselves and the quality of opportunities they do have is largely determined by the household income they were born into.
With that said, your risk of dying from the heat which represents a general risk of 1 in 253,000, increases if you do not have air conditioning. So, if it is due to structural racism, something about an individual’s race has to be preventing them from obtaining air conditioning. Are black people prevented from going to school to increase their human capital to achieve an income that will allow them to purchase air conditioning? The answer is no. Are black people prevented from getting jobs because of race? The answer is no, and in the book Racial Perceptions I have addressed studies used by the left to suggest otherwise. Are black people prevented from buying air conditioners because of race? Again the answer is no. Are black, brown, and white people prevented from purchasing air conditioners because they lack the money to purchase them? The answer is yes. If a group is disproportionately poor, this group will be disproportionately impacted by the heat because they cannot afford to purchase air conditioning.
He calls it irony that we’re addressing extreme heat caused by climate change using air conditioning to address extreme heat, because the energy and chemicals that leak from old units contribute to climate change. Are we concerned with the handful of heat related deaths he feigns so much conviction in preventing, which according to the NYC health department requires air conditioning, or is he more concerned with how air conditioning marginally impacts climate change? Climate change cannot be addressed without a rapid transition to renewable energy. While he blames the republicans for resisting government action on climate change he fails to acknowledge how democrats action on climate change has been used to enrich the industries that support them. With the money spent on subsidies under the Obama Administration, we could have built about 13% of the infrastructure, including transmission and storage. And if that infrastructure was owned by the public and sold to utility companies the profits could have been used to expand that infrastructure putting us in a much better position than we are today.
To prevent less than 10 heat caused deaths per year in NYC his first solution is to expropriate the utility companies property. He states “First, we can return the energy systems to those who use them…energy should be controlled and managed by the communities they serve”. If we are returning energy systems to communities we are taking the property of the utility company and putting it under government control. Second, electrical power generation, distribution, and maintenance isn’t managing the bakery. There are people who understand this industry because they’ve been educated, trained, and have experience in providing this service. Handing over a city’s grid to the city is likely to produce inefficiencies based on a lack of experience that will result in the availability of less energy, causing more problems.
He adds that a co-ops around the world are leading the way for this community owned and operated power generation, but cites no specific examples where any co-op is providing electricity for any significant number of people.
His second proposed solution is to plant more trees. First, planting trees in an urban area is not going to significantly reduce the temperature. Second, the concrete structures that heat up during hot weather are not going to decrease in temperature even if you plant a tree in every space available for a tree to be planted. Third, since most heat related deaths occur in homes that lack ac, planting trees is not going to reduce heat related deaths. It’s written in a tone where people are crawling around trying to escape the heat and if they only had a tree for shade they would survive.
His third solution is legislation for better building design. Who does this help? It doesn’t help the poor, or the black and brown people who are disproportionately poor because they cannot afford to live in these energy efficient structures.
Fourth, he says we need to increase access to publicly cooled places like libraries and cooling centers. Unless a person’s behavior inside of a library has necessitated their removal, all people can go to a library. He wants to extend hours on cooling centers, build more cooling centers to address a problem that kills about 5 people per year.
His final proposal to address heat emergencies is to treat them like emergencies. That’s his opening statement of the paragraph and to him this means the city has to provide people information about how to stay cool.
8/11/2022
My new shirts arrived and I was impressed with how well the art translated to the clothing. I wore the most controversial shirt featuring a picture of Jesus looking up at a message that read it is just to avoid useless sacrifices. I was asked about the shirt and gave the basic gist of it, stating that justice is righting a wrong so not imposing on oneself is the righting of a wrong. A person from the party stated “if god is everywhere then why go to church”. I went into a basic explanation of liberty as the basis for morality, that everyone wants to do what they want to do, therefore right action is action that is unimposing and wrong action is action that imposes. I intended to lead into a place where god is irrelevant in the sense of an authority figure but was a little bit buzzed and was side tracked before I finished the point by him restating what he said originally. Which I didn’t contest in the sense that he said “if”.
