4/2/2023
(Withheld Entry)
4/3/2023
I went to a landscaping job this morning. The work was quick and easy and the person I was working for was easy to get along with but I probably won’t be working for him again. Cheap mother fucker. He had us meet him at the Home Depot and drive with him to the job so he didn’t have to worry about one of us leaving early, but he only paid us for the drive to the job site and didn’t pay for the drive time to the second job. In all it amounted to 12.50 each. I don’t like doing business with people trying to nickel and dime it when we did 90 percent of the work and just made you a bunch of money. It costs more in the long run.
He mentioned the issues that he runs into on craigslist, and some of them I’m familiar with having been in supervisor roles over craigslist workers and as an interstate mover hiring CL labor. You avoid these issues by not trying to save $25 on labor when you have people who work well. On the one hand someone says they save $2500 over 100 jobs. But do you really? Because if it takes other people 2 more hours that’s $68 so you lost $43, and $4300 over the course of 100 jobs, but you also lost 200 hours. Not to mention guys showing up late, or as he mentioned, waiting hours for guys who don’t show up at all.
After he paid us I wanted to tell him I wasn’t coming back because I don’t like that nickel and diming, and it’s about the time not the activity, but I didn’t want to burn that bridge just in case he had work and I really needed to make money. It’s unlikely that I will, but circumstances could necessitate it.
There was a moment that was pretty funny. I looked on Google maps when I responded to the ad because he said he was looking for someone between two cities outside of Cincinnati. I thought I chose one that was reasonably close to improve my chances of getting the job. Distance shouldn’t matter, if I’m willing to drive it for the money being offered so don’t worry about it. I lost a job because of location today. After I finished the job with him I was eating at subway and saw a moving unload job. I texted and he asked me where I was at. He said he was driving there in the ad, and chances are he’s at least an hour out because you’re not going to post your ad when you’re 15 minutes away. It was in Middletown which I was probably 40 minutes away. I couldn’t tell him I was in Middleton if he was going to be at the job before I can get there. The ad was posted I think 36 minutes prior so he could be close. He told me he was looking for someone in Middletown.
While working the landscaping job the other guy asked me where I lived so I stuck with the city I told the guy who hired us. The funny part is the guy asked me if the prison lights bothered me. I told him I hadn’t been there long and didn’t see the prison. He said it’s hard not to see the prison in that town but then the owner said the prison was located somewhere else. It was funny to me that I happened to pick a town that had such distinguishing structure.
This is also a good example of a moral lie, in that 1st, because them believing I live where I said Iived has no bearing on their liberty, not in motivation or opportunity, and second, it protects my liberty in not being discriminated against for something that isn’t relevant to the job. We value the truth for it’s utility to liberty. Something I wrote about comprehensively in the book Liberty: The Definitive Moral Truth.
I responded to an ad for a moving company that was offering $25 per hour. I responded with the requested information and then they requested more information. I might respond to them but I’m not looking to become that acquainted.
I also responded to a person who wants someone to drive a box truck to Florida. If it’s worthwhile I would be a perfect person to do it.
Other than this after I went to the gym I didn’t do shit productive. Tired. I argued that Giannis should be the clear cut MVP, leading Embid in every relevant statistical category including ppg when adjusted for minutes, Giannis is a better defender and has led his team to the best record in the league despite the Bucks being without their second best scorer. Jokic has 4.5 more assists and Giannis has 7 more points per game, he gets to the foul line twice as much putting players and teams in foul trouble and disrupting the opponents coaching strategy and player rotation, and Giannis is the better defender, and the Bucks have the best record despite missing their second best scorer most of the season. It really isn’t even close, and the media is going to give it to Embid just because he hasn’t had one, despite having no case since Giannis is better than he is at everything in terms of production.
Need to get money and at least figure out a strategy for solicitation.
4/6/2023
This is a different kind of entry. Two days ago I began writing yet another post lamenting my time on this planet. As I thought about what I was going to write I thought about a great distinction between my positions on issues from others who take the same or a different position. My positions are rooted in objective morality and are moral incumbency for me, whereas other people’s positions are not. Often people’s positions are taken based on associations with other ideas or people they like, or are taken based on social and image opportunities. Yet even if it does come from a place of actual interest in the subject, it is rooted in something subjective, even if seemingly moral, like the dictates of a deity, authority based and acted on to gain favor with something that definitely doesn’t exist as they conceive it. The deity rewards and punishes which means all deity worship is an effort to improve one’s circumstances through supernatural means.
Fell off topic, but there is an explanation of my position on abortion and gun ownership as moral incumbencies. I edited the original entry just to include those two issues because it began as something more than I want to express right now, and the explanation within these two examples is worthwhile. I intended to list more. The deleted portion began with how the public is distracted with soap opera political narratives that they confuse for being about politics, and social issues, many of which like abortion are not relevant at the federal level. It’s a matter of state law and the courts, because it will probably be a very long time before a constitutional amendment will be possible. To do that you have to have the support of states. After the moral explanations on guns and abortion I have a few thoughts on reports about nations attempting to undermine the role of the dollar as the world reserve and trade currency
There are certain positions I take that are morally incumbent. Abortion is a moral incumbency to prevent people from beginning life circumstantially imposed upon due to a low household income and a parent or parents who do not possess parental skills and or the parental will. Since a fetus isn’t conscious it cannot be imposed upon. A fetus has no experiences, therefore it has no likes or dislikes to be deprived of. Understanding this I have to support abortion, because abortion is not only an act that does not impose, it is an act that preempts imposition, where being born would predispose the child to circumstantial imposition.
It’s also a moral incumbency for me to support people’s right to bear arms. Weapons neutralize physical disadvantages preventing people who are stronger from taking from the weaker, or people with a weapon posing on one without a weapon, and otherwise imposing on their person and property.
We also know that other weapons are capable of producing as many if not more casualties than any weapon legal in the United States today. The most recent mass shooting in Nashville killed 6 people injured 0 others, while a man in Waukesha driving a car into a crowd killed 6 and injured over 60 others. Gun control does not reduce the number of people who will die from people in this country, producing people who want to kill indiscriminately.
As we see in California, gun control does not stop mass killings, and the state with the strictest gun control laws also has the most mass shootings. Gun control activists will cite the gun death rate being higher in states with fewer gun laws, but they do not count how many of those killed, died while perpetrating a crime? I don’t look for the content, but I’ve had 3 videos in the last 2 months of self defense killings in Houston alone. The gun death rate as a number means nothing. I’m not implying that any state is close to this but to illustrate, a state could have the highest gun death rate, but if most of those deaths were self defense killings that would be a positive thing because x amount of people were able to prevent themselves from being imposed upon.
A person’s right to bear arms is rooted in a person’s right to defend themselves, and laws should be designed to ensure a person is legally able to defend their persons and property. I saw a report today that a man in Washington state shot an intruder who kicked down his door and was approaching him. The police said he hasn’t been charged with anything but they are working with a prosecutor to see if there is anything to charge him with. Why? Either the scene is consistent with how the man described it or it isn’t. If it is, why would you be looking for something to charge him with? Maybe the promotion of a gun control agenda where even those who use their guns to protect themselves after someone has forced entry to their home may still be charged. Yet most people would rather be unharmed and charged than harmed with no charges.
The point being is the reasoning for gun control is it will somehow reduce mass killings. That hasn’t been the case, not only does gun control not prevent mass killings, gun control does not prevent mass shootings. The next lie they believe is that a semi automatic rifle is the most effective killing instrument, but we have numerous examples where arson, a car, and other legal and illegal implements have been just as effective as semi automatic weapons in producing kill and injury counts. Not to mention mass killings that have been stopped by armed citizens have unquestionably saved lives. The FBI claimed only 4 percent of mass shootings were stopped by civilians, but an independent review of the data showed 34 percent of mass shootings were cut short by armed citizens. I don’t remember the explanation and didn’t review the data so I cannot be confident in either statistic.
But if it is 4 percent it’s much more than 4 percent, because the question isn’t how many mass shooters were stopped by civilians, the question is how many mass shooters in states with favorable gun owner laws were mass shootings stopped. For example, if over a span of time California had 20 random target mass shootings and Texas had 10, with 4 stopped by civilians in Texas and 0 in California, overall 13 percent of mass shootings were stopped by civilians. But in this scenario, 40 percent of mass shootings were stopped in a state that had favorable gun laws. Again those numbers are illustrative of the question, not actual numbers. I don’t want people to read that and start telling people 40 percent of mass shootings in Texas were stopped by armed civilians.
Gun control isn’t about addressing mass killings, the number of people killed and injured when mass killings occur, or making people safer. Guns are a scapegoat for America’s aptitude for producing people who want to kill others indiscriminately, and for the party it’s a political goal for the sake of a political goal. Some people are not capable of reasoning themselves out of biases, so they accept that gun control means mass killings won’t happen, typically because it comes from a source associated with a bunch of other false ideas that create the perspective that allows them to get joy from the things they get joy from. A politician can promote themselves through gun control and write gun control legislation to encourage those who support it to vote for them. The more public support they can generate the more money they can raise to improve that support. People believe things because they want to, not because they understand why it is or isn’t.
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I read a few articles about the BRICs and other countries trying to reduce the role of the dollar as a global trade currency and a world reserve currency. Saudi Arabia created a financial partnership with a Chinese entity and China and a few other countries made exchanges in their own currencies. This isn’t anything new. The United States derived alot of power and privilege from the dollar being a world trade and reserve currency. Non-aligned states want to undermine that to reduce US influence and increase their own influence. It isn’t that easy to do.
Following WWII after the Brenton Woods conference the value of the dollar was attached to gold and the value of every other currency was pegged to the dollar. As a result of government spending nations began to make a run on US gold since dollars could be redeemed for gold. We left the gold standard, but to ensure demand for dollars remained the US made an agreement with Saudi Arabia to only accept dollars for oil. Everyone needs oil so everyone needed dollars to purchase oil. Since everyone has and needs dollars, dollars became the currency a lot of international trade takes place through. Nations keep a great deal of their reserves in dollars because the value does not fluctuate wildly and it’s preferred for international trade. Instead of having a vault of dollars slowly decreasing in value nations buy Treasury Bonds, which allows the US to have bigger budgets than it would otherwise be able to afford. Private interests hold more US debt than nations do. As the global economy increases in size it produces demand for dollars in the form of Treasury Bonds as more production, sales, and profit need a safe interest bearing storage form.
Where the world is now with the dollar, to reduce the role of the dollar in trade and reserves isn’t as simple as trading in ways that do not involve the dollar and liquidating your reserves. First the currency used in a lot of international trade isn’t decided by nations, it’s decided by private entities. Second, there are many more nations subordinate to the US, or whose compliance can be maintained through US favors than there are nations who would turn on the dollar. Many of those nations have been outliers on the world free market with some like China becoming active fairly recently. Third, even among non-aligned nations there is still the need to access markets that are most easily accessed or exclusively accessed through dollars. Fourth, even non-aligned nations need a safe haven to store their reserves within a medium that will maintain its value. Fifth, many nations like China cannot harm the dollar without harming themselves. The less value the dollar has the fewer goods Americans are going to purchase abroad, the fewer products American companies will need overseas labor to assemble, or retain for customer service, the fewer raw materials they will purchase and so on and so forth.
Like I said it’s very difficult 1st to undermine the role of the dollar in the global economy, and 2nd, to do it in a way that doesn’t harm your own interests more than it harms US interests.
4/9/2023
I intended to begin a new targeted solicitation but in my current campaign promoting RUSC to economic justice organizations, there are a few things on my mind after reviewing about 40 websites. These organizations aim to make money by parroting democrats talking points. At most they provide statistics, but they all seem completely devoid of substance. Some are promoting race and gender narratives, and most are promoting an us versus the billionaires narrative. I’ve understood better for such a long time that I forget people are still moved by that.
There’s never been a period in this country where the interests of wealth and industry did not exercise influence and control over public policy. There’s no way to separate money and politics because money is the vehicle to promote a message. That acknowledgement of power is key to developing strategies to achieve a higher quality of life through the creation of adequate opportunities for income.
For one, I don’t believe these organizations believe in their causes as much as they believe in the appearance of the cause being beneficial to them. This is based on knowing that when you’re concerned about something you first seek to understand it objectively so you can create a solution to address it. Promoting issues that are not issues means they have no interest in the issues or at least not in understanding them separate from a popular narrative.
Suffice it to say I won’t be surprised to be ignored by these groups. Silence is never a surprise since I know how people operate. People don’t need to be right about things, they just need to avoid and ignore what shows them to be wrong, and consume reinforcing information and associate in reinforcing circles. Everything is about appearance, material gain, and image promotion.
I have another solicitation to send targeting the monotheists and giving them the moral limitations of the creator and introducing them to liberty as the basis to try to help them understand the role of morality in the decision making process. Hopefully I can sell some books, gain some support and maybe some will stop deceiving their congregation.
I’ve been checking CL. Getting near a stressful place. Hope I can find a few days of work. I don’t really know where I’m going. I had about a half day landscaping but wasn’t interested in working with the guy after the first day. I wrote about it in a previous entry.
4/13/2023
I sent my first batch of solicitations to churches, mosques, and synagogues. I doubt they’ll be read and if read probably not understood, and if understood rejected based on their investment in their beliefs. But there is a big list and the possibility even if slim that it will create interest. It could also create negative interest which could lead to the sale of some books, and possibly some attention. It serves two purposes in the absence of any result. First it creates the illusion of productivity, much like these journal entries which I see are occasionally viewed but never lead to any known interest. The illusion of productivity feels good. Journal I suppose is also an outlet in an environment of intellectual isolation. The second purpose is it’s kind of like the lottery, in the sense that if you buy a ticket you know you’re not going to win, but there is a possibility no matter how slim.
While religious people are typically closed minded people trying to improve their lives either here or beyond by pleasing a deity imagined to be an all powerful benevolent tyrant, they are people who are interested in life itself. There’s a structure built on questions about life and its purposes. It’s a reflection of man’s chosen tyrannical mode of operation and the best tyranny they could imagine, but it demonstrates a desire to know what life is. An interest in the questions of life even if answered through a faulty structure is better than most people who don’t take what it means to exist seriously. Maybe not.
It’s an interesting thing to exist. To wake up in a body and proceed through life. It’s unfortunate that people proceed through it never really thinking about it because they accept a contradictory ill-advising deity that they don’t even study suffice for an explanation of existence.
I’m very low on money. I’m supposed to meet with someone to install furnaces tomorrow. It does not feel good. The opportunity feels good because I do need to make some money but I think why? Feels like I’m dragging shit out. Obviously, the religion solicitation is unlikely to do anything, but everything else is pretty much evidence of this species incorrigibility that prevents effective communication. So how long do I keep myself fucked up out here? I think about that a lot. And also understand to not existence to be immoral. By this point in my life it’s mostly about what I could accomplish with the right spark.
Lastly, I’m extremely disappointed by the reaction to the Bud Light can with a trans-person on it. There are legitimate public concerns about the gender agenda. Teaching children that boys are really girls and girls are really boys when transism is the development of values associated with the opposite sex. Children having trans medical procedures and hormones. Biological men competing in women’s sports, and probably a few other areas where biological gender distinctions are relevant to preserving privacy and neutralizing disadvantage.
There is nothing wrong with a person expressing values associated with the opposite sex. Some people will like it, and people will not. People don’t have to like it, they just need to respect people as people. For the most part, I believe among people on the right that’s what you have. Then I see all this backlash for putting a trans person on a can and it delegitimizes the legitimate grievances I mentioned. Because these people like Kidd Rock are using their platform to hate trans-people. Now they will say it isn’t about protecting children, it’s about hating trans people.
It’s pretty late and I don’t want to start going down the road of all the popular soap opera politics, but so much of this seems so intentional.
4/13/2023
Not looking good. I met with the guy today for furnace installation help. It requires me to get workers comp insurance. Would have been something worth mentioning before I met up with him, we could have saved each other some time. With about $200 to my name, it’s difficult to spend $120 to make $75 a day. The job seemed like a decent prospect initially especially considering my present desperation. It was $75 for a few hours of work a day that would turn into an opportunity to make about $300 a day. Of course it’s difficult to know. Suppose I spend the $120 and then he does what the next guy does and tells me there’s no work. Then the real bad spot I’m in becomes much worse.
After meeting with the furnace installation guy there was a fake gig posting. I called the guy and he told me he had doors to load into a hotel. I went to the site and waited for a half hour, calling and texting and receiving responses that he was waiting for some guys and would be coming out. After a half hour I left. As I pulled out of the hotel parking lot I received a text from the person saying he was out there so I drove back around. He wasn’t there. I waited a few minutes and left.
4/16/2023
There was a FB comment exchange where one commenter wrote that Democrats were hoping Trump wins the Republican nomination because Trump is the only one democrats believe Biden can beat. Someone replied that’s the same thing you thought in 2016.
I replied that Trump won in 2016 because Bernie Sanders voters voted for Trump. He said that was irrelevant, and Trump won despite the media’s efforts to protect their Chinese profits. I explained how Sanders voters determined the election. Surveys show between 6 to 12 percent of Sanders voters voted for Trump in 2016.
In WI, 570k voted for Bernie in the primary which means between 34 to 68k voted for Trump in the presidential election and Trump won WI by 20k votes.
In MI 598k voted for Bernie in the primary which means 36k to 72k voted for Trump in the 2016 election. Trump won by 11k.
In PA 731k voted for Bernie in the primary which means 44k to 88k voted for Trump in the presidential election and Trump won PA by 45k votes.
If these 3 states went to Hillary in 2016 she would have won the election.
In 2020, these states were lost by Trump. WI and PA lost by a margin smaller than the presumed 2016 BS voters voting for Trump range. MI was lost by a huge margin likely due to covid propaganda that benefited democrats.
I’m not recording this entry to restate the cause of Trump winning the election in 2016. It’s not to say that Trump can’t win in 2024 since he has the benefit of running against a Biden presidency and people’s dissatisfaction with local democratic policies that can translate into national party votes. After I explained the case for Sanders supporters deciding the 2016 election another commenter replied to me that it was useless to tell them because they live in alternate realities. This is completely true but the commenter likely also lives in an alternate reality so I launched into a short lecture explaining why that is, and that all people live in alternate realities. That comment is the focus of this entry.
Unfortunately that is all people about many things. A person can only understand or accept something if it reinforces what they believe. The changing of a belief has consequences to their values, (what they like), and what they do, including their value of themselves. Facts are a product of what information feels good, not what can be understood to be true.
This is the most fundamental problem with human beings. It’s not biological, it’s a social construct that exists due to a misunderstanding of morality. Self deception is essentially a collective moral choice.
The duality of morality is liberty and tyranny, because the human constant is that all people want to do as they please at all times. All people can do as they please so long as each person’s liberty does not interfere with the liberty of others. Acts that impose are wrong because they prevent people from doing, and acts that do not impose are right because they allow all people to do.
There’s physical imposition, imposition on property, circumstantial imposition, imposition on time, threats, and deception. Those categories and the justification for imposition (prevention and neutralization of unprovoked imposition) are the basis for determining the morality of any conceivable act. Obviously there’s explanations but I’ll explain deception here since it’s the only category relevant to the topic.
People do what they like but what they like is largely determined by what they believe is true. Deception imposes by causing people to like what they wouldn’t like and consequently to do what they would not do.
Self deception wouldn’t be a problem since people doing what they please even if facilitated through the adoption of false beliefs is okay if it doesn’t cause them to impose. The problem is self deception not only imposes on the individual, in motivation, know how, and intellectually because people cannot learn things that challenge their beliefs, but it prevents communication and has consequences for systemic functioning that produces individual circumstances.
I need to explain circumstantial imposition to proceed with the point. An individual’s liberty consists of 4 elements: desire, money, time, and know how. Desire is a product of values, know how can be obtained through time and money, and an individual’s opportunities for time and money are determined by systems. Systems exist through collective consent and participation. Consent is a product of an individual’s benefit or nationalist indoctrination. Participation is a product of consent or a necessity to survive.
If most of an individual’s time is spent working a job that barely meets their expenses they are trapped in those circumstances since most people’s income cannot be improved without money and time. Systems that impose trapping circumstances are collective imposition on those individuals because an individual’s circumstances are produced by the systems others consent to and participate in. Personal development is also strongly influenced by the household income a person is born into. For those who believe the US is infallible and people’s choices completely determine their position in life, those choices are the product of a low income environment. I have references for these assertions, and the data isn’t in dispute. Liberty as the Basis for Objective Morality is novel and self evident.
Self deception prevents communication because people choose facts based on what feels good, not based on what they understand is true. As you said “they live in an alternate reality”, but it’s compounded because the otherside and the politically indifferent also live in alternate realities. Communication cannot take place when self deception prevents the establishment of fact, since facts are chosen and not observed. This imposes on others circumstantially since systems produce trapping circumstances and exist as they are because people cannot agree on facts, much less a course of action. Also imposes socially and intellectually.
All human problems are a product of self deception, and inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money, with the second being a product of the first. I know better than anyone “it’s useless to tell people the truth, because they live in alternate realities.”.
I understand the mechanism, the subconscious processes of the mechanism, and the cause being moral in nature. The inability to understand the value of the truth in its utility to liberty.
Lastly, self deception not only imposes on know how in the direct sense of how to do things, but also developmentally in the directing of attention. Existentially this is why Jesus was wrong or the gospel writers were wrong in saying all things done in ignorance will be forgiven because what a person knows is based on their values or what they like, since their likes direct their attention. Therefore if a person is imposing but doesn’t know it, their ignorance is a product of their values and their values are a product of what they believe, maintained through self deception. Ignorance is willful.
One more thing I intended to mention previously. It both is and is not the deceivers responsiblity for deception. It isn’t because the demand for deception drives supply. For example, the media chooses which stories to cover and how to cover them based on how it reinforces people’s beliefs to attract attention and make money. A 10 second clip of a suspect being shot and implying that the justification is controversial, attracts more attention to some broadcasters telecast than a 30 second clip that provides circumstantial context and an explanation of case law and how it does or does not apply to the officer’s actions. Just an example of how self deception, and the demand for deception drives the supply.
The media, business, politicians and others are responsible for deception in that they build on people’s biases with new lies to advance their interests. Even in that, a person who doesn’t want to be deceived to feel good in the reinforcement of their perspective cannot be lied to very long. Human beings understand the world around them through cause and effect and have the innate ability to recognize consistency and contradiction. Of course a person has to be genuinely interested in the subject, and most of the time people are only interested in a subject appearing in a way that reinforces their perspective. The people are just as if not more responsible for the world we have than those who are building on biases to advance their interests.
4/21/2023
I’ve started and paused 2 other entries that I don’t feel like returning to. The points made may still be true, insightful, and beneficial, but the mood is lost that motivates what was being written. But that mood is bound to return because I’m unable to change my circumstances.
Can’t get people to recognize and act on their own interests, can’t get people to buy books about information that is pertinent to understanding the reality that they exist in, that can make them smarter by helping people identify their biases and inconsistencies that prevent them from learning things. People won’t sign a petition to give themselves a 50 to 100 percent raise, and give raises to people in the bottom 50 percent of income earners in the process.
I’m sure some of it has been me. I tell em what it is, and they should either ask questions, get on board or state their basis for resistance. I didn’t play with people, stroke their ego, or pretend I was more interested in them outside of their awareness and support of the legislation. And it could just be me. A woman I got up with a few times from Jacksonville, TX said I sound like one of those guys who thinks he’s better than everyone. Not in content I guess, but in tone.
I came across a Plato quote I’m going to post on my home page because of the applicability of the ancient observation to my situation.
I completed a trampoline assembly and loaded a moving job which provided me with just enough money and stimulation to keep my mind off of putting my head in that rope. That idea represents the mood referenced in the preceding paragraph. “Those who are able to see beyond the shadows and lies of their culture will never be understood let alone be believed by the masses.”
I saw an article in my Google feed which turned out to be a highlight of activist stupidity. They begin by mentioning PVC smoke from the trains that derailed and ignited in Palestine, OH. Activists want the agency in charge of allocating the 15 billion dollars to replace lead pipes, to not allow PVC to be used, to mandate copper or stainless steel. There are no studies that show PVC pipe used to for drinking water is hazardous to human human health. There are however numerous studies spanning decades that show the serious effects lead has on human beings especially children. 15 billion dollars buys at least 7x more pipe in PVC than it does in copper. I say at least 7x based on the cost of PVC versus copper on a website where the difference in cost is probably greater when purchased in volume, and purchasing 15 billion dollars in copper may impact the price of copper through increased demand for the semi rare metal. The point being is the activist would rather put 7x more children at risk of lead toxicity to avoid a material that is yet to be proven poses any harm to human beings.
These mother fuckers are getting press and funding. The public can’t see through the shit. It’s a business to create a fictitious problem and propose a bullshit solution or in this case as well as others, a harmful solution. They can approach people and gain support for we’re trying to make the government only allow lead pipes to be replaced by copper pipes, to get plastic out of our water; and people support that without any understanding that this person is making a living from you supporting putting children at risk to lead exposure. That’s the world I live in. Meanwhile, I’m promoting legislation to raise wages for the bottom 50 percent of income earners, increase some companies profits, decrease federal spending, and increase federal revenue, without the investment of a dime from the federal government, and an imperceptible amount of an investment into the wages of poor people in this country when you make a purchase from certain businesses.
People look at me like I’m the grifter. I’m the real. I’ve been going through hell for a lifetime, but maybe more so in the last 10 years. In the last 10 years my life has been all about developing, understanding, discovering and trying to make a way for things that inform and improve this species. Many things developed through the denial I encountered, the need to understand what produces it in an effort to overcome it. I’m 10 years into it. If these were things I believed I’d have gone a different direction long ago. Problem is you cannot walk away from what you know.
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I recently found out I still had some money in my business bank account. It’s only $139. Since I’m low on money I went to the bank to withdraw $120. There’s a $15 a month low balance charge so I left $15 to pay for next month’s fee. I have a trampoline assembly tomorrow and it’s through a service that pays into that account. I wanted to make sure I could withdraw money from the account. I mention this not to reiterate how fucked I am, but because the transaction was funny to me.
I withdraw $120 and first she asks me how I want that back. Doesn’t seem like enough to be asking that question but I’m sure some people are particular even with small sums. The funny part is she asked me if I wanted an envelope. I thought as I walked out, I should have said on second thought let me get it in ones and put it in an envelope.