Later I regretted not providing the full explanation and seemingly agreeing with the idea. The issue I have with myself is I do not agree with the idea. I agree that the logic is sound that if god is everywhere it serves no purpose going to church, which in the spirit of the shirt is a useless sacrifice, but I don’t agree with the idea that god is an authority figure. He doesn’t impose his subjective preferences on his creation. He doesn’t impose on beings who have no intention of imposing because it violates his morality.
God is irrelevant because he doesn’t impose on his creation which means first he doesn’t help or hurt here. So prayer, worship, and praise serves no purpose. Secondly, presuming on the survival of consciousness after death, separate spaces to accommodate different morality to ensure maximum liberty means those who understand and apply liberty get what they want and those who understand and apply tyranny get what they want. Which means god doesn’t assist in an afterlife, or give good to those who agree to worship him.
Finally, god is unknowable. Unknowable since any being that has a beginning can never know if they are in the presence of the cause of the beginning, or if they are in the presence of something in between. This is why god is irrelevant.
Unfortunately I express these things as a fail. A fail that stems in part from drinking, but more so because I viewed the interaction as something casual and didn’t focus on what was being proposed and give it the attention in the moment that I should have given it.
8/12/2022
Yesterday I mentioned I was disappointed in my response to the brief conversation I had about my shirt. Today I’ve thought back to the event on more than one occasion and there is a negative feeling attached to the remembrance. This is evidence that my self worth, or my opinion of myself has depreciated. In order to avoid a recurrence of such an event, my subconscious turns my attention towards the event as evidenced by thoughts and accompanying feelings. The stress stimulates the thought and produces the objective to rid oneself of the stress. The subconscious is always creating objectives to produce a positive feeling, and the subtraction of a negative feeling is a positive feeling.
To produce this positive feeling my attention is drawn to the event and I’m privy to the feelings attached to it, and I want to avoid this consequence. This means I need to understand why the negative performance occurred. To do this I have to have a rough idea of how I was perceiving what was being said when I heard it. From that point I can understand what went wrong.
I believe I was asked about the shirt. I tried to explain simply what it meant. The man offered a perfect example of what the shirt meant, the principle of it. He said “why go to church if god is everywhere”?
I initially thought I wasn’t listening to what he was saying, and failed to address the god is everywhere and the general irrelevance of god in the sense of an all powerful creator. I can’t explain how the morality of any creator is liberty evidenced by the universe i.e. his creation, without explaining what the morality of liberty is. After hearing if god is everywhere why go to church I didn’t think about how his statement perfectly fits the sentiment of the shirt, in going to church is a useless sacrifice, I wanted to go further into it that it is a useless sacrifice because “god”, cannot help you here, and cannot help you if your consciousness survives death. This means your worship, praise, and rules imposed on yourself by such deity has no benefit. So why go to church and listen to stories and give these people your money? It doesn’t benefit you. Unless of course you give money to church that uses those proceeds to help disadvantaged people in the community, those donations do benefit you, but even then, you can make your donation and save your time.
Unfortunately, since it requires a short lecture to explain it, after making the first point I was side tracked and then unable to return to the succeeding points. Understanding what I was thinking, why I was thinking it, where I was going, and why I didn’t get there improves my self worth because in understanding why the poor performance took place, I disassociate with yesterday’s version of myself.
My objective was to show god’s irrelevance to definitively make the point he made in his statement, but I also had a secondary objective I didn’t make it to which was to contest the idea that god is everywhere. That’s mainly because we are all separate entities existing within a space. If god is a being he cannot be space as well, otherwise god has no space to exist within. I don’t know how far I may have gone in addressing that point through my conception of existence.
I believe it would violate god’s morality to cause an intelligent creature to come into existence for mere spectacle. God would not want to stop existing therefore god would not cause a creature to come into existence for temporary entertainment purposes, because god would not want to exist for those purposes. The same way a person wouldn’t willfully bring a child into this world for the purpose of withholding from the child things they’d want for themselves. More importantly, to cause a being to stop existing would be imposing on that being, and this would cause a creator to feel bad about it’s self. Such a creator wouldn’t do it.
A hypothetical creator is unknowable, in the sense of what caused the first effect, not only the universe but also preceding it and beyond it. If consciousness survives death and one is in the presence of a being in a different space there is no way to know whether that being is the supreme creator or if that being is something in between and what preceded it and that space.