Probably 2 weeks ago I posted an ad on CL in Columbus in the resumes section. I was offered a roofing job, and today a landscaping job. In summary of my last 5 years, I worked for an interstate moving company, the objective was to save money to promote my material. I worked for 8 months, had some issues at the end and saved about $6000. The result was I was arrested in Florida in December of 2018, and spent a year going to court for a few grams of marijuana, a pipe with marijuana residue, and 4 10mg THC gummies. I work as an FF&E installer, the objective is to save money to promote my material. An incident where I defended myself when I was assaulted after a comedy show caused me to leave the job before I wanted to. I only had $5500. I did some promotion handing out flyers and in some instances distributing flyers as well as various electronic solicitations. When I ran low on money I tried a stunt, and none of these efforts attracted any real interest or attention. I went back to work in FF&E to try again. After we finished the Del Rio job and had maybe a week left on the Urby, I was getting excited to promote OPL and believed there would be widespread interest and support for the Round Up Service Charge Tax Credit Incentive. In addition to my excitement, Mark and his brother started leaving me at the job site to do a disproportionate amount of the work. Then pretend like they were there when they weren’t. That was beginning to bother me and during some of those periods I fucked off because of it. Prior to Mark’s brother showing up who worked well when he was present, I did most of the FF&E in Del Rio. Mounted headboards, wardrobe assemblies, lighting tracks, TV walpanels, TV’s, closet shelves, bathroom mirrors, coat racks, among other things. I unboxed, marked, drilled, and hung 2.5 floors (17 per floor) of shower doors in a day at the Urby. In the excitement of OPL and beginning to feel taken advantage of I left with $11,500. I wanted to save $20,000 but I was also at a place where I was thinking let them get some of that work so I left abruptly. I also thought I should be able to gain support and funding and it would be a waste of time to spend another two weeks finishing the Urby job and then another month or two starting the Winslow job which was scheduled to start a few weeks after we finished the Urby.
No need to restate what I’ve done with the money, I’ve described my efforts in previous entries. Which leads me to where I am now. Update on the landscaping job he texted me that he found someone. Funny because he texted and then called and left a voice mail I did not respond to which should have indicated that I did not have any interest, making it unnecessary to tell me the position has been filled.
What’s the reason I don’t have any interest? I have a product that cannot be marketed. Since the objective is to save money to promote OPL and my material, but I cannot market truth and the serving of people’s self interest then there is no objective. People’s common sense has been contaminated. Common sense is the ability to recognize cause and effect, but that is absent when truth is chosen based on what makes a person feel good. It’s difficult to have motivation to work a job to save money again, to apply that money towards an unobtainable goal. A goal that is unobtainable due to identified human behavioral mechanisms that cannot be overcome. Which leads me back to the last few months where I’ve been wasting my time essentially post poning an early check out.
So what do I think? Are people unable to understand what I’m soliciting? It doesn’t seem possible. I’ve sent a variety of manuscripts to academic journals, and received only generic rejections. The lone exception was an academic journal I submitted the balance stimulus to who offered criticism that I thoroughly refuted and he did not respond after that. Otherwise, things are understood and rejected based on the challenges these things pose to positions and beliefs.
You can make a living telling lies because people want to be lied to, but you can’t make a living telling the truth because it upsets people’s lies. Even when your ideas address major problems and serve all affected interests if it upsets people’s lies they will ignore you.
You have priests, pastors, rabbis, imaam, and others making money in the promotion of lies. You have the media, politicians in office 30 years doing nothing but making a living off of the same rhetoric decade after decade. You have the non-profits I solicited doing nothing but promoting vague leftist propaganda in support of electing democrats who do nothing but represent their preferred industries on the federal level. They’re making money. Groups without a firm grasp of the problems they purport, no solutions, and no strategy for accomplishing the solutions they do not have.
I believe I could attach myself to one of these lies and probably make money. I’m not bringing them up because I’m jealous of their success, I do hate them because I know they’re frauds, but I bring them up to say I’m performing service that is considered a market contribution. The content is great, but there’s no market.
I should have people’s interest, I should be selling books, I should be giving lectures, hosting OPL meetings, conducting studies, making advertisements, participating in interviews, and fulfilling other roles in the advancement of Liberty and Truth including growing OPL and accomplishing proposals.
If working a job and saving money is not going to lead to that then there is no purpose in doing that. I continue bullshitting around until the right time comes along to see how right I am about what comes next. This life and this world is some bullshit.
The only choice I have is the trading of time for comfort. My life isn’t about increased comfort, that doesn’t produce contentment. I want to live in a world with intelligent people where all people have opportunities for adequate amounts of time and money, and are born into households where the heads of those households have adequate amounts of time and money and foundational values to create environments that are conducive to children developing productive and intelligent interests and habits. I can’t have that because the species I am a part of is governed and manipulated by feelings they don’t understand which allows deception and stupidity to reign supreme.
I sometimes claim that I see the world with a clarity through my objectivity that developed through the purity of my intent that no human being has ever seen it through. I could be mistaken. I make the claim on the basis that if anyone was possessed of my values and understanding, then everything I know and have discovered should already be known and been popularized in the advancement of human interests. However, on my present trajectory, I will likely live and die without much of anything I’ve known, observed, discovered, argued, or written ever being understood by anyone else. Ignored through the supremacy of bias. Maybe I’m not 1 out 117 billion people who have ever lived, but others have discovered the same things and were ignored through the supremacy of bias?
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The following consisted of more but I’ve reduced it because some of the points made require a greater explanation than I feel their worth right now.
All the results on this planet are a product of the decisions made by the creatures on this planet.
Today there was a shooting at a birthday party. There were 4 killed and 28 injured. The sheriff did state there was varying degrees of injury where anyone who received medical treatment was counted as an injury. Not related to the point but if you’re providing information on a shooting why not provide who is dead and who has a shooting injury which is more pertinent to the event than deaths and who may have sprained their wrist when they fell while running. He also stated that some of the injuries were critical so it was important that people pray for the injured.
The first problem is this sheriff believes that super natural powers determine outcomes in this world despite no evidence of a supernatural force ever producing a result on this planet. It’s harmful to believe that something is creating outcomes that is not creating outcomes. All the negative results we see on this planet are produced by the people on this planet.
It all begins with people’s limited conception of reality. Their mind was molded to the box of tyranny, their highest ideal is that there is only a box of tyranny and the supreme tyrant is benevolent. The human conception of heaven, being under the authority of another being for eternity, is an objective conception of hell. No good creator would cause conscious beings to come into existence for the prospect of two variations of torment, or purposes that itself wouldn’t want to exist for.
Prayer itself is ridiculous, even you’re a person who believes supernatural powers influence the happenings in the physical world. They must imagine their deity is a YouTuber: alright, I’ll help them recover but only if I get 300,000 likes, and 20,000 subscribers, so some of you are going to have to go to church if you want me to do this. By virtue of you praying, and encouraging other people to pray where the more prayers you get up the more likely he is to answer it, that’s how you’re saying your deity operates. Why let it happen to begin with? Is there not enough people praying that no one gets shot? Holy SHIT!!! We solved it! Everyone just needs to pray and then there won’t be any shootings? That is the implication of that stupidity. It isn’t god, its the decisions of people in households, neighborhoods, cities, counties, states, countries, and across this world that produce the results on this planet.
There was a recent study where people were told they were going to get computer generated feedback about their personalities. Most of the people in the studies reported that the analysis was very accurate. What they didn’t know is they were getting randomly generated information. This highlights a problem with the mental health awareness movement or psychology’s push for power and marketing. It shows that people are constantly searching for things to establish an identity. It’s astrology, sexuality, brands, mental disorders etc. People reach for things that they can use to establish an identity to themselves and promote to others.
This is a hodgepodge of an entry, but I figured I’d throw it up anyway despite part of the content lamenting not being understood and this entry serving as a partial example of why. Not representative of my usual concision and clear articulation but still some beneficial content
4/23/2023
There were two things that caught my attention today. I was also considering deleting a few paragraphs from my previous entry, but it’s an honest explanation. I’m essentially just passing time in case something changes.
It may have been on the radio or an article I read that the Texas Senate passed a bill mandating the 10 commandments in public schools. It must have been an article because I remember a justification was that the country was founded on the 10 commandments. It’s a ridiculous assertion that is completely at odds with freedom of religion, where the Judaic deities’ first commandment is you shall have no other gods before me. A nation based on the bible would forbid the practice of worshiping other gods.
I’m sure someone will sue the state for promoting religion through public institutions which is an obvious separation of church and state issue. It’s bizarre to me, that so many people are buried so deep into something that clearly is not true. I’ve qualified that assertion in many preceding entries and more thoroughly in Liberty:The Definitive Moral Truth.
It’s more than another example of how primitive this species is, it’s a reminder that people believe things that do not make sense because it makes them feel good. It’s a painful reminder that outside of religion that there’s so much BS locked into people’s minds that concepts like facts, evidence, consistency, contradiction, and probability are irrelevant, and challenging information is rejected to preserve the feel good perspective.
On the other side I saw an article about Jaylen Rose responding to Phil Jackson. Jackson said the NBA went overboard in 2020 promoting social justice. He’s correct. For example, the Bucks and Magic refused to play a game because a man was lawfully shot by police officers. Jacob Blake was resisting arrest and grabbed a knife while an officer was trying to pull him away from it. Blake was in swinging distance of the officer and refused commands to drop the knife which qualifies him as an imminent threat of death or great bodily harm and that is a legal standard for the use of deadly force. Stupid people used it as an excuse to riot and burn buildings in Kenosha. Probably supported by BLM which the NBA was advertising in the bubble. A group that reported 84 million dollars in donations and not only hasn’t done anything to improve the lives of black people, but doesn’t even have any practical plans to make any improvements.
All the players had their favorite slogan on their jerseys. It was a clown show. It’s easy to know that the players have no real interest in these things outside of applying a slogan to their brand to attract consumers, because if they did they would understand the problems they claim to be against are not problems.
Stuck between groups obsessed with irrelevancy and willful ignorance, and the indifferent whose indifference is also a product of ignorance.
5/5/2023
(Withheld content) I have the original in its entirety so I mark it withheld content to know this entry has withheld material if I’m ever looking for it. This portion of the entry contains material that requires further explanation that I don’t feel like providing at the moment, and has been provided elsewhere.
I was walking out of Walmart and saw a young woman wearing a shirt that read fuck racism. My first thought when I saw the shirt was fuck poverty, and fuck being poor. This is because the promotion of things as a source of disadvantage that are not a source of disadvantage distracts from addressing those things that are a source of disadvantage. The greatest source of disadvantage is growing up in a low income household and being poor.
I’ve addressed popular misconceptions that support the idea that race is a source of disadvantage in this country. What it essentially boils down to is the difference in the proportion of black people who are poor compared to the proportion of white people who are poor, because anytime there is a disparity caused by income inequality, it will appear as a racial disparity because a greater proportion of black people are poor. Of course the vast majority of poor people in this country are white. Poor white people out number poor black people more than 2 to 1 nationally.
In the book Racial Perceptions I ask do black people have barriers to education, income opportunities, application of the law, or access to services public or private based on race? I addressed these questions by examining controversial uses of force by police. For race to be a motivating factor in treatment requires either something overt that shows the officer’s treatment of the suspect was motivated by race and not behavior; or the suspect was treated in a way white suspects were not when exhibiting similar behavior under similar circumstances. For example, George Floyd’s interaction with police was similar to Tony Timpa (first name might be wrong not checking the book for it) whose behavior was probably less resistive than George Floyd but was held down by officers and died.
Through the unemployment rate trend I demonstrated that discrimination does not exist in hiring and firing. During recessions when the unemployment rate increases, if there were discrimination the black unemployment rate would rise first and the white unemployment rate would lag behind as companies would fire black workers first in their preference for white workers. When growth and recovery begins the white unemployment rate would decrease first as employers exercised their preference for white workers. That isn’t what the trend shows. Unemployment rises and falls between races at about the same time and to the same degree as the economy goes up and down.
The black unemployment rate is higher overall because a greater proportion of black people begin poor which produces the racial disparity because poor people have fewer worthwhile opportunities than people born better off and there are developmental disadvantages of growing up in a poor household. If we compare the unemployment rate of white people who began in households of similar income as black people, the unemployment rate between those black and white people is likely to be similar.
I address a few studies in the book and discuss the formation of prejudice and a 4 day trip to court from Milwaukee to Sumpter County Florida, that highlights how easily one could assume that an action is based on race and not something else.
The people who wear those shirts are typically not concerned with the cause they’re promoting. Because when you’re concerned about something you try to understand the problem objectively. In doing so you would understand that your problem is not a problem, where race is not a barrier to things I mention. The barrier is the financial situation of the household you begin in. A greater proportion of black people are poor because of past systemic racism, but today there is no racism supported by or produced by political, economic, or social systems. Which isn’t to say there are no racist people, but it isn’t legally or socially acceptable and doesn’t have much impact on opportunity.
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I had a realization about the intention of the second amendment. Not anything that hasn’t already been established but based on something Joe Biden supposedly said. I don’t remember the quote exactly but it was a long the lines that the government has planes and bombs that renders resistance by force impossible. He’s making an argument against the second amendment, where people’s right to bear arms should be restricted because the military is too powerful. The right to bear arms is rooted in the fact that men with rifles can secure land. I’m not promoting the idea, just mentioning something that I think is relevant when considering what restrictions on arms are truly allowable based on the intent of the second amendment. Securing an area always comes down to men with rifles, therefore there should be no restrictions that interfere with people’s ability to accomplish that objective. A people’s ability to defend themselves from tyranny depends on their ability to secure land, and land is secured through men with rifles of comparable capabilities to any other rifles that exist.
As I have written before on many occasions and provided examples and evidence, gun control does not reduce mass killings, in casualty or event. Other weapons, and even none weapon objects have been proven as effective and more effective than semi automatic rifles in producing casualties. The problem is we live in a nation that has a lot of problems that produces people who want to hurt others indiscriminately. The democrats propose a solution that isn’t a solution to one, seem proactive in solving a serious threat of people randomly killing others, and two, to attack something that is important to their opponents, dividing the population, activating their base, and using the position as a tool to grow their base through a gun control campaign. Stupid people see gun control to stop mass killings and they’re satisfied with that conception of the issue. Then they can go look up irrelevant statistics devoid of context and say they’ve done research and think they know something.
Republicans cannot address the issue because it offends their nationalist biases. The United States is the greatest everything that can possibly be conceived, it cannot be producing indiscriminate mass killers. Those are anomalous, genetically mentally ill, born evil, or insert explanation that absolves responsibility of the United States political, economic, and social functioning.
Democrats market the pretext of security to people far too stupid to understand that limiting the implements through which one can kill others doesn’t prevent them from killing others or reduce their effectiveness in killing others. What it potentially does is limit the ability of law abiding citizens from defending themselves.
4/25/2023
I still haven’t received the money from the Airtaskers job I did. I called the bank and they said they hadn’t received it. Later I contacted Airtaskers and they confirmed that the transaction has been sent and I should have received it yesterday. They provided me a transaction ID number. 5 business days isn’t until tomorrow, but it’s concerning when you’re relying on that money.
I had two exchanges on YouTube that were interesting.
The second exchange was interesting because it demonstrated the inability of a person to comprehend the application of law to action.
The video showed the suspect being told to put his hands behind his back and was warned that if he did not comply he would be taken to the ground. The suspect was non-compliant and the officer picked him up and slammed him on the ground. The suspect suffered a skull fracture and may not have been the one responsible for the crime the officer was responding to. Most of the comments imply the officer is wrong. When I say most I mean all the comments I saw. The officer did not act malicious, unlawfully, or use an amount of force that can be considered excessive.
One person claimed the officers commands were not lawful because the suspect didn’t commit the crime.
The orders are lawful because the officer can detain the suspect while he is conducting an investigation based on reasonable suspicion. Reasonable suspicion is the reasonable belief that a crime has occurred, is occuring, or could occur based on the totality of the circumstances.
The officer was responding either late night or early morning to a call that a person matching the suspects description was trying to break into cars. There didn’t appear to be anyone else in the area. Based on the call to police that someone in the area was trying to break into cars, the suspect matching the description provided by the caller, and the absence of anyone else in the area it is reasonable to suspect that the suspect has committed a crime, and the officer has to investigate that reasonable suspicion.
The officer gives the suspect a lawful command to put his hands behind his back and informs him of the consequences of continued refusal to comply. The officer has to complete his investigation and wants to put him in restraints to prevent the suspect from running or for the officer’s protection. The officer has to use force to gain compliance.
Was the amount of force used intended to cause serious injury, could it be expected to cause serious injury, did it appear malicious, and was it more than what was necessary to gain compliance?
I don’t believe it was intended to inflict serious injury for the same reason I don’t believe it should be expected to cause a serious injury. In 99.9 plus percent of situations where an officer, or any person for that matter slams someone on the ground it does not result in a serious injury.
There’s no evidence of any malicious intent. The force appeared to be applied for the purpose of a lone officer on scene to gain control of the suspect and force compliance to conduct his investigation.
The officer was dutifully investigating the suspect based on a reasonable suspicion that the suspect may have committed a crime.
The suspect’s non-compliance gives the officer probable cause that a crime is occurring since the suspect is obstructing his investigation by not complying with restraints during detention.
The suspect’s actions necessitate the use of force to gain compliance.
The officer warns the suspect he will be taken to the ground and the suspect’s continued refusal causes the law enforcement officer to slam him to the ground which is a reasonable amount of force to gain compliance because the act typically does not result in serious injury.
This is what people need to understand, that the injury resulting from the use of force is not an indication of how much force was applied, it represents a lot of circumstances interacting to produce that outcome. In this situation it’s hard to see but the suspect presumably hit his head on the ground. The same technique applied 100 times probably does not produce that result which means the force used is not excessive despite the suspect being seriously injured.
The suspect is responsible for his injury. He assumed the risks associated with the use of force by necessitating that force be used by refusing to comply. Had he put his hands behind his back the officer probably would have leaned him on the car, searched his possessions, asked him some questions that he does not have to answer, except for his name because he is required to identify himself, and if he didn’t find anything he’d have to let him go.
Years ago I was slammed off a step by the Cudahay, WI police department. We were involved in an altercation with a group of people who were having a party at the end of the block. Police were called and a woman from their party came with us. They told the police we kidnapped her and we’re holding her against her will.
We didn’t want to come out because a bunch of us just beat the shit out of a bunch of them, and some of us had warrants. The woman called police and said she wasn’t being held against her will but they said they needed her to come out because they didn’t know if she was being coerced over the phone. For whatever reason, she didn’t want to go outside and people generally felt like the police didn’t have the authority to force entry.
Having been in houses where police have forced entry you can see the signs that they’re coming in. My friend lived on the second floor. When the police were not by the door me and another person decided to go outside. I don’t like to be put face down with a rifle pointed at me and potentially a boot on my neck risking becoming an accident when I can avoid it.
I walk down the stairs smoking a cigarette and step out onto to the outside steps real nonchalantly, with two officers in front of me like I’m in the huddle. 😂. He told me to put my cigarette out. I went to take one more pull from the cigarette and he smacked it out of my hand as I brought it to my mouth, and the other officer picked me up and slammed me on the ground.
If people saw that and I was injured they’d say I didn’t have time to comply with the command but the act of bringing my cigarette back to my mouth was refusal to comply with a lawful command, and justified the use of force to gain compliance, especially since I was likely involved in the battery of people nearby and I’m coming out of a house where allegedly someone was taken to and held against their will.
There have also been incidents where force has been applied unlawfully, I was pepper sprayed in handcuffs after resisting and I was kicked in my chest on another occasion while seated and handcuffed. There was no justification for those uses of force but harm was insignificant and it doesn’t represent how most police conduct themselves.
He mentioned that the resisting charges were dropped against the suspect and the deputy was fired a month later. That point isn’t a challenge to my interpretation of the event, and probably is more indicative of how law enforcement agencies have become inclined to bend to the will of public opinion based on how something appears instead of being willing to stand for what is. Lawful use of force and an amount of force that did not exceed what was required to gain compliance based on the elements of the act I mentioned
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The first exchange was over my understanding that Giannis could have played games 2 and 3, and had he played maybe they wouldn’t be on the brink of being eliminated from the playoffs down 3 to 1 by the heat. I’m extremely disappointed. I’m very invested in the team as a fan of the sport as well as in Giannis because they’ve been so good and thought they could be great, especially after Giannis carried the team to a 7 game series after Middleton was injured against the Bulls round one last year. It was obvious with Middleton healthy the Bucks were set to win their second chip of the Giannis era. Middleton hasn’t been healthy all year, only coming into something resembling his former self the last few games of the season. They were so clutch in the playoffs and regular season when they won the title. This year they’ve failed in key moments, consistently beat bad and mediocre teams, but struggled seemingly more often than not against good teams. Suffered a few dramatic blow outs as well, and had periods where they either fell apart defensively or couldn’t score buckets to disrupt other teams runs. Philly dropped 49 on the Bucks in the 4th quarter. Moments like that are concerning.
I was told there was no reason not to believe that his injury was preventing him from playing. There actually is a reason, and that reason being the nature of his injury. He has a bruised back which is broken blood vessels in his muscle or bone. It might hurt but it doesn’t prevent motion, and there’s no risk of sustaining a greater injury by playing through the pain. Not to mention he didn’t leave the game right away, and had a layup showing he could still play effectively with a bruised back. I just can’t imagine Jordan or Kobe sitting out of a playoff game because of a bruised back.
4/29/2023
Ill probably attach something to this but there’s a few insights I left as comments that I wanted to chronicle, and an update on a previous exchange that is interesting but troubling.
In the previous entry I wrote about a comment exchange I had about an incident where an officer was required to use force. A person left a comment claiming an officer can only use restraints when transporting a suspect, if there is a search warrant, or for officer safety, while claiming a suspect cannot be cuffed during investigative detention. His premise is since the officer has no reason to cuff him he wasn’t being non-compliant because the command to put his hands behind his back wasn’t a lawful order.
If the officer has a reason to believe the suspect could become violent or run restraints can be used during investigative detention. Of course the video starts 10 seconds prior to the use of force so we can’t even speculate as to what the officers reasons were to believe the suspect may run or become violent, but the reasons may be based on the experience of the officer and not recognized by a casual observer. I left case law references within the comment and a website.
The case law is excerpted from explanations from Brown v. Lewis (6th cir. 2/26/2015) and establishes the standard for when a suspect can be handcuffed during an investigative stop. When a suspect possesses a weapon, or there is something that indicates the suspect may become violent or may run.
“We have held, for example, that securing a detainee is justified when he admits to having a weapon and is agitated. O’Malley v. City of Flint, 652 F.3d 662, 670–71 (6th Cir.2011) (handcuffing a detainee did not ripen stop into an arrest because the detainee “was angry, raised his voice, turned his back and lifted his shirt, called [officer’s] inquiry ‘bulls—t,’ “ and admitted that he had a gun in vehicle); see also Radvansky v. City of Olmsted Falls, 395 F.3d 291, 309 (6th Cir.2005) (detainee said he was armed with stun gun). Sometimes, an unarmed detainee may display aggressive or erratic behavior during the stop that gives rise to a reasonable belief of dangerousness. United States v. Atchley, 474 F.3d 840, 849 (6th Cir.2007) (handcuffing a detainee did not ripen stop into arrest because of detainee’s nervous behavior). Similarly, an attempt to flee could justify the use of handcuffs or another form of detention to prevent additional flight during the investigatory stop. United States v. Jacob, 377 F.3d 573, 579–80 (6th Cir.2004) (car containing suspected drug traffickers lurched forward as if to flee after police had cornered it in parking lot).”
When I went back to retrieve the references I used my comment was gone, probably flagged because I included the website link below. A very concise and thorough resource for understanding when restraints may be used during investigative detention.
The main point is did this guy just make up that restraints can’t be used during investigative detention? Did he get it from a website and they made it up?
Secondly, the reasons an officer can use to justify restraints are very broad. If the suspect is looking around this can be interpreted as the suspect looking for an escape route. A suspect making too much eye contact or no eye contact during a conversation is an indication that the suspect may become violent. There is such a wide variety of subtle actions that are acceptable reasons for an officer to believe that a suspect could become violent or run that any officer during an investigative stop can have a reason to put a suspect in handcuffs. It essentially means that a suspect can be handcuffed during an investigative stop, but more importantly, a suspect should not dispute that an officer has a valid reason for using handcuffs and should assume that the order is lawful and dispute it after compliance.
Content Withheld
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There was a poll about the drinking age being lowered to 18, and anywhere you have this conversation there are people who say if a person is old enough to die in war they should be old enough to drink. It is the stupidest comparison of unlike things to argue for one with the other.
A person can be an age where they can decide to risk their life, physically capable of training and mentally capable of following orders to be an effective soldier, and not be an age where they are capable of handling an intoxicant.
First element is behavior where they’re less likely to be able to act responsibly while under the influence.
The second element is priority. The younger a person is the more susceptible they are to developing dependency. If alcohol is the best thing a person has experienced an 18 year old is more likely to start drinking everyday as opposed to a person at 21 who has probably at least some responsibilities by that time.
The third element is development. A person who is 18 is physiologically less developed than a person who is 21. There’s a risk in harming development.
I addressed that argument. Some people say that young people are going to drink anyway. This is true. I was about 12 the first two times I was drunk and I drank pretty heavily and regularly between the ages of 16 to 24. I was also incarcerated a lot during that period, in and out, serving 6 years between the ages of 14 to 24, 1996 to 2006. I understand that just because there is an age restriction it doesn’t mean young people are not going to drink.
What it does do is serve as a deterrent for some young people and put an impediment between young people and the product. There will ultimately be fewer people aged 18 to 20 who will not drink if the drinking age is 21 as opposed to 18.
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The Bucks lost to the Heat in the first round of the playoffs. As a fan of the Bucks and Giannis it does not feel good since the Bucks have been at least one of the favorites to win the title all year. To add insult to injury, when Giannis was asked if he felt like the season was a failure he became angry at the reporter, made an analogy that if the reporter didn’t receive a promotion every year was that a failure? Then he said that there are steps to success and didn’t believe the season was a failure. .
I stated that this is the biggest 1st round upset in NBA history. I back tracked momentarily when someone brought up the 07 Mavs who were a 67 win team who lost in the first round to a golden State team without any superstars. I reversed course when considering all the elements.
2 years ago the Bucks won the title with most of the players they have today, the core, Giannis, Middleton, Jrue, Brook, and Bobby Portis, as well as some role players. The biggest piece they lost was agitator and defensive presence PJ Tucker, but they’ve made some solid additions with Grayson Allen among others. Last season Middleton was injured in the first round against the Bulls. In the second round despite being without their second best scorer in Middleton, Giannis had an unprecedented (only player to score 200 points, and have 100 rebounds, and 50 assists in a playoff series) series performance taking the Celtics who would win the East to a 7 game series. It was a foregone conclusion that had Middleton remained healthy the Bucks probably beat the Celtics and win back to back titles.
Moving into this season the Bucks seemed poised to win the title. They had the best record in the league, longest win streak of the season, Giannis finished top 3 in MVP voting, Brook Lopez finished top 3 in DPOY voting, and Bobby Portis finished top 3 in 6thMOY voting. I don’t think any team in NBA history has had 3 players finish in the top 3 for those individual awards.
Miami struggled to score all year and the Bucks have been top 5 defensively all year. Miami almost missed the playoffs losing to the Hawks, and barely beating the Bulls to get the 8th seed.
In the first game of the series against Miami Giannis took a hard fall and bruised his back. He continued to play and even scored a layup while in the game after the injury before coming out. He had a bruised back which does not physically impact his ability to play. He sat out for the next two games. The Bucks won game 2 without Giannis but lost game 3 without him. Then Jimmy Butler took over game 4 in the first and fourth quarter and they lost game 4. The Bucks season ended in game 5 where Butler hit a controversial clutch shot to send the game into OT and the Bucks lost in OT.
The background is important because Giannis is trying to call this upset a learning experience, or a step to success. The year before they won the title they lost in the Eastern Conference Finals to Toronto. That was a failure that was a step to success. Last season wasn’t a failure it was unfortunate circumstance where the guy who was supposed to dry the floor didn’t do his job, and Middleton slipped and had a serious knee injury. And despite that injury the Bucks went 7 games. When you’re a team who is becoming competitive for a title a post season loss can be learning experience. When you’ve won a title and you’re the best team in the league with the best player in the league there are no more learning experiences, because you know what it takes to get there and win.
This doesn’t mean you win the title every year. But you don’t get knocked out in the first round in an uncompetitive fashion. If the Bucks would have made it to the ECF and had a supposed easy route to get there, and then lost to Philly or Boston in a competitive series that is not a failure. Top team against a top team can go either way in a 7 game series. But losing 4 to 1 against an 8th seed who lost in the play in tournament, and was almost eliminated from the playoffs, is a failure.
Apologize to the fans you disappointed, who argued about your greatness that didn’t expect to be embarrassed. Talk about how disappointed you are in yourself, maybe about Butler’s extraordinary performance, or how you couldn’t hit enough free throws to put the game out of reach. Don’t say something that is clearly a failure is not a failure when there is no objective basis for calling this season a success. The season feels worse because of Giannis’ statements. Feels worse also in recognizing that Giannis is not as committed to the game as he pretends to be, sitting out with a bruised back. Kobe and MJ are not sitting out in the playoffs with an injury that doesn’t physically prevent them from playing and can’t lead to further injury playing through it.
It’s a long off-season. The Bucks took away my belief in them. A belief they built by living up to and exceeding expectations, and making plays in key moments. Next season they can win 70 games and I’ll still be concerned about them come playoff time because of this performance. Coach Bud as a head coach has had 3 teams achieve the best record in the NBA, once with the Hawks, twice with the Bucks. The Hawks were bounced in the Semis, the Bucks bounced in the ECF, and the Bucks bounced in the first round. It’s hard not to look at coaching when you take championship team and can’t make adjustments to get them through the first round
Makes me a Suns fan for the remainder of the playoffs. Like to Sun’s Celtics or Suns Heat. Basketball is the only sport I’m emotionally invested in. I Iike MMA and boxing but there isn’t the same build up of season, playoffs and championship. I’ve become a casual NFL fan, used to be more invested back when Favre was playing but after he retired and the game began to change, and the players became less passionate about the game my fandom was reduced to casual following of the sport.
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After my job in Terra Haute I went to Effingham because I was almost out of marijuana. Given my circumstances it is an essential item for survival at this point. I was monitoring CL gigs and Airtaskers in St. Louis, Chicago, and Indianapolis. I spent a few days there and probably should have left before I did.
I was counting on the money from the last Airtaskers job to hit my account but there was a problem with the transfer. I’ve had problems previously trying to transfer money into and out of my business account. The money was sent back to Airtaskers and Airtaskers sent it again before I could change the account.
I got on the freeway going the wrong way by mistake. The Effingham entry to 57/70 is a little goofy. East/North is on the same side as West/South. I was initially headed towards St. Louis. I consider continuing onto St. Louis but I’ve had some issues there in the past.
Almost got into it for someone trying to skip me in line at a gas station, had an argument in a fast food drive through, and had to address a person staring at me at a rest area. The last incident may have just been me looking up when a guy was looking at me and then maintaining our gazes. He was walking to throw something away and was staring at me the whole way while I was in my car. When I got out a little while later I looked to see if he was mugging me again from his car and he was. So I had to ask him why he was mugging me, and explained he was staring at me the whole time he was walking to the garbage and so on and so forth. He said he didn’t have a problem with me. Things like that can escalate quickly. For me, in some of those situations I need to know what’s going on because I don’t want to wonder why this mother fucker mugging me if I notice it. The point being is unless there is a prospect for something, work, money, promotion, product, etc, I’d rather not go to a place with a greater probability of me getting into with people because I know how quickly things can go from bad to worse, and it also isn’t good for my mood.
I turned around and went elsewhere. Had two near incidents in Effingham at two different rest areas. First was a truck parked with his lights shining in my car. I waited a minute and when the lights stayed on I put my shoes on to figure out why this dude didn’t have any common sense courtesy. As I opened my door he pulled off. The second incident was similar to the first where I was parked and another pick up truck with a trailer did the same thing. The lights went off after about a minute. Then a few minutes later the lights came on again. I put my shoes on and noted how the rest of the lot was empty. This dude chose to park in a spot where he could harass me with his lights. I got out of my car and walked towards his truck but when I looked in the truck I didn’t see anyone. I presumed he may have went in his camper trailer. With no one to confront I went back to my car and shortly afterwards he pulled off. He must have been laying down in the truck when I approached it.
I went a different direction. I don’t like to make my location known in real time. I arrived at the new area with about $70 and no prospect of receiving the $164 from Air Taskers before the first of the month when my cell phone bill and webhosting bill were due. I was worried I was going to have to pawn one of my rings. I was writing an entry chronicling my concerns when I found a truck unloading job on CL. That was clutch. Provided me enough to pay my bills which was my primary concern. Without my phone I can’t find any work to keep this sinking ship afloat, and I also cannot lose my websites.
The following day there was a moving job but I was too far away to make it in time. He offered work for today which I accepted but he never got back to me with the address. I followed up with him last night but there was no response so I presume he had all the people he needed. I’m still desperate hoping to find gigs, after food and gas I’m down to $62, and I only have a quarter tank. Hopefully that Airtaskers money will hit early next week and I’ll find a few gigs to provide me with some security.
4/30/2023
Samuel Strings Exchange, see Supremacy of Bias: Understanding Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, chapter Nationalist Bias.
5/6/2023
I got something out of nothing. There was a meme on the ChubbyEmu channel showing the Wizard of Oz snow scene, with different faces beneath it and the words: those who don’t know and those who know. I didn’t know but learned from the comments that the snow was asbestos. An example of why people should be critical of common knowledge, since at the time it was common knowledge that asbestos is not harmful.
Only half a parallel since even a critical examination of the idea wouldn’t reveal that asbestos causes cancer. What I got came from another comment. Someone commented that the silver paint poisoned the tin man. I don’t remember the source, but I thought I remembered that the paint had lead in it and he had lead poisoning. Someone replied to my comment implying that I was right. I replied that I didn’t care enough about the subject to Google it and spend 2 minutes researching it.
Then a person commented that they read in Time that it was aluminum dust in the paint that was toxic. At that point I looked it up and the first article was from time and then there were others featuring questions I was interested in, mainly, how did the aluminum dust harm him. Turns out it caused his lungs to shut down but he didn’t have any long-term problems because of this.
The interesting point is, I didn’t care enough about the subject to find out if I was right or wrong in what I remembered about the tin man’s make up, but after someone proposed another explanation I looked up the event. Did the subject gain value in the span of a few minutes? Of course not. The object of value was reconciling the inconsistency between what I thought was correct and what seemed more correct based on his reference to a source. The value of the subject didn’t change, the objective changed from knowing something that seems unimportant, to creating consistency between objects where there were multiple plausible assignments for cause, producing the effect of the tin man’s poisoning.
It’s a good example of how assignment, sequencing, and comparison works.
The initial comment was motivated by a feeling associated with disputing a contradiction, silver paint versus lead paint producing an actor’s illness. The subject didn’t have enough value for me to put forth the energy to research the subject. I also wasn’t confident that my sequence, lead paint producing lead poisoning, was any more correct than silver paint. I asked: I thought he got lead poisoning from lead based paint?
I received the reply “I believe that is the case”.
I replied I don’t care enough about the subject to Google it and spend 2 minutes researching it”.
This was motivated by a feeling associated with honesty, where I didn’t want his belief to be construed as evidence, and wanted to make it known that I didn’t see it as such.
When I first saw the comment in my notifications I said fuck, now got to look it up. I began to write that as a response but figured since I was going to look it up anyway, I decided not to reply with my instant reaction which probably wouldn’t have been understood in the comedic exasperation that was the intent. It was subtly funny to me that I was put in a position to do something that I initially didn’t want to do. More accurately, he forced value onto the act by supplying another explanation. The act of looking up the seemingly useless information gained value through the desire to reconcile the variables of the sequence, where the tin man was poisoned by silver paint, lead paint, or aluminum dust.
I could feel the reason why I wanted to look it up, because it created a seemingly irrelevant inconsistency that produced a negative feeling producing the objective of solving for it, which is a positive feeling through the elimination of the negative feeling. Subtle, but motivating.
There are two biases that could have prevented this from going any further. The first would be if I wanted the lead poisoning from lead paint explanation to be true. I can ignore his comment, never fact check it, and proceed in life with my lead paint belief intact.
The second bias would be if I was committed to the position that the subject isn’t important enough to know. If that were the case, I may have just accepted that he read there was aluminum dust in the paint and left it at that, or carried all three explanations if the subject ever came up again, not completely confident in any of them.
We’ll go through this event using assignment, sequencing, and comparison.
The first element of the decision making process is circumstances.
Circumstances: I was scrolling through my YouTube feed and saw the meme.
It was from a creator who is a doctor that narrates ER cases. The cases are interesting because it informs on health hazards, as well as how these hazards interact with the body chemically down to the cellular and molecular levels. My appreciation or like of his content probably played a role in directing my attention to the meme and deciding to read it.
NOTE The word value refers to level of feelings. In the first sentence of the next paragraph for example it could read the anticipated feelings from reading the meme, but the word value is used because value is the determination that’s being made but the value of an act is measured in the anticipated feelings the act will produce.
Comparison 1: the anticipated value of reading the meme versus all other perceived objectives in that moment. The first comparison is the value of reading the meme versus all other objectives within those circumstances.
Comparison 2: The anticipated value versus the energy required to read the meme. The second comparison is the energy required versus the anticipated feelings that the objective will produce.
Non-applicable Comparisons: other comparisons are probability of consequence and severity of consequence. If the probability of a consequence is low, the severity may not be considered. If the probability is high the consequence will be considered by comparing the anticipated value of the objective to other objectives that are harmed by the consequence, but influenced by the degree that the consequence harms those other objectives. This processing is evident in thoughts and feelings related to the objective, the consequence, and the objectives that the consequence applies to. You’ll think about the objective and there are feelings attached to those thoughts, and then you may think about the consequence and there are feelings attached to those thoughts, and a person may go back and forth thinking and feeling before a decision is made. These thoughts can be colored by the value of the objective, where if a person really wants something (anticipated feelings associated with the object are great) they’ll think more about probability trying to reduce the possibility of the consequence occurring. This is all sequencing, the assembly of known objects in cause and effect geared towards producing the desired outcome or objective.
The other non-applicable comparison is morality since the act of reading the meme has no moral implications, because it doesn’t interfere with anyone’s liberty. Otherwise the comparison is the value of the objective weighed against the anticipated loss of self worth which will have its own thoughts and feelings weighed against the thoughts and feelings of the objective.
A person isn’t typically aware that information is being processed like this, but as I stated, it’s evident through thoughts, feelings, and decision making.
How do we know that in the moment reading the meme was my highest valued objective and worth the energy? Because I read the meme.
Circumstances: After reading the meme I discovered there was something about the picture I didn’t know.
The objective: Read the comments to find out what the people who know, know about the picture, to identify the object in the picture.
The objective takes shape as a response to reading the meme, where I think to read the comments to understand the meaning of the meme. Not purely as internal dialogue, also through picture and feeling where I understand that’s what I’m going to do and set off on the objective. In a moment, an impression of meaning and intent.
Comparison 1: The value of the objective versus other perceived opportunities in the moment. The objective gains value and priority since my attention is on the subject and I have become invested in it.
Comparison 2: The value of the objective reading the comments versus the energy required. There’s no conscious features of this comparison at the time of the decision, but if the energy was of any consequence there may have been. Also, time is not considered even when time is a legitimate reason not to do something, because time is essentially a comparison between one objective and another. If you have 15 minutes to get to work on time and it takes 15 minutes to get there a person may think they don’t have time but it’s really the value of the coffee versus the value of not being late. Although for most people, the coffee probably wins out.
I’m skipping my initial comment pertaining to the danger of common knowledge because it isn’t relevant to additional aspects of ASC that haven’t been covered.
Circumstances: I see the comment about silver paint harming the actor who played the tin man. This triggers the recognition of a contradiction in a sequence, producing the thought, the impression of a memory that the actor who played the tin man was poisoned from lead in the paint.
Current Object Sequence : tin man actor, effect poisoning, cause lead paint.
New Object Sequence: tin man actor, effect poisoning, cause silver paint.
Objective: Propose the cause left by the impression of a forgotten memory that lead and not silver was responsible for the actor’s sickness.
Note: We know the subconscious comparisons between immediate objectives and energy. I’m not going to continue to rewrite what by now should be known.
Circumstances: Someone comments that they believe my answer was correct.
Objective: To dismiss the commenters’ belief. The value of this objective was probably rooted in morality, believing it wrong for his opinion to serve as evidence for a position when it was not, and also revealing that despite it being an easy controversy to settle, that the objective didn’t seem worth the energy.
Circumstances: I’m notified that another commenter replied that he read in Time that the sickness was caused by aluminum dust. Now there are three proposed causes for the actor becoming sick, and the new one seems to be the most probable.
Objective: to find out why the actor became sick, the value of which is not derived from the knowledge itself but relief from the feelings created through multiple proposed causes.
This is a rough application of Assignment, Sequencing, and Comparison. The conscious mind acknowledges what is known and being processed subconsciously to make decisions. Value can always be traced to action, but it requires examination of thoughts feelings, and what an individual knows, to understand objectives and the comparisons taking place.
I included the screenshots to establish the event and chronology for what it’s worth in showing that this happened, and then I recognized how the appearance of contradiction was the changing of value between objectives in looking up the information. Getting into that, I began to retrace the points of action through ASC. After the screenshots there are a few more paragraphs on a recent controversy with Liberty and an effort to address some potential misconceptions.
5/15/2023
It’s unlikely that any improvements are forthcoming. I’ve spent the last week contenting myself with comment exchanges in a philosophy group on FB. There were a few exchanges that were different than most. Exchanges where people were able to understand the points being made. That’s rare, and the reason why participation in those exchanges were contenting.
It created some brief optimism. Maybe I learned a lesson in an exchange with a person I should not have been exchanging comments with. I shouldn’t have been exchanging comments with the person because it was clear she didn’t really understand what was being said. With this perception I tried to adjust arguments to cater to her level of comprehension. Thankfully, they blocked me or deleted the exchange.
The most troubling assertion the person made was that truth is subjective. Truth is not subjective. If a person throws a rock in the water that is what happend. It’s true through observation. There’s nothing subjective about it. That’s the unfortunate thing about the state of human affairs, human beings believe they can choose what is true based on how it causes them to feel and so reality becomes subjective. We should be subjective beings living in an objective reality, instead we have subjective beings living in subjective realities, which limits intelligence, and prevents communication by preventing the establishment of fact.
In another exchange I addressed the assertion that piety has no value. As I understand the word to mean someone who strictly adheres to their beliefs I point out that the value of piety is the wellbeing of the pious person. Adherence to beliefs produces positive feelings through the reinforcement of self worth as a person’s opinion of themselves improves through the evidence of their perceived right actions. Then there may be value to the public depending on the behavior a person’s beliefs produce.
The most satisfying exchange was a difference in opinion about self deception. It began with the comment that people do bad things based on false beliefs that cause them to believe that the bad things are good. They’re not absolved from responsibility because they choose to believe things that are false based on the benefit the false belief provides. In the exchange the participant claimed the Nazis were not evil they were just acting on bad information. I responded that they only accepted the information because it was beneficial for them to believe it.
The commenter argued that although many people are responsible for their bad beliefs some people are not. I disagreed because the adoption and maintenance of bad beliefs stems from some benefit to the individual from the bad beliefs that produce the bad results. It was a good exchange because we acknowledge one another points going back and forth, and each reply proceeds from the previous reply, even in instances where the commenter replied multiple times before I had the chance to address his previous reply, it proceeded from a point I made or he was expanding on a point he made. Very rare occurrence, actual communication. (See Supremacy of Bias: Understanding Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, Chapter Non-Bias Example)
I was frustrated by another commenter who initially seemed unable to understand and I thought he was just being antagonizing. It turned out that he did understand but it took an example for him to understand that his assertion was wrong.
He claimed that well being was the foundation of liberty as the basis for objective morality. The reasoning became that liberty based morality facilitates the fulfillment of desire, the fulfillment of desire produces positive feelings, and well being describes a state where a person has more positive feelings than negative feelings, or the height of the positives is greater than the depth of the negative feelings.
The problem we were having was that wellbeing or the concern for the well being of others 1: didn’t motivate the discovery of liberty as the basis, 2: the application of liberty based morality doesn’t require concern for well being, and 3: well being describes a state not moral principles. 4: well being as a moral principle whether prioritizing personal well being or prioritizing the well being of others, doesn’t maximize well being, and provides no information concerning how to behave when someone is behaving immorally. 5: Morality is essentially the answer to the question whose well being should be prioritized based on the circumstances, and well being does not provide an answer to that question that creates the highest potential for well being.
The well-being of one can and often does occur through the compromising of the well being of the other. He was very clever in pointing out that liberty as the basis ensures that the well being of one does not take away the wellbeing of another. This is true, but it doesn’t make well being the foundation of liberty based morality because well being is not informing morality.
I provided an example when I was at the gym in the locker room. There were loud teenagers talking about a protein shake tasting like butthole, and talking shit to one another. It annoyed me and probably others. In the moment I’m considering the situation because anytime something bothers a person a subconscious objective will be created to produce a positive feeling through the address of what is producing a negative feeling. My thoughts were not related to my well being is more important than their well being so I should address their behavior, and my thoughts also were not that their well-being was more important than mine, so I should be quiet. My thoughts pertained to being young and enjoying myself with others in ways that probably annoyed others. Relevant in knowing that the intentions of the behavior were rooted in the general satisfaction they experienced from it, not in the intent to bother others. Secondly, their behavior was not objectively imposing on anyone so their behavior is morally right. Well being plays no role in informing a moral decision.
I may have stated in the exchange that I didn’t care about people’s well being, and this is true in the context of morality. Obviously I do care evident by how it motivates some of my personal behavior, or can be seen as motivating some of my behavior. (See Supremacy of Bias: Understanding Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, Chapter Well Being Bias)
In a previous entry I reference an exchange in another group where I was asked to provide proof that people had desire. In this philosophy group I had another exchange with a person who somehow seemed to only half comprehend the content, but somehow was also smart enough not to state an objection. Eventually, she tried to retreat to what evidence do you have that people have desire? The evidence being every conscious act is produced by desire.
It doesn’t matter if human beings have desire because liberty facilitates the greatest expression of subjective value by only prohibiting acts that prevent other acts, so whether you’re doing it by desire or some other unknown mechanism, it still creates the most opportunities for movement. If they’re asking for evidence of desire, they’re asking because they don’t understand what’s in front of them and this is a way to avoid learning something from someone who they’ve never heard of.
Very good exchange from the political group that I’ve copied over here. Seemed worth posting since the people responding prove my point in that there are very few examples of police malfeasance, and the examples being promoted are not examples according to the law.
See Supremacy of Bias Understanding Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, Chapter Anti-Police Bias
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In this exchange Charles Day, the poster wrote that he didn’t see why conservatives had a problem with drag queens reading books to children. I conflated drag queen with trans mainly because I thought that was what he was referencing and because most conservatives conflate the two. Essentially, it’s the same costume, one likes to wear it and the other wants to be it. I probably wouldn’t have posted this, but in this exchange the poster provided a study of metadata claiming the regret rate for trans people was only 1 percent. I’m posting this exchange because I addressed the methodology of his source.
The second discovery is much more significant. Historical data shows that over 80 percent of children who identify as trans and those with trans proclivities do not carry them with them into adulthood. I address the criticism by protrans academics who mention that just because children behave how trans children behave does not mean they were trans. To me this is because they were not taught gender identity concepts, otherwise if they already liked those things they would identify and then abandon the identification when it no longer served their purposes.
The main reason I’m posting this exchange is a conclusion that can be drawn from the second criticism of using historical data to measure children changing their gender values. The further back we go the less socially acceptable transgenderism was. If gender identity is important, people wouldn’t be persuaded by social acceptance. If it’s important the children from these periods would have continued in the gender they identified as. Social acceptance is more important than gender identity. Which is interesting because there are so many other characteristics of identity that are more important than social acceptance.
His first response to me mentions that we got off on the wrong foot. I’m not a Trump supporter but I also don’t see him as any worse than any of the others, they all lie and push for policy that appears popular but is actually remuneration for industrial investment. With some on the margins sucking up 6 figure salaries recycling the same rhetoric and doing nothing election after election. Point is I’m not for Trump, but also definitely not for Biden.
He had a response to a post claiming that Trump was a convicted sex offender found guilty by a jury. This is false, he was found liable for battery and defamation in civil proceedings, different standard. Preponderance meaning more likely than not in civil proceedings, and beyond a reasonable doubt in criminal proceedings. He wasn’t found to be liable for a sex crime, much less convicted. He’s referencing that exchange when he says we got off on the wrong foot.
Orion Simerl: Some people may have issues with trans people reading books to children because it normalizes the trans lifestyle to children which may be encouraging to some children. I don’t have a problem with trans people reading books to children, and I don’t have a problem with the normalization or tolerance promotion to children. If someone asks why they do it, it’s pretty apparent to me that if a child has a normal interaction with a trans person, the experience will cause them to be more accepting of trans people throughout the course of their life.
I also think trans people reading books to children as a source of controversy is propaganda. Information with a bias intent on undermining legitimate grievances against the trans agenda, by directing attention to this benign act, and the minority of people who have a problem with the act.
The issue I have with the trans agenda is the teaching of gender identity which is false. It teaches that some boys are really girls and some girls are really boys. There’s no genetic basis for this assertion. Some people develop values associated with the opposite sex. A boy may like boys, dresses, make-up, feminine mannerisms, and other things that girls like. There’s nothing wrong with that boy expressing those values. It isn’t because they’re really a girl born a boy, it’s that they’re a boy who likes the things that girls like. Even on the face of it, how can a boy say he feels like he’s a girl when he has no way of knowing what a girl feels like? At most he feels like what he thinks a girl feels like.
There are a few different problems here. 1st, many children have difficult times growing up. They’re provided an explanation that maybe their social problems and other problems are because they’re really trans. For a child it creates an opportunity for additional attention, social opportunities, group belonging, identity, and other benefits that come from being part of a group perceived by some as being disadvantaged. Presenting this false gender identity concept has the potential to seriously harm the development of children. Ironically enough, this group whose motto is pride doesn’t have enough pride to say I’m doing what I like, so they created this narrative that this is what I am. What I am as opposed to who I am and what I like. The first is incorrect and the second is accurate. The first one is shame, and the second is pride.
Beyond teaching children the false gender identity concept is the refusal to acknowledge places where biological gender distinctions are important such as women’s sports.
Although I don’t agree with many of the conservative efforts to limit the liberty of trans people, like in Tennessee where I understand they effectively banned drag shows, or Oklahoma where trans healthcare is only available after age 24, a lot of this is push back against trans efforts to completely eliminate biological gender distinctions. I do support prohibiting children under the age of 18 and maybe even to 21 from transitioning medically.
Christopher Day: so…first of all, I want to say that…I think that we got off on the wrong foot, and contrary to what you may have (or currently think) thought about who I am or my views, I’m actually interested in an open discussion and actually understanding how things work. I obviously know nothing about you but you seem like a very intelligent and educated person.
So. You actually make some really excellent points. I’d like to explore something that you said, because I have a similar thought. As a matter of fact, I’m going to be traveling with a dear friend of mine who I work with and I would like to discuss this very issue. We can have very raw and open conversations. To tell you the truth, I have always been so curious about transgenenderism. I can in no way relate, and I feel like that is part of my curiosity. To understand.
Anyway, this is the part that I’d like to engage you with. “”They’re provided an explanation that maybe their social problems and other problems are because they’re really trans. For a child it creates an opportunity, for additional attention, social opportunities, group belonging, identity, and other benefits that come from being part of a group perceived by some as being disadvantaged. Presenting this false gender identity concept has the potential to seriously harm the development of children.” This is valid.
Do you have evidence to show that this actually happens. I’m not being provocative. I’m trying to understand and also think about how we can minimize this and maximize the benefits.
Orion Simerl: There is a wealth of indirect evidence that children change their interests and behavior for attention, social opportunities, group belonging and to establish identities. I don’t know how well this has been researched as motivation for children becoming trans based on those reasons but I should probably look for the studies.
The assertion grows from the reasoning that children have those objectives and the promotion of gender identity creates an opportunity for those objectives.
Here’s a NY Post article, and although I would agree the publication definitely isn’t non-biased, this article features the accounts of people who transitioned as children, detransitioned, and provide explanations for their decision that support the assertions I made that you quoted.
Christopher Day: Metadata isn’t the gold standard, because it doesn’t necessarily take into account the “purpose” of the study, or exactly what they were evaluating, but it is a valid technique. Based on this, the “regret” is 1% or less after transitioning.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8099405/
Orion Simerl: This is a study that consists almost exclusively of adults who have had surgery. Cherry picked from a bad batch according to the methodology disclosure. Beginning with 74 studies and two records then they read titles and abstracts and selected 39. Out of that 39 they only used 27 and did not disclose what the basis was for the second selection.