Space, no matter what that space is, is the facilitator of motion. Within our space, on earth, and within the universe, motion is produced by previous motion and on smaller level by conscious beings. Morality is motivating and prohibitive, in positive feelings for righting a wrong and negative feelings for avoiding something that is wrong. I won’t go through the mechanisms I’ve been writing it a lot lately, but the point is, morality is a determinant of motion. This means a person’s understanding and application of morality must determine what space is appropriate for that being if consciousness survives death.
Morality is separated into two categories liberty and tyranny. Liberty begins with the human constant that all people want to do what they want to do at all times. All people can do as they please so long as they do not impose on the ability of others to do as they please, and there are few concepts that express all the ways in which one can impose. A tyrant will impose on the liberty of others to get what they want. A tyrant’s morality is subjective, in what the tyrant says is good and bad is good and bad and enforced through consequence, even if the act doesn’t impose. The tyrant is only persuaded by consequence, in the sense that the anticipated consequence of imposing on someone to get what they want, isn’t worth what they want.
Since morality is also motivating, in the feelings associated with righting a wrong, or preventing a wrong, the morality of the subscriber to liberty is at constant odds with the morality of the tyrant. The propensity of the tyrant to impose is in constant conflict with the propensity of the libertee to prevent and neutralize imposition, and to seek restorative justice for imposition that has taken place. If consciousness exists beyond the limits of the physical universe, in a more permanent form, there has to be separate spaces to prevent eternal conflict which is the essence of tyranny.
The existence of the universe suggests that there are separate spaces. The reason being is nothing could create the universe if all the beings within a space were in constant conflict. We have no creation of the universe. The fact that something exists is evidence that there are separate spaces. The absence of imposition on the creation, suggests that any creator’s morality is liberty since it does not impose on it’s creation, where all the decisions of the creatures on this planet and physical laws of this space determine everything that happens within this space.
Why does the universe exist instead of not exist? If we imagine a space of conscious beings free from physical constraint and able to create anything they desire they will eventually create and do everything they want to do based on the pool of experience possessed by the beings. Eternal liberty becomes stale. The only way for the beings to continue to enjoy existence is for the space to be populated by new beings with new experiences. The universe seems to exist for that purpose, where even in very extreme versions of habitable conditions life seems to take hold and evolve. The universe is the random assembly of particles and elements to produce life that has the potential to evolve into intelligent life whose experiences and potentially their presence can contribute to existing beings beyond the observable universe. I see the universe as the reproductive mechanism of consciousness, and I see a space beyond that not populated by one all powerful being and a sea of servants, but many beings capable of doing anything they please but do not impose on one another. Many beings who for subjective reasons may not even like one other and free to exist outside the presence of one another.
Of course no one has asked to exist, so what about a person who is tyrannical in their application of morality? Liberty gives them what they want, which is to exist in a space of tyranny in constant conflict, or a space of tyranny ruled by a tyrant. If we presume there is a space of tyranny a being’s liberty depends on their ability to impose a consequence on those who would impose on him, and his ability to impose on others without them being able to impose on him. Can impose on everyone below, but can be imposed on by anyone above. It can be more freedom because of all the being can impose on, but it can also be no freedom if he can be imposed on even by one being, since the one who imposes on the 1 who imposes on 100s, controls the 1 and his 100s. There can be constant conflict or there can be supreme order since in such a space there is one being who can impose on all others. That is the heaven of Christian, and hell for a human being who hasn’t been conditioned to the story.
The Christian hypocrisy is that Jesus tells you to love your neighbor as you love yourself, but god doesn’t love you as he loves himself. God would not want to be created and presented with only two options, eternal servitute or eternal torture, where the former represents a version of the latter. Therefore, god does not love you as he loves himself. Of course my biggest problem with religion is it causes people to believe that magic is responsible for the happenings on the earth, and not the actions of people on this planet that produce its general functioning, including the furnishment of opportunities. If you believe god has a plan, answers prayers, or otherwise intervenes as he wills in the affairs of human beings you believe the world operates on magic which is harmful to the species because you don’t understand why things happen.
Now, in having to go through all this it isn’t lost on me that the point originally pertained to why god is not everywhere. God is not everywhere because god is the creator of spaces and exists within some original space, and his creations exist within the spaces brought forth from that space. It’s kind of irrelevant but it’s relevant in what people think it means if god is everywhere.