They stated the NIH rated the studies they used ranging from poor to fair.
Respondents gave their answer to regret between .8 (about 10 months) and 9 years after their operations. The longer you wait the more opportunity there is for regret to develop. If most of the studies were nearer to the 10 month time than the 9 year time then it will show less regret. It’s also a clear indication of bias where you would expect objective researchers to know this and only use data responses that come from people who have had an adequate amount of time to settle into their environment with their physical changes.
I see it as a pretty poor study, the conclusions of which are not really relevant to the controversy, because I’m talking about children not adults. A child transitioning medically may have a much different regret rate than adults. Which is something I clearly believe is true based on my support of the prohibition of trans medical treatment until the age of 18 to 21. There are studies that show 80 percent of children who believe they’re trans as children do not remain that way as adults.
There are trans promotional academics who criticize the studies I’m referencing, and some of the criticism is legitimate in that historical studies contain data from times when there was less social acceptance, that may have persuaded children to abandon those tendencies, which really speaks to the depth of the identity.
If we consider the fact that about 50 years ago trans people did not exist publicly in any meaningful numbers, it demonstrates how many people valued social acceptance more than gender identity. That’s something worth remembering, since psychologists claim that gender identity is important. It clearly wasn’t more important than social acceptance. If gender identity was more important, trans genderism would have been more popular at other times, more important than the conflict it would create in less accepting times. It proves that gender identity isn’t very important, at least not worth the stigma, otherwise if it is important the true prevalence is the historical average.
The trans promotional researcher also tries to downplay the significance of children who had female values, wore dresses, played with dolls, or was attracted to the same sex, but didn’t have the full gender identity indoctrination to properly articulate gender dysphoria.
https://www.kqed.org/futureofyou/441784/the-controversial-research-on-desistance-in-transgender-youth
5/21/2023
If you’ve read my material, I’ve repeatedly stated that people have authority based thinking structures. I’ve said exactly, that people have strong opinions about subjects they do not understand. That people believe facts are chosen not observed, and facts are most often chosen by feeling. While I’ve demonstrated these things in other recorded exchanges, this example is immaculate. The woman is saying she accepts the opinions of others as fact, and doesn’t see how that is unintelligent behavior. She’s so invested in the concept she thinks I’m stupid for developing a functional understanding of a subject before I have an opinion about. My comment didn’t even voice an opinion on the subject it was an effort to learn more about an opinion that seems dubious but headline making.
See Supremacy of Bias Identifying Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, chapter Opinion as Fact.
This is another way that communication breaks down, because you can’t talk about a subject with someone when the only thing they have is an opinion without an explanation. They believe that is true and no matter what you explain to them they will continue to believe it’s true because of the association with the source. It’s effectively a means of mind control that’s particularly problematic because of how prevalent it is. COVID hysteria was a demonstration of this power. There are different biases that wield it, creating two groups of people who feel strongly about things that they don’t understand.
The following exchanges are with an individual who is similar to the previous commenter in the sense that he has trouble following points and sticking with the subject. It’s still a choose your position mode of thinking but isn’t the internalization of others opinions without fact.
See Supremacy of Bias: Understanding Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, Chapter Contrarian Bias
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My life has been like a buoy for the last few months, bobbing up and down in the water but unable to get out of it. Affording me nothing but basic necessities. Hovering between 50 to a few hundred dollars, unable to find enough work on a week to week basis. Since I’m living out of my car and was only about 150 miles from Chicago I went to Chicago, thinking Craigslist gigs and the apps I use would be more likely to find me jobs than where I’m at. I arrived Thursday night. On Friday I kept watch on CL and the apps and there wasn’t anything there. In the area I’ve been in I’ve had a day or two of work per week through a man named Terrance who owns a moving company. He told me on Thursday he has a walk through for a job on Monday so hopefully that will produce a day or two this week.
Right now I have about $70 to my name and have been living out of my car for months. This time of the month is typically stressful because I do have a few bills, cell phone and web hosting. I’ve been wearing the same contacts since February, unable to afford an eye exam. I’m nearly out of phenibut which stabilizes my mood just enough to be able to proceed through these circumstances. Otherwise I eat peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast. Look for work, write and refine material, go to the gym to work out and shower, fuck off a little bit watching YouTube, and spend about $10 after the gym on food. This journal goes back 5 years and explains how I’ve arrived at this isolated survivalist state.
5/24/2023
I realized something about myself through a comment exchange today. Less of a realization and more evidence for something I already knew. There was a comment on my post that altruism does not exist since decision making is a product of comparisons; where the feeling gained through the act is greater than the feeling that can be had in the moment through the substance sacrificed.
The original comment was in reference to people who sacrifice their lives to save others. I offered an explanation of feelings generated in the moment, and the anticipation of negative feelings for having not sacrificed themself. These are subconscious processes that are manifest through thoughts, feelings, and decisions.
Today the person responded first stating there is no absolute truth and presenting the scientific criteria for truth in hypothesis, theory, scientific facts etc. Went on to question some of the motivation I provided in response to his life sacrificing contingency.
I replied that the idea that there is no absolute truth is ridiculous, where if you touch something hot you get burned and if you touch something that isn’t hot you don’t. There’s so many pointless posts about truth and things people think are true or profound and they rarely lead into any point. You start reading them and by about the fourth sentence you realize there are so many wrong things being said about nothing it’s impossible to even respond to. Or at least not worth the effort. If you think there’s no truth, or that the truth is arbitrary, go slam your dick in a car door and see if that feels true or not.
To reinforce my argument at least about the aspect of putting one’s self in mortal danger to avoid a negative feeling, I offered some personal experiences. 3 incidents where I had guns pulled on me, two were failed attempts at intimidation, and one was an unsuccessful attempted robbery. The robbery was relevant because my daughter’s mother was in the house with the gunmen and I was out of the house with the money and the pills. Long story short I went into the house to remove them from the house. I don’t like talking about these incidents because I don’t like to be perceived as bragging about it. The reason I don’t like to be seen as bragging about these things is because when I see others doing it outside of an organic arrival on the subject, I tend to think why do you want me know these things and usually causes me to think less of them. But when it’s relevant to a controversy I do talk about these kind of experiences.
In each of those situations at least 1 element of my motivation was avoiding a loss of self worth by letting someone control me with a weapon, or allowing someone to take something from me. That was worse to me than death, or at least worth the risk. I’d like to think that I’m not as inclined to that value as I used to be, but my circumstances as they are tend to put more weight on those kind of values. One of those incidents occurred in December of 2020. Circumstances were fucked up then too. Lol.
I didn’t bring this up just to say that someone sacrificing themself for someone else is sometimes motivated by avoiding the negative feeling of inaction. I was walking and thinking about those incidents and the motivation and it revealed something to me.
That I’ve been a person who on numerous occasions risked his life in the preservation of self worth. More than these 3x but these were the first to come to mind. These are subjective values that are intertwined with my self worth but function through the same object (self) as morality. There were some moral elements as well but the incident when I was 16 or 17 was purely motivated by not wanting to feel like a coward because he had a gun. That’s why I am true to my morality because any step too far outside of it is going to drastically impact my self worth. In a sense those incidents and others are evidence of my commitment to my morality through my value of self worth. If the mechanism is understood, which will vary on an individual basis depending on their value of self worth. In that a person can identify with feeling bad for stepping outside their values and feeling good about the consistency between their known values and application. Whereas others are not moved by it, and are more moved by how they can make themselves appear to others. Some can understand it because they have the same value of self worth, whereas others do not have the experience since they’re more concerned with the image they project to others.
—
I wrote that last night and this morning I had a job where I was both deceptive and taken by surprise by someone failing to honor their agreement.
There is a guy who has a moving company who I’ve worked a few jobs with. There was a job today and his son was carrying a couch on a hand truck and the cushion caught on the wheel leaving a rubber mark on the couch. When we brought it into the storage unit he initially wanted the couch flipped on top of the other then momentarily wanted it on the ground where the mark would be exposed. To avoid him seeing the mark I told him that the couch would be fine on top of the other, and that’s true, but my intentions were motivated by concealing the mark.
Clear case of deception, but in the moment I don’t see any benefit to anyone in him knowing that Keyshawn caused the mark. First the mark can probably be rubbed out with some furniture cleaner. Second, knowing where the mark came from does nothing to change what appears to be an unintended consequence of moving items, and may damage the company’s reputation. It was a moral lie, because deception has no real consequences to the person being lied to.
I will no longer be working with Terrance and Burrell Moving. The pay is only $18 per hour and on this job he said he was paying a 4 hour minimum. I was surprised when he came out of the gas station and said since it only took us 45 minutes, he gave the customer a discount and could only pay me 60 instead of 72. I expressed my disappointment but didn’t have time to really think about it. If he had told me this when we finished the job I’d have been able to separate our brief history and my personal interests regarding the situation. He saw I wasn’t happy, asked if I was good and I said yeah, then asked if I was still planning on working and I said probably give me a call.
When I say separate the history he’s come through clutch on work when I was in desperate need of money. The first job I worked with him I was owed about $240 and he paid $280. Other jobs paid the agreed upon rate, although there was one he paid me for 4 hours that should have been 4.5 but gave me $3 more than 4 hours so I would have been arguing for $4.50. Wasn’t a big deal. That history in the moment prejudices me against damaging the relationship.
When I say interests, I have been bobbing between bad and worse for at least the last 2 months so I don’t want to limit the few opportunities I have.
After I drove off I had time to think about it and separate these two things. Him offering the customer a discount because of how quickly we worked has nothing to do with what he agreed to pay me. He said he felt bad for the guy but if we look at all the parties involved, no one is need of that $12 more than I am. He also lied to me before that. I called him to find out where we were going to meet so I could get my money and he said you’re done already? He knew that because I heard his son call and ask if the customer paid or not.
So I let him know he doesn’t need to call me anymore, because I’m not going to work with somebody who doesn’t honor their agreements.
I had $40 in my pocket when I started the day, that means I have $100 right now, a quarter tank of gas, living out of my car, and $80 worth of bills due on the 1st. That $12 is significant to me, much more significant than it is to Terrance or the customer. There is some regret present for not being able to seperate the history and my interests to react in the moment. Which was intended and the reason he didn’t tell me before he did it.
Despite being right to be upset, and if we set aside history and my immediate interests of the prospect for work there is the amount of time I worked and the amount. Typically when I work with people I don’t sweat the small stuff because we’re getting money together. When I worked with Mark there were a few different occasions where I’d buy some tools or fasteners etc out of my own money and I wouldn’t ask for reimbursement because what’s 10 to $20 when we’re making money? Same with Shay when I did interstate moving I was easy to close with but I was never worried about something he thought might have $100 in his column that maybe wasn’t, especially when there were sometimes expenses not accounted for that he covered.
I don’t like to seem petty especially not in business relationships. Here I worked 45 minutes and was paid $60, which is good by most people’s standards but he agreed to pay me $72. It’s like the landscaper a month or two ago near Cincinnati who wanted us to meet and ride with him but then didn’t want to pay us for the ride back which is our time. I don’t like to work for mother fuckers who don’t appreciate the work I’m doing and trying to nickel and dime shit.
A lot of this is a blow to myself worth for not standing on my $12, but it’s hard to do when you’re surprised by it, and have interests, history, and small amounts in what was withheld and how much work I did.
5/26/2023
Entry Withheld
6/04/2023
Entry Withheld
6/5/2023
See The Supremacy of Bias: Identifying Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, Chapter Anti-capitalism Bias
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The work is actually quite strenuous. We’re placing 3 to 12 inch rock on a hill. Today was easier than the previous two days. The first day I only worked for an hour and a half during the hottest part of the day from about 4 to 530. That day was difficult in part due to navigating the wheel barrel down a steep grade and uneven terrain, and the heat where it was above 90 degrees.
The second day was by far the most difficult. We began at 9 and finished around 5 and it was brutally hot all day. We had poor help. One guy walked to us about 60 feet down hill and was out of breath by the time he reached the spot where we were working. He lasted about a half hour and I tried to help him. I took the full wheelbarrow up the hill where we were placing the rocks from and let him take the empty wheel barrow back down. He tapped out after about half an hour.
The other dude did not place rocks well, looked like he’d been up all night, moved like he’d been up all night, smelled like he’d been up 3 nights, and took the golf cart. It was a group assignment at the time, and it pissed me off because I can’t really say anything about him taking the golf cart. If he wants to drive the cart that’s fine, but don’t take the cart when you haven’t taken the cart before.
I told him he smells like shit and should have washed his ass before he came to work. He said he came from another job doing HVAC, which seemed like and probably was a lie. He came at like 10 or 11am on a Saturday, there’s no HVAC jobs going on from Friday night to Saturday morning. Maybe there is some HVAC company who will send somebody out at 2am to fix your AC. IDK. This dude has about a 10 foot stench, meaning I could smell him from about 10 feet away.
I was assigned to the wheel barrow otherwise I was going to take it from him and take the key with me so he couldn’t use it. We all went out to lunch and I was better after that. Went to skyline chili. It wasn’t bad, tastes like something I’d make at home. I got the burrito which was a chili burrito with tomatoes, lettuce, cheese and sour cream.
But later in the day I’m loading the wheelbarrow with rocks and he’s supposed to be loading his bucket. I give him about a minute or two and he still isn’t moving. I ask him what are you doing? He smiles and starts working.
The last thing I want to do is tell a person to do their job. When I worked with Mark from Premier, when I was in charge of temps I might tell you something one time, and after that I’d tell Premier Mark what the issues were and in most cases he would send them home and not bring them back. In other situations he’d let them stay but assign them to some BS work, like picking up trash outside when it’s 20 degrees outside. If I have to say something to you other than instructions about working, you don’t intend to fulfill your agreement to provide services. I don’t like to tell anybody what to do, so I’m not going to chase anybody around to make sure that they’re working.
In this situation I’m also not going to work while you’re getting paid if you’re not working. I’m also not going to stop working. You don’t have to work as hard and fast as I do but you need to be contributing. This is how I’ve always been with people I’ve hired or people who are under my supervision. Mike Singletary on Vernon Davis: can’t coach him, can’t play with him, I’d rather go out there with 10 guys and just get penalized. I’d rather not have enough guys and make up for the lost production than to have guys who are not there to provide services, who want me to catch them not working and tell them to get to work.
On Saturday he told both of us to come back. Since I don’t have the relationship with Mark the homeowner that I have with Mark from Premier, I told him I wasn’t going to come back if he was bringing back HVAC Stank and explained the reasons and he saw what I seen but attributed how he worked to him responding poorly to the heat. But he agreed not to bring him back.
Today was easy compared to the other days, but not completely without controversy. It was easy because Lucus who was there the first day came today and two high energy Russians. Everyone came to work and everyone worked hard. I’ve had enough positive experiences working with Russians to believe that pride in working hard is a value within Russian culture. I think that’s what weak people do not understand, that the heat and the work is just as hard for us as it is for them. But 1 I need the money and 2 I aint no bitch, so I’m not going to fail to pull my weight because the work is hard and it may be hot.
Lucas had baseball gloves he was working in. I asked if they were baseball gloves or golfing gloves and he said he played baseball. Then I commented that I thought golfers only wear one glove. Mark the homeowner confirmed that golfers only wear one glove.
He asked me what sports I played and I told him basketball and football but only recreationally. And I haven’t played ball in a long time.
He told me he played corner and safety at Notre Dame. He said he played football at Notre Dame and I guessed corner based on his build. Not an easy guess because they’re are not a lot of white corners. I said not a lot of future in being a white cornerback. He’s from California, and seemed slightly taken aback by my comment. It’s true. Being a professional cornerback is the most athletically demanding position in sports. Which is evidence that black people tend to have more athleticism in their gene pool.
He mentioned that a white corner he knew or played with made it to the pros. It’s impressive that he played for a division 1 football team. To play division 1 sports is an exclusive caliber of athlete. Top 98 percent of athletes. Football is the most athletically demanding sport and corner is the most athletically demanding position. He was a high level athlete although he did say he played safety more than corner and did better with the physical aspects of the game. I was impressed to learn that.
On the subject of cornerbacks, while there are many who are quite good in zone, there are very few who are really good in man coverage. In the history of the game there were three corners who I considered had shut down eras in man coverage. There was Sanders, Revis for a few seasons, and Champ Bailey. Champ Bailey would completely take all pro receivers out of the game. He was that for most of his career.
Anyway there were a few decisions that seemed to make the job more difficult than it had to be. First the decision to use garbage cans and two man teams to carry them down the hill was poorly thought out. I was going to recommend on the second day that he should get some 5 gallon buckets. In that scenario each per could load a bucket to their desired capacity and place the rock where it needs to go.
The other issues were strategic. Instead of placing the load at the top of the hill and essentially allowing it to be poured to the bottom and maybe carried down, he had the rock dumped at the bottom. This meant a two man team to pass it over the retaining wall and eventually a three man team carrying it up hill.
He wanted to add rock above his original line. We still had the left side to the original height and middle to fill. We had wheel barrows coming from the left that could reach to the middle and pour. Instead of waiting to finish that he cut us off from the path by having us take the side to the left all the way up blocking the path of the wheel barrow. It didn’t prove to be too great a set back because we ran out of rock on that side shortly after we finished.
The other part that made things more difficult is we developed a system of picking up multiple rocks by hand and placing them where they needed to go. It was more efficient. I was placing the rock while others were pouring it, but after they began bringing it by hand there was no need for me to place it so I joined them in picking and placing. Later homeowner Mark began placing and asking for buckets. I told him that I didn’t quit on placing, it was just that they were picking and placing so there was no need for me to just place and so I started picking too. He wasn’t acclimated to working on the hill and had me resume that position. Shortly afterwards he had them bring tubs and we carried them down and place them. May have been slightly faster to fill out the bottom but only because he had them stop trying to place the rocks we were bringing when he was placing.
None of it was a big deal. Lucas said he was about to leave when the rocks were delivered at the bottom, but not because the work was too hard but because it didn’t make sense to him to do it like that. I felt the same way momentarily but more so when he blocked the wheel barrow route to the center. Like I said, really no big deal, still got a lot done, he said we moved 12 tons of rock. It wasn’t as hot as it had been and we had a good team so it was a pretty smooth day.
6/9/2023
I may have already summarized part of this exchange in a recent entry, but the contents of the exchange are important for several reasons. First it answers challenges to RUSC that others may put forward. Second, it shows how a person who claims to be for better opportunities for the working poor, does not want to help those people unless it directly helps CNAs. It seems to be an example of bias since every objection was overcome and the person still resisted the proposal while otherwise supporting the goal of.the proposal.
See The Supremacy of Bias: Identifying Barriers to Communication Through Social Media Exchanges, Chapter Personal Bias
6/19/2023
I mentioned a reset so to speak in my last entry. The reset essentially means disregarding my experience that informs that my life and ambition is hopeless. I’ve written about this before so there isn’t much that can be stated about the elements that evidence my hopelessness that hasn’t already been stated: human behavioral functions, avoidance, rejection, and the inability to understand information that challenges beliefs due to the consequences that information has to their value of objects. Way over 99 percent of people on this planet are closer to non-intelligent life than they are to intelligent life by virtue of how they function, led by feelings they don’t understand and do not want to understand. Puppeted through biases by those who benefit from this organization of society.
On Friday the 16th, after realizing I happen to be in a contested congressional district decided by less than 15,000 votes 2022 I thought about resuming activities that already proved ineffective. Public canvassing and flier distribution. I momentarily fooled myself into believing I had a new approach. Previous OPL canvassing efforts were directed at creating awareness among people working in retail and fast food, and among owners of these businesses. The idea being it was the easiest group to develop interest in and create word of mouth buzz. I guess I was stupid for thinking that people would be interested in and would tell others about a proposal that would lead to them earning $5 to $10+ per hour more for the same work. That they would go to the website, sign a petition, and maybe post links to the website and petition pages to their social media.
I thought in Vegas after the failure in Elgin, a new approach can yield different results. Of course Vegas results were the same as Elgin, after about 4 to 5 hours going from store to store and speaking with managers and other employees it was clear I wasn’t being understood, and later it became more evident when the canvassing efforts produced no signatures.
I figured this time can be different because I’ll focus on the general public. I forgot that prior to OPL I had L&T flyers that looked pretty good and contained summaries of the proposals that are either predecessors of the OPL proposals or are OPL proposals. During that time I was earning a living playing online poker tournaments on Bovada and distributing flyers from Arizona to Alabama. Sometimes hand to hand including oral introductions and conversation and sometimes leaving them on car windows. Some places generated more web traffic than others, but it only generated 1 comment that failed to demonstrate any understanding of the content, generated no book or merchandise sales and essentially no interest. I did this in AZ, NM, TX, OK, AR, TN, and AL. Maybe MS too but I think I stopped after AL.
I push that experience out. I was going to create a new handout and begin canvassing again in this new area. I think I’m done with that. My time will be better spent preparing myself mentally to get off this planet and get to what comes next.
Saturday I saw an ad on CL for a moving job and thought it made sense to try to make some money especially since I anticipated having some new expenses through the resumption of promotion. The ad said 4 hour minimum so I presumed it would be a 2 to 3 hour unload.
The job was actually about 3000 cf which is roughly 3/4ths of a semi trailer. The carry was 30 to 50 yards from the trailer to the home depending on where the items were going. It was the driver and myself who unloaded most of the truck and the homeowners also helped for the first 2000 cf.
After about an hour someone pulled up who was supposed to help. He pulled up and sat in his car for a few minutes. Then he drove off and waited for another few minutes about 20 yards away. Then he pulled in front of the semi and waited another 5 to 10 minutes before finally getting out. When he did finally get out and approached us I said you can tell when somebody shows up and they ain’t going to be shit. I made the statements because no one who wants to work typically pulls up to the job and waits 15 to 20 minutes before getting out of the car to start working. He took a few trips to the house with some boxes on the hand truck dolly and then left.
After 4 to 5 hours more help arrived. I thought we only had a little bit of stuff left because the driver told me the job we were unloading stopped at the door (side door on trailer) but it actually went a 1000 cf or so past that. I also didn’t know what time it was because I left my phone in the car and the driver told me prior to the help arriving that we’d only been there a few hours.
When they first came I thought we had maybe an hour left and thought that meant we would be finishing at about 4 hours total for me. I initially had mild resentment or jealousy in that I had been busting my ass to unload the truck and they came for the last hour and we would receive the same for vastly different amounts of work performed.
As it turned out, what I thought was hour 3 was actually hour 5, and there was a lot more on the truck including two massive safes and a lot of furniture. These dudes were fantastic, had these harnesses and a strap that connected to the harnesses that made it easier to take two man pieces. They took most of the two man pieces and my appreciation for how much easier they made the last 4 hours cannot be overstated.
We waited until the end to move the safes. These were Liberty Safes, so the weight of the safes are from the manufacturer, not my personal estimation. One weighed 900 lbs the other was 600lbs.
We slid it from the back of the trailer to the ramp. They were both close to 6 feet tall, probably 4 feet wide, and about 3ft deep. First we tried to use their harness strap system to see if it could be lifted up with the strap. It seemed possible, 2 guys essentially deadlifting 450lbs but only far enough off the ground to waddle with the safe while myself and the driver stabilized it from the sides.
They couldn’t get it up. The safe was attached to a pallet kind of structure on the bottom which proved helpful on a few occasions. I took a strap put it under the safe and wrapped it around my hands. The idea was Joe Smooth (one of the helpers) and Izzy (I don’t remember his name it was something like that) would use their strap underneath the middle. I would use a strap on one side and the driver would use a strap on the other and then we have about 225 lbs each. The driver didn’t get in position but the other guys and myself tried and we were able to tip it.
We tipped it on its side to make it more stable going down the ramp. We put blankets on the ramp to slide it down the ramp because using a 4 wheel dolly and having it standing tall would make it more unstable and probably impossible to control. There was a lip that the safe had to go over to get it on the ramp. I was able to lift it up with the strap to clear the lip and they pushed it onto the ramp. From there we pushed and pulled to get it down the ramp.
At the bottom of the ramp we had a lot of deliberation but most of it was focused on what we were going to do when we made it to the grass. I wasn’t paying attention since we had about 30 yards before reaching the grass. We put the safe on a 4 wheel dolly and we’re able to roll it to the grass.
The next part we were going to use the truck ramp and a platform to roll it on the ramp and then reset the ramp. This would have been challenging because there was a steep hill. Instead Joe Smooth suggested we try to use two hand trucks and then we just put 2 people on each hand truck. This worked well.
Once down the grass hill we had an area with a gate that we couldn’t fit through with the safe the long way on the 2 dolly system. We had to get the ramp from the truck and position it along the grass through the entrance and put the safe back onto the 4 wheeler onto the ramp. This was very challenging but it worked.
We rolled it to the entrance through some sliding doors. We had to lift it through the door and push it into the house. The problem we had is the safe wouldn’t slide across the carpet. We had to put it back on the 4 wheeler. This was a cool moment for me. We put the strap underneath the safe. I grabbed both ends of the straps and had to pretty much deadlift it about 2 feet off the ground so they could slide the 4 wheeler underneath it. Obviously it isn’t the whole 900lbs since it’s only one end of the safe coming off the ground but I felt pretty strong that I was able to do that.
We were able to get both safes where the customer wanted them. That was 9 hours of very hard labor.
I slept very poorly that night and was tired all day Sunday. Slept poorly again last night. I’ve had pain at the base of my neck for the last week or so as well as pain in my left calf that I think is blood clots. Also have the regular pain in my right knee where 7 years ago I had an MRI showing that my meniscus was mangled and I had cartilage damage and a frayed ACL. Sleep has been becoming very difficult. I suspect the pain in my neck may be related to the blood clot in my leg. I’ve been taking low dose aspirin twice daily hoping maybe this will break up or at least prevent more clots but that’s unlikely. I have some other issues too, a history of dislocations in my left shoulder due to lax ligaments that has led to varying levels of constant pain in my shoulder blade, but the point is the pain in my neck and leg is impacting my sleep.
If the pain in my left leg is blood clots, and I’m pretty sure it is, I’ll be dead soon anyway. If I go to ER, they’re going to x-ray or ultrasound my leg to see if there are blood clots. If there are blood clots they’ll give me a dose of Eliquis and give me a prescription for Eliquis. I have about $350 and the prescription costs about $600.