8/20/2022
My interaction with most people can be described as courteous, respectful, and helpful when the opportunity presents itself. I rarely write about those encounters first because it is the way things should be, it isn’t notable. Second, to write about those encounters can be perceived as image promoting, where telling stories about positive interactions appears to be done for the purpose of trying to make myself look good before others. And third, such interactions typically don’t relate to material or stimulate any insight.
So while most of my interactions are positive I definitely have more conflicting and confrontational experiences than most people. Part of this is due to awareness where I’m more aware of what is going on than most people in terms of applying morality to motion. The second aspect of it is I do not intend disrespect or harm to anyone unprovoked, meaning if we have a problem it’s because someone treated me in a way that was imposing or was a way I don’t believe I would have treated them if roles were reversed and circumstances were similar.
There is a quote from Che Guevarra where he states “if you tremble with indignation at every injustice you are a comrade of mine”. I mention this quote not to imply that I may have a dead friend, I mention this quote because “trembling with indignation at every injustice” is a real response to injustice. I often become angry when I experience it or observe on almost any level where I have certainty about the event. This is compounded because as a younger man when myself or others within my circle were subjected to disrespect or injustice we would often escalate the situation and impose physical consequences. This history is a problem for me because I can be taken to similar places emotionally from when I was younger and would initiate or invite a physical altercation, where today I’m much more calculated concerning the consequences and morality of such action.
In every situation I am thinking about justice and the creation of a consequence for a transgressor to deter future transgression. As I’ve written concerning those who have a tyrant’s disposition towards morality, only a consequence that harms them more than the objective of imposing on you benefits them will prevent them from imposing on you. In regard to justice, justice is righting a wrong or making an offended party whole. While wrong done to a person may not be able to righted, or the person may not be able to be perfectly restored from whatever has been done to them, knowing that the person who has done something to them has experienced something negative produces positive feelings which is restorative.
I see and apply these things in every facet of my life. I’ve been working in construction to save money to get myself off of the ground. The company I work with is one contractor among probably many others on a job site. When people have materials or other things in our work area that don’t have any business being there I will go out of my way to make their job more difficult for making mine more difficult. Whether that’s putting their materials in the hallway from a room, scattering their materials around the room, or just throwing their shit somewhere. Because the idea that I’ve done something that harms them after they’ve harmed me produces a positive feeling from fractional justice that is worth the time and energy expended. Another minor incident that serves as an example of how I approach these things is that I was living in an Airbnb with other people who work with the company I work with. We had an agreement that we would do our dishes after we were finished with a little bit of leeway depending on circumstances. There was one member of the household who left dishes dirty for about 5 days. I brought it to his attention and in what seemed like an effort to spite me for reminding him to do something he agreed to, the next day he still didn’t do the dishes. I was leaving for Dallas the next day and left a stack of dishes before I left. Another recent example was at a Panda Express in Del Rio. We went to the Panda Express for lunch and were told the soda fountain was out of service. I looked at two women who were eating lunch and they had soda cups in front of them. I asked the employee how they had drinks if the drink machine was out of service? She told me she doesn’t know she just got there. I had water and an energy drink in my cooler in the car so I was able to have a beverage with my meal. While we were eating a worker came over and filled up a cup from the soda fountain. Shortly after another worker filled up a cup from the soda fountain and someone said it might have just been water. Mark, being curious, went to the soda fountain and pressed one of the soda levers and said soda came out. I don’t know what the motivation was for denying us service. Maybe because we were white and the women who had drinks were hispanic in a primarily hispanic border town, maybe because we were from out of town, or possibly because they didn’t like us for some other reason, but they lied to us and denied us service that we wanted and should have been given. I saved a decent portion of my noodles, rice, and sauce and dumped it on the floor on the way to the garbage. Someone was going to do more work for denying us service.
I experience these kinds of things on a somewhat regular basis and my first thought is the consequence I can impose for the imposition I suffered. The previous examples being very small things, but even these small things produce indignation that motivates the creation of justice. As an older man I realize I cannot just put my hands on people everytime they do something, which is often more about the consequence since violence is often morally justifiable, but sometimes not. It isn’t that I’m only motivated by positive sensations associated with revenge for imposition. The other part of it is if I do not respond to these things, I’ll feel bad about myself later for not responding. A loss of self worth for having not resisted tyranny and allowing someone to impose on me without resistance, or justice through consequence. In some sense facilitating tyranny.