It was December 2021 when I had my pulmonary embolism. I wish I still had all my footage from my camping trip because you could hear how out of breath I was in the days leading up to it. My calves were hurting and I couldn’t figure it out. I thought my difficulty breathing was due to the elevation when in fact it was due to blood clots obstructing my pulmonary veins limiting the amount of oxygen rich blood could get into the system. Until the obstruction became so severe that it couldn’t sustain normal function.
There are a few scenarios I fear. Either a stroke caused by the blood clots, or a pulmonary embolism that deprives my brain of oxygen that will have the same impact as a stroke. The other scenario having the same basis as the aforementioned, a scenario where a suicide attempt leaves me with brain damage. My greatest fear is brain damage.
I’m a few days now with a limited amount of low quality sleep. Last night I went to sleep at about a quarter to 11, then I woke up at 3:45am and couldn’t fall back asleep. That isn’t too bad, roughly 4 hours sleep, but it’s coming on consecutive nights where I got about 3 hours sleep each night and a day of extreme physical exertion.
I probably don’t need to drag this entry on too much further. There are few things I can say that haven’t already been stated. I see constant advertising of causes on FB and usually point out that they’re grifts. Any promoted cause that doesn’t state specific goals is about using a popular cause to benefit the organizers not the cause itself.
Recently I received a response from someone whose reply to my response was that they believed the people in the group were working hard. It’s so irrational, because if they were working hard, in this example for women’s reproductive rights they would tell you what it is they’re hard at working doing, a specific aim, and how they plan to accomplish it. It’s insane to me that people are so drawn to empty rhetoric and not substance.
Meanwhile, everything I promote seeks to convey a functional understanding of the problem, how the solution addresses the problem, how it serves the interests of affected parties, and how the solution will be accomplished, and no one is interested in that. They want to hear the rhetoric they support and that is the depth of their understanding and what is required to gain their support.
I support abortion and my position is rooted in morality, in that there’s no imposition without consciousness because the thing has no experience and no likes or will to impose on. If a child is going to be brought into the world and the parents are without the resources, ability, and will to take care of the child the child is unlikely to have a very high quality of life and this obviously is going to impose on the lives of the parents and maybe the public as a whole as the child grows up reacting to disadvantaged circumstances. I’m very pro-choice.
Of course as pro-choice as I am, I am much more pro-liberty, and pro-sovereignty. I recognize that Roe v. Wade was a decision that was less the express letter of the constitution establishing a woman’s right to an abortion and more a ruling made to serve the greater good in giving women the right to have an abortion. The reversal of the decision through the Mississippi law being challenged and brought before the supreme court was not really a stretch from a legal perspective.
I believe that people within different jurisdictions, wrong as they may be, have the right to impose on themselves, and it’s up to the people in those jurisdictions to change those laws or to move to be around people who do not want to impose on others.
I mention this because after pointing out that this organization was a grift since it presented no plan to address the cause it promoted I also discussed the significance of the cause itself. The overturning of Roe. V. Wade doesn’t prevent women from getting abortions in states where abortion has been outlawed, it just changes the distance to access, where the nearest clinic is across state lines. There’s no federal recourse at the moment. There’s not enough support among the states to pass a constitutional amendment which I would support. There’s presently no legal interpretation to challenge what exists in the constitution to give women those rights. So any effort to promote women’s reproductive rights is a state level campaign that has to target states that have passed legislation prohibiting or excessively restricting abortion.
I mentioned some of these things in comment and the idiotic responses I received were about as expected. One guy messaged that my privilege was showing. I’m one of the worst examples to try to make a case for white or male privilege. I guess it was in response to the idea that my white male privilege leads me to believe that people have the resources to go out of state to get abortions, since I pointed out that the overturning of Roe v. Wade is a matter of logistics not a matter of prohibition. If a person has $700 or whatever it costs these days to have an abortion they can probably come up with another $150 for a roundtrip Spirit or Frontier airlines ticket to reach the clinic and go back home.
The other response was from some ignorant cunt who thought I was a prolifer who said I should carry a baby to term in my nutsack. Just demonstrates her inability to understand what I was saying in my comments. My arguments were centered on the organization using the cause to promote their own interests since they had no specifics, and showing the cause isn’t as important as they pretend, not anything stating that I don’t believe women should have the right to have an abortion.
That person’s profile pic had text stating hetrosexuality isn’t normal, it’s just common. That was telling to me. It shows the limited capacity the person has for recognizing consistency and critical thinking. The statement is intended to promote LGBT sexuality by calling it unique and different but fails to recognize that the definition of normal requires commonality, meaning if something is common it’s normal, and something cannot be common without being normal. That’s something that’s small and insignificant on its own but also very telling that someone would use a contradictory statement to promote their cause and represent themself.
That is the world I find myself in. The whole country is different proportions of a few different brands of stupidity and their biases prevent them from understanding better, being more intelligent, and recognizing and acting on their own best interests.
Where does that leave me?
It leaves me misunderstood, struggling to survive among a population full of stupid, stupider, and stupidest, who think I’m stupid because they can’t understand me
6/20/2023
The following is an exchange that shows both a position by the left and a position by the right to be wrong. The post is a response to the assertions that black people are shot more by police. In the post the man rightly claims that twice as many white people are shot by police as black people but fails to recognize that the ratio of white to black people in this country is about 4 to 1 not 2 to 1. I provide the leftist position in my comment as perpetrated by Ian Thomson of Northwestern University that black people are over twice as likely to be shot as white people. Then I compare the number of arrests by race to the use of deadly force by race which shows that both races are shot in about the same proportion that they commit crime.
Orion Simerl Twice as many white people are shot by law enforcement in total numbers but that isn’t the story. The response to that is that black people represent 13 percent of the population but 28 percent of police shootings, and claim black people are shot twice as much as is proportionate to their numbers. The whole story is that black people commit roughly 30 percent of crime and represent about 28 percent of police shootings, and white people represent about 55 percent of crimes and represent about 55 percent of police shootings. This means the determining factor in being shot by police is through exposure to the police through the commission of a crime. Black people commit a disproportionate amount of crime because a disproportionate amount of black people are born poor due to PAST systemic racism. White people are still a vast majority of poor people in this country.
Samuel Strings correct, it isn’t about population size, that’s a incomplete statistic with no bearing. It’s about interactions with the police and black people are more than 10 times as likely to have interactions with police than white. Thus white people are actually shot by police at more than 20 times the rate of blacks.
Orion Simerl What do you do read 1 sentence and then reply? What did I say? “This means the determining factor in being shot by police is through exposure to police based on committing crimes. You’re making up 10x whereas I have the sources for my numbers because I actually research my questions.
Research conducted by and promoted by Professor Matthew Miller of Northwestern University asserts that black suspects are shot at a rate that exceeds the proportion of black people in the general population. He found that black people make up 12% of the population and represent 25% of police shooting deaths, and white people represent 62% of the population and represent 54% of police shooting deaths. The proportion of crime committed by black people is also greater than their proportion to the general population, and roughly equal to the proportion of black people shot by police.(1)
Black people represent 25% of police shooting deaths and represent 26.6% of crimes, and white people represent 54% of police shooting deaths and 55.5% of crimes.(2) A white criminal is as likely to be shot and killed by police as a black criminal.
1: Ian Thomsen 7/16/2020, The Research is Clear: White People are not More Likely to be Killed by Police than Black People”. Northwestern News. https://news.northeastern.edu/2020/07/16/the-research-is-clear-white-people-are-not-more-likely-than-black-people-to-be-killed-by-police/
2: OJJDP Statistical Briefing Book. Estimated number of arrests by offense and race, 2018. Available: https://www.ojjdp.gov/ojstatbb/crime/ucr.asp?table_in=2. Released on October 31, 2019. 10.3 Million Arrests 2018, 2.8 million were black suspects representing 26.6% of crimes. Previous citation (FN20) asserts black people represent 25% of police shootings but represent only 12% of the population. Black people are shot by police proportional to contact. White people are also likely shot proportionate to contact. Hispanic ethnicity is not separated from white in BJS records. However, hispanic people represent roughly 18% of the population and commit crimes at a rate that is higher than white people but lower than black people. A conservative estimate that 20% of the crimes assigned to white people (7.1 million) in this data is committed by hispanic people leaves white people responsible for 5.7 million out of 10.3 million crimes representing 55.5% of crimes. According to Thomsen white people represent 54% of police shootings. It’s also interesting that the hispanic crime rate is above whites who have a higher median income than hispanics but lower than blacks who have a lower median income than hispanics.
Note previous paragraphs excerpt and footnote from book Racial Perceptions: Addressing Popular Misconceptions that Contribute to Racial Divide.
-Interesting that you claim whites are more likely to be shot by police, Ian Thomson thinks black people are more likely to be shot, and I show that you’re both wrong because race plays no role in being shot by police, the commission of crime does.
Samuel Strings this is still incomplete data. The real statistic is in the number of interactions with police. Per 100 interactions with police white people are shot at a significantly higher rate. Population doesn’t matter at all. That’s false statistics.
Orion Simerl This is data from Bureau of Justice Statistics and disseminated through “Arrest Data Analysis Tool, a system that logs arrests as people are arrested. It accurately represents who was arrested, it isn’t a false statistic.
I believe Ian’s source was the FBI who tracks police shootings.
People of different races are shot in the same proportion as they are arrested for crime. That is a fact whether you acknowledge it or not.
Although you assert that interactions are more indicative of shootings that doesn’t make any sense and you have provided no source for your claim. Force isn’t required in all interactions, so there are a variety of interactions where force will never be required, taking a statement from a willing witness for example, and one group being witnesses more than the other group could then cause that group to seem less likely to be shot, because they have more never violent interactions.
More importantly, force is only used to gain compliance or neutralize a threat to life or great bodily harm. A person can only be non-compliant when they are facing detention or arrest. Committing crimes is the only way to increase your chances of being arrested, and being arrested increases the likelihood that people will be non-compliant and the use of force will be required. Then there is presumably some portion that will result in the use of deadly force. This correlation shows that race plays no role in the typical use of deadly force by law enforcement.
Samuel Strings I don’t need a source is fundamental logic which you seem to lack. Use your brain, the more one interacts with those accused of doing the shootings, the higher their chances of being the one shot.
Orion Simerl LOL just provided the most accurate sources that show the number of arrests by race and the number of shootings by race showing they are about the same. Then I showed that arrests are the only interactions that can produce the use of force because it’s the only situation where an officer may force compliance. It isn’t the more one interacts with law enforcement the more likely they are to be shot because as I already explained, many interactions never result in the use of force. Which is why I know things and you do not.
You do need a source for your claim that based on interactions white people are 10x more likely to be shot by police.
You’re exactly what’s wrong with this species.
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I’ll probably chronicle more exchanges because they do demonstrate how people cannot accept things that challenge their biases. With this individual it seems less about maintaining his belief that white people are shot by police 20x more than black people, and more about him not wanting to admit that he is wrong. Self worth preservation, where either he cannot understand the distinction between our positions, and how arrest creates the requirement of compliance, and it’s only in that environment that force can be used. Or it’s image promotion in not wanting to appear to anyone seeing the exchange that he changed his position. Where he thinks it will lower others opinion of him, the perception of which reduces self worth and feels bad.
I haven’t went to the gym for 2 or 3 days now. The first such stretch in 8 months. This was in part because I was on legs and shoulders and I have blood clots in my left calf. I can feel it, it’s a constant pain and my caves swell up and becomes hot when I walk on it. It’s hard to work legs when your calf hurts from blood clots. The other reason of course is I think it’s done. Exercise began as a means to feel good to keep my mood elevated. Now I don’t want to elevate my mood because there’s only one way out of this hell.
These social media exchanges don’t have much impact on that decision, it’s more previous efforts and understanding that I cannot communicate with people who understand information through feeling, and whose feelings are rooted in false beliefs. And even if communication is possible there seems to be external forces involved that I am unable to know the source of and that I am unable to address. The social media exchanges just serve as evidence of willed human ignorance, or the inability of people to understand things that they don’t want to be true.
On the positive side of things these blood clots are going to kill me, probably pretty soon. I don’t need to do anything on that front. I may want to go to the hospital and then maybe my daughter can sue when I die based on indifference to a serious medical condition, where I don’t have access to treatment for a life threatening condition. I cannot qualify for any state insurance because I’m not really a resident of any state. The ER will give me a dose of Eliquis, write me a prescription for Eliquis that I cannot afford, and provide me with a referral to a doctor who I cannot see because I do not have insurance. Eventually these clots are going to move as they did before and prevent my body from receiving adequate amounts of oxygenated blood. I’ll become dizzy, short of breath, eventually I’ll collapse, and then I’ll see what comes next.
There’s no reason to be here with this self deceiving tyrant species. Most everything that I’ve discovered could have been known at nearly any point in human history through a truly objective human being with questions about how the world which includes people functions. The fact that these things are not known, morality, political function, reality through the function of motion, etc, is evidence that nobody has approached these problems with completely pure intent. The fact that nobody can understand these things is evidence that I haven’t found anybody approaching those questions with pure intentions.
It’s not preferable to me to continue on with no outlet for my discoveries, insights, ideas, and ambition. To be dismissed without being understood and without being shown to be wrong. Everything most people see in the world is something they’re unsure about, whereas most of what I see in this world I understand to be bullshit. You can’t imagine what it’s like to be surrounded by BS at all times and knowing that people are emotionally invested in BS they cannot be logically moved from.
I’m trapped through inadequate opportunities for money.
I’m trapped through the inability to communicate with irrational people who interpret information through feeling instead of through fact.
In 10 years of peddling truth as demonstrated through functions of motion, through every outlet imaginable and there is 0 understanding or interest, that’s a pretty good indication that nothing is going to improve without changing ambition. Ambition cannot be changed because an individual cannot abandon certain truth for certain lies.
Maybe that’s it. It isn’t about the masses. The masses exist in their evil to produce a small number of people who can recognize and resist it. Their ideas and visions are never implemented but they have obtained the understanding required for eternal liberty. And masses of tyrants for eternal tyranny, having preferred the bliss of ignorance to intellectual development. Even when I was as ignorant as anyone else and as biased as anyone else my first 28 or so years of life I always understood that the only thing that I take with me everywhere is what I know. That will probably prove to be the great failure of life for most people, the preference to maintain pleasant ignorance over the truth.
6/21-24/2022
I drove past a giant church that had a sign that read “just believe”. Believing something does not make it true, and things that are true can be known and do not require belief.
After thinking about the foolish advice I thought about the morality of deception through willed ignorance. People contaminate the reality of others with false information because they refuse to critically examine their beliefs. The only reason people do not subject information to critical examination is because so much of what a person likes depends on their beliefs being true. They lie to others because they like the way the idea makes them feel; otherwise they would know better and that’s where the responsibility comes from.
I believe in most situations, whether religion, politics, advertising, academics etc, that a person who spreads false information they believe is true without critically examining it is responsible for that deception.
It would be interesting if people understood that unknowingly deceiving others is morally wrong. Interesting in the sense that people would gain a better understanding of how most people in this world are not good people. Unfortunately it wouldn’t change habits through social norms, because there are far more people who prefer to believe things than there are people who want to know things.
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I returned to the gym after missing a few days. In the previous entry I was trying to go all in on suicide and going to the gym seemed counterproductive to those ends. Most of the reason I workout at the gym is for mood enhancement.
When I first became serious about the act I gave myself a few things to complete to prepare for my departure. I was going to write a eulogy, compile and edit my journal, read through my books, and then put the books and journal on a flash drive. Then I was going to send the flash drive and my rings to my daughter.
I was in Cincinnati alternating between the rest areas on 75 north, 71 north, and 71 south in Florence, KY. I considered resuming a campaign in Cincinnati since the 1st Congressional District of Ohio was decided by about 15k votes in 2022. Then I began reflecting on previous canvassing experience and I already knew the results of canvassing. I decided to leave the Cincinnati area with no particular destination and still no plan.
I exited shortly after the rest area on 71 north cutting across to 75. On that route there are two hiking areas near a lake with places to park on either side of the street. I stopped to go for a little hike. By this time I abandoned the tasks, the eulogy will be irrelevant, and I don’t want to create attachments to momentos with my daughter in sending her my rings.
I took my rope and cut off about a 20 foot section. I was entering an area where there were trees and seclusion so there was an opportunity to get myself out of this situation.
I left the car and did not take the rope. I couldn’t get to a solid point of intention. I couldn’t take the rope with me hiking without feeling prepared to use it. It felt fake to me to bring it with me.
It makes so much sense for me to kill myself, but it’s hard to do. It’s hard for me because I don’t have the sorrow or emotional pain that people typically have who have endured similar circumstances for such prolonged periods of time. There’s no pain driving me to get away from it. As my circumstances continue to deteriorate I can probably get there. The main preventer in the moment is the impossible possibility, to get this shit off the ground.
Otherwise punching my ticket makes a lot of sense, since my only option in life is to do menial work to earn money to be more comfortable, because people are incapable of comprehending or accepting information that challenges their beliefs and most people’s perception of the world is built on layers of misconceptions. People are so biased in their interpretation of information they cannot grasp basic elements of fact and reason, cannot understand, recognize, and act on their own best interests.
There are a few different elements that played a role in me wanting to set a date so to speak. The long day of work and thinking why am I still doing this? Coupled with remembering my experiences canvassing, remembering what I felt like afterwards. Going from place to place and in most cases knowing the people I was talking to didn’t understand what I was saying. To tell someone I have a proposal that will add 5 to 10+ dollars per hour while advancing the interests of every affected party, and for those people to not be interested is insane. It’s worse when you feel like they suspect you’re running game, when I’m exactly the only mother fucker out here who is not. And if you weren’t so fucking stupid you’d know that. You’d know that every other organization is trying to sell you on the cause and has no solution or plan to realize a solution, and most of these causes are not actual problems or shouldn’t be priority. Whereas I provide every detail of how something will work, the problem, the solution, the strategy, contingencies, and no one is able to understand basic things. But they’ll support something that’s vague if the slogan is appealing. Not limited to these things, but other things as well that there is no outlet for.
The point is my circumstances fluctuate between bad and worse, and it is unlikely to change based on the thinking habits and behavioral functions of this species. So it makes sense to remove myself from this trapped situation. But in the moment, it’s like why now? There’s the recognition of everything I understand and have become and how there’s still a chance however remote that something could happen, even if it seems impossible based on my experience which has killed my motivation and drive.
I’m going to go to the hospital in a little bit to get the confirmation on these blood clots. This is the third separate occasion I’ve had them, I know the symptoms and what it feels like. Maybe they’ll give me an IV of the good blood thinners which could be enough to break them up. My concern is stroke. Obviously I’m not concerned about death but living with cognitive impairment would be horrible.
—
I went to a hospital that was supposed to be top 50 rated in the country but there were two locations and I may have chosen the wrong one. Staff were friendly and mostly competent, but the facilities were pretty run down. I only have two complaints, one was minor the other one is potentially more serious.
I have pretty big veins. The nurse’s first attempt she stuck the vein and I don’t know what happened but no blood came out. Then she stuck another vein and I’m pretty sure she went right through it. It hurt, there’s a big hematoma and I became hot and started feeling dizzy and nauseated.
Another minor situation was they supposedly lost my blood. They said the lab told them they never received it.
It seemed like this hospital had just enough people that knew how to do their job, and the rest were temps. Like somebody went down to labor ready and said hey does anybody want to work in a hospital? They asked my height and weight. They only took my temperature right before I left. It felt like there was a Waffle House somewhere that was short staffed so that this hospital could have a full crew.
They told me they were going to do an ultrasound and a CT scan if they found anything on the ultrasound. As expected, they found blood clots through the ultrasound, but didn’t do the CT scan. The CT scan is important because if there are blood clots in my leg, and if as I believe they’ve been there for a week the CT scan would show if they’ve migrated anywhere else in my body.
As predicted, they gave me a dose of Eliquis, and a prescription for Eliquis and sent me on my way.
I think there’s some kind of connection with my outlook and blood clots. On the three separate occasions when I’ve developed blood clots it’s all been during periods where I’ve really had enough of this shit. Recognizing that there’s no improvement coming, there’s no way to reach self deceiving people, and you can be ignored, dismissed, and isolated without explanation or anyone showing any understanding or deficiencies in what you’re saying.
6/25/2023
I woke up before 4am after falling asleep around midnight. It’s been like this lately. Very difficult to sleep. I don’t know if I took the entry out but I mentioned how events produce feelings through perception and how those feelings influence the kind of thoughts I have which in turn influences feelings and so on and so forth.
It isn’t always events. If I’m not distracting myself with some BS, it’s pretty difficult not to think about some circumstance that stirs the pot. About a year and a half ago I was able to maintain myself by playing poker tournaments. I think I made about $1500 for the month but it was enough. I threw a little bit of money on the online poker site and I don’t know what they did, but it seems rigged.
Super unlikely occurrences happening over and over again. On the flop I’m 99 percent going to win the hand, commit chips to the pot and then lose the hand. Insane. Playing Omaha pot limit. Flop comes J 6 6. I have J J. I check to him because he’s been aggressively raising. He raises and I reraise, and then he jams. At that point the only hand that is ahead of me is if he had 6 6 which is unlikely. He doesn’t even have a 6. He has A J. The only way he can win is if the turn is an A and the river is an A. Turn comes and it’s an A. River comes it’s an A. If you want to know how unlikely that is take my hand and his hand and the flop out of the deck. And then flip the turn river reshuffle and repeat and see how long it takes to come up A A. It’s going to take a long time.
Another example I’m playing holdem. I have 9 7. The flop is 6 8 10. I flop the straight. I check, he raises, I reraise, he jams, and I call. He has QQ. The only way he can win is to hit a Q and for the board to pair. Turn comes Q, and as I immediately expected upon seeing the Q on the turn the river was a 6. Deal that out and see how long it takes to hit the Q and a 6 8 or 10.
There was a lot of that. Only lost a little bit of money and I’m not upset about the money, I’m upset about it seeming like BS, not randomly generated results. The first hand I mentioned with the runner runner, the fact that he even called was suspect. This is Omaha, we have 4 cards, even if you don’t think I have the 6, I called a big preflop raises I could have Qs Ks or As. At that point calling with a J when I have about 85 percent of your stack is crazy unless you know AA is coming. There’s a lot that seems like that.
A few days ago the beginning of the previous entry was something I posted in the philosophy group on FB. This is something of a double edge sword, because I enjoy responding to the comments, but many of the commenters are pieces of shit. Their comments often fail to demonstrate an understanding of the post, some try to pull sentences out of context and try to challenge an element, then when their objection is overcome, they won’t acknowledge the point, they’ll just move onto something else shifting the controversy to something that often no longer pertains to the subject. I’ve had people who have tried to dispute things that are not even relevant to the points made even if they were right. Other people waste my time because I overcome all their objections, and instead of being grateful, they impose on my time through a bunch of BS I feel compelled to respond to because what they’re saying is wrong and I can explain it.
I wrote somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 responses, and every objection is overcome and none of my responses contradict each other. How is that possible? It’s possible because everything is motion. No matter what is stated, even if it doesn’t pertain to the subject I know what it is and how or why it does or does not produce what’s implied. Like I said it’s very rare someone understands the post well enough for us to actually have an exchange about the subject, most of this is people who are making general assertions and not explaining what qualifies something in the post as that assertion. Generic statements that say nothing because without an explanation it’s something that can be applied to any post. Even so, I respond by showing that the content doesn’t meet the definition of their assertions. This is a philosophy group with members who try to claim there is no truth, and it’s good for people to lie to themselves.
As I mentioned in previous entries that although frustrating in that exchanges often devolve into me addressing nonsense, the exchanges in themselves are not a source of hopelessness but they are a reminder of human evil through willed ignorance or self deception. Those reminders influence my mood.
My money is running low which is also a source of stress especially near the end of the month. There’s an app I use to find jobs and people post tasks across the country. I bid on a job that was 450 miles from where I was and my bid was accepted. It’s only a $200 job and after the app takes their fee I only get $170. Since I have no attachment to where I was at, it seemed better to drive 7 hours to make about $120 than to wait in an area and make no money. I received responses for two other jobs on the way to each other if they go through. One is a trampoline assembly for $300 I get $255, and the other is a 1000 linear foot trench, 6” wide and 12” deep for $1000. I’m hoping to do the trampoline Thursday and the trench Saturday and Sunday. This will give me some financial security, and then I have three projects to work on.
The trampoline assembly has not responded and without the trampoline I don’t have money to make it to the trench.
6/28/2023
It’s a sorry understanding of moral behavior to claim that a deity, religion, or authority is required for people to behave morally. Religious morality doesn’t function the same way as non-religious morality, and religion serves as a vehicle for immoral behavior.
The essence of morality, right and wrong is tied to self worth. When you understand something is wrong, committing that act reduces self worth through the acknowledgement that you are wrong for doing wrong.
Religious morality is a little bit different. It isn’t doing wrong and feeling bad because of how you perceive yourself, it’s you doing wrong and feeling bad because of how you perceive the deity perceiving you.
But the deity is forgiving. So most religious people have a very fluid morality, where morality isn’t understanding right and wrong, morality is I can do the wrong things that the deity will excuse.
I don’t speak for anyone else, but whenever I question my behavior due to some imperfection, moral or subjective, there has to be a resolution. Was the act wrong, or in subjective judgment, did I perform as poorly as I believe I did. If I was morally wrong I need to know why I committed the act, which will require analysis of my circumstances, including remembrance of thoughts and feelings. While I don’t always remember exactly what I was thinking, there’s usually a general idea and a general feeling associated with an event that has moral significance. Whether moral or subjective, I need to understand why I did the thing either to be prepared for those circumstances in the future, or to adjust a value to produce different behavior.
After that if it’s something I can make right I’ll fix it. If not, and it involves someone, I’ll typically be extra kind to that person to atone.
There has to be a resolution once I recognize that I’ve acted outside of my moral or subjective values.
For example, I was recently retained to assemble a standing baseball hoop. There was a faulty part that prevents the hoop height from being adjusted. I did everything I could and assembled it to the manufacturers specifications. This job was through an app and I have a perfect 5 star rating which helps me get jobs. Second, the money is paid to the app and it is held until the customer releases.
I told the customer to call me and I’ll come back and replace the part once the new part arrives, but I did so knowing it is extremely unlikely that I will be in the area. Why did Iie to him? Because I couldn’t provide him the satisfaction I wanted because the product was faulty, and I needed the money, and wanted to maintain my perfect review.
If I’m 500 miles away or more and it is difficult or impossible for me to make it to him what will I do? There’s only two things I can do. 1: I’ll make the trip. If I can afford it the feelings produced through honoring my commitment and essentially making the lie true will be worth the time and money. If I cannot, or if I do not want to I’ll tell him the truth as to why I told him I would come back even though when I said it I knew it would be unlikely that I would be in the area.
Religious folk, if they thought about it or are thinking I only said it because I need reviews and money, the deity understands and forgives.
Religious people don’t typically think about their behavior, they think about how to convince the deity that they’re sorry enough to be forgiven.
6/29/2023
As I’ve stated before my circumstances fluctuate between bad and worse. Today has been a swing towards the significantly worse. Last two days I’ve woken up at rest areas and my battery has been dead. I’ve gotten a jump in the morning and the battery would hold a charge while I went to the gym, worked out, went to Walmart, and then went to another rest area. I’m waiting for money from my last AirTaskers job to hit my account. I don’t have enough money to purchase a new battery until then which could have been yesterday or today, and since it hasn’t happened yet hopefully it will happen tomorrow.
I stopped at Walmart and bought some distilled water hoping the levels were low on the battery and refilling it may allow it to hold a charge longer. After refilling it I drove about 20 miles to a rest area which should have charged it. I had a ticket to play a poker tournament, planned on playing the tournament, going to the gym and hoping the money shows up in my account tomorrow, and/or hoping the water fixes my battery issue.
I rolled my windows down upon arriving at the rest area. Prior to adding the water the battery, as I stated, the battery held a charge for at least 3 to 4 hours. It began to rain. High wind storm. I put my key in the ignition and there was nothing. I asked a few people if they would pull next to me to jump my car and they refused. It has been raining for about 2 hours by now and will continue to rain for 1.5 to 2.5 more hours according to the weather. Last I checked I had about 3 inches of water on the floorboard of the back seat.
My clothes are completely saturated down to my socks. Now I’m waiting for the rain to stop and after that I’ll probably get a jump but my car is soaked. Bad to worse back to bad, but never good.
Content Withheld
6/30/2023
This is an interesting position I find myself in. It’s a position I should have seen approaching but I was too focused on the immediate circumstance of getting a battery and the mild trauma of my car flooding, witnessing, and trying to remedy those situations. If the $187 from the Airtasker job didn’t arrive today, I wouldn’t have it until Monday which meant I wouldn’t be able to pay my phone bill until Monday and would have to be around Wifi to use my phone to potentially find a job over the weekend. You can imagine my initial excitement when I checked my account and saw that the money arrived.
With the cash I had on me that put me at about $210. $55 was taken for my phone. Next order of business was the battery. I called a junkyard yesterday who wanted $50 for a used battery but it was 50 miles in the other direction. I called another junkyard and the guy told me they didn’t have a battery. Then I thought about the risk of buying a used battery where if it fails in a week or month I’m not going to be near where I bought the battery. Even though I couldn’t afford it, I bought a new battery for $75. I put $25 in the tank. Needed vape juice $17, and before I really understood where I was at I bought Taco Bell $7.
My L&T website is $20 and that’s due on the 2nd or the 5th but I get a 7 to 10 day grace period on that.
I headed in this direction because there was a $300 trampoline in Minneapolis, and a $250 trampoline just outside the NW Chicago suburbs area. The woman about the $250 trampoline responded today but I didn’t change my location on the app so she asked if I was in the area. I lied and told her I was. Moral lie since I could be discriminated against, imposed on through the denial of opportunity based on location, when where I am is irrelevant to if I am going to be there and complete the job, and the lie doesn’t significantly affect her perception of reality. Prevents imposition and doesn’t impose. Moral lie.
My original plan based on what was on the board before the battery went and the IL trampoline popped up was to do the trampoline in MN, then go to Utah for a job that was paying $1000 to basically dig a ditch 6 inches wide and1 foot deep around an area about the size of a football field described as 1000 linear feet. After that I’d take a few days to work on my projects or I was thinking about this job in Oregon for $5000 to hang up clearance bars. I sent him a message and guessed about what he was talking about, describing it as 3 bars either anchored to the floor or the ceiling. He sent me the pictures and it was what I thought it was 6 yellow bars, probably hollow steel. That job essentially comes down to 2 things. The first is if the customer will rent a scissor lift, and the second is if the weight of the polls is manageable. Outside of that I don’t think it would cost much more than about $200 in rented tools and material to complete the job.
I’d use ratchet straps to hold the pole to the scissor lift. There’s probably a bracket that fastens to the pole to allow the pole to be attached to something from the bottom. Presuming a concrete ceiling I rent a hammer drill and drill pilot holes into the concrete. Then use an impact and some large concrete anchor bolts to fasten the pole to the ceiling. That’s 80 percent. Mounting the cross bar would probably consist of cutting a hole in each pipe and connecting it with a chain.
That’s where I was a few days ago before the battery situation and before the MN trampoline stopped responding. Now I’m hoping the IL trampoline goes through tomorrow or Sunday. I might not get it until Tuesday or Wednesday but I can survive until then. In between now and whenever I’m checking CL every 10 minutes or so to find a gig.
I have $12 cash, $20 on my debit card, about 200 miles until empty in gas, 4 pieces of bread, and about 1/5th jar of peanut butter. To be fair I did have $34.20 on my debit card but I thought Id throw 14.20 on poker and see what happens. I now have $20 on my debit card is what happens 😂. In fairness to the decision I cashed out $45 from $15 a few days ago so I’d have less money overall if not for the last time. The other decision that could be criticized is the purchase of the nicotine juice. I’d much rather be hungry than be without nicotine. The decision I criticize the most was the taco bell. I could have applied that $7 to another loaf of bread and peanut butter.
I guess I still can but that $32 is precious until I get some more. If for example I see a gig in St. Louis, same day cash where I can make over $100 I need that money for gas. Even if I do the trampoline this weekend I still need that money for gas because it will probably eat up 2/3rds of my gas since there’s some city driving involved if I return to where I am now. The peanut butter and bread is also important because I can go without food when I’m not doing anything but when I find something I’m going to need energy for that. My strategy is to not do anything until I’m about to make some money. Stop eating now and just drink water until something happens.
Last few days I haven’t been to the gym because of my battery situation. Some people probably don’t have a problem with it but I didn’t want to go to the gym and then find someone to give me a jump start when I was ready to leave. Now I’m going to be without gas and energy for the gym until I find something.
I’m waiting. I never really think about fasting because it seems like such a useless exercise. But circumstances are necessitating it.
7/1/2023
Today I woke up and was monitoring CL ads between three cities I was near enough to get a job in. A job popped up about 200 miles from where I was and stated it was for today and tomorrow. I told him I could get there by about 2pm. He said to text him at 2pm to see if he wanted me to work today but he would definitely lock me in for tomorrow.
So I had to spend $20 of my $32 on fuel. At 2pm I sent a text. When he didn’t respond I called the number. When he didn’t pick up the VM stated it is a Google number. Which means this job probably isn’t a job. And now I’m 200 miles from the job prospects I had and also in a smaller market for work. Of course looking back on the area I was in there were multiple jobs on CL in the time I’ve been driving and I received a response from a prospect that I probably could have done tomorrow for $350 and now I cannot get there.
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Shortly after writing that I texted Holly asking her if she was busy? I knew she had recently received her bonus and was in a position to help me out if I asked her but there is nothing I hate more than accepting help from her. I had $12 and no work. She texted that she would call me in about an hour.
When she called me I had a chance to settle into my circumstances a little better. I wasn’t much worse off than I was previously, I had $12 instead of $32 which limited my range of work, but I could still just wait it out until some work came up. I gave her the run down of my circumstances and she wanted to help me out.
As soon as she did I secured the job for $350 but it was 500 miles away and scheduled for 10am the next morning. I drove about 400 miles stopping at 1:45am with about 2 hours left to drive in the morning. It reminded me of interstate moving. I drove about 230 miles from Chicago to St. Louis and then 400 miles to get to this job, and had another 120 miles or so to drive when I woke up.
The job went smoothly, and the generous customer gave me a $50 tip on top of $296 out of $350 I received for the assembly. It’ll take a few days for that money to hit my account but at least I know it’s coming. Hopefully I can find a job tomorrow or Tuesday.
I’m incredibly tired right now. I woke up probably at 5:45am after falling asleep a little bit after 2am. Not to mention driving 630 miles the day before. Too tired to be productive.
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People don’t want to be good, They want good to be defined by what they already are.
People don’t want to know the truth, they want the truth to be defined by what they believe.
7/3/2023
Yesterday I was assigned two trampoline assemblies I made offers on CL about a week ago. I was going to cancel the gigs because it’s a third party situation where the guy either works for a company who sells this brand of trampoline and offers installation that he subs out, or he contracts with the company to handle the installation and he’s subbing it out. I was going to cancel the jobs immediately based on my distance except that there is two of them at $200 each (I get $170 each after app fees). He gave me the numbers for the customers. I called the first customer and the call went straight to VM. I left a VM stating I was assigned to his trampoline installation and I was trying to schedule a day and time to assemble it. Then I sent a text stating the same thing. All day, no response. I contacted the app to see if I can cancel these tasks free of consequence since it’s third party.
I’m wearing down. Circumstances, including the heat, and feeling foggy based on the constant stress.
7/4/2023
Independence Day commemorates the day the wealth of this country formally declared the intent to create a nation where money would direct public policy. To their credit, they were wise enough to protect themselves from the government they were creating in case it ever came under the control of popular rule, and in doing so protected the public through the bill of rights.
The United States gets a lot of credit for offering a higher quality of life for its citizens than most countries. Most of this is a product of the industrial capacity the US gained as a result of world war two and the global monetary policy that came out of Bretton Woods followed by the petrodollar, and succeeded through global dollar proliferation, trade, and the reliance of the world economy on a strong US economy, notwithstanding some BRICS plus countries but certainly China. The point being is the quality of a country isn’t measured in the agreement of rights and the average relative quality of life compared to other nations that didn’t benefit from being the global hegemonic power and bending the world to their will as the US has. This is to say that some of the credit for the relative success of the US system is a product of abundance achieved through force, overt, covert, direct, indirect, militarily, economic, diplomatically and propaganda.
I am a proponent of capitalism, and think there are a lot of good things about the systems of government and law. Not a fan of the people, in how they function or how business, media, and governments function but the organization is sound and the functioning can be fixed by correcting imbalances and correcting the functioning of people.
By correcting the functioning of people I’m referring to mechanisms of bias that restrict intelligence and prevent communication. This can be addressed through assignment sequencing and comparison.
Inadequate opportunities for time and money need to be addressed. The Declaration of Independence proclaims that a US citizen has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Liberty is defined as the capacity to do as one pleases. And what is required to do? Access to areas and resources which reduces to money, the time to do it, and the know-how to do it where know-how is gained through time and money.
I have several legislative proposals to ensure all people have the opportunity for adequate amounts of income that will position people to achieve social mobility.
The Organization for Popular Legislation is a tool that can be used to pass popular legislation so long as the legislation being proposed is economic in nature and there are enough people in this country who need to benefit from it.
The other way to correct imbalances of political power are through Centers for Economic Planning. Essentially corporations with ownership locked to the residents of a jurisdiction, that will invest under the direction and authority of those resident owners. The CEP will grow it’s assets and the public can use their CEP to invest in politics the same as industry does presently. This isn’t a priority to me, but it is a way to exercise popular power in a government that operates through political investment. It wouldn’t be good with this people and this environment of biases.
Two groups of people who are directed to issues and given positions that are wrong about most of these ill-prioritized issues. Opinions they like about subjects they do not understand are counted as fact because it reinforces their flimsy perspectives which feels good. They’ve memorized some number of things they heard about people expressing contrary opinions so if the subject is discussed they can shift the argument to the source rather than the subject. They’re scatter brained which means they can’t follow function, they perceive life as things to be believed, and this has two consequences: first it severely limits their ability to learn because what’s being stated to them isn’t received as it’s being presented. They don’t follow one point to the next and connect the pieces like a puzzle to form the broader picture. It also means they don’t know the difference between fact and opinion or understand the requirement of causation for knowledge. I literally had an exchange with someone who stated the opinion of an expert is a fact and had no explanation as to why what they believed was true.
There are a lot of people in this country who do not understand how the things they are indifferent to play a role in shaping their circumstances and the circumstances of others.
Almost all of them suffer from the belief in magic, deities, energy, astrology, etc that they believe influences happenings on this planet despite never witnessing any result that cannot be explained through natural means. I live in a world of normalized insanity. This includes the previous paragraphs on bias as well as supernatural delusions. Their only evidence for their beliefs are mis-assigning the cause of their feelings. When they think about their deity or other superstitions the ideas make them feel good. They associate these feelings with being caused by the supernatural because that’s the idea they have during the experience.
There’s nothing I can do. My current situation is unsustainable, mentally and physically in terms of income opportunity and maintenance of assets. Maintenance of assets really just means this car isn’t going to last forever.
7/8/2023
The following is a comment left on a video produced by a YouTuber Decoy Voice where he provided commentary and reported on clashes between climate change activists and LGBT people at a pride parade. It was reported that climate activists were protesting because LGBT people didn’t denounce fossil fuels. Strange, because I didn’t know there was an authority that serves as the representative of what LGBT peoples positions are.
My Comment
Is there anything better for the climate and emissions than a group that doesn’t reproduce? No one is in any position to accuse LGBT people of not doing their part on climate change. You ask one of these activists what happens if the United States and the world stops using fossil fuel and they do not know the consequences. The world runs on oil and will increasingly run on oil peaking in 2040. The only thing that happens if we don’t produce enough oil is the price of oil goes up. It’s also foolish to restrict US companies since global demand will be supplied regardless of whether American companies will make money supplying it. The electric car industry sells hundreds of thousands of cars which tells us manufacturing capacity isn’t much greater than that even if consumers wanted and could afford the cars. Oil can only be phased out through demand.
Grid energy should be priority to reduce emissions since the impact of people driving electric cars powered by coal or natural gas electricity isn’t very significant. There was a way probably 20 years ago to have a rapid transition to renewable energy and only if followed globally could we have reduced emissions to avoid catastrophic warming by next century.
It is still important to reduce emissions but we’re probably past the point where we can avoid major changes to what areas are habitable on the planet by addressing emissions alone. The permafrost has already melted much more than it was supposed to by this point and the permafrost holds about 400ppm equivalent of carbon for the atmosphere after ocean scrubbing. (The estimated amount of metric tonnage, compared to metric tonnage with present concentration minus 30 percent that will be absorbed by the ocean.)
There was a recent study that claimed aerosols could be safely used to reduce the temperature of the poles to preserve the polar caps. Cost about 9 billion dollars. Its reasonable to believe that this process can be used to cool any area of the planet. A big part of implementation will be for commercial interests to find a way of benefiting from a cooler climate in an area and then government will fund the effort. Shortly after the study I was published it was announced that the whitehouse financed a 5 year study on using aerosols to cool the planet. Unfortunately, when aerosols decay they destroy ozone, so using aerosols to cool the planet is not a viable option, but this should be the approach to addressing climate change. We need to figure out a way to cool the planet because we’re not going to avoid catastrophic warming through reduction of emissions or carbon scrubbing.
These activists know next to nothing. Their position is based on opinions they don’t understand accepted as fact, and the position gives them opportunities to feel good through the improvement of self worth in morally affirming behavior. It creates social opportunities and the activities themselves create opportunities for status within the group. It’s not about the cause or addressing the cause but about feelings associated with the position and activities, and opportunities for social interaction.
Funny that they can’t see how LGBT people are already the greenest people on the planet since they’re not giving birth to new carbon footprints in most cases.
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This was a comment on a post by someone who stated that atheism was the answer to the question do you believe there is a god? Why do religious people want to make it something more than this?
My initial comment was kind of a challenge to the idea that religious people try to make it something more than that. I think religious people do well in debates with atheists by only making it about the question of if a creator exists and not bringing the specifics of their deity into the debate.
There’s my comment, a reply from an atheist on my comment, and reply to his response. Following this there was some back and forth on my third comment but I’m not going to post it because it’s essentially him making claims he doesn’t support with fact or reason and refusing to acknowledge the evidence provided.
Orion Simerl Atheism has no explanation for existence. Like religion it’s the assertion of something that is not known.
I think religious people do well in debates with atheists when they make it about not knowing the cause of existence because it’s the one rational point they can make without bringing their irrational and contradictory deities to the table.
Tom Marting that’s correct, atheists look to astrophysicists and cosmologists for explanations of existence. They don’t make unfounded assertions, they have lots of mathematical and empirical evidence backing up their claims.
Orion Simerl Except for atheism itself because atheism excludes a possibility without any evidence. It’s reasonable to believe that a universe that exists to create conscious beings was created by something conscious. Atheism rejects the notion without any evidence.
The universe exists to create life. Beginning as hydrogen and through the four forces stars develop and in exhausting their fuel and sometimes exploding, create heavier elements that create more complex structures with the most complex thing the universe can create being life.
I’m not an atheist in the sense that I do not reject the idea that consciousness existed prior to the universe but I also reject the idea that there is a god as people conceive it.
Why does a universe exist to produce life?
What’s the problem with a space of unlimited potential? The problem is that eventually you will create and experience everything you want to and then existence becomes a burden. Even if there are billions of beings in that space who interact, the space is limited by the experiences of the beings within that space. It’s a problem that cannot be solved by creating beings within the space because new beings are a different assembly of values but are still limited by the preexisting experiences.
To create new beings and new experiences requires something that produces random results with the potential for life. That is what the universe does.
Based on the purpose of the universe as is observable, I see the universe as something that solves a problem for many beings, not something that was created to stroke a creators ego to be worshiped, obeyed, and praised by his creation, but I also don’t see the universe as the cause of existence but rather an effect of something we don’t have the ability to observe, but may have the ability to deduce.
7/11/2023
I began to experience an unmanageable amount of pain from the blood clots in my left leg. I went to ER to see if I could get a dose of Eliquis which can provide pain relief from the blood clots. To my surprise they were going to treat me with intravenous blood thinners but then decided that they would provide me Eliquis from their pharmacy.
It’s only been a day, but previously when I’ve been given Eliquis the pain begins to subside within a few hours of taking it. Today after a workout of biceps and back I stepped on the treadmill where I typically do a fast incline walk for about a half hour. After about two minutes the calf was on fire and maximumly pumped. There was a good degree of pain present that didn’t recede for 15 minutes when I decided to cut my cardio short and get off the machine.
Not in a particularly good mood today. The day started off poorly playing poker. I took 4th in an Omaha high low tournament I usually make the final table on maybe 1 in 5 attempts and won $135 on the $10 tournament. I cashed out $110, finished paying back Holly, and kept $25 to play with this morning. It may be coincidence but I had some horrible luck on the tourneys I played with that $25. I feel like I should have cashed the whole thing out, and then made another deposit the next time I wanted to play. Could be coincidence, but had super unlikely things happening much more frequently than they are supposed to happen. Flop is A 2 4 rainbow and I have 3 5 for the straight. My opponent raises I reraise and we jam. He has a pair of aces. The turn is a jack and the river is a jack. I win that hand probably better than 9 out of 10x. People hitting flushes calling with garbage on rainbow flops and catching runner runner suits. Non-stop dominated and then they river a second pair or something.
After this I had a few things I wanted to add to Liberty the Definitive Moral Truth. I grabbed my laptop and it no longer turns on. I did some of what I wanted to do through the phone but the problem with the phone is I can’t tell the distance. I don’t know where the words are in relation to the page and instead of the footnotes being at the bottom of the page they appear at the end of the document through phone application of Google Docs. I need to buy another laptop.
I also only took two scoops of phenibut today because I’m just about out. I tried ordering more today but the website wasn’t working. It’s also going to put me very low on money, in the neighborhood of $150 if I do. But phenibut plays a big role in allowing me to hold myself together while I either try to regroup or I don’t. I’m not going to start going down that road here since I’ve explained exactly why I’m at where I’m at now and why I don’t believe my circumstances can improve. I agree, it makes sense to check out of a hopeless situation, but as I’ve also written before there’s no emotional pain, so there’s nothing really driving that objective, other than it making a lot of sense in the recognition that the truth cannot penetrate bias, and so a man attempting to communicate truth cannot be effective in communication among a species whose understanding is built on bias.
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I see all these grifting organizations with ads on FB, sometimes I comment as much. Someone asked me yes or no response to my comment this was in reference to the poll the organization was promoting, is systemic racism driving mass incarceration?
Orion Simerl The answer is no. Poverty drives mass incarceration evidenced by the median pre incarceration income of inmates being about half the median income of the general population. Also evidenced by the fact that the lower the household income a male is born into the higher the chance he will be in prison in his 30s. Income is the greatest predictor of incarceration, as it is the greatest predictor for most negative outcomes. Since black people disproportionately represent lower income households due to PAST systemic racism they commit more crimes and the disparity between black and white incarceration rates is incorrectly assigned to race. Of course white people in whole numbers are more than twice as likely to be impoverished than black people and commit more than twice as much crime overall. More evidence that race is not driving mass incarceration is studies on criminal justice outcomes. Although whites typically have better outcomes than blacks Asians have better outcomes than whites. If criminal justice proceedings were influenced by race whites would have the best outcomes. Asians have the highest median income in the country which is why they have the best criminal justice outcomes. There’s a lot to unpack in that explanation I won’t go into here.
What the grifter does is take a cause out of context to capitalize on the popularity of the cause and use it for their advantage. They’re not concerned with racism or mass incarceration or they would study it objective to understand the problem and propose solutions. In doing so they would recognize that all problems are rooted in self deception and inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money. Oplnow.com
Ross Nesbitt Obviously racism drives mass incarceration.
Orion Simerl You have no argument, explanation, or evidence for your position. It’s the equivalent to me saying Sasquatch is driving mass incarceration, it means nothing. Meanwhile I cited three different studies demonstrating the correlation between incarceration and income showing that mass incarceration is driven by inadequate opportunities for people to earn money. Then I pointed out that since a disproportionate amount of black people are poor it will produce a racial correlation, but racism isn’t the reason black people are disproportionately incarcerated, it’s the disproportionate amount who are poor, which drives crime, which leads to incarceration. This assertion is supported by the study that Asians have the best outcomes in criminal defense proceedings. If criminal justice proceedings are influenced by race then white people should have the best criminal defense outcomes. They do not because Asian people have the highest median income.
Additionally, I was incarcerated for 6 years between the age of 14 to 24, in juvenile and adult facilities, at the county and state level. Shawshank Redemption is just a movie. People talk about their cases constantly especially if they’re still going to court because they want people to tell them things are going to be okay when they go to court. I can’t recall a single person in that time who was locked up because of racism. I know the idea that racism is driving mass incarceration is bullshit based on the data, and from having been a criminal.
7/15/2023
I was 3 days in Michigan after the job and hospital. There was maybe one CL gig I might have missed because I wasn’t checking during that time but there really wasn’t much going on. I’m in need of money, and began looking on Air Taskers nationwide. I made some offers about 500 miles away and one accepted my offer. I sent him a message but he didn’t respond yet which makes me uneasy, when I’m investing about a third of my money in the trip. There’s a lot of Airtaskers stuff going on in that area.
Finding work through these mediums has been difficult for awhile, where in Denver in 2017-2018 I could find enough work to accumulate money. In Indiana, Ohio, Illinois, Michigan, Minnesota, over the last few months I’ve averaged at best two days of work a week, possibly less. It’s been unsustaining. I don’t have money for phenibut and I already feel that in my mood. I usually begin my day with a scoop of pre-work out and phenibut. Yesterday I ran out of both and while I could have replaced them it’s an expense that will create financial insecurity. My vape stopped working. I decided to buy a pack of cigarettes to hold me over until I have 40 expendable dollars to buy a vape and juice since I’m low on juice. Disposable vapes often only last about a day.
I bring the cigarette purchase up because there was a biased thought either based on something I heard or something I heard that wasn’t related to vaping. I thought I heard and should therefore look up if vaping can cause blood clots. I was smoking a cigarette while I was thinking that. I recognized almost immediately that the thought was a product of a desire to smoke cigarettes.
Even if there were a general correlation observed through study, in my case I vaped for 14 months and did not develop blood clots over that span after I had the blood clots that led to a pulmonary embolism. Each time I experienced blood clots was some time after living out of my car and not moving enough. Subconsciously, cigarettes are valued objectives, so my subconscious will create thought objectives to influence my conscious mind to choose cigarettes which produce a better feeling than vaping.
I typically don’t smoke because when I have a vape, vaping is cheaper. Vaping also doesn’t seem to increase blood pressure and decrease respiratory performance the way that cigarettes do. That’s important especially when you’re performing a lot of labor intensive work. We can’t all be Nicolino Locche. I also don’t like to smell like smoke.
I’ve needed contacts for about 4 months now. I’m down to one that has a piece torn off the side of it. The other one ripped a few weeks ago and is unwearable.
Conventional wisdom states that if I cannot afford my expenses through my current method for income that I need to work a regular job. It’s a decision that comes down to the commitment not being worth the benefit. Previously when I’ve worked regular jobs it’s been about accumulating money to promote the material. I’ve done that and still can’t make it past being ignored. Efforts chronicled through this journal.
I cannot commit to the indefinite service of someone else’s economic interests for contacts, phenibut, and the security of a regular income. That’s essentially what it is. I’m hanging in here waiting for a new promotional strategy but it’s unlikely that anything is forthcoming.
Deception sells, the truth does not. I have the most comprehensive understanding of the role morality plays in human behavior, I’ve identified objective morality and the principles of applications, I’ve identified the subconscious decision making process and subconscious functions down to the production of thoughts, I’ve created an organization that could pass legislation at the federal level if people were aware enough to recognize and act on their own interests, I have several legislative proposals that would improve income opportunities for the bottom 50 percent of income earners, as well as other legislative ideas to address impediments to individual liberty, I have explanations of political and economic functions, and popular issues, and I also have the most likely explanation of existence based on what we observe in the universe.
I live in a world dominated by bias, people choosing facts based on how the information makes them feel. To tie it into the original idea, people want to smoke too much. Just parallel from my thoughts about smoking which were clearly the product of my desire to smoke. The difference is I can recognize it, and people cannot.
Seems like rough weather ahead, figuratively, because after fees I’m only making $170 on the job I’m driving 500 miles to do. After fuel about $100 to $110. Otherwise I do what? Sit where I’m at, hope something comes up spending 10 to 15 dollars per day? Hopefully I can find a few jobs out that way and get myself caught up. Vape, phenibut, contacts, oil change, tire, website, and phone bill, and enough financial security for a week or two to form a new plan.
7/18/2023
I did a job in New Jersey, I was inclined to make the trip on a trampoline assembly for $200 because it seemed like there were other jobs in the area. Or maybe I thought things were closer than they actually were. I did the assembly and went to a rest area in New York. Now I’m waiting for that money to hit my account to figure out what the next move is.