This evening I ordered Domino’s pizza and pasta. It will probably be the last time I order from the franchise based on this experience. I ordered at about 7:30 and the order was supposed to be delivered by about 8pm. I’m about a 5 minute or less drive from the location. The delivery driver left at 7:53 according to the tracker. There is also a map similar to Uber eats that shows the driver’s location. I’m waiting and the estimated delivery time continues to roll back and the location tracker updates intermittently. It says the driver is 1 minute away around 8:10 and I go down stairs from my hotel to meet him. It shows that he’s near my location. Then the tracker updates a few minutes later and now it’s 2 minutes. It shows the car moving and it’s still 2 minutes away. It shows it move again and we’re still 2 minutes away. This goes on and on for about 10 more minutes.
I’m wondering what the problem is. It’s 8:20 which means my food has been sitting out for a half hour regardless of whether it’s in an insulated bag. I call the store and explain the situation to see if the driver is having a problem finding the location, or what the general delay is concerning. The worker tells me your driver has multiple orders at your location. This doesn’t answer my question and when you say my location to me that means at the hotel I’m staying at which clearly isn’t taking place because he isn’t here. I begin to restate my question and he repeats his answer before I can complete the sentence. It’s stated in a tone that makes me feel like he’s saying fuck you and your food it’ll get there when it gets there. Naturally I become angry, resort to name calling and pretty much tell him fuck you too. He tells me he’s canceling my order.
Since I already have to leave to get more food I stop up there to verify that the order is going to be canceled and my money refunded. Something that wasn’t done prior to my arrival because after he did it I received a text message that notified me that my order was canceled. When I get there I explain who I am and why I’m there. I was still pissed when I got there but the person I talked to was on the phone which gave me a little more time to settle down, but I was still initially animated in the conversation.
He asks if I’m going to call him any more bad words. My response is as I told my child when she was younger that there are no bad words, that he has a subjective interpretation of bad words, and I continued to use some of what he calls bad words. Then he said I wouldn’t like him to call me the things that I called him and I told him I didn’t care what he called me. Then he claimed I called him a son of bitch. I didn’t call him a son of bitch, I don’t talk like that (did call him a bitch), but that’s a stereotypical white angry thing to say to somebody which is probably why he said that because he didn’t recall exactly what I said to him.
I withdrew from the conversation after he threatened to call the police and have me removed from the store. My conduct in the store did not warrant calling the police or removal, but he could say I was doing anything in the store and the conversations on the phone are recorded. My tone in the phone conversation would support any accusations he made if he called the police and my participation in the conversation didn’t really serve any good purpose. Plus he already agreed to get me a copy of the receipt showing my transaction was voided which was my main reason for stopping at the store. Of course had he canceled the order when he said he was canceling the order I would have received a text and wouldn’t have come to the store to begin with.
While I was waiting he said the delivery driver had 100 pizzas to deliver before my delivery. This seemed like bullshit. Conservatively a 100 pizza order would be enough to feed about 250 people and I doubt my order would have even been accepted in such a situation, but more importantly, 250 person event would probably be catered, not a situation where spur of the moment 250 people are gathered somewhere and decide to order Domino’s pizza. Let’s say there was a 100 pizza delivery and there was my delivery. Bear in mind the locator showed the delivery driver within a few blocks of my location multiple times, and in a place that was beyond my location in relation to the Domino’s location. What I mean by that is where the driver ended up on the tracker was further from the Domino’s than my location. Why wouldn’t you deliver my pizza order first since the time the other group will wait is insignificant compared to the time I would have to wait for them to get their order? And it’s on the way, and the tracker gave me an estimated delivery time of the time it takes to leave the store and arrive at my location. A bullshit explanation that still doesn’t account for the bad service I received.