I went to a Walmart and there are no plastic bags at checkout. What do they think they are accomplishing? Whats happening, that is going to stop happening because the state of New York has prohibited retailers from supplying customers with plastic bags? The explanation from NYSFocus.com is that “plastic bags pollute streets and water ways, block storm drains, and hamper the municipal recycling efforts.”. Do you know what else does the same thing? Every other potential piece of litter. Are any of those objectives accomplished through a plastic bag ban? No, because every other potential piece of litter, which by the way probably becomes more prevalent without plastic bags, pollute the streets and water ways, block storm drains, and hamper municipal recycling efforts.
All you’ve accomplished is inconveniencing your citizens and possibly increasing the incidence of litter for a law that will encourage stupid people to vote for you. Insane. The area I’m at, almost no one brought bags with them to the store. I kinda like that in em, although I may be reading intent into the action that isn’t there. Without knowing, I see the act of people not bringing bags for their groceries as saying they don’t agree with the policy. They may not be, but it seems like that otherwise you would think more people would have made a few dollar investment into some reusable bags.
I don’t like the topography out here either. It’s difficult to gauge distances and everything takes longer to get to and more gas as opposed to flatter areas of the country.
I do not feel good being off of phenibut. With phenibut I’m aware of the impending disaster but I don’t feel it. Without the phenibut I feel it, and it influences my thoughts, and I feel uneasy. Decision making seems more difficult. Not having caffeine is also rough. I should have got some instant coffee.
The customer for the trampoline had an odd story I wanted to mention because there’s an implied expectation. He said his wife raised abused rabbits and did something to do with cancer with them. I don’t know if she did or didn’t, but I thought to say I bet that makes her feel good, but didn’t want to risk him understanding that I was saying the act doesn’t improve my opinion of his wife. I didn’t see his wife or the rabbits. As bad as I needed that money I didn’t want to risk it. Also didn’t want to risk my review since half my pitch for jobs on this app is my 5 star ratings.
He said he wanted to put it together with his kids to teach them life skills, but if they have ambition and money they may never need them. They can just rent the skills of others when they require them. This guy had a 1 number address. His kids will probably be alright without life skills.
Very friendly guy though. He started putting it together himself but put the first piece on upside down and stripped the Allen head. I used pliers to take it off and put it back on. Wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t put it in his customer review. My customer reviews include the good and omit the bad. I don’t know if they see my review before they leave their review. I might have 4 starred him because his communication habits created a little bit of anxiety for me. It took a day for him to contact me about a day and time, and then I had to remind him to send me the address the night before the job. If my circumstances were different these things probably wouldn’t have had that effect.
Today through the site he was offering $200 to organize two closets. I presumed if he wanted me to do it he would have called me, but I sent him a text asking anyway. Would have been nice. Missed a moving job today. It was only an $80 load but right now, especially until that payment goes through, $80 greatly expands the things that I can do. I need to find something so I can catch back up on my necessities.
7/20/2023
I was listening to NPR today and there were two stories that were both efforts to make something appear other than what they were. A country musicians song and video being promoted as racially inflammatory and offensive, despite the lyrics containing nothing that is overtly racist, and the song essentially being an anthem of country folk looking out for one another, where if what was taking place in a lot of big cities across the country was tried in some of the small towns the community would defend itself.
When you cannot show racism in law enforcement, criminal justice outcomes, employment opportunities, housing opportunities, in the application of law, or access to services public or private, it has to be interpreted into existence. Some would contend that race can be shown to correlate to the aforementioned, but all of those racial correlations have economic causes. Income produces disparities in outcomes, and since a greater proportion of poc begin poor there are racial disparities but caused by inadequate opportunities for income. Which means a greater proportion of poc are disadvantaged but not because of race and face no greater disadvantage than the poor white people who begin in similar economic situations who outnumber them 2 to 1.
Racism has to be interpreted into existence as is being done here. A man writes a song and it’s interpreted in a way in which it was not intended. But it keeps people’s minds on race. It’s a product of those who seek to reinforce that perspective, they’re looking for opportunities to call something something that it isn’t. Even if it was it isn’t any indication of how poc are treated in this country and doesn’t represent a barrier to opportunity. Obviously it’s not, because the song is about treating people based on their behavior. What would happen if people behaved like that in a small town?
You have something that clearly isn’t racist based on the content of the song, but people who want to believe that it is believe that it is, and they add it to the safe of false things believed to be true that distort their perception of reality. This causes them to prioritize problems that are not problems, while the real issue of disadvantage which is inadequate opportunities for people to have time and money are ignored. They cannot be communicated with, because facts that challenge their beliefs cannot be established. They’ll be biased against everything that serves their interests just because you are the source of advancing those interests, because you’re also the source of information that challenges their beliefs. There’s a debate with a person named Tammy Gibson about the round up service charge from a month or two ago that seems like an example of that.
It’s easier to market race and frivolous legislation geared towards addressing the problem that isn’t a problem, than it is to market substance.
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The second story was about whether there were civilian casualties in a raid of an Isis chief in Syria in 2019. NPR reduces the question to one example and the example is poor. There was a van near the compound that contained civilians. The US military fired at the van because they wanted it to stop. Of course that can have the opposite effect and it did. When it did it was fired on it, kept going to get away from the gunfire, and then was blown up by a helicopter with a rocket. Two of the passengers died and one survived.
They obtained the pentagon’s report about the incident and then had an expert opinion about the report that can be summarized as the pentagon’s sticking to the story of what the soldiers believed at the time and not acknowledging what’s known retrospectively.
The report is state propaganda, because it paints the US as making mistakes in well intended missions. Typically the US doesn’t make mistakes, in a hostile area during the Obama Administration any combat aged male was considered a combatant. This was the same idea promoted by the media about Vietnam, that it was a mistake strategically, not that it was morally wrong to deny people their right to self determination and kill 2 to 3 million of them in the effort to deny them that right.
Whether the US accidentally killed 2 civilians and injured a 3rd in a raid on an Isis compound is only relevant to the survivor trying to sue for damage. It’s no indication of US concern for civilian casualties if a foreign policy objective can be accomplished through the death of civilians.
Isis and the civil war in Syria were both created by US foreign policy. Syria held a referendum, 55 percent turned out and the people passed a new constitution addressing the demands of term limits and non Baath party members serving in government. Instead the US and other western governments supported Islamic militants that fueled a civil war. Many in Syria were joined by others in Libya who the US supported to remove Qaddafi, and also the removal of Saddam Hussein who contained radical elements in Iraq, and in decimating these places leaving people without jobs and income also drove people into radical militant groups. The US armed, trained, and supported these groups.
7/21/2023
NPR was still on from the day before. There was a psychologist who expressed vague opinions about parent adult-child relationships, a story about the Russian coup attempt, and the third story was about republican redistricting in the 2022 midterms in Alabama that as expected was made about race where there were no racial elements present.
The story of interest is the conflation of race with political party affiliation. NPR reported that Alabama republicans drew up a district map that fragmented black votes. The democrats do the same thing trying to move the line on contested districts into areas that primarily vote democrat. Is it racially motivated when they do it or are they trying to gain an advantage in elections by including more of their likely voters for contested seats?
For example,(not based on actual districts), if the Republicans have certain victory in district 1 and district 2 is contested, if they’re redrawing maps they’re going to want to move the line from district 2 into district 1 which will give them more republican voters. Second, if they know they’re going to lose district 3 they could move the line from 3 into an area of 2 that votes mostly democrat. Maybe the area of district 2 that district 3 moves into is urban and primarily black but also primarily democratic voters. Then yes, republicans have fragmented the black vote by funneling their votes into a district that doesn’t need them, but that isn’t the intent. It’s not racially motivated, no one from the party is thinking how do we marginalize black voters, they’re thinking how do we have fewer votes for democrats in a contested district. What area has the highest concentration of democrat voters where we can create a justification to move the line. It implies racism when the act isn’t motivated by race. If republicans accused democrats of trying to marginalize white voters everyone on the left would know that gerrymandering is intent on changing vote totals, not marginalizing people based on race.
I’ve had a lot of posts lately in response to race. This isn’t me choosing to cover the topic, I’m responsive of to my surroundings. These posts represent the frequency with which race is promoted where I’m responding to what I see and hear, not seeking out the information to challenge it.
I just recognize race promotion as the greatest obstacle to the achievement of class goals that aim to improve income opportunities for the bottom 50 percent of income earners.
7/28/2023
One thing that phenibut did for me is dampened the stress of my circumstances. Made them seem less overwhelming which increased the possibility of becoming motivated. I’ve been engaging in a lot of distractive behavior over the last month, and really since December when I left Vegas and all efforts to be acknowledged proved fruitless, but more so in the last month, last weeks.
I’m aware of how the subconscious mind functions. Always set to an objective to produce a positive feeling including avoiding objects and objectives that produce negative feelings. And comparisons between positive and positive feelings, and comparisons between positive in the immediate or the future being worth negative feelings in the immediate or the future.
In 10 years, through every conceivable medium available to me, in person, phone, email, etc, every act fails to produce the desired result which of course has negative feelings attached to it. Subconsciously efforts I consciously consider to be productive are avoided because of the mountain of impressions where the lack of results have produced negative feelings.
These feelings are not caused by rejection. They come from knowing you’re not being understood, and learning why you’re not understood, which is largely the preservation of bias through both conscious and subconscious mechanisms. This is consciously unmotivating because I know people’s attention and interest in things is motivated by feelings (that they do not understand) and information that challenges beliefs will turn them away, and often will prevent the information from being understood. This puts me in the unenviable position of being the promoter of beneficial information, insights, ideas, and discoveries, that cannot be communicated because of biases.
After Vegas (last location of canvasing promotions, but did some phone and email solicitations following Vegas), I don’t know what to do. When people who stand to earn $5 to $15 more per hour through legislation that serves all affected interests are not interested in what you’re promoting, the impossible task (convincing people to understand and act on their own best interests) seems that much more impossible. An impossible task for people to recognize and act on their own best interests.
I’ve explained these things more thoroughly in other areas of the journal. The point of returning to it is just to express that I don’t know what to do, because everything that should work with rational people does not work with the people in this country, and probably the world over. They’re not motivated by their own interests, they’re motivated by maintaining their inconsistent, contradictory, and incomplete beliefs. These things are required for the maintenance of their perspectives that allow them to experience joy from the things they experience joy from in life.
The one big mistake I made was not hiring someone when I left Premier. I was very paranoid, worried I would be hiring and firing uninterested and unproductive people. The one high point was a few years ago I put an ad on CL to read a few paragraphs and answer the questions and whoever answers the questions the best won some money. It only yielded a handful of responses but one person answered every question correctly except for a bonus question that wasn’t in the material. It demonstrated an understanding of the material, or at least the ability to connect the questions with the answers within the material. For example, you could read a few paragraphs on physics and answer questions by finding the answers in the paragraph without really understanding what it means. It could have been that, but the point is people can at least become interested through their interest in money, and not spending half the money I had to float 6 to 8 weeks of an assistant/student at $500 to $600 per week was my biggest strategic regret.
For a while I enjoyed comment exchanges through FB until you realize that bias precludes people from understanding. I can answer every question, I can show the deficiencies and inapplicability of an argument, but it doesn’t serve any purpose if people do not understand what’s being stated. There are several exchanges where people show they don’t understand the post they have an opinion about. Some of these are in this journal while I planned to create a project around these exchanges. They’re organic arguments that demonstrate biases and strong opinions about things people do not understand. I believe I started writing the intro awhile back but haven’t returned to it because of a lack of motivation. I’m writing it for what? To add another unbought, and unread book to my catalog? That’s the kind of thing phenibut helps with, that little bit of mood enhance that pushes me to resume and I at least enjoy the activity. I mention FB because impressions from the many long exchanges have caused me to abandon that, the same as in person, phone, and email solicitations. On FB it’s worse, because there are points I reach where it seems impossible for a person to be that stupid, so I think they do understand and are pretending not to just to aggravate me.
There have of course been positive exchanges but the depth of even these people’s understanding cannot be very deep and is often agreement on the margins. Evident by the fact they haven’t purchased any books.
I wrote an email the other day I didn’t send that was a pretty sober assessment of my circumstances.
“I know why I’m at where I’m at and am no longer trying. 10 years of promotional efforts, in person, through phone, through email etc and being unable to even get a response that demonstrates that anything has been understood or in some cases knowing I’m not being understood produces negative feelings and its difficult to motivate yourself to keep doing the same thing that doesn’t feel good. In consideration of what I understand about this species there’s nothing else to do. So since I can’t do what I want I’m doing nothing. My options are to waste my talents, insights, ideas and discoveries while being productive in a menial capacity to maintain comfort, or to do the bare minimum to survive and waste myself.
Soon I’ll be doing less. Car isn’t going to last forever and I cannot find enough work independently to sustain myself. Not willing to work a regular job and endure all the BS that comes with it since the upside of the comfort isn’t worth the downside of the commitment. I’ll be back to a bag, state benefits, on the streets or in a shelter.”
I assembled a trampoline today, hopefully something else will come up tomorrow or the following day because I need to order some phenibut to regain some motivation. I also need a new tire. My driver’s side rear tire has been damn near completely bald for about the last 1500 miles. I often think driving down steep declines and turns like through 68 across West Virginia that I might be doing real bad if this tire goes at that moment. Especially when I’m in that situation and next to a semi. I think if this tire blows at this speed and decline it might fling me underneath a semi. It’s not scary, I just think about it matter of factly. Most of the time I’m in that situation because I’m trying to maximize my mpgs.
I probably need about two weeks worth of steady work to get caught up on necessities, phenibut, tire, oil change, contacts, laptop (my Chromebook doesn’t turn on anymore) and a little bit of financial security to regroup. Or about 8 decent app jobs within about a 2 week period.
8/7/2023
I’ve lost all chemical mood enhancers that reduce stress and can create windows where I can become inspired and be productive. I haven’t been able to afford phenibut and an officer in Easton, PA, confiscated my marijuana.
I slept at a Walmart parking lot in Easton near Bethlehem, PA. The following morning after stowing my sleeping bag and pillow in the trunk I emptied my piss jug in the storm drain. I returned to my car looking on Google maps for a place to do my laundry. I was approached by an officer who asked what I dumped down the storm drain. I told him I spent the night there and had to use the bathroom and emptied a piss jug.
He asked for ID which I provided to identify myself as is required per his investigation. He asked me to step out of the car which I complied with as I am required to do for officer safety according to Pennsylvania v. Mimms. Although the case law is applicable to a traffic stop and this was not a traffic stop it contained the same elements and is probably applicable, since I am in a car and the officer is conducting an investigation the same as if it were a traffic stop.
At some point while waiting for my ID to come back from dispatch he informed me that he saw a marijuana stem in the car. He asked if he could search and threatened to walk the the K9 around informing me of the full extent of the consequences if I refused. I said doesn’t the marijuana stem constitute reasonable suspicion to search? He said yes but still asked if he had my permission to search.
In hindsight, he has reasonable suspicion to search but must investigate that suspicion in the least invasive way possible. That means he has reasonable suspicion to walk the dog around and conduct an open air sniff, and if the dog alerts this would provide him reasonable suspicion or maybe even probable cause to search the vehicle without my consent.
It would have been a crap shoot that I probably would have lost. Earlier in the morning this officer drove behind my car while I was parked and I only knew he was there because I turned around to hear his dog barking. It’s possible he had the window down and the dog already alerted on my car. He couldn’t act on that because he had no reason to be investigating me.
I told him I had a small amount of marijuana and a pipe in my center console and gave him permission to search. He confiscated the marijuana and then wrote me a ticket for dumping piss down the storm drain, saying he couldn’t let me get off scottfree for the marijuana but didn’t want to write me a ticket for it because the state would have an issue with him for not charging me with it especially since I’m from another state.
He gave me a state citation for disorderly conduct but the act doesn’t meet the letter of the law. He wrote “the defendant did create a physically offensive condition when he dumped his urine bottle down the storm drain.”
5503. Disorderly Conduct
(a) Offense defined.–A person is guilty of disorderly conduct if, with intent to cause public inconvenience, annoyance or alarm, or recklessly creating a risk thereof, he:
(4) creates a hazardous or physically offensive condition by any act which serves no legitimate purpose of the actor.
The citation is in reference to subsection 4, the first three subsections are clearly not applicable and this is what the officer mentioned in his citation.
Physically offensive requires a direct assault on the senses or an invasion of privacy.
Com. v. Williams, 394 Pa. Super. 90, 574 A.2d 1161 (Pa. Super. Ct. 1990)
“Although a precise definition of “physically offensive condition” is elusive, this term encompasses direct assaults on the physical senses of members of the public. A defendant may create such a condition if she sets off a “stink bomb”, strews rotting garbage in public places, or shines blinding lights in the eyes of others. See Model Penal Code and Commentaries § 250.2 commentary at 347 (Official Draft and Revised Comments 1980).”
Dumping a urine bottle down a storm drain only qualifies if the urine is smelled by other people otherwise there has been no direct assault on the physical senses for the act to be considered physically offensive and meet the definition of disorderly conduct.
The storm drain was located in a portion of the parking lot where there were neither cars nor people over 100 yards away from the entrance.
I have a number to call to dispute the citation. It’s a non traffic sliding penalty citation so there has to be some kind of hearing either via phone or video call to determine the penalty and during this time I should be able to dispute it.
Otherwise it should be thrown out if I’m able to talk to whatever state attorney handles these citations.
It’s a strange situation where I’m upset that he 1st probably violated my civil rights by driving through the parking lot with the window cracked and essentially searching my vehicle without reasonable suspicion or probable cause. Second that he used the pretext of a marijuana stem (I don’t know if there was or wasn’t I assumed there was since I smoke weed in my car) to search my car to seize my property and impact my mood when he could have left me the fuck alone.
Marijuana prohibition is immoral because it imposes for an act that is unimposing, where the act of possessing marijuana doesn’t impose on others and the consumption of marijuana does not create behavior in users that increases the likelihood that they will impose on others. I still support marijuana prohibition where it is still illegal because it creates an opportunity for disadvantaged people to earn money and have time through the manufacture and sale of marijuana. In states where it is legal this opportunity is taken from the poor and handed to those who have the resources to comply with state regulations, and legalization destroys the market.
Even in states where marijuana is still illegal the market has been so saturated through stars that have legalized marijuana that it’s much less worthwhile than it used to be. In the early 2000s you could cop a pound for 3800, sell quarter pounds 1200, they could sell oz 350, quarters for 100, 8ths for 55 to 60, 16ths for 35, and depending on the volume you could move there was a decent amount of money to be had. Now the market value is probably near half that in most places. Which means my support of prohibition, in the opportunities it creates for disadvantaged people, is probably no longer valid.
8/11/2023
I called the township of Nazareth, PA about the ticket I received. In the previous entry I stated I received the ticket in Bethlehem, or Easton which is the Google Maps location of the Walmart but the ticket went to the Nazareth township. The clerk told me I have a $50 fine and the total costs were roughly $200. The only way to dispute the citation is to send the plea form back with $50 and then I’d be given a court date. I have about $130 on me, I haven’t been able to find any work for 5 days so I just won’t be back in PA.
What upsets me most about the situation is some piece of shit with a law degree reviewed the citation to determine the fine. He’s clearly incompetent or does his job with such a level of unenthusiastic indifference that he sees physically offensive and does not realize or care that in order for an act to be physically offensive it has to directly impose on the senses of someone, which clearly the act does not; since there were no people present in the area where it was poured. (See case law previous entry). I won’t have an opportunity to present the case law and defend myself so it is what it is.
Important to recognize as I have chronicled on previous occasions that my race, gender, and sexuality served no advantage in the avoidance of this outcome. The only circumstance that could have changed this outcome is if I had more money or opportunities for income. There are countless ways the interaction wouldn’t have occurred or could have occurred differently but if all things occurred the same way, if I have even $500 to my name I’m in a position to send back the form with $50, and appear for a court date to have the ticket dismissed. Instead I’ll have a warrant in PA because I cannot afford to have the law upheld on my behalf.
If I survive long enough I’ll be headed back down south soon. Or maybe to the wretched west coast and take advantage of whatever homeless programs that are offered. Probably not. I’m on a very long circling the drain trajectory.
About two weeks at a rest area in Morrisville, PA I woke up to find a man leaning against my car smoking a cigarette a few feet from me. I sleep with the windows down when it’s hot outside. I said can I help you? He apologized stating he has a white car and thought he was leaning on his car. Clearly bullshit but he was walking away so no force was really warranted for him standing next to me as I slept. The following day there were no fewer than 5 cigarette butts by my rear tire, all the same brand. This man smoked 5 cigarettes before I noticed him. Strange, the kind of thing someone might do who is contemplating stabbing somebody in the neck while they’re sleeping.
I’ve been out of Eliquis for about a week now. I don’t think the blood clots ever went away. The resting pain of the clots has subsided but when I’m on the treadmill I can still feel them in my calf.
8/13/2023
The last job I was able to find was on August 5th. This shit doesn’t make any sense. There are 3 mediums I use to find work. One rarely works, and two are intermittent. On one of the mediums there have been plenty of postings for jobs I usually get but no one has accepted my bids and most haven’t even responded to me which is what doesn’t make any sense. There have been 8 trampoline assemblies I’ve responded to. I have 9 completed trampolines through this app and 5 star service reviews on each assembly. What’s even stranger is these customers have ignored my response and reposted the listings.
There was a basketball hoop assembly, I have a basketball hoop assembly with a 5 star rating. The customer responded stating they found someone to assemble the hoop presumably outside of the app since I’m the only person who responded but stated they would get back to me if that person didn’t show up. The next day the listing was reposted but the customer didn’t respond to me.
It isn’t as if there’s strong competition and as I stated in most of these listings I’m the only person to respond. I see the competition when there are other people bidding. Outside of GA, and CA where the app has a strong presence most of the people bidding on these jobs either have not done a job through the app and their responses are poor, or they have sub 5 ratings meaning their previous customers were not completely satisfied, or they don’t have 100 percent completion rates meaning they bid on jobs they couldn’t do.
There’s one customer who responded to me who is 700 miles away for a $250 job. I keep about $210 after the app takes their fee. I have $100 and it’ll cost me $70 to get there assuming my car holds up. As I mentioned about 700 miles ago I have a tire that can go at any time. It’s been in that condition for probably the last 3000 miles, no tread, like a racing slick. I haven’t been able to make enough money to afford the 50 to 70 dollars to buy a used one.
Another app I use has listings but I bid on the jobs and usually they’re not accepted. I’ve only done a few jobs through that app, none of them recently, and the app doesn’t allow you to introduce yourself. The company sees your skills and rating and that’s it. I had two 5s and a 0 which gives me a low rating. The 0 came because I bid a job but found something more lucrative through CL. At the time it was $85 for a 5 hour shift at Good Will or a moving job where I made in the neighborhood of $250.
That app is primarily manufacturing jobs and warehouse work. I’m seeing jobs in Ohio and South Eastern MI and it’s very telling about the labor market. Most of the listings are $13.to $15 per hour, one was $10 per hour. In my desperation I bid on some of these and I’m still not selected. Which shows that people are responding to and working for these paltry sums.
I’ve postponed my demise through an app where I can earn small amounts of money by playing mobile games. I’ve made about $60 in the last 10 days which I clearly need.
8/17/2023
My last I don’t know how many entries have been on the ongoing deterioration of my circumstances and that bothers me more than the deterioration of my circumstances. Most of this journal contains systemic and behavioral insight, analysis, dialectics, and moral application among other useful and interesting information that has become blanketed in the chronicling of my misfortune. I probably have no fewer than 15 pages of other entries I’ve written and have not posted. My hardship is only relevant if my material ever reaches public consciousness, and there’s no reason to believe that it will.
In summary, after 8 days without any work and a desire to leave Ohio, I drove 700 miles to do a treadmill assembly for $212 ($250, but $212 after app fees). When I left I thought I had $100 but actually had about $20 less. I remember checking my debit card balance but I must have checked it before I made roughly a $20 purchase at Walmart and didn’t realize it until I was about 200 miles from my destination. This left me in a very uncomfortable predicament that fortunately resolved itself better than I anticipated.
Roughly about 120 miles from the job and having about enough gas to make it to the job I had $17. I also know I need fuel to get around after I finish the job and it takes 2 to 5 days before I’m paid for the job. I started to put $12 in the tank, and then $15, but thought if I put $15 in the tank and I need the extra 15 miles that $2 will buy I really don’t want to ask for $2 on pump whatever. I put the whole $17 in and set myself up to be without any money, and only a jar of peanut butter and about a dozen slices of bread for 2 to 7 days since if I don’t receive the money on Friday, it isn’t going to come until Monday and possibly not until Tuesday.
There’s no telling with this app. There’s been times I’ve done a job and it’s there in 2 days, and other times I’ve done a job on a Sunday and haven’t received the money until Friday. I wrote about those incidents that put me in similar difficulties but neither as difficult as these circumstances could have been. After completing the job the customer has to release the payment and this customer did not release the payment until later in the evening.
Tuesday and Wednesday I was rationing my peanut butter and bread, pretty hungry for most of both days and based on my recent experience receiving payments through this app I was planning to be without money until Monday. Today (Thursday) I checked my account and the money arrived. Immediately after I checked Craigslist and found a moving job to unload a truck and made $80 and received a $100 tip.
Some may wonder why I don’t pawn or sell my rings instead of going hungry? I won’t pawn them because of the risk that they could be lost or something could happen that would prevent me from getting them out. I won’t sell them because I’m not going to get what they’re worth. Jewelry is not an investment. I bought them during a time when I was making money but didn’t have any time. I was interstate moving (2018) and everyday was work and sleep. Had money I had no time to spend, which was good because I was saving, but I wanted to have something to show for those efforts and I liked the way the rings looked and the diamonds reflected the light. A pawn shop is only going to offer the price for the metals, which is probably about $100 on the white gold and $20 on the silver. Retail it’s $1500 worth of jewelry that I paid $800 for, that has an immediate market value of $100 to $150. I bought them because I liked them, and it also serves as an indicator that I’ve been in positions where I’ve had some money, but more importantly you can rule out drug dependency as an explanation for my circumstances since anyone with a drug dependency serious enough to lead to them being homeless and socially isolated would exhaust all exploitable resources to satisfy their craving for the drug.