He also commented that he was a general manager for 12 years and had stock in Domino’s which I suppose was relevant to him in feeling inadequate for working at Domino’s, because it was completely irrelevant to our issue of him being indifferent to the shitty service he provided. Then he said I should never talk to food workers the way I talked to him. WTF is that? If you work in food then people cannot talk to you in certain ways when you provide them shitty service? Food workers just get a pass to be assholes without anyone being assholes to them in return?
FInally I told him why are you still talking? I asked you to do something for me that you agreed to do, we don’t have anything to talk about. He gave me the receipts and said he hopes I never order from his store again. Yeah I want to wait an hour for a pizza that I’m not going to get and get that same shitty service and indifference to my issues? Then he’s going to pull that bitch move and threaten me with the law so he can make a few bullshit comments.
In terms of justice I at least gained the satisfaction of talking to him in a way that he felt like he shouldn’t be talked to after he treated my order in a way that it shouldn’t have been treated. I mention this story which probably makes me look bad because I do recognize a need to better manage that trembling indignation I experience when confronted with injustice. It’s a barrier to communication. I’m fine with the response, just not the expression of the response which is influenced by my propensity as a young man to administer justice through escalation to physical altercation.
Since I quoted Che I should probably provide a brief explanation for the quote. I’m not a communist or a socialist but when I was about 30 learning about the life of Che was very inspirational. Western propaganda tries to keep attention away from his life by calling him a murderer, and trying to insinuate that he was an adrenaline junkie motivated by blood lust instead of a revolutionary who dedicated his life to trying to improve the lives of others.
The claim that he was a murderer is without merit. He fought alongside people who were seeking liberation from tyrannical governments. During the Cuban revolution he presided over executions in the field and after the revolution through tribunal judgements. If you’re a guerrilla force attempting to overthrow a government that doesn’t serve the interests of the people, what do you do with people who jeopardize the revolution and endanger the lives of the people who are seeking liberation? If a person is providing information to government forces about which villages are supporting the revolutionaries the consequence for these people are rape, torture, murder, and or having their property seized or burned. If you have the evidence that someone has done this what do you do? You can’t house them as a prisoner and take them with you when you’re moving from location to location and scarcely have supplies to sustain those who are fighting. A person motivated by their own gain whose action may cause innocent people to be raped, tortured, murdered, or their property taken or destroyed is an act that is worthy of death. After the revolution he presided over tribunals where primarily people in the military and police were executed upon evidence that they committed serious crimes against people. Where witnesses testified to murders and other heinous acts perpetrated against them, their families, or neighbors. I may be wrong about the particular biographer but in a documentary, John Lee Anderson was asked in those tribunals or in the field regarding executions if mistakes could have been made. He responded there always could be, but in his research there are none that he knew of. Under similar circumstances during the American revolution there were summary executions. Which means if Che is a murderer and his life can be reduced to acts he presided over during the Cuban revolution, so can Washington and other commanders who did the same thing.
I know about Che’s general story, read the motorcycle diaries, read his handbook on guerrilla warfare, watched the movie made about his life, documentaries made through positive and negative biases, and read quotes from him. The short version is as a student in med school he took time off to travel Latin America. During his travels he saw the plight of Latin American people and understood it was caused by western interference in the countries and despots who would serve the interests of the United States to benefit themselves at the detriment to the people.
After finishing med school he worked as a doctor in Guatemala. During this time through the prompting of the United Fruit Company and the ties the corporation had in the American government the United States fomented a coup to remove the democratically elected president from power. Jacobo Arbenz implemented an agrarian reform that would expropriate unused land from the United Fruit Company and compensate the company for what the land was appraised at. The company had the unused land appraised lower than it was worth to pay less taxes. They had a problem with the price, but they presumably also had a problem with how the move could impact the labor market. If the poorest people in the country were given land to work for their own benefit that means the UFC would have a less advantageous labor market. When people hear the word expropriate they equate that with stealing someone’s property. In this situation it’s the equivalent to eminent domain in the United States where a person can be forced to sell their land if the acquisition is necessary to serve a substantial public good.
After Arbenz was removed from power due to the actions of the United States, there was a communist purge in the country and Che fled to Mexico City where he was introduced to Raul Castro and eventually met Fidel. Fidel was banished from Cuba after an unsuccessful attempt at creating a revolution by attacking an army barrack. It was in Mexico City that Che joined Fidel Castro and 81 other men to sail to Cuba to help the Cuban people liberate themselves from the US backed dictator Batista.