I also received an email from my dad where he offers advice about how I can make money which isn’t for my benefit but for his. It’s for his personal satisfaction in feeling like he’s expressing concern and trying to help me where his continued indifference to my struggles that I publish may reflect poorly on him in appearance and may make him feel bad from time to time. An email and some advice creates the appearance of concern and effort and keeps his conscience clear. His conscience should be clear, I’m a grown man, he bears no responsibility for my present predicament and circumstances and is not obligated to help.
It’s irritating not so much because of the motivation of the correspondence, which can both be proven and denied, but because it reveals that he understands nothing about me or why my circumstances are as they are. He projects his former ambition to make money independently onto me, as if my goal is to make money independently. It isn’t about money or self employment. I had opportunities to make money. I saved $12,000 in 5 and a half months, and had I approached the job just a little bit differently and not left I could have kept working and making good money. Had I wanted to make money independently I would have invested that 12k into a business knowing that the efforts to promote my material and organization would likely end up as they have.
Had I been committed to the job they’d have paid for me to get any certification I needed for any construction jobs they did, taught me to use any piece of equipment, and put me in a position to do what Mark does and make contract money at a cut. Essentially, they’d bid more jobs and give me a budget to complete the jobs and I’d keep whatever was left over from the budget from the job. I obviously wasn’t able to do that at the time I left but I could have been there by the time I left if that’s what I wanted to do. Otherwise I could have continued as an installer making $30 an hour plus the possibility of bonuses, perks, and would have likely received incremental raises over time.
What does the money buy? I worked and saved the money I saved because I thought the money could be used to promote my material and through that promotion the human condition could be improved. I made some mistakes in my approach and appropriations but not enough to account for the complete lack of results I experienced. Given the inability to overcome human biases, except through maybe direct payment to people to learn the material which is a sum that I cannot reasonably save, I’ll ask the question again: what does money buy in consideration of the human aversion to truth?
The most satisfying expenditures I had while making money was probably sending money to my daughter. After that we have higher level of basic comforts, food, mood enhancers (phenibut, marijuana, occasional drink), dates with women, and the security of having money. What does more money buy? More money to send to my daughter, increased level of comfort, better car, etc.
My irritation with my dad’s email is he has absolutely no clue about what it is I’m trying to accomplish, or the substance of what I was promoting. Assignment, Sequencing, and Comparison is a completely novel discovery of the functions of the subconscious mind identifying all the fundamental ways objects can be assembled, organized, and perceived and how objective formation takes place down to the production of thoughts. There’s nothing in psychology or neuroscience that contradicts ASC, and there is plenty of research that is explainable through ASC and ASC is evidenced through thoughts, feelings, and behavior but on an individual basis.
Objective morality is incontrovertible, and in some instances of exchange I believe people have realized this so they’ve maintained their resistance by denying that desire is ever present in the conscious mind only to be denied their denial through the optimization of motion and maximization of the expression of subjective values. Which is to say morality is a determinant of motion because it prevents actions believed to be wrong, which means only prohibiting imposing acts allows for the most motion and most subjective expression as well as the fulfillment of the most desire despite those who would ask for proof that all people have desire as ridiculous as that sounds. And it is objective because any moral code that claims an act is wrong that does not impose is the imposition of a subjective preference onto others.
All human problems can be shown to be a product of objective moral shortcomings, individual and systemic. Explanations of systemic function and legislative solutions are shut out by political soap operas where the biases of the public are manipulated through these 24 hours narratives of deception and irrelevance that ignorant people of all political affiliations and leanings pretend to be civically engaged through.
An organization that could create a power that can only be neutralized through the passage of legislation and if not neutralized will produce the passage of legislation, if people understood the mechanism being referenced and just how greatly their interests will be served materially, if the present legislative agenda moves forward; and what can be accomplished in the future when the public has a tool that can be used to advance their interests. I’m talking about giving the public a seat at the real table, with industry and their representatives, who are talking about contracts, subsidies, regulations, tax credits, and other legislation that has an impact on their interests. Meanwhile the public’s focused on Trump being charged, Hunter Biden, that country music video (I wrote about it cannot remember name) and all manners of things they have strong manufactured opinions about that have no impact on their interests. In recognition of their own best interests not only are they able to advance those interests, but it broadens the popular perspective on politics and systemic function. OPL has the potential to change politics in this country forever, positively.
In objective morality and truth of motion there are existential implications that invalidate popular notions and superstitions about what life is that have profound effects on the human condition generally.
“Some men see things as they are, and say why. I dream of things that never were, and say why not.”. Robert Kennedy
I have 7 books and a screenplay on the same website my dad occasionally trolls to read about the chronicling of my misfortune. He hasn’t bought a book to even know what it is that I’m committed to that has led to the production of these circumstances, only skims the journal chronicling these circumstances and thinks he’s fulfilling some parental duty by sending me advice about ways I can make money. That’s the proof of the motivation for the emails being for his benefit and not mine. He has no duty or obligation, but I’m irked by the inauthenticity of the effort.
About a month ago I received a call from Chris from Premier I didn’t answer. A few days later Mark texted me a funny video of 3 ladders zip tied together and said it reminded him of me. He stereotyped me as the zip tie guy because one time I had an idea to use a zip tie on a repair we were doing on a ceiling, and another time some contractor left his ladder in our way so we zip tied the ladder together so he’d have to cut the zip ties to open it. I could call or text Mark and tell him I’m ready to commit to Premier and probably go back to work for him. The problem is money can’t buy me what I want. To address a previous assertions about my income opportunities calling Mark is not an income opportunity. It would require a commitment that I’m not interested in making.
Obviously I don’t want to continue living within these circumstances but these circumstances are preferable to the alternative. If I’m going to be ignored by people who don’t have an argument whose conceptions are inconsistent and determined by how information makes them feel, I’d rather live in subsistence, with general human incorrigibility responsible for that situation than enter some semblance of assimilation.
As for the idea that I should make money and ignore the ignorance around me, it’s similar to telling someone in a room full of tambourine and trumpet players that they should just enjoy themselves in that setting. It’s the same for me except the world is the room and the ignorance of the people and what that ignorance produces is the trumpets and tambourines.
Everybody can claim their life is great and repeat cliche slogans that they’re living their best life. But I know how much you make, how much you have saved, and how much you have in your bank accounts. Half of you have no savings accounts, half of you have an income share of than 29k per year (house hold median income divided by the average number of adults per household), and half of people have less than $1400 in their checking account individually. Median checking account balance individually is 1416, and I imagine the drop off comes pretty fast and steep. It’s also likely that what was in people’s checking accounts at the time the Fed did the survey, was already allocated to some bill in the near future.
People are content through their bullshit. Anything that challenges and threatens those beliefs is shut out, hence the position I find myself in.
I don’t write about my circumstances for the purpose of someone seeing it and being sympathetic. I write about it in part because it should demonstrate that there are things I know that make the unbearable bearable. I’m 0 to probably 35 years until I’m out the door and probably closer to zero than I am to reaching average life expectancy. Life is a short affair and I have a high level of certainty about life based on what I know. I am confident that upon death people are going to find out what life is and what they are. They’re going to hate that more than I have been made to hate this brief existence on this planet. There is some solace in knowing that.
8/20/2023
On the 18th I was able to find another moving job through CL. It was physically taxing (packed, wrapped and mostly loaded about 3000 cubic feet 3/4th of a semi trailer) and went from 7pm until 12:30am but I made $300 on that. This allowed me to change my oil, buy a used tire and get away from the coming heat.
I was around Des Moines and the temperatures were projected to be over 100. I can handle the heat of the day but I can’t handle a mostly 80 plus degree night. Sleep is important to me, I need 6 to 7 hours. I know how difficult it is to fall asleep when it’s above 70 degrees. I went to the closest tolerable place that had decent weather for the next few days. I may order some phenibut tomorrow. I don’t anticipate finding any work here on preferable terms so I may take a day or two just to edit the journal.
I bought a little bit of weed and edibles, spent $15 for two grams of flower and 10 10mg edibles. It’s like taking a breath. The general stress is relieved and I can think a little more clearly. Thoughts become less dominated by immediate and impending circumstances and this allows me to have more productive thoughts. If nothing else it encourages the production of objectives that improve well being. Otherwise objectives become occupied by trying to improve the immediate circumstances and avoid the impending worsening of those circumstances. Something I notice after not consuming any THC in the last two weeks. The same explanation I’ve supplied for my consumption of marijuana in the past.
I may head further east in the state since there is a major metropolitan area where I have a better chance of making some money, or I may stay here for a few days since the next job I find is probably going to be west of here. Maybe I can catch a trailer unload or load over there, but if not, then I’ve pretty much just wasted about 250 miles or more round trip when I could have just stayed put for 2 days until my phenibut arrives and I find a decent assembly somewhere. And edit this journal since there are typos, auto correct errors, and other things. I usually write at night and when I finish I’m too tired to read it over before posting it
8/29/2023
This entry begins with a brief exchange I had with a person who responded to a comment I made about a non-binary identifying comedian who was making a joke about her parents not understanding her. I received a notification from some comedy feed I have through YouTube and the title of the joke did not convey do a good job describing the content. Since I had to watch it I decided to respond to it.
The punchline is she came out to her parents as non-binary and her father gave her a hug and said “you’ll always be our daughter”. And then she says “no”, since she doesn’t identify as a female she isn’t a daughter in her mind. As I’ve stated repeatedly I don’t have an issue with people who identify as trans or non-binary, but I do recognize how gender identity is ridiculous, non-binary being the most ridiculous, and how people are manipulated through these biases and the consequences to the collective that these distinctions have in the prioritization of issues. My first comment is brief and the subsequent comments in response to the replies elaborate.
Orion Simerl:You identify as non-binary because you have nothing more relevant to serve as your identity and you’ve been taught gender identity is important. Non-binary is ridiculous, since for one, everything has characteristics that can be interpreted as masculine or feminine. Much of this is subjective (how one perceives things as being masculine or feminine), but everyone will like some things that can be associated with one gender and the other. If you don’t feel like a man or a woman all that means is the amount of feminine things that you like are relatively equal to the masculine things you like. It doesn’t make a difference how you identify, except that the broadening of your perspective could help you develop as a comedian since the funniest thing about the bit is you thinking your gender identity is important.
South Honey: Could have shortened this whole comment down into “i dont understand this” and it would have gotten the same point across.
Orion Simerl: @southhoney No because I clearly do understand it and if you understood my comment you’d have a rebuttal to the content not an empty assertion that I don’t understand it. Why would I say anything other than what I said? Behavior is a product of values, all values can be considered as being masculine or feminine, and a person’s gender identity is essentially the difference between the two. Non-binary doesn’t exist and it’s an insignificant distinction that people are taught is important so they can be manipulated through that identity to serve the interests of others.
Buch4620: Just let him be he will be a bigot all he wants some people will really never learn
Buch4620: @orionsimerl6539 reddit mod moment for sure if someone is not hurting anyone else for being who they want to be then why be angry at all.
Orion Simerl6539: @buch4620 Creating meaningless things for people to identify by creates collective prioritization and perspectives that impact the lives of others; because individual circumstances are determined by systems (political, economic, and social) and systems function through collective decision making. When people believe things are important that are not important it causes them to prioritize unimportant things which leads to the neglect of important things. It also creates divide and obstructs communication since bias forms through the faction, and individuals have values tied to what that faction consists of. For example, without the idea that gender identity is important you cannot derive the pleasure you derive from calling someone a bigot because they demonstrate that gender identity is not important. This is why bias obstructs communication because discovering something believed to be true is not true takes away the ability of the things that give them pleasure in life from producing that pleasure. Gender identity is unimportant, it’s a created brand that allows people to be manipulated through the biases associated with that brand. People do what they like doing, and their behavior is what defines them, and it isn’t important whether that behavior is associated with one gender or the other and what gender the person is that likes the things that they like. There’s no genetic distinction between gender identification, because it’s the assigning of masculinity or feminity to developed values and a person identifying themselves according to how those values are either consistent or inconsistent with their gender. I doubt you have the capacity to understand this because if you’re subscribed to the idea that gender identity is important you’ve probably lost the capacity to recognize the explanation of motion, coming to believe that reality is arbitrary and feelings and popularity is an instrument through which truth should be established. I mention this because you call me a bigot because you don’t understand what is being argued, you only know that it undermines your beliefs.
Buch4620: @orionsimer16539 if gender identity is unimportant why care so much about it? Their gender doesn’t define their personality. I fully understand what I’m talking about I’m just not really into being an ass to people around me even if don’t believe or feel they way they would.
Orion Simerl6539 @buch4620 The fact you asked if gender isn’t important then why care so much about it proves you didn’t understand my comment since I just provided the consequences that emphasizing the importance of gender has for others. Gender itself is unimportant since people are defined by their words and behavior and gender identity is nothing more than assigning a label to the sum of your values as you perceive them as being more masculine or feminine. Since you don’t understand this, you call me bigoted. Of course nothing I’ve stated is bigoted in that I’m not implying inferiority, superiority, unequal treatment, or anything that is derogatory about a group of people.
NOTE: Buch had 2 comments she deleted. The exchange took place two days before I had time to screenshot and post it. On my comment it lists 14 comments but only 11 are visible. At least 2 were hers and I’m not sure about the 3rd missing reply. It is important to my last comment because it’s in response to those deleted comments where she accuses me of calling non-binary and trans people mentally ill, which clearly I’m not doing. I’m calling them victims of indoctrination that have created biases that prevent them from critically examining their beliefs. She also said instead of writing what I have written it would be easier just to call people by their pronouns. She said what I was doing was for self validation. That isn’t altogether untrue since there are a great deal of ideas that are rooted in self worth, and the promotion of those ideas reinforces self worth which is essentially self validation. We see ourselves doing things we understand to be good and this increases self worth which feels good. The subconscious creates objectives to produce those feelings. Addressing a popular misconception produces a positive feeling, as well as recognizing the utility of it if understood. There’s other subjective things involved like knowing you can and will address and invalidate every rebuttal because you know the motion of the subject. It’s also a strange assertion coming from the position that people need to use a person’s chosen pronouns instead of their biological pronouns which is completely self validation. The following is my final comment addressing her deleted comments. I don’t know if she is a she, I’m making that presumption based on the name Buch which suggests that she’s a lesbian and the position from which she’s arguing.
Orion Simerl6539 @buch4620 You have no conception of the value of the truth, suffering from a well being indoctrination that believes lying to self and others is good if it makes people feel good, but it ignores the consequences the deception has for others. As pronouns go if the preferred gender is apparent or convincing I may use their preferred pronoun because its more comfortable to call a man in make up and a dress she than he, and is more accurate according to appearance where others will better understand the person being referenced based on appearance. I’m not changing words, they and them is in reference to more than one person, and the distinction is meaningless. Even defined according to values, the sum falls one way or the other. Whether or not someone references you according to your chosen gender identity has no bearing on your opportunities, what you like, or how you behave based on those values. It’s something people attach to who do not have more interesting things about themselves to identify by. It’s an opportunity for a non-marginalized person to enter into a group that promotes itself as being marginalized. You’re lying in your comment claiming I embrace the stereotype that LGBT people are mentally ill. There’s nothing in my comment promoting that stereotype.There’s nothing hateful about my comments either, which is more evidence of your ignorance where you think you can call a position that accurately describes the basis for gender identity, why it isn’t important, and the consequences it has for others hateful because you don’t have an argument against it, and the position invalidates ideas you’re invested in. You call it bigoted and hateful and make claims that I have said things that I have not.
—The comment exchange is another example of a person who is prevented from comprehending due to a bias and a desire to keep their beliefs intact. It’s willful self deception evident in how she approached the debate and the deletion of comments. She calls me a bigot despite nothing in my comment being bigoted, and accuses me of supporting the belief that LGBT people are mentally Ill, likely to prompt me to take the position to give her something she feels she can argue against. When you know your position and your position is true you don’t need to resort to those kind of things to demonstrate that. When your position is based on opinions and feelings and your self worth is tied to that position or the ideas are essential to your perspective a person will resort to those tactics.
—I was in Michigan for a few days avoiding the heat in the area I was in previously: Omaha and Des Moines. I found a job to change an alternator in Superior, WI, and to finish a trampoline in Kansas. Close to $500 after fees, but also the cost and time of driving 1200 miles. Drive, allow some music to boost your mood, and think. Unfortunately the thoughts are much less productive than they used to be, always preoccupied by circumstance. The alternator was scheduled for Saturday and the trampoline scheduled for Monday.
I got lucky and found a moving job in Grand Rapids, MI. I briefly thought I had a moral infraction because I threatened to slap the shit out of this dude who was ducking work. This dude was making every effort to not carry items from the truck to the house. Started unwrapping furniture and folding blankets while we still had half the job to unload. He was repeatedly striking up unsolicited conversations with the home owner to avoid work. I try to be pleasant, and joke and comment in passing but I’m working while I’m doing it. He was taking items from the truck and setting them outside the truck which wasn’t necessary because we had a ramp to bring the hand trucks into the truck.
The confrontation was born out of me grabbing this large bed frame down from the top of the stack. I said you want to take this with me real quick. He said I have to do something and stood there fiddling with a fanny pack. I said anything to avoid doing some fucking work. He said not on your time. I reminded him that he ain’t been doing shit all day, called him a lazy piece of shit, and told him I’d slap the shit out him if he kept talking shit. He had some other remarks in there that led to that.
At the end of the day I was going to apologize for threatening him and explain that it wasn’t for him but for me in the satisfaction I get from acknowledging that I’m wrong and say he was still a piece of shit. That was my initial internal reaction. I didn’t have the opportunity to execute it because he left before the job was finished.
Later I’m reminded that imposition is justified for imposition and it was his imposing acts that produced my imposing act. This was amplified by the fact that the homeowner gave us a $160 tip right when we started. That should be motivation to finish the job quickly and take care of his stuff. Seemed unappreciative of the act. Him fucking off when there is only him, the driver, and myself, means he’s imposing on our time including the homeowner by making the job take longer, and imposing on the energy of myself and the driver as we need to move more after he agreed to provide those services. I don’t ask anybody to do as much as I do, or work as hard as I do, but I do expect a person to be consistent in their effort.
Mind you, we’d been there a few hours to that point and I had been observing him fucking off the whole time. Without his refusal to help me get the job done, I probably wouldn’t have said anything to him.
A more thorough moral explanation is as follows: first we have prevention or neutralization of imposition. If the threat has the potential to neutralize imposition the threat is justified. Shortly after this he seemed to be working a little harder. I remember him carrying like a particle board shelf which was the biggest thing he took by himself occurring shortly after the threat. He seemed to work pretty steady after that. Even if it didn’t work, the imposition of the threat is justified because of its potential to neutralize the imposition. If someone shoots a robber but the robber still steals his stuff, the victim isn’t wrong for shooting him because he failed to neutralize the imposition. In the same respect a threat that doesn’t encourage someone to stop avoiding the work they agreed to do is still justified because of its potential to.
Second, since being imposed on negatively impacted me in creating more work and causing it to take more time to complete, it is just that I am made whole. And the potential of putting some fear in him is an idea that feels good in consideration of what he has done to me, that I would not do to him. I’m entitled to the restoration of my well being in where it was before I was imposed upon unprovoked. That’s justice, for an injured party to be made whole, and restoration of wellbeing is the essence of that.
Third, there is causation which often isn’t a justification for imposition but may be. Causation is in the fact that had he behaved differently I’d have behaved differently towards him and would not have threatened him. I may have been justified in slapping the shit out of him. He was probably 5’9 and 160 lbs which was one of the main reasons I didn’t. That isn’t to say I won’t put my hands on someone smaller than me but there typically has to be a physical action or threat, or some serious imposition in regard to money or in defense of another. I did radar up. Just the term I use to describe my focus when I’m thinking about hitting someone. Focus on the place you’re thinking about hitting them. There’s a chance he could have said the wrong thing and I’d have slapped the shit out of him.
If not for the pattern of behavior dodging work all day if he said he had something to do and didn’t want to take the frame I wouldn’t have said shit to him about it. I did want to take the frame which was basically 4 fabric padded side rails taped together. First because it’s a fabric item I didn’t want to get dirty setting it down in the truck, and second because they were long and took up a lot of space if left on the floor of the truck.
I contrasted this experience which was overall a good opportunity with my previous moves in Iowa. The first preceding move I worked with a guy who was great. He had no moving experience, worked at the Amazon warehouse from Amkey (thinks it’s Amkey just north of Des Moines). He was steady moving shit, often both of us for about 5 hours clearing out a finished basement. He was living up to his terms of service and I was so appreciative of his effort. I felt lucky to have gotten such a hard working get the job done kind of person. There’s no reason to believe that we wouldn’t have been there much longer had it been someone other than the guy that was there. The move before that I unloaded about 1000 cubic feet by myself except for the couch. The driver helped with the couch but nothing else. I didn’t have a problem with it because he’s paying me to perform those services. The customer was great. She was trying to be helpful and I was reminding her that she didn’t have to do anything but tell me where stuff goes. We had friendly conversation and comments in passing. Isn’t noteworthy in itself but I’m aware of the positive impression that I probably left. Drove away thinking about the full spectrum of my behavior and how it couldn’t be ascertained through that interaction. Where she wouldn’t think based on our interaction that the same guy would be threatening to slap the shit out of somebody for imposing on his time and energy roughly a week later.
But that’s who I really am. A person who treats people with respect, who is honest, and generates a great deal of satisfaction from helping others. A person who likes to contribute to an environment where people feel free. This chic I used to see in Denver (I was messing with her 2017 2018, I hung out with her December 2022 and she had fell off) gave me a great compliment when she said she feels free around me. That’s the goal of my behavior, and more broadly of my agenda, because people who are controlled through biases rooted in false beliefs are not free, and people who do not have inadequate opportunities for time and money, or do not have opportunities to be productive in a chosen vocation are not free, they’re slaves to the maintenance of those circumstances.
I’m also someone who recognizes imposition and seeks to impose consequences for imposition and seeks to prevent and neutralize imposition. My behavior towards a person will change if I suspect they’re trying to take advantage of my kindness or see my kindness as a weakness. I lose the feeling from what ever my kindness may be liberating you from through the perception that you feel entitled to it, or that I’m supposed to or have to do it. In other words I can’t give it if you’re trying to take it. That’s why my behavior will change towards a person who I believe is taking advantage of me, is trying to take advantage of me, or thinks the kind behavior is born out of weakness.
There’s the person I am and then there’s the person I’m forced to be because so many people are pieces of shit. It feels best to be kind and helpful to those whose behavior is appropriate for such treatment, but it feels better to withhold from those who think they are taking or trying to take.
When I was working for Premier one incident among others, I was distributing panes of glass for the shower doors. There were 27 floors, 15 rooms per floor and 17 showers per floor because 2 apartments had 2 showers. The process of bringing up the glass which was 70 some inches tall and varied in width from about 20 inches to about 40 inches wide, about a half inch thick. We’d load a floor or two onto the elevator and set them outside the elevator. One of the painters who were also doing the wallpaper in the elevator landing area told me I needed to move the glass because they needed to do the wallpaper. I told him I had to finish bringing up what we had to the other floors but I’d distribute on that floor first.
I finished getting the glass panes up and went to that floor to distribute. I walk over to the panes, (I think I had my hands on them. Probably wrote about this after it happened. Memory was probably colored about what I told the guy who told me to move it initially) and a paint crew supervisor told me you need to move that glass now. I told her I was just about to move it, now I’m not moving them. I wanted to move them so they could do their job but there was no way I could let her think that that’s the way she’s going to get things done with me. Like I was doing it because she told me to, not because I wanted to do it. I can’t give it, if she thinks she’s taking it. There were a few misunderstandings with the painters on that job but I felt good towards them overall, in that they were mostly accommodating with me and I tried to reciprocate whenever possible. After a few misunderstandings we had. It is still strange to me that I threatened the guy on the Michigan move. It has to be about the first time in a decade or more that I threatened someone.
—
Saturday I woke up at a rest area in Superior about 1:00am to a loud clicking coming from my dash. I noticed my charger light was off. I pushed it in to make sure it was pushed in all the way and it was still off. I put the keys in the ignition and nothing happened. Apparently I unknowingly turned on my parking lights and this drained the battery. I woke up 6:45am. Got my jumper cables out and popped my hood. One car pulled in and it was an older man sitting in his car reading the paper. I didn’t want to interrupt him while he was reading but I checked periodically to see if he stopped. Eventually the porter arrived at work and I asked him for a jump. He gave me a jump and I threw him 10 bucks because I was very appreciative since I had the alternator replacement in 2 hours.
I thought it was easy money but it ended up being a beast of a job on an 07 Jetta. No room to do anything, half the bolts are torcs screws, I had to buy about $30 in additional tools. What’s usually an hour to two hours job on most cars took me all day. I might have spent 3 hours on removing the bolts that held the wires on the back of the alternator and putting them back on, and on the 3 torc screws that held the tensioner pulley taking them off and putting them back on. There’s like one perfect angle of space to get a socket on the bolts or star screws and break it loose or tighten it. I have no plans to do anything else on a Volkswagen.
The following day I’m driving to Manhattan, KS for a trampoline assembly. I cashed $27 out of my just play account and checked my debit account and it had about $30 in it. I had $101 in cash. Close to Sioux City where I planned on using the Planet Fitness my low tire pressure light came on. I viewed the tire pressure and one of my tires read 3lbs of pressure. I stopped at the planet fitness because it was closer than a gas station on the off ramp. I saw that the tire was flat but the source of the problem was not apparent. I hoped it was just a slow leak that I could repair with a fix a flat. I drove to the nearest gas station and there was an air pump. As I filled up the tire I could hear air coming out of it and the side wall was deformed with protrusions forming as I filled it up.
I needed a new tire and I was about 250 miles from my destination. Too far to ride on the spare and if the spare pops riding at a speed and distance it’s not designed for my situation has just become dramatically worse. It was Sunday close to 5 pm. There were no used tire shops open.
I went to Walmart expecting a cheap tire to cost me about $100 with installation. That was if they had a cheap tire in stock. The last time I purchased a tire from Walmart they only had the Good Years starting at $109. I get to Walmart and they have a Douglas for $86 plus tax, plus $11 to put the tire on the rim and $16 to put it on the car. I’m looking at about $120 which is just about all my money. I won’t have enough gas to make it to my job in the morning. I need to make a purchase to get the money off the card so I can buy the tire. I intend to get $16 knocked off the price by taking the tire off in the parking lot and putting it back on myself. Then I checked my debit card balance to see exactly what I had on the card. This time the balance showed $56. The money from the just play cash out didn’t reach my account when I checked it earlier. By taking off the tire myself and finding out I had an extra $26 I had enough to make it to the job the following day.