My admiration for Che came from his intelligence, honesty, integrity, purity of intent, consistency between word and action, priorities, and commitment to trying to improve the lives of others. He wasn’t just a fighter, he prioritized education, and I quoted him on a shirt I need to redesign where he stated “a people who cannot read is easy to deceive”. The quote applies to how people in Latin American countries were easily persuaded by propaganda. While people in the United States today can read, it’s interesting how they are persuaded by a diet of propaganda despite the ability. A different topic. He also provided medical treatment and advice during the revolution. I remember an account where he was seeing people who had never seen a doctor before and told a woman she should try to eat more meat. The woman’s daughter told her she didn’t believe he was a doctor because he was telling that to everyone. The reason being is the whole village was malnourished.
There are a lot of stories. The conditions they faced during the Cuban revolution. People coming and going and how that impacts morale. Traveling 20 to 40 miles a day on foot, without food, through difficult terrain. Creating makeshift schools, teaching people reading, math, and other education while you’re fighting constantly moving and fighting. What was the policy for captured soldiers? If Che was motivated by power and blood lust you would think they would execute captured soldiers. The policy was to offer captured soldiers an opportunity to join the revolution, and if they refused to join they would release them.
After the revolution Che was the president of the Cuban Central Bank and later became the Minister of Industries. He was a celebrity across the country. He would still go into the cane fields to cut cane to set an example and motivate others in an effort to increase production. Che could have lived a long and comfortable life in Cuba.
The people in the Congo recently gained independence from Belgium. Patrice Lumumba who played an important role in the obtaining of that independence was made prime minister. Western countries including the United States supported a take over of the country by a general named Joseph Mobutu. He ended up ruling the country for about 30 years aided by west. Prior to this Patrice Lumumba was executed. After the take over Che and some Cuban revolutionary veterans went to the Congo in an effort to support revolutionary factions in the Congo. Unfortunately the revolutionaries in the Congo did not have the same zeal for liberating the country that those in Cuba had and the effort failed. Che was quoted as saying they cannot help a people who refuses to fight.
After this defeat Che could have resumed a role in the Cuban government, enjoyed the celebrity status he had among the Cuban people, and lived out his days comfortably productive. There is an account that when he was in Mexico City with Fidel Castro, they had a conversation that seemed to express Castro’s self doubt. Castro had a boat and about 80 men and he was about to sail to Cuba and try to recruit his countrymen to liberate themselves from an oppressive regime. He asked Che do you think I’m crazy? Any sane person who was committed to this undertaking would have to have doubts about his sanity and how people perceived it. Che said a little. Then Che said, you have to promise me that when the revolution is over, you’ll support me in bringing the revolution to the rest of Latin America. To which Castro responded you’re a little crazy too. A little crazy is good.
Che wrote that during his trip through Latin America prior to completing med school that there was something more important to him than making advancements in medicine. He wanted to help those people. Che, making good on his promise, planned a liberation effort for Bolivia. He underwent plastic surgery and obtained fake documents to enter the country. Unfortunately the plan fell apart. Many people were contented by piecemeal reforms that were recently passed, he didn’t have the support he expected from the communist party in the country, and people were persuaded by propaganda against what he was trying to accomplish. He made a series of tactical errors probably brought about by the desperation of the situation and was captured and executed on CIA orders.
This brief summary doesn’t really capture all the reasons I admire him or qualify the itemization of the qualities that serve as the basis for that admiration, but he is one of my favorite people from history. It’s unfortunate that people like him and others I admire from history are kept away from the public mind. Role models and heroes are made out of people who do not embody admirable qualities. I also want to distance myself from his political ideology. Che was a communist because during that time it seemed like the best way to safeguard the interests of people from western imperialism. He regarded it as a means to give people the highest quality of life by everyone benefiting from what a country produced. At certain times, in certain places, and without external interference it may have been successful in a place like Cuba. That’s another story altogether.
Che said a true revolutionary is motivated by love. I contend that a true revolutionary is motivated by liberty. Che’s love for people motivated him to try to help them liberate themselves, and have a higher quality of life through a greater amount of liberty. One account of Che being executed he was told that the people rejected him and his revolution. To which he responded maybe because they believed your lies? To me it isn’t the creator of deception that caused people to be deceived, but the people themselves who want to be deceived. This is a modern understanding of why people are deceived today in the United States, because their perspectives are built on deception and they want to reinforce their perspectives so they consume information that reinforce the lies they prefer. I am motivated by love, but no longer a love of people generally. I’m motivated by love of liberty, the utility of the truth to liberty, and justice.
My general disposition is colored by the circumstances I find myself in. How can I describe it in a way that a person can understand? If you’re an atheist imagine you lived in a world where you were the only atheist and everyone was a christian. If you’re political, imagine you were a republican and existed in a world where everyone was a democrat; or if you’re a democrat imagine you lived in a world where everyone was a republican. The point is to imagine you lived in a world where people’s perspectives were so far away from reality that it is nearly impossible to communicate with them about anything of any substance. This is the world I live in.
I have a few things I’ve been working on. I inadvertently began rewriting assignment, sequencing, and comparison. I have another article I’m working on intent on sharing some true insights that I hope to use to attract attention to my material from atheists. But most of my time is spent putting in a lot of effort working a job I don’t enjoy to save money while I become increasingly aware of how old I am getting and little progress I am making. This takes place on a backdrop of feeling like a burning ember of shining light surrounded by cold darkness, that is always trying to encroach upon my light and extinguish my flame, and I am always trying to push back against it.
That would be the best ending to this entry, but I had something I thought about in the car the other day for reasons I don’t remember that I wanted to share. I don’t know when but at some point in human history there were tribes of people who did not have language. I think about how crazy it would be to be born during that time. Where you become conscious within your body but you don’t have words to communicate. It’s a crazy existence to me. Made me wonder if cave paintings were created for no other purpose than simple communication. If you went somewhere and saw a herd of buffalo. When you returned back to the group how would you tell them you know where a herd of buffalo is without language? Maybe you draw trees, a river, and a hill that people are familiar with and then draw a bunch of buffalo. That’s purely speculation that followed my thoughts about being born into a tribe where language was undeveloped but I thought I’d share it. The main thought being life without language, an existence of grunts and pantomime.
8/24/2022
I responded to a social media poll asking whether or not Andrew Tate should have been kicked off of Facebook and Instagram. The poll reminded me of the private property free speech dilemma within the subject itself.
These are private companies and their websites are their property. If social media sites were brick and mortar buildings where people gathered to share their thoughts, the companies would have the right to make people leave and deny them future access if they didn’t adhere to the rules of the establishment. This can include the kind of language they permit within the establishment and content.
When a site has 3 billion users, or in the US 233 million users, it isn’t the same as a social gathering within a brick and mortar building, because it controls a significant amount of nearly half the world’s impressions, and in the United States over 2/3rds of the country. Social media giants are not typical private companies. According to the legal definition and in their functioning, they are utilities.
According to the Law Insider Dictionary:
Utility means a person who owns or operates for public use any plant, equipment, property, franchise, or license for the transmission of communications or the production, storage, transmission, sale, delivery, or furnishing of electricity, water, steam, or gas.
Social media sites are corporate persons who own and operate for public use equipment and property for the transmission of communications. This means they can be classified as a utility. There is more explanation I need to provide since transmission typically refers to physical infrastructure like phone lines or satellites.
In functioning, since the content is created and shared by other users, social media sites are very similar to a phone company. A phone company facilitates communication between two parties who have purchased the necessary equipment and pay for the service.
I no longer use social media sites but I am familiar with Facebook having used it in the past. What does Facebook do? Facebook allows users to communicate with other users through text, pictures, and video. The difference between a phone conversation between two people and people communicating by viewing one another’s pages or feeds is a telephone number and a user name. Similarly, where one party can decide not to call someone they do not like, a user can choose to not subscribe to another user’s feed, not view their page, or block the user. The same way a phone company cannot choose the content that two people communicate to each other, social media sites should not be able to censor the content that users share with one another.
The greatest significance of social media sites being classified as utilities is a utility cannot deny a person service without good cause. Good cause typically represents a person not paying their bill. By appropriately classifying social media sites as utilities social media sites would lose the ability to deny users access based on the content a user posts.